by Laura Iding
Surely she could hang on that long?
“Caryn, I have a call room assignment for you.” Michelle crossed over to where she stood and handed her a key dangling from a small chain. “You’re in room B120.”
“Thanks.” She forced a smile. Michelle didn’t have to know she planned to escape outside for a while. Just to take a walk, clear her head.
She slipped her key into the pocket of her scrubs. No one needed to know her plans, she’d be back before anyone realized she was gone.
The claustrophobic feeling didn’t fade. If anything, her desire to get out of the building grew sharper than ever with each passing minute.
She gave report to the nurse picking up her patients then slipped into the locker room to get her coat. Despite the mild spring weather, at night the air would be too cool to go without.
She didn’t see Luke as she headed out of the ICU, taking the opposite direction from the basement call rooms. Instead of moving toward the main entrance, she took the less used back stairwell to the side exit, uncertain whether or not the security guard on duty would allow her to leave, although she certainly intended to return.
Throwing open the side door, she welcomed the cold blast of air that blew into her face as she stepped into the night.
For several long minutes she just stood, breathing deep, her head tipped back so she could see the stars. Being outside helped a little, but the secrets still swirled in her chest, clamoring to burst free. She began to walk.
Trinity Medical Center was a large medical complex stretching over several hundred acres. But the hospital was also located near a city park in a nice safe residential area so she headed in that direction, crossing the street to the hills beyond.
The roads were noticeably empty and she imagined more than half the population lying in their beds, suffering the effects of contaminated water.
The headlights of a passing car briefly illuminated the area then darkness enveloped her once again.
She preferred the darkness, although she did carry a penlight just in case. Taking a walk like this, without fear of reprisals from David, was liberating. She liked making her own decisions.
Leaving the security of the sidewalk, she climbed the small hill. In the summer the ground would be covered in fresh green grass, but while the snow was completely melted, the ravages of winter had been harsh. In the dark it was hard to tell the difference between brown grass and mud.
As the peacefulness surrounded her, her thoughts settled on her problems.
What was the worst that could happen if she told David’s parents, his brothers and sisters, everyone, the truth? Sure, they’d be upset at first, but they’d get over it. And then she’d be free to move on with her life, leaving this less than happy chapter behind.
She let out a loud snort. Yeah. But her financial troubles wouldn’t go away. And David’s family might resent her for telling the truth. Didn’t her child at least deserve one set of grandparents? Heck, for all she knew, they might choose not to believe her.
They had treated David as the golden son. David, the smart one. David, the man who could do nothing wrong.
The truth would tarnish that image for ever.
The ground beneath her feet sloped downward and she missed a step, causing a sharp zinging pain to shoot through her ankle. With a cry, she went down hard.
Sitting on the damp earth, she grit her teeth against the pain as she massaged her twisted ankle. Stupid. She imagined David’s mocking voice, telling her how stupid she’d been to step in a gopher hole.
Glancing around, she realized she’d certainly achieved her objective. She was totally alone in the park. She leaned over and rested her forehead on her bended knee. This was what she got for breaking the rules.
When the dampness soaked through her thin scrub pants, she decided to try and stand. Luckily, the pain had receded quite a bit, so she was able to bear some weight on her ankle.
Thank goodness it wasn’t worse. Explaining to Michelle how she’d disobeyed orders and taken a walk only to break her ankle would not have been fun.
Favoring her right foot, she limped over the hill back toward the hospital. The wind against her damp scrubs made her shiver. She pulled the coat tight around her chin.
Her walk may have helped the feeling of claustrophobia, but it didn’t help her decide what to do about David’s family.
Slowly but surely she reached the brightly lit hospital. Since the side doors were locked, she had no choice but to go in through the main entrance. She flashed her hospital ID badge to the security guard, and then walked toward the elevator, bumping right into Luke.
“Whoa, where did you go?” He stared at her coat and windblown hair with dark disapproval. “You weren’t supposed to leave the hospital.”
“I took a walk, hardly a big deal.” She tried to step around him, but winced at the pressure in her ankle.
“Wait a minute. What happened? You’re limping.”
“Leave me alone, Luke.”
Ignoring her cranky attitude, he knelt at her feet and pushed up the bottom of her scrub pants so he could gently probe the joint. “What happened?” he repeated.
“Nothing.” She stared at the top of his bent head, wishing she dared to lean on him. “Took a wrong step and twisted it a little, that’s all.”
“Hmm.” He glanced up at her, his fingers still supporting her ankle. “Doesn’t seem too swollen, but maybe we should get a quick X-ray. Don’t worry, they’ll use a lead apron to protect the baby.”
“I don’t need an X-ray.” His protectiveness grated on her nerves. “It’s fine,” she said, suddenly exhausted. “I’m sure I’ll feel better after a little sleep.”
He nodded and rose to his feet. “You’re probably right.” He held out his arm. “I’ll walk you down to your room.”
Her first instinct was to refuse his help, her rioting emotions bubbling too close to the surface for comfort.
She needed a friend, someone she could talk to.
And despite her resolve to stay away from him, she was tempted, far too tempted to lean on his strength, spilling all the dark secrets buried deep in her heart.
Caryn was uncharacteristically subdued as they rode the elevators to the basement level call rooms. The last time they’d ridden the elevator together, they’d shared a kiss that had shaken him to the core. Was she remembering those stolen moments, too? Luke glanced at her, but her eyes were dull, tired.
Maybe the pain in her ankle was worse than she’d let on.
The thought of her wandering around outside in the dark at eleven o’clock at night made his stomach tighten. From the streaks of mud on her scrub pants, he assumed she must have fallen when she’d twisted her ankle.
Good thing the damage wasn’t worse.
He paused outside his assigned call room. “I have an extra pair of scrub pants you can borrow.”
She gave a listless nod. “All right.”
He frowned, missing her spunk, her sparkle. Something was bothering her, but he couldn’t help if she wouldn’t let him in. He unlocked her door and opened it. “Come on in for a minute, I’ll get you those scrubs.”
“I’ll wait here.” She stood in the doorway, as if afraid to come inside.
He wanted very badly to take her into his arms, but she needed sleep. He picked up the clean scrub pants and handed them to her. “Caryn, I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Thanks.” She didn’t move, didn’t head down to her room, like he’d expected her to. She stared at the scrubs he’d given her. “Maybe we can talk later. I’m sure you’re exhausted, just like I am.”
“Never too tired to listen,” he said honestly. If he thought he could convince her to stay, he’d give it his best shot.
It had to be her decision.
She glanced up at him and their gazes met, clung. Then she stepped forward, entering his room, and he quickly closed the door behind her, hoping she wouldn’t change her mind.
He gestured to the bed. �
�Sit down, put your feet up.”
She sat, sweeping a curious gaze over the room, barely big enough for the single chair, the small desk and a twin-sized bed. He tried to put her at ease. “If you’re wondering, your room looks just like this one.”
“It’s not exactly five star, is it?”
He had to laugh. “No.”
When she sat gingerly on the edge of his bed, he pulled out the chair so she wouldn’t feel as if he’d asked her there for some reason other than to talk.
“Thanks.” She sighed and reached down to rub her ankle. “I guess it wasn’t too smart, to wander through the park alone.”
He lifted her foot off the bed and gently began to massage her ankle. “It’s a very safe area. But I’m more interested in why you felt the need to go to the park.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I needed some fresh air to clear my head.”
“Because you’re worried about David?”
He braced himself for her answer, but she shook her head. “No. He’s in good hands at the neuro-rehab center.”
“Caryn.” His hands stilled. “You’re not still in love with him, are you?”
There was a moment of silence, then she said, “Would you think less of me if I told you my love for him died a long time ago?”
“No, of course not.” But he was curious to know more. “What happened?”
“David and I moved in together last year.” She stared into space, as if she were talking more to herself than to him. “He asked me to marry him and I naïvely asked him to move in with me.”
“Go on,” he encouraged.
“We both worked a fair amount of hours, so we didn’t see each other all the time but, looking back now, I can see there were signs all along.”
He grew angry on her behalf. “He cheated on you?”
“Not exactly, but close.” She took a deep breath, then let it out in a rush. “He was hooked on drugs.”
“Drugs?” Surprised, he stared at her. The possibility had never occurred to him.
“Cocaine. I didn’t find out for sure, not until we went on the trip to Mexico. I didn’t even want to go on the trip with him, because our relationship had been rocky for weeks. But David insisted. He loved to dive, wanted me to learn, too.” She gave a harsh laugh. “Of course, little did I know he’d spent all the money I’d taken out in a second mortgage on my house, money I’d set aside in a joint account for our wedding.”
He muttered a curse beneath his breath. The guy was scum. Worse than scum.
“I hated diving,” she confessed. “I couldn’t seem to master the technique. Every time I went down, I panicked. David liked to be in control and didn’t like it when I stood up to him. Then I stumbled across his stash of cocaine and totally freaked. We had a huge fight. I told him the marriage was off. He didn’t seem to care. I wanted to go home, but couldn’t speak Spanish well enough to figure out how to change my flight. We still had two more days of our trip.” She shook her head. “Can you believe David actually expected me to go on that last dive with him?”
Based on what she was telling him, he wasn’t surprised. “So he went on the dive alone,” Luke summarized.
“I’m sure his diving accident was a direct result of his drug abuse,” Caryn continued, as if he hadn’t spoken. “I know he had drugs in his system before he went down. Something happened, his tanks ran out of oxygen or malfunctioned or something. Here at Trinity the ED doctors automatically screen for drugs on trauma patients, but for some reason they didn’t down in Mexico. And by the time he was flown back here it was too late.” She toyed with the blanket on his bed. “Far too late for me to say anything.”
He sucked in a breath. “His parents don’t know?”
She shook her head. “They don’t know about our rocky relationship, they don’t know I broke off the engagement, they don’t know about the money he stole from me, and they don’t know about the drugs.”
“Why the hell not?” He tried to fight his instinctive anger on her behalf. “They should be forced to pay you back every dime you lost. For heaven’s sake, you have a child to support.”
“I know. But to ruin his reputation like that…” Her voice trailed off. “I just couldn’t do it.”
“Who gives a rip about his reputation?” Luke asked in a snide tone. “I don’t.”
She looked directly at him then. “His family does. And I’m pretty sure there are others here who could care, too. David was a doctor, a resident in the anesthesia program.”
David had been a doctor. A resident here at Trinity Medical Center. The news was difficult to grasp. Luke had known a few bad apples during his time in the medical field, but he was always surprised anyone would risk so much for so little.
Yet he didn’t care about the guy’s reputation. As far as he was concerned, she needed to tell his family the truth.
“I feel so much better now that you know,” she confessed softly. “As if someone has lifted a steel-lined cape off my shoulders. I’ve been keeping this quiet for what seems like for ever.”
He couldn’t stand to see her so upset. He stood, setting her foot back on the bed. Then went around to join her, the mattress dipping under his weight.
Her eyes flew open in alarm, but he simply put his arm around her shoulders and tugged her close.
“You’re amazing,” he murmured.
She relaxed against him. “No, I’m not. I should have figured out about the drugs a long time ago. If I had, David might not be lying in that neuro-rehab bed.”
“Maybe. And maybe not. He might have hurt you, or the baby.” He gently splayed his hand over her abdomen. “I’m glad you’re both all right.” The fluttering movements were back and he smiled. “Hey, the little guy is active tonight.”
“She’s always active when I’m ready to sleep,” Caryn corrected softly. “David’s parents think it’s a boy, but I’m sure this baby is a girl.”
“I hope you’re right,” he said in a low, husky tone. “Because any daughter of yours is bound to be beautiful.”
She reached for his hand, entwined her fingers with his. “Thanks for being so nice, Luke.”
His heart hammered in his chest, even as he hid a grimace at her choice of words. Nice? He wasn’t exactly feeling nice at the moment. Edgy need had kept him in a constant state of arousal whenever she was near. He’d never had so much practice keeping his needs in check as he had since meeting Caryn. He wanted to beg her to stay, but forced the plea back. “You’re welcome.”
When she didn’t move away, he glanced down at her. Her eyes were heavy lidded, no doubt with pure exhaustion. His heart squeezed. She needed her rest.
“Caryn. I think you’d better go.” If she didn’t go now, he couldn’t be held accountable for his actions. “You obviously need to get some sleep.”
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather stay.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
CARYN held her breath as she stared up at Luke. She wanted him to kiss her again. Like he had in the elevator. And this time she didn’t want him to stop.
She wasn’t sure where the desperate need came from, but didn’t care when he bent toward her. She met his mouth eagerly. Just that quick the kiss morphed from one of offering comfort to something heady. Sensual. Thrilling.
She opened for him, silently asking for more. After the first burst of heat, the long drugging kiss seemed to last for ever.
Yet not nearly long enough.
He pulled her close, changing the angle of his mouth to explore deeper. Never had a simple kiss been so intimate, so arousing.
Desire hummed through every nerve of her body, causing her already sensitive nipples to tighten with anticipation. Before she could blink, he pressed her back against the mattress, his hard frame covering hers.
Welcoming his weight, she locked her arms around his neck and arched against him. His hands greedily explored every curve of her body, from her plumper than normal breasts to the swell of her abdomen.
“Sexy,” he mur
mured between the kisses he lavished upon her face, down her neck, as his hand curved around her breast, his thumb stroking her nipple. “You’re so beautiful and sexy. Everything about you is a total turn-on.”
Stunned, she gasped when his kisses trailed lower, to the V of her scrub top. She’d never been told she was a total turn-on before, even when she hadn’t been pregnant. Had never felt like one either. “I’m not.”
“You are.” His voice was low, husky. “I want to see you. Touch you.” He buried his face between her breasts. “Taste you.”
She was shocked at how much she wanted that, too. “Yes.”
He went still then lifted his head to gaze down at her intently. She held her breath, her heart quickening in anticipation, but suddenly he raised a hand, drew his thumb along her cheek. “You look tired,” he murmured, a tiny frown puckering his brow.
“I’m not,” she denied quickly. His kisses had driven all lingering fatigue from her mind.
“Caryn.” He whispered her name in a groan and leaned down to kiss her again, as if he couldn’t help himself. After a few minutes he raised his head and sighed. “I want you so much, but this isn’t smart. You need to sleep. I could be paged at any minute and you’re back on duty at five.”
There was that annoying protectiveness again. She wanted to be angry with him, but couldn’t dredge up the emotion. Instead she felt cherished, humbled by the knowledge her needs were more important than his. The hard evidence of his arousal pressed against her yet he pulled away, tucking her head into the hollow of his shoulder.
“Sleep,” he whispered.
“But, I thought…” she didn’t know what to say. In her experience, men didn’t volunteer to stop at this point.
“Shh, it’s all right.” His mouth curved in a crooked grin. “I won’t die from wanting you. If that were the case, I would have been dead days ago.”