Maggie's Journey (McKenna's Daughters)

by Lena Dooley Nelson

  “That’s what I want to know.” Maggie’s breath stuttered.

  “No matter what the paper says, it won’t change who you really are.”

  Georgia’s strong words settled over her like a blanket, warming her to the very center of her being. Maggie wanted to wrap them around her like a cocoon and just stay protected there. But she knew everyone might not realize all the ramifications presented in the paper.

  “I’m not sure why my parents never told me about this.” How could she express her feelings without making the others withdraw from her? That was the last thing in the world she wanted to happen.

  “Perhaps they planned to and just hadn’t gotten around to it.” Her grandmother’s voice carried a note of hopefulness.

  “They’ve had over eighteen years.” Maggie wished she could just grasp the hope presented and hold on. “I’m not so sure.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. What to say? “Actually, the picture and paper were hidden rather well. I don’t think they expected anyone to find them. Especially not me.”

  Charles rubbed his hand across his jaw. She heard the faint rasp of the stubble barely shadowing his face. “It’s hard to believe any parent would hide such information from their child.”

  She heard a hint of judgment in his tone of voice and rushed to defend her parents. “I’m sure they did what they thought was best. Of course I won’t understand it entirely until I talk to them.”

  Charles shook his head. “I had always thought of your father as the most honest, honorable man I knew.”

  Just what she had feared was happening. The news had changed his view of her and her family—and even caused him to question the integrity of her father. She twisted her hands together until her knuckles hurt.

  Georgia gently placed her hand over Maggie’s. “But the adoption doesn’t change who you really are.”

  Maggie shifted to face her more squarely. “Doesn’t it? My mother’s name isn’t on the paper. What if she didn’t want me?” Once she started she couldn’t keep the words from tumbling out, no matter what damage they did. “What if she was a saloon girl, or worse? Wouldn’t that make a difference?”

  Georgia grasped on to her hand and stared at her as if she could see straight into her soul. “No, it doesn’t. You are who God created you to be. The Bible says He knew each of us when we were in our mother’s wombs. He knit us together there. You were special to Him when He created you, and you’re special to Him right now.”

  Maggie clung to her like a lifeline while her mind grasped the truth pouring into her spirit. “Do you really think so?”

  “I do.” Conviction filled her aunt’s tone.

  Agatha stirred in her chair. “Maybe He provided Joshua and Florence to redeem you from a different kind of life. That’s what God does. Redeem people.”

  “And if I were the daughter of a fallen woman, would you still want to be my . . . family?” She couldn’t believe she had blurted those words at them.

  Agatha stood before her. “I know who you really are. You are my beloved granddaughter. Nothing and no one can change that.”

  Agatha and Georgia helped Maggie stand. They pulled her into a big hug with all three women winding their arms around each other. For the first time since she made the discovery, Maggie knew total acceptance. She basked in the love emanating from her aunt and true grandmother.

  But she could not help but notice Charles, eyes distant, as he weighed this news of her and her father—his business partner. And she knew he struggled with the same question she did.

  Could they ever trust her parents again?

  Chapter 20

  All the hubbub at the Little Rock railway station couldn’t keep Maggie’s mind off the dichotomy of emotions about their departure. She wanted to get home and settle things about the adoption and her parents, whoever they were, but she also didn’t want to leave her newfound grandmother.

  Because of all the conveyances trying to reach the depot, they’d been delayed and had to board the train quickly. Since Charles helped Tucker load the trunks and his portmanteau in the baggage car, he was the last one to jump onto their car as the conductor shouted out his boarding call. He carried a large, drawstring fabric bag in each hand. Maggie wondered what could be in those puffy sacks. She hadn’t noticed them when they climbed into the coach.

  Charles dropped into the seat across from her and put the packages he carried beside him. He glanced at her, and dimples bracketed his wide smile. “Are you all right?”

  She nodded and took a quick glance at the bags, then returned all her attention to him. “Just a little sad to be leaving Agatha.”

  “She and I planned a surprise for you and Georgia.” The twinkle in his eyes told her she’d like it whatever it was.

  Georgia looked up from the book she was reading. “What were you saying about me?”

  Charles picked up one of the plump bags. “This is for you. Agatha thought it might make the trip more comfortable.”

  She put her book into her handbag and held out her hands. He laid the sack across them.

  “It’s very light for something this size.” She pulled the drawstring to spread the opening and revealed a square pillow with lots of stuffing. “What is this?”

  “For you to sit on when you get tired of this hard seat.” Charles handed the other bag to Maggie. “There’s more in there, too.”

  Maggie made quick work of opening her gift and pulling out the square pillow. The fabric of her bag and Georgia’s bag were different designs from each other, and the square pillows matched the designs. These had to have been created by Grandmother’s workers.

  “I’m sure I’ll get a lot of use out of this.” She then peeled the outside covering from a larger pillow. “And what is this one for?”

  Charles grinned at her excitement. “I’m sure your Pullman pillows weren’t very comfortable, so you can use that one when you sleep. I know my pillow isn’t nearly as thick as mine back home.”

  Georgia’s parcel contained a larger pillow, too. “Was this your idea or Mother’s?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe a little of both.” He didn’t even try to hide his grin.

  Maggie stared at him. If she had her guess, she felt sure the original idea came from Charles. She’d never known a man who was this thoughtful. He had been even as a boy, looking out for her and protecting her in school. Yesterday he’d had a hard time with the information she shared. Today he was back to his own usual self, but she wondered if he still harbored cautions about her parentage . . . or her parents. He didn’t talk about it at supper or breakfast, so she had no way of knowing. And she didn’t want to bring up the subject.

  She couldn’t really get rid of her feelings about him. Somehow she still hoped someday he would see her for the woman she had become, not just his adopted little sister. Maybe that was the problem. He still treated her like a younger sister. Or maybe the adoption was a problem to him.

  After the first few days in Arkansas, Charles had stopped flirting with Georgia. Maggie didn’t know what happened between them, if anything. But his change in demeanor allowed her feelings for him to return in full force. She really liked . . . loved him. Liked was such an insipid word. What she felt went far beyond that. She couldn’t deny it. But she might not ever have a chance to explore these emotions.

  Maggie knew her eyes were still red from crying at the station as she bid her grandmother good-bye about two hours ago. My grandmother. Only a few days before, she had wondered if Agatha would accept her after she learned the truth.

  She couldn’t have been more wrong. Not just about her grandmother, but also about Georgia. Her aunt had not shown any qualms in accepting her completely into the family, even though they still knew nothing about her biological parents.

  She glanced at the seat across from her where Charles leaned against the window and snored softly. Not at all like the loud racket that erupted from her father when he fell asleep in a chair in his study. Maybe her gallant protector on
this journey hadn’t gotten as much sleep as he needed last night. Maggie surely hadn’t, thinking about what would happen when she returned home. Both the wonderful and the uncertain.

  As soon as she returned she would have to tell Daddy and Mother what she’d found and try to learn the truth about her first parents. But she didn’t really want to think about that right now. She would work up the courage by the time they reached Seattle.

  Maggie glanced out the window at the passing scenery. Most of the leaves had fallen from the trees. Dark naked branches thrust their way toward the sky. Intermingled were patches of evergreens that soon would be covered with snow. She hoped none of the white flakes fell before they were all the way across the Rocky Mountains. Just thinking about what would happen if a snowstorm came before they were on the other side made her shiver. She glanced from one end of the car to the other, where the stoves were stoked, providing a touch of warmth to the long railcar. If a blizzard overtook them, the feeble heat they provided wouldn’t do much good.

  A little louder snore caught her attention. She glanced at Charles, but he still hadn’t awakened. She was glad he was napping. It allowed her plenty of time to study him. With his hat in the seat beside him, his hair had a mind of its own. The curls he usually tamed now sprang up, surrounding his face in haphazard manner. Dark hair, the color of rich coffee. She could imagine how it must feel, like fine silk thread. She’d like to touch the curls, at least once, but if she tried right now, she would probably disturb his rest.

  Georgia sat beside her, reading a book again. Would her aunt be scandalized if Maggie followed through with what she wanted to do? Of course she would. And probably everyone else in the railcar.

  Charles’s strong brow and straight nose above full lips created a handsome picture, like a classical painting or marble statue. She’d try to sketch him from memory after they got home. Not here on the train. If she wasn’t able to capture his likeness, she didn’t want anyone else to see the mess she’d made.

  During this trip, she’d had several opportunities to enjoy the strength of his arms and the gentleness of his hands. With him having fingers so long, Maggie wondered if he played the piano. She knew other men who did. Not her father, but a few of their friends entertained their guests at parties with their prowess on the instrument.

  Her attention traveled down the length of his body, and she felt heat stain her cheeks. Charles was a fine specimen of a man, if she’d ever seen one. And she never had, or taken, the opportunity to actually study a man’s body so intently. When her gaze slowly returned to his face, his warm brown eyes were open staring at her. A rush of heat exploded into her neck and face, probably turning her as red as Georgia’s dress. She wanted to pull her attention away from him and hide her flaming cheeks, but she could do neither.

  •••

  Charles had a hard time remaining still while he watched Maggie’s eyes sweep him from his head to his feet and back again. He’d awakened just before her gaze left his face, but he only opened his eyes a tiny slit to peek at her. For some unknown reason, he didn’t want to interrupt her perusal. He loved watching the emotions flit across her face. Was his pride raising its ugly head again? He thought he’d vanquished it back in Arkansas. This might be an ongoing battle in his life. Why couldn’t it be easy?

  Since they’d just left Little Rock today, Maggie’s hair was styled with the curls bunched on the top of her head, instead of just being held back with a ribbon as it was most of the train trip to Arkansas. Those red curls had golden highlights when the sun shone on them. He would love to see them down around her shoulders and run his fingers through them. Why was he having these kind of thoughts about her?

  Maggie’s eyes connected with his, and he sat up straighter, crossing one leg over the other. He needed to rein in his thoughts. Maybe they both needed a little breathing room.

  “Excuse me, ladies. I’m going to stretch my legs.” He quickly made his way down the aisle toward the platform at the front of the car.

  •••

  Maggie wondered why Charles left so quickly after awakening. She hoped nothing was wrong with him. Could he be sick? Should she go after him and see? She stared at the door that had closed behind him.

  Georgia glanced up from the pages of her book. “He’ll be back soon.”

  How did her aunt always know what she was thinking?

  “When we were at Mother’s and you shared your story, I noticed a difference in the way you looked at Charles.” Georgia placed a slip of paper in the book and closed it. “Are you interested in him?”

  Maggie couldn’t contain her grin. “Perhaps.”

  Her aunt slipped the book into her carpetbag and turned all her attention toward Maggie. “So tell me about it.”

  How much should I tell her? Of course, the truth was always best. Because keeping secrets had led to the dilemma Maggie was in, she chose to start being truthful about everything. “He sees me as the little sister he has always protected. The adopted little sister. I think he has a problem with my background.”

  A twinkle lit Georgia’s eyes. “He is trying to figure out his life right now too.” She shifted in her seat and took Maggie’s hands. “I really like Charles as a friend. Give him time to sort out his thoughts and feelings.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Her gaze sharpened. “On the way to Arkansas you may have seen him pay particular attention to me. I didn’t notice because I thought of him in only friendly terms. But in Little Rock I had to . . . set him straight.” She grimaced. “Apparently he didn’t realize my advanced age.”

  They shared a laugh. Then Georgia continued, “Sometimes people get together for reasons that have nothing to do with love, the real love God intends between a husband and wife. There might be a reason to enter into a marriage of convenience, and often those turn into a love match, but sometimes they don’t.” She gave Maggie’s hands a quick squeeze before letting them go. “From the very beginning, Scott loved me the way God intended.” She stared out the window, but her gaze didn’t rest on anything in particular. “That’s what I want for you, Maggie. I’m not sure if Charles is the man for you, but God knows. Just listen to Him.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Maggie couldn’t keep the wistful tone out of her voice.

  “Right about what?” Charles slid into the seat across from the two women.

  Maggie’s head snapped around. “I didn’t hear you come back.”

  “That’s because you and Georgia were deep into your conversation.” He glanced from one woman to the other. “Are you going to tell me what you were talking about?” Devilment danced in his eyes.

  “No.” She gave a smug smile and almost giggled. She wouldn’t tell a lie, but she didn’t have to tell him everything. Some things were better left unsaid.

  He placed his hand over his heart and tried to look hurt. It didn’t work. “I’m devastated.”

  “You are not,” Georgia broke in. “Now behave yourself.”

  Their banter helped her relax. Perhaps now would be a good time to have a serious conversation. Now that Georgia was involved, she could keep them from getting into dangerous territory.

  “Actually,” Maggie looked straight at Charles. “I’ve wanted to ask you an important question.”

  “Fire away.” He crossed one ankle over the other knee and propped his hand on it. “Whatever is on your mind.”

  Maggie wasn’t sure he really meant what he said, but she had to chance it. “As a man who runs his own business, if you were interested in a woman, would you have a problem if she owned her own business?” She held her breath, waiting for his response.

  His answer would be very important to her. She waited while he took his time to mull over what she asked.

  “I’m not sure where this is coming from, but I don’t mind women owning businesses. I admire your grandmother.” He stared straight at her, conviction hanging heavy on every word. “She’s using her God-given talents to make the world a better
place. Is that what you’re talking about?”

  Maggie picked up on his last two sentences. “Yes. Something like that.”

  She shifted, trying to get more comfortable in a train seat that was becoming increasingly harder the farther they traveled. What had she done with that small pillow? She leaned over and dug it from her carpetbag as she gathered her thoughts.

  After placing the puff under her, she turned her attention back toward him. “But even more than that, would you tell your wife she couldn’t own and run a business?”

  Charles dropped his foot back on the floor and leaned toward Maggie. “Are you talking about your designing ability? Agatha was very proud of your talents.”

  “Sort of.” Maggie hedged, then decided she should lay it all out on the table. “I learned a lot from her, and I really want to start a designing and dressmaking business in Seattle sometime. Do you think that would keep a man from courting me?”

  The words hung between them much longer than Maggie wanted them to before he answered. For a moment fear of completely losing her chance with him gained a foothold. If her parentage didn’t stand in their way, maybe her wanting to own a business would.

  “I don’t want to give you some glib, easy answer.” The silence stretched between them while Charles pondered what to say. Finally, he answered. “I’d need to pray with my wife as we seek what the Lord wants, but for myself, I would be proud of her talents and encourage her all I could.”

  Although she had been anxious because he took so long to answer, she accepted his words with her whole heart. Maggie hugged his words to her heart. Another reason to love this man.

  Georgia cleared her throat. Maggie glanced toward her.

  “I hope I’m not being presumptuous, but of course, I heard everything both of you said.” Her aunt laughed. “How could I miss it sitting so near both of you?”

  Charles laughed. “For a few moments, I forgot we had an audience. I guess I’m just so used to having you around.”