Euro Tripped

by Sally Bryan

  Most of that waffle had to have been at least in half-jest although I managed to establish, I think, that I was supposed to help him get laid and after that, because he was presumably so good in bed, Arwen would magically fall in love with him - An infallible plan.

  I recalled their clandestine walk along the stream. “You and Gabe have been discussing this, haven’t you.”

  “Look, all I’m saying is that it makes sense, because you and Gay Boy are a couple and he’s been complaining about the dry spell you’re going through, blaming it all on crowded hostels and your mood swings, so now’s your chance. Take the camper tonight, which leaves me and Arwen to sleep in the tent,” he registered the wine in my hand then his gaze followed to the other bottle still on the counter behind me, “sounds kind of logical, yes?”

  In fact, the only thing missing was Dan saying she’d be ‘well up for it.’

  But I was beginning to panic on Arwen’s behalf because something was likely to come to a head tonight. There would be a bust-up, bad things would be said, friends would be lost.

  I put the wine down and folded my arms. “Listen, I’m telling you this as a friend and as my boyfriend’s best friend. You cannot expect Arwen to sleep with you just because, to your mind, it sounds logical. I’ve got news for you, women aren’t always logical, at least not like you’re thinking. She has to feel something first or at least I’d hope. If you were already a couple then obviously, that would be great, but you’re not, you just said yourself that nothing’s working, so take that to mean she’s not interested in you that way. She’s your mate, Dan, which means you cannot expect the girl to share a bloody tent with you, not to mention the one sleeping bag when there are other options. Please, will you see sense.” Oh, Christ, I sounded so harsh and doubted I’d have said any of it had I not been on the way to being drunk but damn, it needed to be said.

  But my words had barely touched him. On the contrary, they seemed to have given him a renewed sense of purpose. “Well, we’ll see, won’t we.” And at that, he reached around my back, grabbing the wine and strode outside, to where Gabe and Arwen were busy tending the fire.

  “The idiot.” I rubbed my temples and pondered the options. Assuming Arwen had no desire to share a tent with Dan only left the one alternative, that she shared the tent, or camper, with me. The boys could share a bed and not think anything of it, no problems or issues and likewise with Arwen and I.

  But it was all a big fuss over nothing. The way the night was going, we’d still be drinking and talking and singing until daylight, from when the soberest amongst us, myself most likely, would begin the drive to Barca whilst the rest snored in their seats.

  I waited a few minutes for myself, and Dan, to simmer down before stepping cautiously in the direction of the fire. There was a pleasant breeze and although the temperature had dropped noticeably further, it was still the perfect climate for spending a summer night in the elements.

  Dan was standing with the others, already laughing about something and showing a remarkable ability to flip from one mood to another, though it was a relief in a way because it meant I wouldn’t have to deal further with this manufactured problem and could return to enjoying the magic.

  “Here you go, Doctor.” Gabe handed me a glass and, sensing my agitation, came in for a hug. “I just wanted to say how fucking stunning you look in this dress.”

  It was the same flowery thing I’d worn at the Pont du Gard and yes, I knew how good I looked in it. “Hmmm.” I hummed and leaned into him, feeling my worries melt away.

  He nuzzled my neck and inhaled and then I felt his lips on the tender spot beneath my ear. “You turn me on so much,” he whispered with the sweet scent of red wine on his breath, grabbing an arse cheek with his free hand, “I’m gonna go fix up the bed so I can take you without delay,” he groaned, stealing away, just as Arwen slipped into my line of sight.

  I turned away from them both and feeling a throbbing sensation building in my neck and shoulders, began to rub. It provided minimal relief though I knew even that wouldn’t last and I was about to take another couple of pills, not a great idea with the alcohol, when I felt a pair of small hands clasp my trapezius muscles.

  My first reaction might ordinarily have been shock but the wine had taken the edge off my reflexes and instead I almost crumpled from the instant release of tension as my head slowly tipped sidewards.

  “Shhh, relax,” Arwen whispered from behind while just a little further away, some wordless folk song began playing. She pressed her thumbs upwards and this time my legs almost buckled as I let out an audible sigh and it was like half the tension in my body evaporated with it. “Perhaps you’d better sit for this.”

  There was no way I could possibly disobey and her hands remained clutched on that sensitive area between my neck and shoulders as we both took to the floor. I was able to manoeuvre into a cross-legged position as her knees came to rest either side of me and then my body disintegrated in her hands as she did whatever it was she was doing.

  I closed my eyes and allowed the world to dissolve as I put all my being into feeling and enjoying her fingers and palms that were working some kind of spell, kneading and squeezing away all the pain and soreness and tension that’d built up, not just over the last few days but possibly over five years, five years of study and stress and family shit. How could Arwen’s small, feminine hands possess such vicelike strength as they ironed out the knots and tightness and I continued to sag and wilt and wane, feeling more and more relaxed with every cinching of her hands. There was a strange tingling in my feet, which I put down to sitting crossed-legged on a hard surface but then it spread slowly upwards through my legs. I ignored it, concentrating instead on the wonders happening on my back, as I hitched lightly forwards, my shoulders pinching towards my ears. I groaned and shifted as the tingle intensified until finally there was the strangest feeling brewing from somewhere deep within my belly. I recognised this sensation. A sensation I’d only ever experienced alone in my room with the light out after spending fifteen minutes inside my head, mentally visualising my presence on a desert island before being taken by Ewan McGregor as the sun burned down and the waves lapped about our feet. Whatever it was fluttered in my belly, swelled, pulsed, rocked and unfurled as I realised my fingers were digging into the earth. Suddenly, I was conflicted, caught between riding out these fucking tremors that were even now on the cusp of enveloping me in uncontrollable convulsions as I let go and surrendered entirely and remaining still, shutting the fuck up, squeezing hard and suppressing it, to demand she stop at once because, fuck, girl, you were about to make me come.

  Was it even possible to climax from a fucking massage?

  Because she was about to make it happen for me. Inappropriate much?

  And then, just as I was on the edge of ecstasy and was about to summon all the willpower I had, to control myself, to bring myself back from the edge, I felt her warm breath in my ear.

  “I think that might be better now.” There was more than a hint of mischief in her tone but surely I’d imagined that, because that couldn’t have been deliberate, could it? No fucking way! Not possible!

  And then she pushed herself up from the ground and I felt her move around before stepping in front and sashaying towards the fire and Dan and Gabe, who were apparently still here, and the music that, as far as I could tell, was still playing.

  I was plastered to the grass, almost afraid to move lest the slick substance between my legs give me away and confirm my fears.

  And so I waited, drank wine, pretended to hear the music.

  * * *

  “What are you doing over here all on your own?” Three songs later, Gabe pulled me up by the hands and ushered me into the gap on the grass beside Arwen.

  She was half turned the other way, focusing entirely on Dan as he made music, singing Cast No Shadow by Oasis, her head nodding along to the chords.

  “Imbibed too much, huh, Doctor?” He raised his voice above the sound, almost l
osing balance as he plonked himself down by my side and bopped me with his shoulder. “Well, you ain’t the only one.” His glasses were off slightly to the side and I straightened them for him, smiling then gazed up at the sky.

  It was one of those cloudless nights where every single star in existence could be seen, the kind of night that due to the clouds you rarely saw in Scotland but was probably commonplace here. The North Star was the one that shined brightest, I knew that as a child but as for finding any of the constellations, I was clueless.

  “You looking for Libra?” Gabe croaked into my ear, referring to my star sign and pointing up. “There it is.”

  I followed the point of his finger but was totally stumped as to which were my stars and even if I was looking straight at them, they were lost in an infinity. But one thing I could tell from looking up was that my shoulders knew they’d been through a treatment with some kind of flat iron. They still pained me but it was a different kind of pain, not the stress and irritating ache of before but instead, they felt like my thighs and buttocks had the first time I ever picked up a barbell for a heavy squat session at the gym. Either that or a large animal had walked all over me.

  The fire crackled from nearby and I checked my phone to find it was after one in the morning. Slowly, I was adjusting to the late nights of the continent and before spending even a single night in Barcelona, I’d already be in sync with the locals. It’d be midday siestas from now on.

  Arwen gently rolled her shoulders to the music, taking the occasional feminine sip from her glass and I watched her intently for the entire duration of Let It Be, almost in expectation she might cast a mischievous glance at me from the corner of her eye with a sly smile in accompaniment, knowing full well she’d very nearly caused a major accident in my underwear. But she didn’t. Which then made me wonder if that was also deliberate, like she was playing the innocent. Or perhaps she had no idea she’d almost brought me off? Even now her small nose and lips, her flawless skin illuminated by the flame and general outward appearing naivety, gave her the look of innocence. Although, as I was beginning to learn, this naivety was probably a front, something she used not to get what she wanted, as I’d originally thought, but simply to amuse herself. No, I was becoming certain that Arwen was more streetwise and worldly than any other girl I knew.

  Dan finished with a flurry then slapped the back of the guitar and propped it up against the side of his deckchair. “Done with that shit, my voice is going. Freya, I trust that’s two Euros repaid for the string.” He used his teeth to remove the cap from a beer bottle, passed it to Gabe then repeated the process for himself before taking a large pull. “Anyone got any ghost stories?”

  “Oh, no, Dan.” I moaned, gesturing into the pitch black that shrouded us. “Are you insane?”

  “Best not answer that, mate,” Gabe slurred, “and she hates ghost stories.”

  “No, no, you have to hear the one about the licked hand. Now…” his face was full of mischief as he was about to launch into the story.

  It needed to be stopped. “Dan!”

  “Ok, how about The Missing Boyfriend?”

  “You leave Gabe out of this.” I tugged up a fistful of grass and futilely threw it at him. “We will at some point have to retire to the trees for a call of nature, you know.”

  “And besides,” Arwen added, “you just said your voice was going.”

  The boys both laughed at that and Dan pulled his seat closer and leaned toward her. “Fine, we could play Truth or Dare instead.” He glanced at each one of us, fixing his stare on me. “No objections, Freya? You surprise me.”

  “Truth or Dare’s a stupid, child’s game but at least it won’t prevent me from sleeping tonight.” I crossed my legs and deigned to play, shuffling a little closer to Arwen, who turned inwards as Gabe moved closer to Dan.

  It was all so sweet. We could have been thirteen-year-olds again, having our first ever camping experience with friends in the parents’ garden. If only my fellow junior doctors could see me now.

  “I’ll go first,” Gabe picked up an empty beer bottle and gave it a spin. It stopped on the girl. “Ok, ok, Arwen, um, let me think, um, now, let me see, what is your best talent?”

  Dan slapped his forehead. “What a missed opportunity to get her to take off her clothes.” It was hard to tell whether or not his rebuke was in jest and Gabe looked momentarily to the ground and swept back his hair.

  “Thank you, Gabe,” Arwen shook her head at Dan, “at least there’s one gentleman present. My best talent would be dancing.”

  “Yes but we already know that. We’ve seen you. So strip, woman.” Dan raised his bottle in a gesture of cheers that nobody returned.

  Arwen stood and for a second I thought she was about to remove her dress but instead she pressed both hands into the ground then kicked her legs up one after the other, landing in a perfect handstand.

  My lips parted and the boys both came out with a “whoa.” The girl was far from sober yet here she was demonstrating her ability, once again, to kick all our arses.

  Her toes were pointed, as they were supposed to be, which made her calves pop spectacularly and she’d even managed to snag her dress between her knees to prevent it from falling over herself, revealing all. “I’m not sure how long I can hold it after all the wine, the floor’s spinning even now but on a normal day I can go on and on. I used to watch Neighbours in this pose whilst Mum cooked dinner, so I guess you can call it a talent of sorts. How long’s that now? Will it do you, Dan, or do I need to stay here all night?”

  “That’ll do Arwen,” I clapped and stuck my tongue out at Dan, “you showed him.”

  She came down, flicked the braids out from her eyes, “my turn,” and spun the bottle, it coming to point at Dan. She cracked her fingers.

  “Ooh, gross.” I leaned away from her.

  She leaned back into me and grinned. “Dan, Dan, Dan, what’s your wildest fantasy?”

  He laughed and spoke without hesitation. “Soooo easy. I’d banish Gabe to the camper, grab a beer, take you and Freya into that tent, zip up the flap, watch as you both slowly undress and then you’d start kissing and rubbing each other. Then you’d have full-on sex, or whatever the girl on girl equivalent is, as I sit close by. After an hour or two, when I can no longer take it, I’d then take turns on the pair of you as…”

  “Ok, we get the idea.” I finally made him stop.

  The three of us shook our heads in unison, having listened to that with a mixture of amusement, at least at first, before it turned to eye rolls, disbelief and then finally, almost disgust. His graphic description had brought up an image, it was just a shame he was in it, though it should hardly have been surprising that a drunken game of Truth or Dare, and one involving Dan, should have degenerated so quickly.

  “You had to ask.” Gabe and I both said to Arwen.

  “And you’re not even ashamed one bit, are you?” I said to Dan more as a statement and reaching for the bottle.

  “Hey, it’s my turn and no, of course, I’m not. Now, hand it over.” He took the bottle and gave it a spin and it whirled for longer than the other two rounds combined, slanting a few inches over the grass before coming to a stop - Pointing at me. My body tensed and he tried to crack his fingers as Arwen had before but nothing happened and we all laughed. “Ok, ok, Freya, Frey, Frey-Frey. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone?”

  “Is that it?” Arwen asked, looking blankly at me. “This is the best you pervert could come up with?”

  He tipped his bottle to me. “Thought I’d go easy on the girl, she’s my buddy’s girlfriend, after all.”

  It was an unexpectedly tame question but I couldn’t think of a single thing and I wasn’t sure if it was due to being put on the spot or because I’d lived such a sheltered, boring existence. “Nothing. I haven’t ever done anything bad to anyone.” Oh shit, I’d cut in line once in the dinner queue back at primary school but they’d never accept that and such an answer would rig
htly invite ridicule. “Nothing,” I repeated, shrugging and fearing the wrath of what was to come. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, there’s nothing.” I buried my head in my hands.

  “Because you’re so perfect, aren’t you,” Dan remarked, bringing his hand up to stroke his chin. “There’s only one option, as per the rules of the game. You’ll have to take a dare instead.”

  I breathed, “then give me what you’ve got,” I said, in a rare moment of alcohol-fuelled valour. What was the worst that could happen? I’d make an arse out of myself attempting to emulate Arwen’s handstand, inevitably falling on my back. Maybe I’d have to down a beer or something typically mature or at the very worst, the absolute very worst, I’d have to walk alone into the trees and stay there for a count of sixty.

  Dan was still rubbing his chin. And what’s more, there was an evil, sly expression on his stupid face. “One second,” he raised a finger and swaggered over to Gabe, “I’d like to discuss this with my business associate.”

  They huddled together as I heard the whispering and Arwen and I just shrugged at each other. Gabe caught my eye and bit his bottom lip, displaying the same concerned expression I’d seen a few times before. He shook his head but Dan placed his arm around his shoulders, turned him away and the whispering continued. “It’ll be fine.” I thought I heard. “She’ll be good.”

  Finally, Gabe nodded, Dan clapped and returned to the fire, both retaking their seating positions.

  “Right.” Dan again tried cracking his knuckles and this time I cringed as there were at least three pops. “You ready to hear it?”

  I sighed, “oh, I’m all ears.”

  That grin, “I want you and Arwen to kiss for one whole minute,” and with that, he stamped his foot to add emphasis.

  I rolled my eyes and slapped the turf. “Oh, how predictable, you moron. I don’t know why I agreed to this stupid game and Gabe? I’m surprised at you the most, yes, hang your head. Try again, Dan.” I folded my arms then unfolded them to take a sip of wine before refolding them across my chest.