by RJ Jones
But this felt better. Safer.
WE WOKE a little after lunchtime and I broke my promise of staying in the back of the van all day when I went to the park store to buy us some lunch. Alex stayed behind and when I crawled back into Maude, my arms filled with sandwiches and soda, I saw he hadn’t bothered to get dressed. Luckily we weren’t expecting visitors.
Alex had been unusually quiet since waking up, murmuring his thanks for the food, but not much else, so when he spoke after finishing his sandwich, it felt extra loud against the silence.
“One of them had a gun.” His simple statement came out of nowhere and it took me an extra second to realize what he’d said.
“A gun?” No wonder he’d gone pale when we’d sped out of the parking lot.
“Yes.”
“You saw it?” It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him; I was just having a problem processing it.
“Yes, it was pointed right at me.”
“What the hell?” My voice pitched up as more shock took over.
“When I looked in the mirror, my eyes locked with one of them. He was standing at the back, behind my door, and when he saw me in the reflection, he raised his arm and aimed at my head, my head in the mirror anyway. As we sped off, he raised the gun quickly, jerking it in a kickback, like he’d taken a shot. I thought he had, the blood pounding in my ears had me questioning whether I’d heard it or not, and I looked at you to see if you’d heard anything.”
Alex’s voice was quiet while my veins turned to ice. I tried to keep a calm demeanor, not wanting Alex to see how much his words affected me. If I freaked out, then he would too.
“He didn’t shoot; that’s not something you forget. I didn’t see the gun, I only saw the guy holding a baseball bat.” I took a gulp of my soda, hoping it would drown my rekindled nerves.
“Why would one of them ask for a rock to break the window when they had a bat?”
“My guess is none of them are roaming the streets because they’re smart.” I smiled, hoping to dissipate the uneasiness we were both feeling.
“Let’s avoid the big cities from now on, okay? The biggest city I want to see is Fort Wayne.” Alex shook his shoulders, like he was releasing the tension.
“Or San Francisco,” I countered.
“Or San Francisco.”
WE DIDN’T leave the van for two entire days except to get food and use the showers, and even then we didn’t leave each other’s sides. We lay together mostly in silence, pressing our bodies close, never letting the other move too far away. Our kisses were warm and gentle. We didn’t touch for excitement as our hands and fingers ran over every nook and cranny the other possessed, caressing the dips, valleys, and mounds of soft, warm skin. Our touches spoke more of tenderness and appreciation and we were content to lie in each other’s arms, holding one another close. If I enjoyed cuddles before, I now craved them. We used the time to comfort and reassure each other that we were both okay—unharmed and whole.
It was the first time I realized just how lucky we were.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Christmas Day
San Diego, California
WE STAYED in a hotel Christmas Eve night, nothing too flashy, but it had a great breakfast buffet in the dining room. It also had a shower big enough for two. After breakfast, Alex led me back to our room and gave me his present. When he presented the little black box, I thought he was going to get down on one knee and propose, and my heart skipped a little as I wasn’t sure what my answer would be. He didn’t give me enough time to figure it out as he slipped the ring from the box and pushed it over my left thumb. It was silver with a black scroll insert.
“I saw a guy in San Francisco wearing a similar one and all I could think was how good it would look on you. I think it suits you.” It was engraved on the inside: Josh. Alex. Simple, yet seeing our names permanently etched into something made my eyes burn. “Merry Christmas,” Alex said, his voice quiet just before he kissed me. I dragged him into the shower, stripping him completely before blowing him under the spray of the hot water.
“SIRS, IF you would follow me, please.”
Alex and I followed the tuxedoed waiter to a small table next to a large picture window overlooking San Diego Bay. Small linen-covered dining tables dotted the large upscale restaurant. Crystal and silver gleamed on each table, and the room was decorated especially for Christmas Day. Gold balls and mistletoe hung from strategic points while green and red wreaths decorated each door and pillar. It was understated and tasteful. Nothing gaudy here. Soft carols coming from the overhead speakers and lit candles added to the classy and expensive feel. I could see why Alex made such a fuss about getting to San Diego for Christmas; this wasn’t a restaurant you could just turn up to without a reservation.
We were dressed in jeans and our one good button-up shirt each, but although we were neat and presentable, I felt decidedly underdressed.
I played with the thumb ring Alex had given me that morning as I shuffled after our waiter. I hadn’t given him my present yet. After he had given me what he called a ‘friendship ring for guys,’ my present felt lame. I now felt stupid because he probably thought I didn’t get him anything.
Our lunch was huge, a set menu especially for Christmas Day comprised of a lobster appetizer, Caesar salad, roasted turkey with all the trimmings, prime rib, ham, candied yams, green bean casserole, baked potatoes, traditional pudding and custard, pumpkin pie, and a dessert cheese platter with coffee. I was so stuffed I couldn’t move and Alex offered to roll me back to the hotel. I didn’t have the energy to laugh at him.
After making our way to our room, we lay on the bed in a food stupor, fighting a post-feast nap. Tangling our pinky fingers together, I asked, “Why did you pick that restaurant for Christmas lunch?”
Alex turned to look at me, affronted. “Didn’t you like it?”
“God yes, the food was great, but it wasn’t our normal type of eating place. Even back home we don’t go to fancy places. I just wondered why, that’s all.”
“The restaurant is always booked out months in advance and I was lucky I got us in when I made the reservation before we left home. Davis is from here so it was his suggestion. I’m sorry we argued about it back at… wherever we were at the time. I just knew this would be a momentous trip and I wanted today to be memorable. We’re both without our families this year and I wanted something special to make up for that.” Alex’s small smile faltered.
The “You’re my family” I was going to say got stuck in my throat. I leaned over and brushed my lips against his instead. “You miss them.” It wasn’t a question. I knew he missed his parents, and to a lesser extent Calvin and Davis. He spoke to his folks every week, telling them about the great things we’d seen and done and they kept up with the travel blog Alex updated every few days. Of course he’d left out what happened in LA; I think he’d probably take that to the grave.
He nodded. “Do you miss your folks?”
“Sure, I guess. I miss Jules, but don’t tell her that.” I laughed. “It’s a little weird, but I think they miss me more than I miss them. I suppose it’s because they’re not supposed to be here with me, with us. I should be home so they miss something that’s not there anymore.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
Neither of us had the energy for anything other than a few lazy kisses before we fell asleep.
I woke sometime later to Alex’s hard cock riding the crease of my ass, his arms around me as he kissed and bit the back of my neck. I swore I’d fallen asleep with my clothes on, but when I looked down, my shirt was unbuttoned—Alex was busily tweaking my left nipple—and my jeans were undone and around my knees.
The dirty bastard was also a sneaky one.
“Ungh.” Alex found my cock and was stroking it slowly as he caressed and kneaded my ass cheek with his other hand.
Alex moved slightly and his cock slid through my thighs, brushing under my balls, making them rise into my body with each pass. Every f
ew strokes, his cock would push against my entrance, sending a shock of electricity straight to my dick, and I ground my ass against him, seeking more contact. I quickly turned into a moaning pile of want and need.
“You sure know how to wake a guy up.” I wrapped my hand around his on my cock and we stroked in time to him riding my ass.
Alex bit the fleshy part of my shoulder. “I want you. I want to be inside you.” Alex’s warm breath washed over my skin. As his cock brushed my hole once more, an incoherent moan rose in my throat.
“Please,” he breathed against my skin.
We’d been working up to this. I was apprehensive but I wanted it. At least I thought I did.
“Do it,” I managed through clenched teeth as I waited for him to enter me. Alex kissed the back of my neck and ran his hand up my arm.
“Relax, Josh. I’m not going to do it right now.”
“Oh.” I was strangely disappointed and relieved at the same time.
“Don’t move,” Alex said as he crawled off the bed and rummaged in a shopping bag on the floor. The sun setting over the bay cast a warm orange glow in the room, but when Alex got up, the space left behind sent a shiver down my spine. I stripped quickly and before I knew it, he returned, wrapping himself around me once more, his chest to my back.
I heard the telltale ripping of foil and the snap of a lid. “Lift your top leg up,” Alex instructed.
With my heart in my throat and my nerves zinging around my body, I did as he asked.
“Josh. Relax,” he said, running his hand down my spine to the top of my ass. “I can’t fuck you without preparing you first, it’ll hurt too much.” Not for the first time, I wondered how he knew about this.
Alex did a good job of relaxing me, kissing my neck and shoulder, stroking my cock back to full hardness and turning me into a needy pile of goo once more. When I felt a slick finger making circles around my hole, I groaned involuntarily. Alex continued to prod and poke, spreading the lube before breaching me with a single digit. I’d tried my finger before so it was okay, a little weird but not bad. There wasn’t any pain, just a fullness, and it wasn’t long before I was pushing back, taking him deeper.
“God, that’s so hot. Talk to me, tell me how it feels. I need to hear you, Josh,” Alex said between kisses to my shoulder and neck.
“Feels… good. Full. Weird, but good.”
“Can you take another finger? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Could I? I already felt so full. There was only one way to find out.
“Yes, do it.”
After a pause that I assumed was Alex applying more lube, I felt a second finger squeeze in next to the first. Holy shit, if I thought I was full before, I was bursting at the fucking seams now. It burned and stretched but Alex was gentle, pausing then pushing slowly, and it wasn’t long before I was rocking back again, taking him deeper still.
He curled his fingers, touching something inside that had me bucking almost clear off the bed.
“Found it,” Alex said almost to himself before hitting the same spot once more.
“Fuck, do it again.”
Alex continued to stroke my cock in time with his fingers moving in my ass. Every time he hit that same spot, I thought my balls were going to explode out of my dick. My breathing sped up.
“Do you think you can take me?”
“Yeah, do it. I want you inside me so bad.” My voice was not my own; it was littered with want, need and a desire I’d never felt before.
Alex slid his fingers from my hole, leaving an empty feeling I didn’t like. “Get on your hands and knees, it’ll be easier for you, not as painful.”
I heard the click of the lube again as I moved into position. I was about to ask him how he knew so much, but the head of his cock pushing at my entrance took any thought away.
“Fuck. Is that a baseball bat?” It was bigger than the cock I’d sucked that morning in the shower, I was sure of it.
“Try and relax,” he said, rubbing my back and neck in an effort to help lose the tension I held. “Tell me what it feels like. Tell me if it hurts. I’ll stop the second you tell me to, but holy fuck I don’t want to. I want this so much.”
“You’re fucking huge.” Alex stopped moving. “No, don’t stop. Just… not yet. Keep going.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, fuck me, Alex. It has to be you.”
Alex pushed a little more and his cockhead breached my ring. Christ, it burned, so much. Alex kept running a hand up and down my back as he slid in a little more, then a little more. I gritted my teeth and hung my head as I tried to control my breathing.
“Omigod, you’re so tight. Feels… God, so good.”
“Hurts,” I ground out as I exhaled hard.
“I’m almost there,” Alex breathed harshly. “Do you want me to stop?”
“Fuck no, I’m not going this far just to have you stop.”
Alex chuckled. “Stubborn bastard.”
“Just fuck me.”
Alex slid in a little more and then I felt it.
“I’m in, I’m inside you. I can’t get any more in if I tried.” Alex sounded amazed, if a little breathless.
“That’s great. Just… give me a second.” The burning gave way to an almost pleasant fullness, if only… “Move. Fuck me, Alex.”
Alex pulled out a short way before easing slowly back in. It wasn’t long before he picked up the pace. I knew he was holding back, not wanting to hurt me. I felt full to overflowing but the burning pain had eased, replaced with a push and pull that had my toes curling. I pulled on my cock, timing my strokes with the thrusts of Alex’s hips, bringing me back to full hardness.
Alex clenched my hips, his blunt fingernails digging into my skin making me feel possessed, claimed, as his harsh breathing washed over me like a sweet caress. His hips sped up, almost with abandon, as he pumped his cock inside me, swelling, filling me.
“Fuck, Josh. Yeah, ohchristyes.” Alex’s words ran together as he continued to work his cock in my ass, pumping in and out in fast succession. He made it difficult for me to keep up the pace on my dick.
When his cock touched that spot inside me again, I came instantly, hot jets spraying over my hand and the bed below that left my entire body tingling. I yelled his name with each spurt he pushed out of me and my vision blurred.
“Josh, ahh fuck. Josh!”
I collapsed on my arms, smashing my face into the pillows as his hips stuttered, his cock impossibly swelling more as he filled the condom deep inside me. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, all I could do was take what Alex gave me.
Slowing his hips, Alex slid in one more time before collapsing on top of me, pushing me into the wet spot. “Fuuuuck.”
Our breathing was labored as we lay there in silence trying to catch our breath. I turned my head and rested my cheek against the pillow, not daring to move anything else. Alex kissed me sloppily, running his hand down my side, a stupid, happy smile on his face.
“Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” His grin was replaced with a look of concern as I closed my eyes and didn’t answer right away.
“Hmm, yes. But it’s a good hurt.” I opened my eyes and smiled. “We have to do that again.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
December 26th
San Diego, California
DESPITE THE ache in my ass, I wanted Alex to fuck me again when I woke the next morning. His cock was riding my butt crease, but when the tip pressed gently against my hole, I stiffened.
“Sorry.” Alex’s breath washed over the back of my neck just before he kissed it.
“Don’t be. I want to do it again, just not right now.” I flexed my ass cheeks and winced. “Ugh, give me some time.”
“All the time you need.”
After spending most of the morning lying in bed, we showered together, Alex washing my body with tender, thoughtful strokes and being extra careful of my ass. Luckily we had a late checkout. Once we were both dry and searching for
some clothes, I thought it a good time to give Alex his Christmas present, albeit a day late.
“I have something for you,” I said just as he buttoned up his jeans and was searching for a clean shirt. It was laundry day.
“You do? I didn’t think you bought me anything.”
“I know. I’m sorry, but after the ring you gave me yesterday, my gift’s a bit lame, so…”
Alex sat on the bed next me. “I’m sure it’s not lame. I was nervous about giving you the ring hoping you wouldn’t read too much into it, so there’s nothing to be scared of.”
Read too much into it? What the fuck did that mean? I pushed any thoughts away about what Alex and I were doing and what we meant to each other. Scrap that. I knew what he meant to me, but now I wondered what I was to him. Was I his best friend who he just happened to be fucking? Or was I something more, like he was to me?
I sighed. Time would tell.
I rummaged around in my duffel for his present. “It’s not much. I bought myself one too,” I said, handing him the purple-wrapped package, which was a bit torn and crumpled after being in my bag for so long. Even the paper looked lame.
Alex didn’t seem to notice as he ripped the paper off and held the shirt against his chest to see if it would fit. It was the same indigo shirt the guy at the San Francisco B&B wore.
“I love it.” Alex’s smile chased away any insecurity I felt. “Where did you find it?”
“Remember that B&B we stayed at in San Fran? The guy behind the desk had one and it reminded me of the conversation we had about what color Maude was. When I asked him, he said he had a different color for each day of the week to match the seven colors of the rainbow. The day we left, he was wearing ‘red.’”