Indigo Road

by RJ Jones

  “How’re you feeling, son?” Dad looked a little stressed, but otherwise okay. Not as upset as Mom. I looked at Davis. He, too, looked fairly normal as he had his doctor face on, flipping through my chart. None of them looked like I expected them to after Alex’s death.

  I pushed the thought away. “’m I?”

  “Florida Hospital.” Davis examined my eyes, flashing a stupid penlight in them, which sent another jolt of pain into my head.

  “Ah, fuck. ’Lando?”

  “Yes, Orlando. Tell me what you remember about yesterday?”

  Was it only yesterday?

  I swallowed thickly. “I was driving. Alex smiling. Truck. Red light.” I didn’t know if I made any sense as the tears formed once more, making my eyes burn as much as my throat.

  “Good. That’s right. Eyewitnesses said a truck ran a red light and struck the driver’s side of the van.”

  “Throat. Sore.”

  “Yes, it will be. You had to be intubated when you came in. Nothing to worry about, though, the pain will pass in a little while. Here.” I felt a small ice chip on my lips and I took it gratefully.

  How could Davis be so distant, so… unemotional, when his fiancé’s cousin had died? Cal and Alex had been close, so Cal had to be here somewhere. Probably in the hospital chapel.

  I looked at Mom still sitting next to me, holding my hand in hers. Her features were sad but happy at the same time. My father stood at the end of the bed, a relieved look on his face. My anger flared, and despite the pain, I forced the words out. “How can you… be so happy? How can you not feel his absence like I do?” Speaking was hard work, but I needed to know how my family could not feel the loss of someone they considered an adopted son. “You loved him too. And now he’s… gone.”

  Mom’s eyes widened in confusion and Dad looked to Davis as if he had the answers.

  “What do you mean, darling?” Mom asked as she stroked my forehead.

  “Alex. He’s… gone.” I couldn’t stop the flood of tears that came.

  “Oh, honey. He’s not dead. He’s two rooms down. He’s been here the whole time, holding your hand.”

  “He’s not… dead?” It was a hard word to say and I feared the answer, even though Mom had just told me he was alive.

  Mom frowned. “Whatever made you think that?”

  “You said so. I asked…” I swallowed and Mom gave me another ice chip. “You said ‘I’m sorry, he’s gone.’”

  “Oh, darling. I’m surprised you remember anything at all with a fractured skull. I meant he’s gone back to his room, not he’s gone gone. He’s not allowed to stay here for long because of his ribs. He needs his rest as well, but he sure puts up a fight.”

  “He’s okay?” I wondered if I was hearing things now and if what I heard before was real.

  Davis rambled off a list of Alex’s injuries as relief ran hot through my entire body. “He’s going to be okay, though, right?” I asked, still not believing he wasn’t dead.

  “He’ll be just fine, he’s got a sore head and some cracked ribs.” Davis’s voice turned professional. “Your injuries are much worse. Your skull fracture was the most concerning injury, as the swelling in the brain was substantial. The resident neurosurgeon here got it under control before it had a chance to do any permanent damage to the brain tissue. You’re a very lucky man. Your femoral shaft fracture was pinned this morning, but it was a clean break and it’s expected to heal nicely. You’ll need crutches to move around and a full leg brace for some time and it won’t be completely healed for approximately four to six months. I expect it to ache every now and then, but you’ll be fine with some physical therapy.”

  “Can I see Alex?” I yawned, feeling exhaustion pulling at the edges once more. “I need to see him.”

  “Not right now. He still needs his rest, but it won’t take long before he makes Cal bring him back here when the nurses aren’t watching.”

  “What are you doing here?” I asked Davis.

  “When your parents heard about the accident, they asked me to come as someone they could trust to tell them what was going on. We all got on the first flight out. I can’t do much except be your liaison and let you know what I think. So far the doctors have been excellent. I don’t believe either of you will have any trouble recovering.”

  I was tired and had trouble focusing on my next question. “What about… your practice?”

  “Cal and I had planned to take this week off anyway. We were going to head to Chicago for a few days, but Florida has nicer weather.” Davis smiled. Obviously Florida agreed with him.

  My eyelids drooped closed but I forced them open again. Mom was smiling as she ran her fingers gently over the part of my forehead that wasn’t bandaged. That soothing mother’s touch. “Sleep now, darling. I’ll go check on Alex a bit later for you. Is there anything you want me to tell him?”

  “Tell him I love him,” I managed to say before letting sleep take me again, not bothered if I had just outed myself or not.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  April 5th

  Orlando, Florida

  “GODDAMN FUCKING piece of shit,” I grumbled as Cal entered the room.

  “You’re lucky it was me coming in and not your mother,” he said, smiling. “You owe me two now.”

  “Two, how come?” I asked, turning my attention back to the task of untangling the IV line from around my bedframe. I was still hooked up to a saline drip despite my insistence I was feeling better. I think Davis saw through me and knew I was saying it only because I wanted to see Alex. I was feeling better, but every time I sat up, my head would spin, not to mention my sore-as-fuck ribs. I couldn’t feel my leg, but that was because of the cast.

  “I rescued a few items of interest from the van before your parents found them,” Cal said, making air quotes as his smile turned wicked.

  “Oh shit. I forgot about the toys. Do you think you could hold on to them until we get home? Please?”

  “Sure. Alex already asked me. What kind of a cousin would I be otherwise?”

  “Just don’t use them.”

  Cal made a face. “Eww! Are you kidding? I’m not touching anything that’s been near your…” He waved his hand at my lower body still covered by the white hospital blankets.

  “They’ve been cleaned, idiot.”

  “I know, but still. It took a while for me to work up the nerve to even touch them. Luckily for me, most of them were already in the bag. Just the thought…”

  “All right, all right. I get the picture. I wouldn’t want anything to do with your and Davis’s items either.”

  “You might. Being a doctor, Davis gets his dirty hands on all kinds of things.” Calvin’s eyes sparkled as he grinned. “I know your lover’s a kinky bastard.”

  I shook my head slightly. I really didn’t want to know.

  “Help me out here,” I said, changing the subject.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m not staying here. I want to see Alex.”

  Calvin raised an eyebrow before looking around like he was involved in some kind of conspiracy and was checking we weren’t overheard, despite being the only ones in the room. “Hold tight. I’ll acquire a wheelchair.” Did he actually believe me? There was no way I could get out of bed. Before I could answer him, he dashed out of the room, looking left and right before speed-walking down the corridor.

  I sat up gingerly. Before my head stopped spinning, Calvin was back with a wheelchair. And Alex. He closed the door behind himself and pulled the blinds, glancing around the room like James Bond before pushing the chair over to the side of my bed.

  “You’re an idiot.” I laughed.

  “Shut up. I’m bored and you two are my only source of entertainment. I can’t find Davis.”

  I hadn’t seen Alex since the accident three days ago, as the medication I was on kept me either asleep or an incoherent mess for the most part. I knew he’d been here, though, as he left me little Post-It notes telling me to wa
ke up so he could see me and always signed off with I love you. Even though Alex was a bit banged up, he was still beautiful. My heart skipped a beat as I looked at him and smiled.

  His head wasn’t bandaged like mine, but he sported a good-sized bruise on his cheek that went up into his hairline. One large black and purple bruise covered his right arm from shoulder to fingers, but Davis reassured me it was only soft tissue damage, no major injury, but it would hurt like hell for a while. Alex was only being kept in for observation now and they expected to discharge him tomorrow or the day after.

  Alex didn’t talk to me at first, instead raking his gaze over my body, probably assessing how I was feeling without asking me. His glare landed on my mouth before asking Cal to go to the gift shop and see if he could get some lip balm. God, I hoped it was for me. Cal looked around the room once more before he set off on his mission. I reached for the bed controls so I could lower the bed down to Alex’s level, and he pulled his chair as close as possible. He leaned forward and rested his head on the uninjured side of my chest and took a deep breath.

  Underlying the sterile, disinfectant smell of the hospital, Alex’s scent was still there and it calmed me immediately. I wasn’t going to let him leave this room if I could help it and I briefly wondered how much Davis could authorize as a visiting doctor.

  “Josh.” Alex’s whisper was soothing to my soul as I put my good arm around his shoulders gently. The movement made my ribs ache, but the pain soon dulled. Alex’s good arm came up and I felt his fingers run tentatively over my chest. “I love you.”

  “I thought you were dead.” My voice was muffled against his hair as I kissed his head, and my eyes burned with new moisture.

  Alex kissed my chest. “I’m sorry.”

  “’S’not your fault.” I sniffed.

  “I’m sorry anyway. I’ve missed you but they won’t let me visit you too much and the drugs keep you asleep. I’m not supposed to be here now, but Cal smuggled me out.”

  “Stealthy about it, was he?”

  “He thought so.”

  “If he comes back with some balm, I’ll give him a blowjob as payment. My lips really hurt.”

  “If you weren’t so injured, I’d punch you.” I felt Alex’s lips turn up in a smile against my chest despite his threat of physical violence. “Where are the parents?”

  “Sorting out the insurance and repairs for Maude. She’s fixable. The mechanic said if we were in a newer model van, we’d both be dead. They don’t make ’em like they used to.” I pressed my lips to his hair once more. “She saved our lives.”

  “You two are so cute.” Cal stood in the doorway, waving a tube of salve.

  I lifted my head, groaned slightly, then said, “I owe you a blowjob.”

  “Do you now?” Cal raised an eyebrow at Alex. “How many drugs is he on?”

  “Ask your fiancé,” he mumbled. “If he doesn’t quit it, Davis is going to have to prescribe more.”

  I kissed Alex’s hair again, then murmured, “You love me.”

  He sighed and melted into me a little more, despite his awkward angle. “I do.”

  We talked for a little while. Some dozing might or might not have happened. Cal mumbled something about going to look for a blowjob and left us alone, presumably in search of Davis.

  I didn’t know how long Alex stayed there, safe with me. His good arm remained wrapped around me while his fingers trailed over my skin. He applied some balm to my lips and he mentioned something about a fuckable mouth and a hundred blowjobs as soon as I was able.

  A nurse walked in, jolting us out of our little bubble. “I’ve been looking for you,” she scolded Alex.

  Alex mumbled something about being kidnapped by a doctor’s fiancé and that he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. Just then my parents walked in. It took me a full second to remember they didn’t know about Alex’s and my relationship, and he tried to sit up.

  “Shh, babe. It’s okay. You’re not going anywhere.” I kissed his hair again and closed my eyes, gathering my courage for what I needed to tell Mom and Dad. I opened my eyes as the nurse left, probably to find a doctor to order Alex back to bed.

  Mom’s features were soft and her smile warm as she stared at the two of us semi-entwined together. Alex was still in the wheelchair, his body leaning over the bed with his head on my chest, partly because I was holding it there and partly because I sensed he didn’t want to use too much strength to break my hold in case he hurt me.

  Dad, however, was unreadable.

  “Mom, Dad?” I spoke quietly, my speech a little slurred. I was still pretty drugged. “I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Alex. When we get home, we’re going to live together.” I kissed Alex’s head once more as he tensed. I closed my eyes again. “He saved my life.” I wasn’t talking about the recent accident, but only Alex would know that. No sense in stressing Mom and Dad more. It wasn’t until Mom spoke that I opened my eyes.

  “Oh.” She looked a little confused.

  “Mom? I’m gay. Alex is my boyfriend and when we get out of here, we are going to live together,” I clarified. The confusion fled from her face and she smiled a little.

  “Oh, Josh, we don’t mind that you’re… that way. We’re just so happy you’re alive and here.”

  “The word you’re looking for, Mom, is gay.”

  “Yes, darling, I know. I’m sorry, it’ll just take a bit of getting used to, is all.”

  “Dad?”

  Alex lifted his head, probably watching the two Simpson men having a staring competition and wondering what would happen.

  “I’m sorry, Joshua. It’s not something I’m able to understand.” I stiffened at my father’s words. “But if he makes you happy, then that’s all I can ask for. Just… give me some time, okay? We flew here thinking we were about to lose you and it’s all been a bit overwhelming.” I continued to stare at my father. “I’m going for coffee.” Dad turned and left the room quietly.

  “He’ll come around,” Alex whispered as he kissed my chest gently.

  “He will. He just needs some time,” said Mom.

  “Are you okay with me being gay and being with Alex?”

  “I worry, is all. I am quite open-minded, you know. But I know gay people don’t have it easy and I don’t want that for you. Your father feels the same. He wants you to be straight, but not because of any kind of bigotry or homophobia. He’s concerned, is all.”

  Coming out had been easier than I thought. I’d expected my parents to be mostly okay with it, and despite Dad leaving abruptly to get ‘coffee,’ they hadn’t had much reaction at all. “You sound like you’ve already discussed this.”

  “We have. When you first came out of surgery, you told me to tell Alex you love him. I didn’t think it was because you two are such good friends.”

  “Oh. I don’t remember that.”

  “That’d be right,” Alex sniffed in mock disgust before resting his head on my chest once more.

  “Hey! At least in my drugged-out state I still thought to tell you that.”

  “True.” Alex sat up and kissed my mouth tenderly. “I love you too,” he whispered against my sore lips.

  Just then Davis came in with Cal and the nurse from before in tow. Cal had a shit-eating grin on his face and his hair was messed up. Davis looked the picture of doctoral decorum and the nurse had a tight set to her jaw.

  Davis looked to Cal and shook his head. “You’re responsible for this, aren’t you?” Davis asked good-naturedly.

  Cal put his hands up, palms forward. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Alex was ordered back to bed and I was reminded that I had a head injury. But he didn’t leave before I got another kiss, he told me he loved me, and he promised he’d be back for another visit tomorrow—somehow. “Even if I have to crawl,” he reassured me.

  Alex didn’t protest being ordered back to bed too much, and I assumed it was because his ribs would’ve been screaming in pain from the odd pos
ition he was in while with me. The nurse gave me a shot of morphine and Davis murmured something about lovesick idiots.

  It wasn’t long before I was out like a light.

  EPILOGUE

  Rolling Hills, Fort Wayne, Indiana

  WE CELEBRATED our twenty-third birthdays in the hospital. Mrs. Maybury supplied the cake, bought from a local Orlando bakery, and both of us had trouble blowing the candles out. Damn broken ribs. After the flames were out, Alex and I kissed in front of everyone in the room. I didn’t turn to see my parents’ expressions, preferring to keep my eyes closed as I relished the touch of his soft lips. “I wish we were in South Beach,” Alex whispered against my lips. I wished we were too.

  “Next year. I promise,” I replied softly before kissing him again.

  I spoke to Julie on the phone and reassured her I was fine. She had stayed behind when they found out I was going to be okay as she had finals coming up. She cried a little when I spoke to her, but when I called her on it, she said, “Shut up, Jerkoff, I have a cold, that’s why I’m sniffing.” She’d been staying with a friend but was eager for everyone to come home.

  Alex had been discharged a couple of days after I came out to my parents. Alex’s mom and dad wanted to take him home when he was discharged, but he refused to leave me behind. When they realized his heels were dug in and he was there for the long haul, my mom patted my shoulder, a wistful smile on her face, and said, “You and Alex will be just fine.”

  He was staying in a nearby hotel with his mom and dad. He visited every day, bringing me real food and stealing kisses, not leaving till they kicked him out after visiting hours were long over. I stayed another week in the hospital before I could be transported home to Fort Wayne with some degree of comfort.

  When we all returned to Indiana, I spent a week at home with my parents until I begged Alex to take me away. Being away from him while recovering was more than I could bear. Alex arranged for us to live in the downstairs den at his home, as I would have trouble navigating the steps to his room. Alex could have lived with me, but that was asking too much of my parents, as they were still coming to terms with my sexuality. I often wondered if Dad accepted it only because just days before he’d thought I was going die, and having a gay son was an acceptable alternative.