Wrong Turn: Road Tripping Series

by Samantha Chase

  Shudder on the inside, keep smiling on the outside.

  “So how did he pop the question? Was it romantic? Did he get down on one knee?”

  Rather than answer right away, Bianca pouted. “Didn’t you see it on Instagram? Facebook? Snapchat? It was even on my blog! I posted a ton of pictures! And you haven’t even asked to see my ring!” She waved her left hand around dramatically.

  “Oh, uh…I haven’t been online a lot the last few days. Things have been crazy at work and…”

  “Too crazy to look at your phone? That’s lame, Chels. Even for you.”

  Say what now?

  “Lame? What do you…?”

  “Please, you read books for a living. Boring books. How can things get crazy?”

  “First of all, I don’t read books, I narrate them. And secondly, I also work at the physical therapy clinic.”

  “Yawn,” Bianca said, completely unimpressed.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.

  With a dramatic sigh, Bianca stretched out her arm and studied her ring. “It means you spend too much time working–reading about other people’s lives or helping them walk or something–and not enough time…you know…living!” She groaned. “Even when we’re hanging out, you’re not really focused. We all talk about it.”

  They were sitting in the back corner of a Starbucks, and as much as Chelsea was never one to make a scene, she seriously considered making one now. “What do you mean we all talk about it?”

  With a careless shrug, Bianca straightened and took a sip of her latte. “You know, me, Kendall, Shauna, Robbie, Alex, Jimmy, and Drew.” She shrugged. “And we all think you need to relax a bit. You’re way too uptight and you can really be a bit of a downer. And seriously, all the talk about books is incredibly boring.”

  Her eyes wide, Chelsea had to seriously consider her options here. It was one thing to sort of bitch amongst the girls about one another–something they all did from time to time–but it was quite another when the guys got dragged into it.

  Especially those guys.

  Jimmy alone was hard to handle, but once you threw in his friends, it became unbearable.

  Honestly, that was one of the reasons she knew she acted differently when they all hung out. Those guys just completely annoyed her to no end, and she knew most of the time she ended up looking and sounding like some sort of prude because she didn’t think everything they did or said was hysterical.

  Come to think of it, nothing they ever did or said was all that funny. Usually it was just offensive and immature.

  “Alex said we should just give you a break because he knows how obnoxious the guys can be,” Bianca explained.

  “Oh, well…that was nice of him.” Maybe I misjudged them…

  “But Drew thinks you’re just uptight and need to…” She paused and blushed. “Well, never mind. In that one instance, he was a little crude.”

  Chelsea saw red. “No, please…tell me what…Drew,” she said through clenched teeth, “had to say.”

  Drew Russo.

  Quite possibly the worst human being ever.

  It was fairly safe to say her feelings for Drew were marginally worse than the ones she felt toward Jimmy. Why? Because for whatever reason, whenever they all hung out, Drew seemed to make it a habit to glue himself to her side.

  He was attractive in that stereotypical Italian way–dark hair, dark eyes, charming, and always smelled good.

  But once he opened his mouth, he ruined it.

  At first she thought he was possibly attracted to her, but after a year of hanging out, he hadn’t even attempted to make a move on her, so that wasn’t it. Kendall and Bianca had teased her at first, thinking the same thing, but Chelsea assured them there was nothing there.

  “Oh, come on,” Kendall had challenged. “You know how sometimes guys aren’t good about expressing their feelings. Maybe you’re missing the signs.”

  “Uh, no,” she’d replied blandly. “And besides not hitting on me, he’s really kind of a jerk to me most of the time.”

  “That’s what guys do!” Bianca had cried. “Guys are always a little mean and jerky to girls they like!”

  “Yeah, in kindergarten,” Chelsea argued. “Grown men–mature men–don’t do that.”

  It had taken months for her friends to move on from that topic.

  “So?” she prompted. “Go ahead. Tell me what he said.”

  Now Bianca looked a little uncomfortable. “He might have mentioned something about…needing a good…you know…just a night of hard…” She stopped and cleared her throat. “There are a ton of studies on the importance of a good orgasm, Chels. Have you read any of them?” Then she had the nerve to giggle. “Maybe that’s the kind of book you should be narrating!”

  Oh, dear Lord…

  “My sex life…” Or lack thereof “…isn’t anyone’s business! Why would you even tell me this?” she cried. “How could you possibly think this was information I needed?”

  “You asked!

  Rolling her eyes, Chelsea mentally counted to ten before she spoke. “Let’s just…move on. Okay?”

  Bianca nodded solemnly.

  “Now, show me the ring and tell me all about your plans.” And plastering a smile on her face, she sat back and listened to her best friend wax poetic over all the things she wanted her engagement and wedding to be.

  Most of it wasn’t a surprise–they’d known each other since the third grade and, therefore, had already shared all their romantic hopes and dreams. So far, Bianca was light years ahead of achieving hers while Chelsea was…well…not.

  Not for lack of trying, though.

  Okay, maybe she wasn’t trying all that hard. But her career was finally in a good place, and once she felt comfortable with it, she knew she could focus on finding a nice guy to date and go out with and…yeah…get a few good orgasms from.

  Maybe.

  Hopefully.

  But damn would it be nice.

  Stupid Drew. Now that was all she was going to be thinking about.

  “So anyway,” Bianca was saying, completely unaware that Chelsea zoned out. “I think it’s the perfect place for a wedding. I’m going to run it by Jimmy and…if he’ll go for it…I’d love to elope sooner rather than later! Wouldn’t that be amazing? I mean, could there be a more perfect place for me to get married?”

  Uh-oh…wrong time not to pay attention.

  Rather than admit it, Chelsea smiled broadly and let out another girly squeal. “It is! It truly is! And it’s going to be beautiful!” She let out a dreamy sigh. “All of your dreams are coming true!”

  That seemed to appease Bianca because she leaned over and gave her an exceptionally long hug.

  One Mississippi…two Mississippi…

  When Bianca finally let her go, Chelsea reached for her chai tea and raised it. “I know it’s not champagne, but…a toast. To you and Jimmy!”

  She seriously almost gagged on the words.

  “And your happily ever after!”

  “Yay!” Bianca cried happily. “To me!”

  Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she asked, “So what’s going on this weekend? Anything?”

  “Again, if you had checked your phone, you would have seen the group text.” Ironically, Bianca didn’t resist rolling her eyes. “Jimmy and I are hosting a cocktail party at our place Friday night. We’re having it catered and it’s going to be amazing!”

  “Wait…at your place? What about our standing Friday night at O’Dwyer’s? We’ve been going there for years!”

  Another eye roll. “Chels, this is big, okay? We want to celebrate right. And an Irish pub isn’t exactly the place I want to toast my engagement with all our friends.”

  It was hard to argue that logic. Still, they seriously had been going to O’Dwyer’s every Friday night since they were old enough to drink. It was tradition. And once Bianca had started dating Jimmy, he brought his friends along to join the party.

  Much to Chelsea
’s chagrin. But whatever.

  “Be there at eight and promise you’ll refrain from talking about whatever book it is you’re narrating this week, okay?”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to make a snarky comment, but again, she refrained. “Not a problem. I know how much you despise hearing about history books. However, I’m auditioning to do some contemporary romances. Maybe…”

  “No books, Chels. I’m serious. Can’t you just hang out and be like…you know…fun?”

  Sometimes it was hard to remember why she was friends with Bianca.

  This was one of those times.

  “Okey-dokey then. Should I bring some wine?”

  Bianca waved her off. “That’s all being taken care of by the caterer. Just bring yourself,” she said with a smile. “And a gift! We’re treating this as a mini engagement party. Fun, right?”

  The only acceptable answer here was…

  “Absolutely! Can’t wait!”

  She was just about to take a sip of her rapidly-cooling tea when Bianca reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Chelsea’s.

  “How long have you and I known each other?”

  “Um…since forever?”

  “Exactly. And I can tell when you don’t approve of something.”

  “What? I never said I didn’t approve, Bee.”

  “You didn’t have to. Your face did it for you.”

  Oops…

  Sighing, Chelsea slowly pulled her hand away and carefully sat back in her chair. “What is it you want me to say here?”

  Bianca mimicked her pose. “I guess…just spit out what’s on your mind so we can move on.”

  “I guess I still don’t see,” she began and then stopped. “Maybe you’re being…”

  Nope, that wasn’t going to fly either, dammit.

  “Chels, come on!”

  “Okay. Fine. I think you can do way better than Jimmy, and I think you’re being impulsive by getting engaged so soon. There!”

  Leaning forward, she could see Bianca was set with her rebuttal. “First of all, we’ve been dating for over a year. That’s not impulsive. And have you ever heard of opposites attracting? Jimmy is sweet and funny and he totally dotes on me. I get how he can be a little loud and juvenile at times, but when it’s just the two of us, he’s amazing! Maybe if you just got to know him…”

  “If his entourage wasn’t with him all the damn time, maybe I could,” she countered and realized this wasn’t going to get them anywhere. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t know him and it doesn’t matter how I feel. As long as he’s good to you then…I’m happy for you. Really.” Now it was her turn to reach for Bianca’s hand. “Don’t hate me, okay? I just worry about you.”

  “I know, and I love you for it. I just wish you would relax more. Maybe if you found yourself a nice guy…”

  “I’ve dated three nice guys this year alone and they ended up boring me to death. None of them were Mr. Right.”

  It was true. Sad, but true. Any of the three–David, Jeremy, or Matt–should have been right for her. Their dating profiles had said they were, but once she went out with each guy a few times, Chelsea realized there was no spark…no zing...no excitement. That wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?

  “Well, I think you need to spend less time worrying about me and more time focusing on finding your Mr. Right. Or at least Mr. Right Now to help you relax!”

  As far as cocktail parties went, this one wasn’t the worst.

  It would be much better if there were more people invited.

  Seriously, why did Jimmy let Bianca make everything “intimate”? That’s what she called all their get-togethers and it was annoying as hell.

  He snorted with disgust. Intimate? More like small and boring. If the chick didn’t have friends, why did he have to suffer? Drew knew for a fact that Jimmy had a ton of friends and most of them never made it to any of their intimate Friday night gatherings.

  I wish I hadn’t made the cut…

  Looking around the room, he saw the same seven faces he’d been seeing every damn weekend for almost a year–give or take a face or two. Every once in a while, someone would have a date or skip a week, but for the most part, it was always the eight of them and he was hitting his limit on how much more he could take.

  With any luck, Jimmy and Bianca would get married sooner rather than later and only want to hang out with other married couples.

  Hey, a guy could hope, right?

  “Drew!” Bianca called out. “Come settle an argument for us!”

  It was hard to stifle the groan as he walked across the room. “What’s up?”

  “Jimmy said no one–well, none of the guys–would want to go to some resort for the weekend and get spa treatments. I told him he’s wrong, and Alex and Robbie are refusing to answer,” she explained with a small pout. “You’d go though, right?”

  Drew looked over at his friends and cocked a brow like, “Is this woman for real?”

  “Um…”

  “It’s not like it used to be,” she quickly reasoned. “Men go to spas and get pedicures all the time! There’s no shame in it.”

  He held up a hand to stop her. “Why are we discussing this?”

  With a dramatic sigh, she said, “Because I thought it would be fun for us all to go away for a weekend and get pampered before the wedding!”

  With a shrug, he took the beer Jimmy was holding out for him. “Yeah, sure. Why not? I wouldn’t say no to a massage either,” he added with an exaggerated waggle of his eyebrows.

  Someone snorted

  Drew didn’t even need to look around to know who made the sound.

  Chelsea.

  She was what he called The Three Bs–beautiful, blonde, and boring.

  Well, mostly boring.

  Why Bianca–or any of the women here for that matter–hung out with her, he had no idea. She was about as much fun as a case of poison ivy–overly serious, overly studious, and an all-around bore to be around. Maybe that was mean to think, but Drew preferred a woman with a little more personality–someone who wasn’t afraid to laugh at herself–and who didn’t take everything so damn seriously.

  She was tedious and yet, somehow, he kept drawing the short straw whenever she had to be dealt with.

  Which was every weekend.

  At some point in the evening, everyone would be laughing and having a good time, and Miss Priss would have something to say about whatever they were all talking about. Usually it was to disapprove of something Jimmy and Bianca were doing. The first few times it happened, Drew didn’t think much of it, but then he noticed a pattern and he wasn’t the only one. Jimmy had pulled him aside and they came up with a code word for whenever he needed to step in and defuse a situation.

  Cantaloupe.

  Yeah, their big, manly code word was a fruit.

  Chuckling softly, he took a sip of his beer. Tonight should be relatively painless. They were all here to celebrate. There was no way Chelsea–or anyone for that matter–could possibly find a reason to complain.

  Jimmy moved over to his side, grinning like a fool. “Thanks for coming, man.”

  He shrugged with a smile of his own. “It’s Friday. Where else would I be?”

  “Yeah, well…I appreciate you coming and hanging out here. I know it’s not our usual place and there’s definitely zero chance of you hooking up with anyone…”

  “Dude, I’m a big boy. I can handle a Friday night with no prospects of a hook-up. Trust me.”

  “You’re sounding a little disillusioned. What’s up with that?”

  What was up with that?

  Another shrug. “I don’t know. It’s getting old. I thought at this point in my life I’d be with someone and planning a future or at least thinking of it. The last few dates I’ve been on have just been…”

  “Boring?”

  “Kind of. I don’t know. For years it wasn’t a big deal to go out on a few dates just for the sake of messing around. Now I’d like so
mething different. More. I see what you and Bianca have and…”

  Jimmy let out a low laugh. “I still don’t know how I got so lucky.” He paused and took a pull of his beer. “Don’t get me wrong–Bianca can be a handful and she has some serious drama issues, but at the end of the day, I just know she’s it for me.”

  He nodded. “Everyone can see that.”

  “Not everyone,” he muttered.

  “What do you mean?”

  Looking over his shoulder, Jimmy nudged Drew to move closer to the wall and away from their friends. “Okay, I know we all give her a lot of shit, but I’m afraid Chelsea’s going to talk Bianca out of marrying me.”

  “What?!” he cried. “Why would you even think that?”

  “How can you even ask? It’s like she’s specifically looking for me to do something wrong just so she can tell Bianca ‘I told you so.’ It’s crazy.” He took another drink. “It’s like being watched over by a nun. I’m constantly on my best behavior and it’s exhausting.” Another drink. “And I know I’m not perfect; hell, I screw up all the damn time, and every time I think Bianca’s going to realize she’s making a mistake.”

  Drew studied his friend hard. They’d never done this–talked this real–and it was a little bizarre. So he took a minute to choose his words wisely.

  “Well…screw that,” he said instead. “If she doesn’t love and accept you for who you are, then why are you even thinking of marrying her?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t live like that–like constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s got to be exhausting.”

  “You have no idea,” Jimmy said wearily.

  They stood in companionable silence for several minutes before Drew had to ask. “You’re sure about this? I mean, really sure? You and Bianca?”

  Nodding, he replied, “Yeah. I’m sure. I just don’t know what to do to get Chelsea off my damn back.” He let out a long breath before saying, “You want to know what I really think it is?”

  Did he?

  “Uh…sure.”