“These are round trip, and it says your hotel is paid. And your food? I’m so jealous.”
“I’m going.”
“Really? You’re sure?”
“Yes, I’m in love with him, Karen. And knowing I nearly blew it, I can’t just sit here and let the tickets go to waste. I have to go and make this right.”
“But what about the buffet, your bills?”
“I’ve been socking away some money for an emergency. I think this counts.”
“Fuck it. You’re not leaving me here. I’m going too. Besides, you need a chaperone.”
“But there’s only one ticket.” I wanted her to go, but she was going to have to pay her own way.
“I’ve got some of my fun money saved up, and I can’t let you go alone. What’s that you always tell me? I have to be careful. Unless you don’t want me to go.” She searched my eyes.
“No, of course, I want you to go. I’m just not sure how we’re going to both get away from here with Ben in a shit mood. I want to leave first thing in the morning.”
“Count me in.”
I took a deep breath. “I have a few days of sick time and vacation.”
“I’ll figure something out,” she said with a grin. “Then it doesn’t matter what that lump says. We’re going to North Dakota.”
Chapter 31
Zane
Waking up in my own bed was nice for a change, and to my surprise, I wasn’t alone. I looked down at the end of the bed and found Mila curled up in the corner of the mattress as if she had barely made it to the bed before falling asleep again.
I didn’t scold her about it. It wasn’t often she did that, and I knew she had missed me as much as I’d missed her. Instead, I went to the kitchen to fix us breakfast and plan our day.
She finally came into the kitchen, her bare feet padding across the floor as she marched to the nearest bar stool. “I want cereal,” she said.
“We don’t have any cereal,” I said. Or any bowls.
I had to pull out paper plates for us to eat on, but Mila didn’t notice. I had stopped at the market on the way home from ice cream to get eggs and bacon, knowing I’d want to do something special for our first morning home.
“What are you cooking?”
“Eggs and bacon. You like that. I’ve made it before.”
“Yeah, I like bacon. Only Nana says it’s the Devil’s candy.”
“That’s only because she doesn’t want Pop-pop eating so much of it. It’s not good to overindulge the way Pop-pop sometimes can.”
“What’s indulge?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
“It’s like when you take more for your enjoyment.” I thought of Tara at that moment. Man, had I indulged in her.
I felt a bit hollow inside, still wondering if she was going to call or be as stubborn as me. Maybe my uncertainty was a sign. Was I ready for a relationship? Was Mila ready for me to be in one?
Mila leaned on the bar, resting her chin. “Like when you eat out of the ice-cream carton?” she asked, knowing my mother had gotten on to me about that.
“Sort of like that, yes.”
“And when I eat too many cookies because they’re my favorite?”
“That’s right. We all do it. Especially when we really like something.” I put a plate of eggs and bacon on the bar and sat beside her. We usually had our breakfast at the bar together, sharing a big platter. She’d take what she could eat, and I’d have the rest. It was nice to be back at home with her and our usual routine.
As we both dug in, me going for the eggs while she took a strip of bacon, it went quiet for a moment. Then she said something that surprised me. “Did you go on a date while you were in Las Vegas, Daddy?”
“What, Noodle?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right.
“Did you go on a date? Like with a lady.”
“What do you know about dates?” I didn’t want her to have that word in her vocabulary until she was thirty.
“It’s when you go out with a lady and kiss.” She took a bite of eggs.
“That’s not only what a date is. You don’t always kiss. Sometimes, you just talk and look at shooting stars.” I left out the part where we’d made out hot and heavy on the blanket. I didn’t want to think of her ever doing the things I’d done in my life on dates.
Mila looked at me, her little lashes fluttering as she blinked. “You didn’t answer my question.” She pointed a piece of bacon at me as if it were a weapon.
“Why did you ask?” I had a feeling who had planted the idea in her head.
“I overheard Nana ask Pop-pop if you went on any dates. He said he didn’t know.”
“And what would you think about that? About me going on dates?”
“If she’s a nice lady, I’m happy. But if she’s mean, I don’t like her. And if she could tie my hair in a ponytail without making my ears turn red, you should keep her around.”
I laughed, nearly choking on my last bite of eggs. “They don’t turn red. And that was only one time.”
Mila giggled. “It hurt, and Nana said you did it wrong.”
“I’m a man, and men don’t know how to do those things sometimes. So what do you think? Should I go on more dates?”
“Only if you want to.” She took another bite of eggs and bit into her bacon.
“But would it bother you?” I didn’t want to do anything that could upset her life. Her happiness was what really mattered to me.
Mila shrugged. “Would you still be my dad?” The question came with her puppy dog eyes, and that melted my heart.
“Of course, Mila. I’ll always be your dad. That’s not ever going to change, okay? Ever. You’re stuck with me, kid.” She didn’t have a mom who had stuck around, and I wondered if she felt like all parents felt that their role was optional. I couldn’t explain that her mother was selfish. “For your whole life.”
She smiled. “Then I’m okay with it. Would they be my new mom?”
“Only if you liked them and wanted them to be.” I wasn’t going to push someone, even Tara, on her if she didn’t like them. “But I’m not rushing into anything like that.” At least it didn’t seem likely.
“So? Did you?” She giggled.
I realized it was probably best to be vague. “You’re the only girl in my life, Mila. You’re all I need. It’s me and you against the world.”
After breakfast, I cleaned up the kitchen, and Mila and I put on a show that she liked to watch. I was just about to doze off when my parents showed up at the house.
“Knock knock,” said my mother as she stuck her head in the front door.
“Hey, there’s our favorite Nana,” I said, sitting up on the couch. “You caught us being lazy.”
“I’ll say,” she said, pointing down at Mila, who was stretched out on the floor sound asleep. “It’s been a long time since you two took a mid-morning nap. It’s nearly lunchtime.”
“We just ate,” I said. Or so it seemed.
“Well, we came to see if you wanted to go horseback riding. We could pack a picnic lunch and go out to our favorite spot by the stream.”
“Yeah, sure.”
My father nudged Mila. “Wake up, little one. Pop-pop is here. We’re going to the stream.”
As if someone flipped a switch, she sat up, bright eyed, and smiled. Then she hugged my father, who scooped her up.
“What do you want to take on our picnic?” he asked.
“Chicken nuggets!” she said.
“How about cold sandwiches?” asked my mother, knowing Mila wasn’t going to like that idea as much.
“If it’s all you got,” she said with a shrug.
“I’ll bring you some chicken nuggets for dinner. How about that?”
Mila smiled. “Do I get to get a toy?”
“Don’t you always get a toy?” he asked with a chuckle.
My father was determined to spoil her rotten.
We changed into some clothes suitable for riding, and thankfully, Mila had a
pair of jeans packed for her trip.
“I’m all set,” she said. “I’ve even got my horse.” She held up her stuffed unicorn, and my parents chuckled.
“Honey, you’re not bringing that this time,” said my mom. “There won’t be any room.”
Mila’s bottom lip poked out. “But I wanted my own horse.” She was going to ride with one of us, and she always complained about not having a horse.
“Go ahead, Noodle. This once. But you can’t hold it the whole time, and it will have to ride in my pack.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
My mother gave me a hard look. “You’re going to spoil her if you’re not careful,” she said. “It’s not going to hurt to tell her no once in a while.”
“I tell her no all the time. I don’t see the harm in it.”
Mom shook her head, and when my father and Mila went out to the car, she leaned in closer. “Your father said you met someone?”
“It’s nothing, Mom. I did, but I’m not sure it’s going to work out.”
“Is she a nice girl?”
My mother was going to grill me about it until she knew everything. “She’s nice. Her name is Tara, but we’ve parted ways, and I’m not sure it’s going to lead to anything. So could we just please drop it? And please don’t let Mila hear you talking about it. She’s already asked me if I was dating. She’s turning into your clone.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” said Mom. “It could be worse.”
She turned and went to the car, leaving me to lock up. I had boarded up the window and was pretty sure that no one could get in. The only crazy person who’d want to was locked up, and thankfully, she wouldn’t be a bother to me anymore.
My mother had been right. It could be worse than Mila being like her. She could end up like her own mother. Not that I’d ever let that happen, but I knew it was what my mother was implying.
But being like Heather wasn’t all bad. Mila had some of her mother’s good qualities, and those were the things I’d loved Heather for back when I did.
It hadn’t been all bad in the beginning, but the end had obliterated my memories of her, and only now and then through Mila did I get a glimpse.
We arrived at the trailhead just before one in the afternoon and rode out to the stream where Mila had caught her first fish. She had let it go, of course, but only after she’d named it. It had been such a wonderful day that we had continued to go there as a family over the past year.
It was a quiet place, with only the sounds of nature. The colors made a beautiful picture, and I couldn’t help but think of what Tara had said about finding a place that was green. It was green here, green and lush, and a perfect vision of inspiration.
She didn’t know what she was missing, and I sure hoped she’d use the tickets, if not to come and see me, then to see this place or something like it.
We ate our lunch as the horses grazed and drank from the stream, and after, we lay in the field while Mila and her Pop-pop picked wildflowers and chased bugs.
My mom searched for rocks in the stream, and I looked up to the sky. The clouds were puffy and white, and when Mila came over, she lay down next to me.
“Look, Daddy!” She pointed to the clouds. “It’s a face in the clouds.”
“Yeah, and that one looks like a bear. See it?” I had forgotten how she liked to find shapes in the clouds. “And that over there looks like a marshmallow.”
“They all look like marshmallows,” she said with a giggle. “You’re silly, Daddy.”
If I couldn’t be with Tara under the stars, then at least I could be under the clouds with my little angel. One day soon, she would be too old for this sort of thing. I was missing way too much of her childhood being away at work.
She got up and scampered off with my dad, and I sat up, no longer in the mood to daydream.
“You miss her, don’t you?” said my mother.
I thought she was talking about Mila. “Yeah, I’ve missed her so much. I almost came with you guys. I probably should have.”
“No, I meant the girl you met. You had a look in your eyes before Mila came to join you. It was a look of longing. And I don’t think you regret that trip to Las Vegas as much as you’d like to convince yourself you do.”
I did miss Tara. “I’ve been trying to give myself some time to settle back with Mila,” I said, glancing up at my mother. “Tara wanted me to call her. But I didn’t want to drag her into all of this.”
“What? Your beautiful life? Look around you, son. This is something to share with someone you love, and if you love her, and I’m not saying you do, but maybe put in some effort to see where it goes. Your whole life can’t be about Mila’s happiness. She’s going to grow up, and you need to make sure when she does, you aren’t left all alone.”
I took her words to heart. Was Tara someone I could spend the rest of my life with? Maybe it was time to make some effort.
I found my phone and walked out along the stream until I had service, but when I called, there was no answer.
I sighed and hung up without leaving a message.
Chapter 32
Tara
As I went through the security checkpoint at the airport, I had to drag Karen along with me. “Stop being difficult,” I said. “You’re the one who jumped up and wanted to come along.”
“I’m coming, and I just forgot how much I hate to fly.”
“It’s going to be fine. When we get there, you can soak in the jacuzzi and order room service.”
“What if it’s not the big place it promises to be? Isn’t it like crazy in the mountains with bears and bugs? What if their idea of fancy is like an army cot and a mosquito net?”
“It’s not like that,” I said, not really knowing if I was right or not. “Zane said it’s beautiful, and I doubt he’d send me anywhere tacky.”
We made it through the security and gathered our things in time to board.
“Hold my hand,” she said as we handed off our boarding passes. The attendant smiled, but I could tell she thought we were both crazy.
We found our seats, and I felt butterflies in my stomach as I prepared for my first plane ride.
“You’re going to have to tell me what to expect,” said Karen, who didn’t want to sit by the window. “I’ve never flown before.”
“Wait, I thought you had. I haven’t flown before. I depended on you to be my rock. I wish I’d known this sooner.”
I had to remind myself that I was going to see Zane at the end of the trip, and by the time we took off, I was ready for the adventure.
“That wasn’t so bad,” I said once we were off the ground.
“Yeah, it’s not terrible,” she said, popping her gum. “I can’t wait until we get there. How long is this flight?”
“It’s almost three hours, but that will go by in no time.”
Karen, though scared, still managed to drift off to sleep, but I read my book and got to the ending just as the plane was coming in for a landing. I couldn’t believe I had finished the whole thing.
Now I was ready to go see the room. “Wake up,” I said, nudging Karen. “We’re here.”
“I slept through the landing?” She had kept her seatbelt on the entire time, so I didn’t think it was important to wake her.
“Yeah, I figured ignorance was bliss.”
“I had a good dream.” She glanced out the window. “Wow, look at this place!” She grinned ear to ear. “Oh, I’m going to like it here.”
“Me too. I hope I didn’t come all this way for nothing.”
“Do you have the address Clay gave you?”
“Yeah, and he said he should be there. That I should just show up. It would be fine. I just don’t know. He’s spontaneous, but I’m not.”
“Do it. He knows his friend.”
“Yeah, maybe it will be a nice surprise. Besides, I want him to know I made an effort. I messed things up. I should fix them.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You didn’t know what h
is big secret was, and anyone could have reacted the same way.”
She was right, and not only that, but I’d done my best to take steps to fix it. I had told Ben he’d be without me for a few days, and while he hadn’t made a fuss when Karen said the same, he was not happy to lose me.
Good thing he couldn’t do without me. Unlike Karen, I knew I’d have a job waiting for me when I got back. She couldn’t say the same, and yet, she still came along.
We called for a car, and it wasn’t long before we were on our way to the hotel.
“So, do you think Zane has any other friends he could introduce me to if things go well?” She glanced out the window and back down to her phone.
“Other than Clay? I’m not sure.” How many hot single friends could a hot and single man have? Judging by the crew back home, I’d say Zane had more than his fair share.
Karen wagged her brows. “Hey, I can get down with him. He’s hot.” The last thing I needed was for her to get a crush on Zane’s friend. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to be happy, but I also didn’t want their drama to be our drama. We had enough of our own.
“He’s having some problems from what Zane said. This isn’t Vegas, Karen. You’re not going to have as many men to take your pick of.”
“Well, I can wade in shallow waters. Besides, there aren’t as many sharks there.” She sighed. “I wonder where the men are around here.”
“The man camps,” I said, teasing. I was sure that was what Zane had called them.
Karen’s eyes lit up at the mention. “Man camps? That sounds like my kind of place. Maybe Zane will give me the address.”
She’d have more than she could bargain for out there. “That’s what they call the units the men stay in at the oil fields. You’re not going there.”
“You’re absolutely no fun.” She gave me a hard look, took out her compact, and began patting her face.
“I’m pretty sure it’s a no-girls-allowed kind of thing.”
Karen shrugged. “Their loss.”
All of a sudden, my eyes caught the amazing view of the mountains. “Oh man, will you look at that?” As far as the eye could see, it was the most amazing scene. My fingers itched to paint it, and there I was with no canvas or paints. “I hope that’s our view from the hotel room.”
Tell Me No Lies Page 19