It was pathetic, but Hailey knew it was true. Jean got a lot of mileage out of her son-in-law the lawyer. And Frank played up to her, gave her an allowance each month, flirted with her. The way Jean simpered and ate it up made Hailey cringe.
“But she’s going to have to know sooner or later.” An awful thought struck Hailey. “Or are you— God, Laura, you’re not planning on going back to him, are you?”
Hailey could see by the way her sister averted her eyes and flushed a deep red that she’d guessed correctly. Horror and pity jostled for space as she realized just how much Laura was willing to put up with.
Laura was studying her cup and still wouldn’t meet Hailey’s eyes. “I just thought maybe… Please, Hailey, could the kids and I stay with you until I sort of get over being so…so mad at him?”
How the dickens could anybody get over such betrayal? But she couldn’t say that to Laura.
“Of course you can. As long as you like.” But Hailey’s heart sank. She was bringing David home tomorrow, and she’d so looked forward to being alone with him, to having him get used to her and the house. Now there’d be all these other people around. And, God help her, she’d even fantasized about her and Roy up in her bedroom…
“Thanks, Hailey.” Laura blew her nose and got to her feet. “If you’ll show us where we’ll be sleeping, I’ll get the kids settled. They’re sort of hyper. I just told them we were visiting you for a sleepover. I didn’t know what else to say to them.”
Sometimes Laura was exasperating. “I think you’re going to have to be more honest with them, and with Mom, too. I guarantee the kids already know more than you think. Does Frank know where you are?”
“No, I don’t want him to know. And that’s why I don’t want Mom to know just yet. She’ll tell him, and I…I just can’t deal with him right now, or her, either. The kids don’t go back to school for another two weeks. I’ll get it sorted out by then.”
Two weeks. Hailey thought about her own life and felt resentful as hell, and then guilty for feeling that way. But this was going to cause any number of complications for her. It was going to mean lying to Jean, because the phone would start ringing as soon as she figured out that Laura wasn’t at her own house. It was going to be tough on David, having a whole houseful of new people to get used to. It was going to be tough on her, as well, but as usual, Laura hadn’t given that a single thought.
How many more things could go wrong today?
For the next hour, bedlam reigned as Hailey did her best to accommodate her guests in the two empty upstairs rooms. Fortunately it was summer, so at least it wouldn’t be cold up there, but she didn’t have beds. She did have bedding, thanks to Ingrid, who’d cleaned out her linen closet and given Hailey what she didn’t need.
Hailey managed to borrow an inflatable mattress from a neighbor for Laura’s room, and fortunately, in the back of the van, Laura had the foam mattresses that the kids used for camping. So everyone at least had a bed of some sort.
Compared with their luxurious rooms at home, Hailey’s upstairs bedrooms were primitive in the extreme, but Samantha and Christopher seemed to think it was an adventure, especially when Hailey smuggled marshmallows and lemonade up to them while Laura had a shower.
“Why is there a baby’s bed in that little room beside yours, Auntie Hailey?” Samantha asked.
Laura hadn’t even mentioned it.
“Because tomorrow I’m bringing a little boy here to live with me.”
The two of them stared at her with huge, questioning eyes.
Christopher said, “How old is he? Can I play soccer with him?”
“He’s two, so he’s a little small for soccer. But he’ll grow.”
Samantha frowned. “Where are you getting him from? I thought babies were supposed to grow in your tummy. We grew in our mummy’s tummy.”
Christopher rolled his eyes. “Don’t be such a dope, Sam. Some kids are adopted, that’s what Auntie’s gonna do. She’s gonna adopt him, right, Auntie?”
“Right.” She refused to think of the complications that might interfere with that procedure. Instead, she told them all about David, being honest but not dwelling on the fact that his mother had gone away and left him. The kids zeroed in on that, of course, and they had dozens of questions. Hailey had to think carefully before answering them. There was no fooling kids. If Laura thought these two had no idea what was going on she was in for a rude awakening.
When they’d run out of questions, she was so tired she could hardly get to her feet. She kissed them good-night, took a deep breath and went down to talk to Laura.
Her sister was sitting on the living-room sofa in maroon satin pajamas. She was smoothing some exotic-smelling lotion carefully onto her skin, and she looked disgruntled.
She scowled at Hailey. “Whatever happened to your downstairs bathroom? It looks as if a truck went through it. I hope your workmen are coming to fix it tomorrow.”
Your workmen. Laura definitely lived in a different world. Hailey explained about the renovation and Roy’s offer to help her with the bathroom. “I have to do it a little at a time. Neither of us has much time off and money’s an issue. There’s a company that will come and refinish the inside of the tub, but I wanted the walls and flooring repaired first.”
“I’d do the bathtub. I’ve got scratches from the darned thing.” Laura, fixated on the bathroom, didn’t even ask about Roy. She didn’t show the least sign of curiosity or interest at this hint of a man in her sister’s life.
Feeling disappointed—it might actually have been fun to talk to Laura about him—Hailey went on, instead, to tell Laura about David. She knew her voice reflected the excitement she felt when she described him and said that she was bringing him home the following day.
But Laura just went on buffing her nails. “Mom said something about you getting too involved with some baby at St. Joe’s. I guess I wasn’t really paying much attention.”
Hailey swallowed hard. It wasn’t the first time Laura had acted as if her life was unimportant, but under the circumstances, her sister’s attitude not only stung, it made her furious. This was obviously her day for losing her temper, Hailey thought, but she’d listened and sympathized with Laura over her marital problems, hadn’t she? Was it too much to ask that her sister be just a little bit excited about the idea of Hailey becoming a foster mother?
She tried to tell herself that this was a difficult time for Laura, that she ought to cut her some slack. But it had always been the same between them—the events in Hailey’s life took second place to whatever was happening with Laura. And she felt more and more resentful and bitter. Now that her sister was going to be around for a while, Hailey was going to have to get this out in the open.
She took a deep breath and with remarkable restraint, considering how angry she was, said, “It kind of hurts my feelings that you’re not interested enough to even pay attention to what’s going on in my life. After all, it’s a pretty big thing for me, getting a baby.”
“Well, it’s a pretty big thing for me, walking out on Frank.”
Hailey blew up. “Have you ever, just once in your entire selfish existence, considered that anybody else has a life except you? That other people have problems and…and things that make them happy or sad? You’re my only sister. I’m trying to share something deeply personal and important with you here. Don’t you even care?”
“Of course I care.” Laura sounded petulant. “It’s just that your life has always been so easy.”
“Easy?” Hailey figured her mouth had dropped open enough to show her tonsils. “What the heck is easy about living alone, being in debt, working your buns off and deciding to be a single parent?”
At least Laura had stopped filing her nails. At least she was paying attention. She frowned at Hailey as if she truly didn’t get it.
“But things have always been easy for you, Hailey. You got top marks in school, you knew what you wanted to do and went ahead and did it. Like this house—you d
idn’t even ask anyone’s advice.” Laura sighed and then blurted, “Damn. I’ve always been sort of jealous, I guess. I was never as smart as you, and I just couldn’t do stuff on my own the way you did. I knew that getting married to Frank was what Mom wanted for me, and I thought he’d take care of me, so…”
Hailey was nearly speechless. “You were jealous? Of me? But you’re so beautiful, and I’m not. I always figured…I mean, you and Mom are so alike. Both of you made such a big issue about clothes and looks, and you were a unit. Oh, I know Mom loves me, in her way, but I’ve always thought you didn’t really have much use for me. That you were ashamed or something.”
“Ashamed? Of you?” Laura looked shocked and then stricken. “God, Hailey, I remember when you were born. You were my baby sister and I couldn’t wait for you to grow up so we could play together. I was so proud of you. Then when we got into our teens, our interests were so different. And then I got pregnant, and Mom said I had to marry Frank, and since then…well, I’ve tried hard, but I can’t make it work.”
For Hailey, one shock was following hard on the heels of the next. “I didn’t know you were pregnant when you got married.”
“Mom was furious at me. I lost the baby at five months. She said it was a blessing.”
“Omigod. I remember when you had the miscarriage, but I thought you were only six weeks or so.”
Laura shook her head and wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “In spite of everything, I really, really wanted that baby.”
“I’m sorry, Laura. I guess this is totally insensitive of me, landing all this stuff on you when you’re down.”
“I’m sorry, too. I guess it was just as insensitive of me, not paying attention to what you were saying.”
“Yeah, it was. But then, you never do.” There was no point lying about it. Hailey braced herself. Laura had a temper, too, and she’d probably explode now, pack up the kids and leave.
Instead, she said, “So who’s going to take care of your baby while you work?”
Hailey explained about the nursery at St. Joe’s. “I wish I could afford a nanny, but that’s out of the question.” She’d stewed about taking David to yet another strange place, but there really was no choice.
“While we’re here, the kids and I could take care of him, if that’s okay with you.” Laura looked wistful. “I love babies.”
“That’s great of you to offer.” Hailey thought it over. “He’s gonna be upset at first. He may cry a lot, be hard to handle.” Hailey shuddered, remembering how he’d screamed today. She told Laura what had happened, and this time there was true compassion in her sister’s eyes.
“Poor little guy. The kids are old enough not to mind sharing me. I could give him lots of attention. They’d help me with him. You know I’m good with kids, Hailey.”
“Of course you are. That’s something we have in common.” It was the first time she’d really thought much about what she and Laura had in common. She’d trust her sister with David. “Thanks, Laura. I’d really be grateful if you would, especially since I’m going back on nights. This way he can get used to his own crib and his own room before I have to take him to the nursery.”
She didn’t get into the fact that some social worker she’d never met might be picking him up and taking him to see the irresponsible child who’d birthed him. She’d tell Laura about that tomorrow.
The phone rang, and both of them tensed. It might be Jean. Or it might be Frank. Hailey almost let the machine pick up, but on the fourth ring thought better of it, remembering she’d asked the nurses at St. Joe’s to call if there was a problem with David.
“Hailey?” It was Roy, and her face flushed with pleasure.
Laura guessed she wanted privacy. She made her way upstairs, waggling her fingers in a silent good-night.
“I’m sorry for calling so late. There was an emergency and I just got free.”
“That’s okay, I wasn’t in bed or anything.” She closed her eyes, letting the deep timber of his voice remind her of what it felt like to have him kissing her. But then her eyes sprang open again.
“There’s nothing wrong with David, is there?”
“Not that I know of. I haven’t had any calls about him. I wanted to know how you made out with him today.”
“It was really bad. I was there all afternoon, but he finally cried himself to sleep.” It was such a relief to be able to tell someone, to know that Roy understood how heartwrenching it had been for David—and for her.
“I’m sorry.” He sounded it, and frustrated, as well. “The worst part is, there’s not a damned thing I can do about it. Shannon’s his mother—the judge will give her visiting privileges.”
“You’ve seen other kids in this situation. How does it affect them in the long term?”
He was quiet for a moment, and when he answered, his words were guarded. “The ministry feels that in most cases, it’s less damaging for the child to see his parent than not.”
Her hand tightened on the phone. “But the kids don’t understand. They don’t know why the person they know as Mommy keeps on appearing and disappearing. Wouldn’t it be better if—”
“There aren’t any easy answers.” His tone contained both anger and resignation. “There are areas of my work, as I’m sure there are with yours, where I have to uphold policy even when I don’t agree. I have to make myself believe, and most of the time I do, that we are helping, that what we do has value, that my job is worthwhile.”
Chastened, Hailey remained quiet.
“Dammit, Hailey.” She heard him heave a sigh. “I didn’t call to give you a lecture about policy. Truth is, I didn’t call just about David, either. I wanted to hear your voice.” His tone deepened. “I’ve been thinking of you all afternoon. You’re really good at sitting on laps, you know.”
She felt herself blushing. What the heck was a girl supposed to say to that? She was so bad at this flirting thing. Why hadn’t Laura taught her?
“I liked it.” She only knew how to tell the truth. “I’ve been thinking about you, too.” She had. In some deep part of her, separate from everything else that had gone on during this long, chaotic day, she’d held on to the memory of that kiss.
“Hey, that’s such a relief.” She heard him take a long breath and then release it. “We should talk about where we’re going with this, Hailey.”
Where they were going? Alarm bells went off inside her. She figured she knew all too well where she was going.
Down a dead-end road with a broken heart at the bottom.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“THE TRUTH IS, you’re driving me nuts,” Roy said. “I want to know you, Hailey. On every level.”
There was heat in his voice and no mistaking his meaning. Waves of feeling swept over and through her as her imagination careened down delicious paths.
“I’m going to hand this case over to Larissa the moment she’s back from bereavement leave, because I don’t want any business complications to interfere with our relationship, Hailey.”
So now they had a relationship? Man, this was going fast. She wasn’t sure how she felt about anything except that she wanted him something awful. She couldn’t help that. She couldn’t help the fear, either. She really didn’t want a broken heart for Christmas—if this “relationship” lasted that long.
He broke the long silence. “Hailey, speak to me. Am I out in left field here all by myself? I know I’m pushing, probably too fast, but I need to know how you feel about me, because if the feeling isn’t mutual, I’ll just slit my throat or something. It’s your call.”
This was her chance. This was her opportunity to get the hurt over with before it had a chance to turn into agony.
She opened her mouth to tell him yes, he had to back off, and no, she had no feelings for him whatsoever, but her traitorous tongue betrayed her. It didn’t have a single thing to do with the bathroom repairs, either, she was pretty sure of that.
She heard herself croak, “It’s mutual.�
�� You maniac, what are you saying? It’s not enough you’re taking on a kid, and your sister’s moved in for an indefinite time, and your mother’s going to be royally pissed off at you, and your supervisor hates your guts. Now you need a guy in your life, as well?
He made a sound in his throat, of pleasure and relief and anticipation. “Thank you,” he growled. “I was beginning to think I’d have to chain you up somewhere and do nasty things to your body until you changed your mind.”
That scenario played itself out fast and hot in her brain, and she shifted on the chair.
“I don’t suppose you’d come out for a coffee with me, would you?”
“Now?” She glanced at the clock. It was ten past eleven.
“It’s late, and I know you’ve had a long, tough day. It’s unreasonable and thoughtless and selfish as hell of me to even ask. So will you?”
It was absolutely out of the question. She’d been up since dawn, she had a million things still to do—and there was a loneliness and hunger in his voice she was all too familiar with.
Maybe she wasn’t as tired as she thought. “Sure. I’ll come for a quick coffee. I’d ask you to come here, but I have houseguests.”
“Thanks.” He packed a lot of feeling into one little word. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
IT ACTUALLY TOOK HIM only eight. He’d been heading toward her neighborhood the entire time he talked to her on his cell. If that wasn’t optimism, he didn’t know what was. He did know that he had to see her, and his reasons were totally selfish.
The day had escalated from the scene at St. Joe’s with David screaming for his mother to the usual merry-go-round of meetings, questions and minor emergencies, most of which left him out of sorts, feeling frustrated with the system. He’d eaten dinner alone, driven around for an aimless hour and a half and then dialed Hailey’s number because she was good and honest and real, and the kiss he’d shared with her that afternoon had been the best thing he’d done all day. He also needed to talk to someone rooted and sane and healthy. And sexy—sexy didn’t hurt.
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