Witch Is How Dreams Became Reality (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 32)

by Adele Abbott

  “Yes. It’s FelineCon a week on Saturday. We had to get costumes made, so we took photos of two of the neighbours’ cats, and we asked the costume maker to copy those. We were just on our way to show Kimmy and Jimmy, and Britt and Kit.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “Haven’t you seen the posters?” I pointed to the nearest lamppost. “Both cats have been missing for a few days. Kimmy and Britt are beside themselves with worry.”

  “We had no idea,” Clare said. “Thank goodness we bumped into you. They would have thought we were completely heartless.”

  As I drove towards the toll bridge, I spotted Britt and Kimmy putting up posters, so I pulled over, and opened the window.

  “I take it Lovely and Bruiser have still not turned up?”

  Britt shook her head. “I’m beginning to fear the worst.”

  “Hasn’t anyone responded to the posters?”

  “Not yet,” Kimmy said. “Who would do something like this, Jill?”

  “You don’t know for sure that someone has taken them.”

  “What other explanation can there be?”

  It was a good question, and one to which I didn’t have an answer. At least, not an answer I thought either of them would want to hear.

  “On a lighter note.” Britt managed a smile. “Jack’s friend collects his trophy tomorrow, doesn’t he?”

  “Is it tomorrow? I had no idea.”

  “Yes, you haven’t forgotten that I’d like to meet him, have you?”

  “I’m sure Jack has it in hand, but it wouldn’t do any harm for you to remind him the next time you see him.”

  “I will, thanks.”

  “I’d better get going. I hope your cats turn up safe and well.”

  ***

  “What do you think, Jill?” Mrs V pointed to the two pairs of gloves on her desk.

  “Are those the convertible gloves?”

  “Yes. Do you prefer the ones where the removable tips are the same colour as the rest of the glove, or where the tips are a different colour?”

  “They both have equal merit.” Which is to say, none whatsoever.

  “That’s what I thought. Maybe I should create two separate ranges?”

  “Why not?”

  “I see you collected your dry cleaning?”

  “Err, yeah.”

  “Your memory is getting worse, Jill. Fancy not remembering that you’d taken it in.”

  “My head’s all over the place. It’s what comes of being so busy.”

  “Ah, good.” Winky was on the windowsill. “I was hoping that you’d collect those.”

  “I don’t approve of you leaving your dry cleaning under my name.”

  “I could hardly leave it under mine, could I?”

  “That’s not the point. How come you have so much dry cleaning, anyway?”

  “I need to get everything ready for my cruise.”

  “You’re still going ahead with that, then?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be on my way in two weeks’ time.”

  “You aren’t paying for anything until I get the money I paid out on this lot.”

  “Chillax. You’ll get your money. How much was it? Twenty pounds?”

  “Forty-two pounds and twenty pence.”

  “No problem.” He jumped down from the window, scurried under the sofa, and moments later, reappeared clutching a handful of notes. “Here’s fifty pounds. Keep the change for your trouble.”

  “Okay, thanks.” This is what it had come to: My cat was now tipping me. “How much is the cruise costing you?”

  “Not much. A couple of thousand.”

  “Two grand? Where do you get that kind of money?”

  “It’ll be worth every penny.”

  “Are you sure the cruise company is legit? I still think it looks a little dodgy.”

  “You know your trouble? You worry too much.”

  Before I could respond, Harold and Ida appeared in the window.

  “The spikes men are back, and they’ve started work, Jill.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Your ledge will be safe.”

  “Do you promise?” Ida looked at me with sad eyes.

  “Yes, I promise. You’ll be perfectly safe.”

  “Thank you, Jill. That’s a great weight off my mind.” She took Harold’s wing. “Come on. It’s time for breakfast.”

  “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Winky said. “If you let them down now, they’ll be devastated.”

  “Don’t worry. I have it all in hand. In fact, I’m ready to put part one of my elaborate plan into action.”

  “What is it with you and all these plans? Cunning, ingenious, brilliant, and now elaborate? What’s the difference between them?”

  “I don’t have time to explain that again. You should have been paying attention in the last book.”

  “You’re not making any sense? What book?”

  “Never mind. I have to go and see a man about a pigeon.”

  The Pigeon Purge men were unloading their van.

  “If it isn't the pigeon lady.” Once again, the man had the stub of a cigarette wedged in the corner of his mouth. “Fancy making us a brew?”

  “If I do, will you leave my stretch of window ledge alone?”

  “No can do. We’ve been contracted to spike the whole building.”

  “I guess you’re not worried about Headless Harriet, then?”

  “Who?”

  “Didn’t the landlord mention her?”

  “Mention who?” The man’s partner in crime had now joined us.

  “Headless Harriet. She’s a ghost.”

  They both laughed. “Course she is. And why is she called headless?”

  “Take a wild guess.”

  “Have you seen her, then?” Cig-in-mouth scoffed. “This ghost?”

  “I could hardly miss her. She haunts the window ledge outside my office.”

  “Oh yeah? And why does she hang out there?”

  “Because it was from that ledge that she jumped to her death.”

  “Sure. We believe you, don’t we, Joe?”

  “Yeah, course we do. What about her head, then?”

  “What about it?” I shrugged.

  “If all she did was jump off the ledge, how come she lost her head?”

  “There was a cart, selling scythes, passing by the building at the precise moment she jumped.”

  “How do you come up with this stuff?”

  “I’m warning you. If you go onto that section of ledge, you can expect a visit from Harriet.”

  “I’m so scared.” He made a show of shaking. “Aren’t you, Joe?”

  “Terrified.”

  The two of them were practically in hysterics.

  “Don’t say I didn’t give you fair warning.”

  ***

  Before I could deal with the horrible pigeon men, I had a class to teach.

  “Come in!” Ms Nightowl shouted.

  It was great to have her back. I was pleased to see that all of her old furniture had also returned, and the room had been redecorated from the awful black which Maligarth had favoured.

  I nodded my approval. “This room is looking much better than the last time I was here.”

  “Not only was that man pure evil, but he had absolutely no taste. Take a seat, Jill.”

  “Thank you, Headmistress.”

  “The whole school owes you a debt of gratitude. I dread to think what would have happened if you hadn’t foiled Maligarth.”

  “Don’t mention it. How long do you expect to be at the helm?”

  “As short a time as possible. I’ve made it quite clear to the governors that I expect them to press ahead with the search for my replacement.”

  “And you’ll be consulted on that appointment?”

  “Yes, it’s to be a joint decision.”

  “That’s excellent.”

  “I have even more good news. Philomena Eastwest has agreed to
come out of retirement.”

  “Fantastic. I’m delighted.”

  “What do you think will happen to Maligarth, Jill?”

  “I don’t know, and to be honest, I don’t much care.”

  “I heard he did all this just for the money.”

  “That’s what he gave his associates to believe, but personally I don’t buy it. The Core may be valuable, but from what you told me, it also has the potential to wreak havoc in the wrong hands. I find it impossible to believe he wasn’t aware of that, but the truth is we may never be sure of his motives.”

  When I walked into the classroom, all of class one-alpha got to their feet and clapped.

  “Three cheers for Mrs Maxwell!” Charlie Hedges shouted.

  After the hip hips and hurrahs were over, I gestured for them to retake their seats.

  “Thank you very much everyone.”

  “You saved CASS,” Ruby Noonday said. “My parents were threatening to take me out of the school until you got rid of Mr Maligarth.”

  “I’m delighted you’ll be staying with us.”

  “I’m staying too, Miss,” Fleabert Junior shouted.

  “Win some, lose some.” I grinned.

  Everyone, including Fleabert laughed. Although he could still occasionally be a pain in the backside, he’d come on in leaps and bounds since the beginning of term.

  Lucinda Blade’s hand shot up. “Will you tell us how you got rid of Mr Maligarth, Mrs Maxwell?”

  “No, I won’t. I know your game. Anything to distract me from the lesson.”

  “Aww, please, Miss.”

  “If any of you are genuinely interested, I can always arrange an extra session after school hours. Who’d like to stay for that?” Precisely no hands were raised. “That’s what I figured. Okay, so let’s carry on with today’s lesson.”

  Ignoring the moans and groans, I took out my notes, and kicked off the discussion I’d prepared about managing one’s finances in the human world. I’d chosen that subject because it had occurred to me that, for any sup moving there, the idea of credit cards would come as something of a shock.

  “So, you just give them a plastic card, and they give you stuff for free?” Destiny Braden’s face lit up.

  “No, Destiny, that’s not what I said. You still have to pay for the items you purchase, but not straight away.”

  “What if you don’t bother paying for them later?” Fleabert Junior said.

  “You’ll end up in trouble. That’s the whole point I’ve been trying to make.”

  As we neared the end of the lesson, I was beginning to regret my choice of subject matter. Instead of taking away the message that credit cards were something they should avoid or at the very least, be very cautious with, most of them seemed to be planning how they would spend what they considered ‘free’ money. Hopefully, Ms Nightowl wouldn’t get wind of this.

  I was just about to dismiss the kids when Sally Topps raised her hand.

  “Yes, Sally?”

  “Now that you’ve got rid of Mr Maligarth, are you going to get rid of Old Mother Mason too?”

  “Yeah!” Charlie Hedges shouted. “Please get rid of her, Miss.”

  “Who is Old Mother Mason?”

  “She’s a ghost, Miss. She haunts the dorms at night.”

  “How come I’ve never heard of her before?”

  “The other teachers reckon she disappeared a hundred years ago, but she’s back again.”

  “And who has actually seen her?” I waited for someone to raise a hand, but no one did. “No one, then?”

  “But she’s back,” Fleabert Junior insisted. “And she’s scary ugly.”

  “How can you know she’s ugly if you haven’t actually seen her?”

  “There are stories about her in the archived journals. You should read them, Miss.”

  “They gave me nightmares.” Destiny Braden shuddered at the memory.

  Just then, the bell rang, and the kids quickly forgot about credit cards and ghosts, as they headed for the playground.

  Before returning to the human world, I called in at the staffroom where the atmosphere was so much better than on my last visit. Maligarth’s departure and Philomena Eastwest’s imminent return had lifted everyone’s spirits.

  Natasha Fastjersey, as usual, was in amongst the cupcakes. “Hi, Jill. Have you heard about Philomena?”

  “I have, and it’s great news. What do you know about Old Mother Mason, Natasha?”

  “There have been a number of rumours that she’s back, but I don’t know of anyone who has actually seen her. Hopefully, it will stay that way.”

  Chapter 10

  My stint at the school finished, I magicked myself back to the office. The Pigeon Purge guys were working on the ledge outside Clown, and would no doubt be moving onto my section next. It was time to give the colonel a call.

  “It’s Jill. I’m sorry to give you so little notice, but could you send Harriet over straight away?”

  “Of course. She’s been on standby waiting for your call. Give me a couple of minutes and she’ll be with you.”

  “Does she know where to find me?”

  “Yes, she’s been fully briefed.”

  “Okay, thanks. I look forward to seeing her.”

  “I should warn you, Jill, the first time you meet her might be a bit of a shock.”

  While I was waiting for Harriet to appear, I received a phone call from Sheila Forrest.

  “Jill, I’ve managed to arrange for you to visit Laurence on Tuesday.”

  “Couldn’t I get to see him any sooner than that?”

  “I’m sorry. That’s the earliest date they’d allow it.”

  “Okay, that’ll have to do.”

  “He’s in Longdale Prison. I can give you directions if you like?”

  “There’s no need. That place is like a second home to me.”

  “Oh?” She sounded shocked.

  “I don’t mean I was there as an inmate. I’ve visited quite a few clients there in the course of my investigations.”

  “Of course. Sorry, I should have realised. When I spoke to Laurence earlier, he sounded really down. I’m not sure how much more he can take of being locked up.”

  “I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to try not to worry. He’s probably a lot tougher than you give him credit for. I’ve seen lots of people in his position, and they all managed to come through it.”

  “I hope you’re right. I’m really scared right now.”

  “Are you going to be there on Tuesday too?”

  “No, Laurence said he thought it would be best if he spoke to you alone.”

  “Okay.”

  I’d just finished on the call when the temperature in the room dropped dramatically, and Winky scooted under the sofa.

  That could mean only one thing.

  “Jill?” The pretty young woman was not at all what I’d been expecting.

  “That’s me. Harriet?”

  “Pleased to meet you. The colonel speaks very highly of you.”

  “We go back a long way. I understand he’s briefed you on my little problem?”

  “He has indeed, and I’m pleased to be able to help. I love animals and birds of all kinds.” She glanced over at the window. “I assume it’s that window ledge, is it?”

  “That’s right.” I hesitated, wondering how best to put my next question. “There’s just one thing, Harriet. I—err—the colonel gave me to believe that you—err—”

  “My head?” She laughed.

  “Well, yeah.”

  “The colonel obviously didn’t explain how this works, did he?”

  “Well, he just said—”

  I stopped mid-sentence, stunned by what I saw. As casually as if she was removing a hat, she lifted her head from her shoulders, and tucked it under one arm.

  “Is this what you were expecting?”

  For a moment, I couldn’t speak because I was transfixed by the head which was still continuing the conversation. Eve
ntually, I managed, “Err, yeah. Sorry, that just threw me for a moment.”

  “Don’t worry. That’s pretty much the reaction I always get.” She walked over to the window. “Shall I make a start?”

  “Yes, please. The workmen should be along any minute now. Will you be okay out on the ledge? It’s quite narrow. I wouldn’t want you to fall.”

  “To my death, you mean?” She laughed.

  “Right, yeah. Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say.”

  Once Harriet had climbed out of the window, Winky crept slowly out from under the sofa.

  “You’ve had some freaks in this office, but that one takes the biscuit.”

  “I thought she was very nice.”

  “Was that before or after she took off her head?”

  “That was a bit freaky.”

  “A bit? The woman lifts her head off her shoulders and puts it under her arm, and you call it a bit freaky?”

  “If everything goes according to plan, Harold and Ida should be able to remain in their home.”

  “This elaborate plan of yours has one minor flaw.”

  “Oh? What’s that?”

  “That headless freak will probably scare Harold and Ida to death.”

  “I hadn’t considered that.”

  “Chances are, one look at Harriet, and they’ll move out anyway.”

  Oh bum!

  What Winky had said was true, but it was too late to change the plan now. Harriet was already out on the ledge, and any time now, the workmen would be in for the shock of their lives. I would just have to keep my fingers crossed that it didn’t backfire and result in Harold and Ida moving out anyway.

  “Are you going to answer that or what?” Winky shouted.

  I’d been so busy thinking about Harriet, Harold and Ida that I hadn’t realised my phone was ringing.

  “Hello?”

  “Jill, it’s Amber. Is there any chance you could pop over?”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, please. There’s someone here who needs your help.”

  “Okay. I’m on my way.”

  “Wow!” Amber still had the phone in her hand. “That was quick.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Come and meet Felicity.” Amber came out from behind the counter and led the way to a table at the very back of the shop.