Euro Tripped

by Sally Bryan

  She grinned, “if I were being honest, I wouldn’t completely rule out being with another man in the future but when my head is turned by a beautiful looking person, ninety percent of the time, it’s a woman. So sue me. And if you were thinking I’ve bedded everything under the sun then I’m sorry but you’re gonna be disappointed.” She nodded and I felt the relief flow over me. “So, there you are.”

  What had I expected? That a girl who’d toured the world with a company of fit, toned and talented dancers had engaged in endless meaningless sexual encounters? I was relieved to discover my fears had proved unfounded. Doubtless, she’d had opportunities, she looked like that, after all, but I was ecstatic to learn she was better than that, as if I hadn’t already discovered by how I’d previously underestimated her.

  It was a two-mile walk to La Sagrada Familia, which we began at our usual almost none moving pace as we held hands and simply enjoyed being alone with each other. We had to come back on ourselves to get there and eventually it became clear that during the morning, we’d missed Barcelona’s most famous attraction by only two blocks, which meant even more walking to get back to the centre and then another reversal would be required to return to the hostel. The perils of not having a plan, à la Arwen, not that I cared one bit because it gave us additional time to enjoy the walk, the beautiful weather and each other.

  “It’s not just the brains of men you turn to mush,” I said, risking the triggering of her ego by alluding to her earlier crack.

  Her eyes flicked up, “you’re talking about Floor?” She got it. “Yep, I see what you mean.” Oh, the arrogance but I loved it.

  “Arwen, she’s gorgeous.” A bit of a predator, yes, but definitely gorgeous and certainly with her own unique style that made her quite the interesting specimen.

  She was quick to allay my concerns. “She’s attractive, I won’t lie but she’s nothing next to you.” She made a delightful deep purring sound as she leaned in and kissed my neck, somehow managing to awaken some dormant spot and causing my entire upper body to lose itself in spasm. She grinned in triumph and all I could think was that if she could literally turn me into a quivering wreck from such small acts of intimacy then what was she capable of when unleashed in the bedroom? It didn’t bear thinking about and neither was I certain I could even handle her.

  “Arwen…” I trailed off after recovering. What was there to say?

  She bumped hips and squeezed my hand. “Where were we? Oh yeah, she’s nothing compared to you and besides, in case you hadn’t noticed, she’s presently sleeping with Luuk and God only knows what else, which is hardly attractive and to top it all off, that girl was literally throwing herself at me.” She rolled her eyes at the sky. “Some women, honestly, it’s not a turn on when it’s that easy.”

  Was that why she was interested in me, because she saw me as a challenge? During our first few encounters, I wasn’t exactly falling at her feet and there was Gabe too, to throw that extra sporting element her way. I was realistic and aware Arwen was out of my league, there had to be some reason she was into me, at least for the moment, when there were girls like Floor around literally throwing themselves at her. I knew I was just being insecure but the fears were there regardless, I had a history of not giving Arwen the benefit of the doubt and felt ashamed when I should have been exhilarated. Of course, a large part of all this was likely due to that other factor - Gabe.

  I couldn’t help it. No matter how much I tried to keep it out, he was always there in the back of my mind and whilst, for the present at least, a large part of me wanted to explore what was happening with Arwen, to see what it was like, to ravage her body, to have her ravage me, there was always that other part that hoped Gabe would appear, to stop this now before it got out of hand. I’d already crossed more than one line, I knew that. Arwen and I had kissed, more than kissed, we were getting close and comfortable and it could only inevitably lead to one place. But more than what had already occurred physically between us, we were also developing a deep connection and the further that went, the less I would begin to feel for Gabe and that was the thing that scared me the most.

  “Um, Frey?”

  “Huh?”

  She frowned at me. “What the heck are you thinking about?” And then she saw the look in my eyes and her mouth turned down, almost like she’d made a good guess and got it right but didn’t mention it, just stepped back and jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “It’s just that…”

  I looked up and there, looming behind her was La Sagrada Familia. How the fuck had I missed that? My eyes widened, my lips parted and the breath hitched in my throat. “Oh, my…”

  “Are you sure you’re ok?” Her back was turned to the wonder so she could concentrate on me, her hand on my arm. “Freya, we’re here. Back to planet earth.”

  I shook it off, blinked and beheld what had to be the most beautiful building in the entire world. Anything less and I could not have pulled my eyes away from the girl. How could it be described? Other than that the angels had decided to spend one hundred and fifty years painstakingly crafting, inch by inch, stone by stone, their masterpiece, a gift to the world, for no reason other than that they could. The angels were showing off, for sure.

  Arwen and I stood back, in silent contemplation for a long time, as we perched against a wall and held hands. I noted that thus far, it was the one place we’d been able to be together, alone, and inconspicuous, invisible to prying eyes. It was almost certainly my paranoia, mixed with heightened senses that made me assume we were always being watched, two attractive young women getting close, whilst my boyfriend, and possibly others, were not too far away. I was not usually the type to seek out danger or any type of discomfort but I’d be lying if I was to say there was not a certain element of perverse enjoyment to it all, and that I couldn’t explain. The tourists swarming around were entranced with the building’s magnificence, as were we, but I was also aware of the high probability of being spotted cosying up with Arwen by one of our foreign friends.

  I tugged her hand. “Let’s get dinner.”

  * * *

  “I can’t wait to see them in their orange jumpsuits.” The shameless girl sipped on her white wine.

  “Arwen, you are intolerable.” Yet still, I hated that the table was so large that all we could do was hold hands from across the candlelight.

  She stroked my little finger with hers. “I will make jokes for as long as I’m so hungry and the longer I wait the more vicious they become.” She snorted, evidently struggling to suppress the laughter. “From my understanding, they have form here, don’t they?”

  I giggled in turn and nodded. “I can confirm they’ve previously served time together and for pretty much the same offence.”

  “Those two hardened felons. Well, as they say, that’s how it starts. Today they’re getting into fights and tomorrow, Doctor Gabe’s carjacking trucks and making cross-border gun runs.”

  I slapped her on the wrist, or rather, I tried but she caught my hand. “You’re trying to wind me up, aren’t you.” It was a struggle to stifle the laughter.

  In response, she wiggled her eyebrows before leaning forwards just enough to expose some more cleavage.

  I made a strange exhaling noise as my eyes feasted on them. “Arwen…” the little tease. She was trouble, oh, how she was trouble.

  She sat back with a smug expression, she knew it, the little minx, and our hands slipped apart, freeing mine to imbibe more wine, which I needed.

  The seafood paella arrived in a giant pan, still sizzling from the flame. The smells, the colours, the way it all looked, it wouldn’t last long given we were both so hungry after a long day exploring. There were mussels, calamari rings, salmon, what had to be octopus and of course, more prawns, half of which I spooned onto my plate.

  “Are you sure you can handle them, Doctor?”

  I banged my fork against the table in acknowledgement of her jibe. “I’ll have you know, it was only this lunchtime that you taught me.” I
knew I’d inevitably eat heads and legs, ugh but I felt the urge to make some sort of come back. “Are you sure you’ve got enough there?”

  She was piling rice onto her plate, a total overload of carbs. “Meh.”

  “If you’re not careful you’ll pop right out of those shorts and I’ll have to carry you home.” A scenario that appealed greatly.

  She stopped mid shovel and looked as shocked as I’d yet seen her, I finally managed it, and she went for her clutch and pulled out Alejandro’s card. “You know, I still have this.”

  “I’m sorry, sorry, sorry.” I rushed to say, wanting to reach over, to take it, to feed it to the pigeons that were strutting about my feet.

  We were in one of those outdoor restaurants that were everywhere in this city, our table being on an old cobbled street tucked away somewhere in the Old Town and it was warm, pleasant and, but for the other diners, peaceful. There were several restaurants, all small family owned places that lined the cobbles and not far down the street a violinist had just set up and started playing.

  Over the flickering candle, I gazed at Arwen, the mood phasing from jokey to something else. “You were supposed to be meeting with him for dinner tonight.”

  She returned my gaze and spoke softly. “Looks like I had a better offer.”

  Something danced inside of me. “Last night, you asked if I wanted you to tear it up…”

  She was turning the card between her fingers. “And you told me not to.”

  “Does that offer still stand?”

  She raised the card to the candle, held its corner to the flame and I watched as it slowly began to burn before being discarded without ceremony into the ice bucket. Her face remained neutral, she didn’t give a shit.

  I felt a fresh wave of relief and something else I just couldn’t explain, a beautiful feeling, almost like being reborn. The paella tasted so good but then, in that moment, anything would have tasted amazing and I didn’t care if my prawn peeling was so bad that I ate legs and God only knew what else.

  “Freya, I want you to tell me about your family.”

  I instinctively looked away, down, up, back to the floor and scratched my ear. “How’s your paella?”

  There was the clatter of knife on table and then her hand was grabbing onto my wrist. “Freya, I want you to tell me about your family.”

  I flopped back into the seat and retracted my hand as my arms dangled by my sides. “Arwen, I’m not sure I…”

  “You have a brother and a sister,” she said as a matter of fact, “they’re your family and I want to know about them.”

  How did she know? How could she see so deep inside of me? I gulped wine and contemplated whether there was any way out of it, or maybe I wanted her to know, to know everything about me.

  “Your brother?” She asked so calmly, our food ignored for now.

  I exhaled and smiled warmly at the thought of Lachlan, who I hardly got to see these days. His red freckly cheeks and constant smile, his strong hugs and love for all living things. “Yes. I have a brother. He’s called Lachlan and I love him very much.” I was playing with my bread, pulling out wads from the roll, balling them up and squeezing them in my fingers, looking down, feeling her eyes on the crown of my head. “Lachlan … Lachlan’s been in a wheelchair ever since the age of nine.” My voice wavered and I glanced back up to find Arwen’s reassuring eyes.

  “What happened?”

  I sighed as a sheen fell over my vision. “It was snowing, my mother lost control of the car, skidded off the road and into a wall.” I shrugged, felt hopeless, and even though I’d long since accepted everything, it never made telling the story easier, which was why I was happy few people ever asked.

  “Freya, I’m so sorry.” The sheen was mirrored in her own eyes.

  “I barely remember him not being in a wheelchair, possibly a few vague memories running up the stairs but that’s about it.”

  And then I went on to explain the rest. How my brother had no use of his lower body, partial damage to the brain and how it had almost certainly triggered my desire to study medicine. “It turned into a thing I’d always say to him, to make him happy, that I would one day become a doctor and help him.”

  She applied pressure to my hand. “You made a promise to him?”

  “More than a promise, it was a pledge and so far I’ve stuck to it and I will continue to fulfil it.”

  She nodded, “I know you will.”

  I continued to explain how my mother had blamed herself for the accident because she’d not ensured he was wearing his seatbelt, how she’d fallen into a depression, month after month of lying in bed, aimlessly wandering around the estate grounds, getting drunk in bars, gambling at the casino, not eating, creeping outside at night onto the snowy grounds in her dressing gown and walking into the pond, my dad finding her the next morning.

  Arwen brought her chair around the side of the table so that we were now positioned next to each other and she grabbed ahold of my forearms. “I can’t imagine losing my mother like that at such a young age, I’m so sorry.” She made long soothing strokes up and down the length of my arm and I couldn’t help but feel incredibly close to her.

  “I was three. My sister, on the other hand, was six, so naturally, she took it a lot harder than I did.”

  “What’s your sister’s name?”

  I took a breath. “She’s called Lizzie.”

  She sensed my anguish from saying her name. “There’s more, isn’t there?”

  I nodded and dabbed at my eyes with the edge of the tablecloth.

  “Here.” She rustled through her clutch and within a second there was a pack of tissues in my hand.

  “Thanks.” I sniffed, wiped my eyes and blew my nose. “Oh, Arwen, I still remember the day. I was fifteen and boarding at Fettes College when I came back to Inverness for the holidays, my dad was sitting on the stairs, stern-faced, and announced that I was now his only daughter, that the ungrateful one was no longer a part of the family and that it was now only the three of us.”

  “Oh, good gosh, Freya, that’s terrible.” Her grip on my forearms tightened and it felt so comforting. “Why? What did she do?”

  I made an involuntary exhalation that came out almost as a bark. “Only my dad knows for sure and he’s never said. When I pestered him for answers he shouted something about marrying someone and running away.”

  “Really, where?”

  “Gibraltar.”

  Her eyes jerked up and I knew she was trying to think where it was. “Spain?”

  “Technically not.” And I abruptly left it at that, lest she suggested doing something stupid, like finding her. “I’ve not seen her in eight…” I couldn’t complete the sentence and broke down in palpitations.

  Arwen brought her seat as close as it could get and pulled me into her breast as I heaved and sobbed against her, in public, which was not me at all.

  “I never even got to say … goodbye … I just … miss her so much.” It was a subject I’d never felt able to discuss with Gabe, indeed, he’d intentionally avoided it.

  She made soothing sounds and I felt her hands tenderly rubbing my back as my nose nuzzled against the upper portion of her breast, her scent causing an inebriation even deeper than the wine. “I’m glad you told me,” she whispered, “and you know I’m here if you ever need me for anything, anything at all.”

  “I know that.” And I pulled myself away, to look into her big blue eyes, and as they fixed on mine, I’d never felt closer to any other person as I did to her in that moment. In that moment, I wanted nothing other than to be close with her, closer than I’d ever been with anyone else.

  Indeed, to be with Arwen, to have her be with you, was to be the only person who ever mattered, or existed, such was her attentiveness and warmth and I wondered where such a gift came from. Maybe it was solely down to the deep connection developing between us? All I knew was that if I’d previously had doubts, there was only the one remaining now. And it was that one doubt th
at stopped me from taking her there and then, here and now.

  And then she astounded me by proving absolutely everything.

  “You’re holding back because of Gabe.” She spoke with restraint, which I could see was taking a lot of willpower, because her hands were even now on the verge of becoming indecent, rubbing my waist, ribcage, arms, as everything else in the vicinity, wherever we were, evaporated into nothingness.

  I moaned into her neck. “How do you do it? Arwen, I just wish…” I trailed off, hopeless, what could I do? I wasn’t that girl. I was supposed to be decent.

  “Freya, babes, I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Her words were like sonnets from the angels. “Believe me, I’d like nothing more than to take you back to our room and just see what happens but I’m not the one tied down. Listen,” and she placed her palm flat on the inside of my thigh and I wanted to melt into her, “it’s your call. I’m not putting any pressure on you, ever. I’m perfectly happy to be your friend for life.” And then she pulled away, her hand, her body, and in that awful second I’d never felt so lost, so forlorn, so hopeless that my arms reached out of their own accord and pulled her back, I wanted, needed her hand on the inside of my thigh, and that was just for starters.

  I heaved for breath and groaned into her ear. “Then let’s see what happens.”

  * * *

  It was a miracle the waiter happened to be approaching because I didn’t think either of us could restrain ourselves much longer.

  He noticed the half-finished meal. “Everything ok with your dinner?”

  “La cuenta, por favor.” Arwen spoke, not taking her eyes from me.

  “Si,” and he produced the bill, Arwen and I both taking out more than enough money and handing it over, standing on wobbly legs and leaving without waiting for whatever change was due.

  My hand had never left hers and now we strode down the narrow cobbled alley, the slick discharge from between my legs announcing its presence, my belly vibrating with frustration and exhilaration both. Tables from all the restaurants were arranged in such a way that there was small room between them and the medieval walls, made yet more cramped by the uncountable pedestrians and it was irritating having to stop and wait for endless lines to file past. We were at least a forty-five-minute walk from the hostel and by the end I’d be ready to burst.