arbitrate (daynight)

by Thomason, Megan

  No one moves. Everyone is in shock. Terrified to protest. Terrified to acquiesce.

  Vienna is staring at her Cleave like he is the devil. The guy next to her has his mouth hanging open. An older gentleman across the table is massaging his temples, likely hoping to rid himself of both a headache and Brad. A bald man, purple from an asthma attack, is using his inhaler. A dark-haired woman is staring at a picture of her kids on her tablet.

  Brad bellows, “For Gads sake, people. All those who died will get a second chance. They get to live again. Have you forgotten? That’s what we are all about. Does it really matter where they get to live if they get to live? At least they’ll be put to good use…have a purpose. They’ll be making us stronger, better!”

  Jax is the only one brave enough to step forward. Kira is by his side, her eyes red and puffy. I think she’s in shock. She doesn’t seem to be seeing or hearing anything. With a firm voice, Jax says, “It does make a difference where and how they live, Brad. You’ve made some interesting choices. I hope you are prepared to live with the consequences.”

  “Can’t you see, foolish boy? I’m well prepared to deal with anything!” Brad dismisses Jax and turns to me. “I’m afraid I’ve usurped your seat on the Ten. But you’ve shown that you make an excellent assistant. You start immediately.”

  “Wait. No. That wasn’t part of the deal.” I object. I may throw up again. “What was part of the deal is returning my son to Kira.” Even though the baby is only one life compared to the thousands that were just lost—it’s the only life I have the least bit of control over.

  “Oh, Blake. I’d think you’d have realized who is in charge by now. You will be working with me. And Kira…your son is safely back at your apartment.”

  Kira collapses into Jax’s arms. He holds her tight. “Brad, I’ll be seeing you soon,” Jax warns before disappearing with Kira.

  Brad blinks slowly. I’m not sure he has seen an Arbiter portal before. Once he recovers, his eyes narrow and land on Ethan and me. Great. Thanks, Jax. You left us behind with Mr. Mass Murderer.

  “A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”

  —Albert Einstein

  CHAPTER TEN

  Kira

  One week later

  It has been a week since I got Aiden back. A week since Brad Darcton returned and showed us his coordinated terror attacks on Earth. Ethan left to go help Henry do “damage control.” What Brad did though—that’s not the kind of damage that can be controlled. That’s the kind of damage that takes years of healing and recovery. If I were on Earth, I’d be afraid to even leave my house. Brad showed that no one is safe. That the enemy can infiltrate any place, any time, and with a variety of different methods. They’ve made Earth feel like Thera.

  Although extremist factions overseas had tried to take credit for the attacks, the blame was given to homegrown terrorists. The masses have demanded tighter security and controls, and Henry King has a concrete plan. The polls are overwhelmingly in his favor, and his election is imminent.

  I’ve had to spend extra time with my therapist. I’m feeling so many emotions. Joy for having Aiden back. Devastation over the time I missed with him. Anguish over what has happened on Earth while I have been “safely” tucked away on Thera. Fear, knowing that there’s a contract on my life. Cabin fever since I can’t leave this underground bunker. Distress at the overwhelming responsibility of having to take care of three babies. Exhaustion from lack of sleep. Loneliness because Jax has been gone a chunk of every night on Arbiter and Ten monitoring business. Anger that when Blake stops by, it’s to find Jax, not to see his son—or me. Guilt for the time Ethan has lost with Zander and that he feels so uncomfortable around me that he has purposefully stayed away. Confusion over my feelings.

  The more that I try to figure out how I feel, the more insane I get. The last time I felt this out of control, I ended up in a 24/7 lockdown mental facility in Education City—the equivalent of a sprawling mega-university offering only advanced degrees—including ones in psychiatry and psychology. I shudder thinking of my time there. I’d rather die than go back. Of course, it was thinking about dying that landed me there in the first place. If it hadn’t been for Jax figuring out how to pull me out of my self-imposed black hole, I don’t think I’d be here today. He gave me something to live for.

  Jax needs to learn how to bottle his “feel good” touch therapy into a pill for times he is away. I didn’t appreciate how much he helped until he wasn’t around to help. I’m not quite sure if I miss him for his calming abilities or just miss him, and that bothers me. I think Jax is just plain avoiding me because he knows I’ve been having “more than friend” thoughts and doesn’t return my feelings. It’s only natural that we’ve grown close after spending a full year together and after everything that has happened with the babies. But it’s silly of me to expect anything more than that. Isn’t it? Of course it is. I’m not sure I want anything more than that—with anyone. Thus, the insanity.

  I check the clock on the wall of the nursery—0315 hours. Jax won’t be back until well after sunup. Not that I can see the sunrise. On my agenda for the rest of the early morn: feed babies, burp babies, change babies, play with babies, and try to get the babies to nap. The schedule’s on a continuous loop. Maybe I’ll get a shower in while they nap, maybe not. Maybe I’ll grab a bite to eat but probably not. I’ve lost my appetite.

  A timid voice interrupts my train of thought. “Miss Kira. Master Ethan’s home and is extremely upset that he can’t find his son. He’s in his room unpacking.” Great. It looks like Jax failed to tell Ethan about the remodeled, impossible-for-Ethan-to-access wing.

  “Thank you, Martha. I’ll handle him. Can you watch Eva and Aiden?” I pick up Zander, who had been happily swatting at a toy bar hanging overhead. I can tell he’s tired though and start to rock him.

  “Of course, Miss Kira.” I’ve tried to break her of the “Miss” and “Master” habit, but it’s hopeless.

  I head out the door that exits across from Ethan’s room. Ethan’s sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

  “Ethan? I brought Zander.”

  He raises his head and looks at me with such contempt and hatred that I want to melt into a puddle and seep into the floorboards. “Where the hell was he Kira? You can’t keep me from my son.”

  I flinch. “The babies and I are targets. We’re just doing what we need to do to keep safe. It’s not to keep you from Zander. I promise. Anytime, night or day, you can just press the intercom button and he’ll be brought to you.”

  “You think you are at risk in a high security bunker? Be honest, Kira. It’s because you don’t trust me. How ironic is it that you betray me, and, suddenly, I’m the untrustworthy one.” I close my eyes. He’s right. I don’t trust him to keep Evvie’s existence a secret. Maybe someday I’ll be able to. But he held a gun to Jax’s head. I can’t risk him flipping out over Evvie.

  I reopen my eyes, walk over, and hand him a sleeping Zander. Ethan’s countenance completely changes when he looks down at Zander. I sit next to the two of them on the edge of the bed. He still smells like cinnamon and I breathe the scent in like it’s a lifeline. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I know I’ve messed up in every conceivable way. I’m broken, and I’m not sure I can be fixed. That I can fix this. However, I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t like everything that has gone down—especially you threatening Jax’s life and outing him to the Ten. But you are Zander’s father. He needs you…”

  Ethan keeps his gaze focused on his son. “But you…you don’t need me. You threw aside our Cleaving like it meant nothing.”

  I cinch my eyes to try to keep the tears from spilling, but they escape anyway. My voice comes out as a whisper. “It didn’t mean nothing, Ethan.” I take in a deep breath and try to explain. “A couple day Cleaving couldn’t compete with my demons and a year apart. I had been in survival mode for so long that I never let myself grieve or de
al with everything that happened—Tristan, Briella, and my friends’ deaths back on Earth. My parents—oh Gads—I can’t even talk about them. Everything that happened with Blake, and you…I couldn’t handle it, Ethan. I wasn’t strong enough. I went crazy.”

  Ethan slowly wipes away my tears with the pad of his thumb. “And I wasn’t there. But Jax was.”

  My eyes pop open. “It wasn’t like that. Even though our Cleaving was arranged by the Ten, I would never have cheated on you, Ethan.”

  He sucks in a breath and looks like he is in physical pain. “Well, I guess you have the green light to be with Jax now that our Cleaving is dissolved.”

  I don’t answer him directly and keep my wording ambiguous. “Jax thinks I need to figure things out with you.”

  Ethan can’t contain the sarcasm from his voice. “How magnanimous of him. What if I don’t want you anymore? Maybe I have someone better waiting for me back on Earth.”

  My breath catches and I swallow more tears. Of course, he doesn’t want me anymore—not that I was implying that we should get back together. But even if I did want that—he has found someone else. “I understand. Maybe we can be friends? Work on just being Zander’s parents together?”

  As he looks at me, I get lost in the sapphire color of his eyes. Even though Vienna had given me pictures of Ethan, none of them did his eyes justice. I’m not sure how long we stare at each other in silence, but as his gaze drops to my mouth he mutters, “When there’s a history between people, it makes for some serious complications—even in something seemingly as simple as friendship. There is no real starting over. There’s only trying to minimize the importance of things in the past. And some events are just too life altering to trivialize. Honestly? I’m not sure I can do the friend thing with you, Kira. I loved you. But for Zander’s sake, I’ll try.” Loved. Past tense. He’s right though…our history can’t be ignored. But maybe we can adapt. No, we have to adapt. For Zander.

  “Thank you. All I can ask is for you to try.” I lean over and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll give you and Zander some time together. I should go check on…” I stop myself before I say, “the babies.” Instead I add, “… Aiden. He’s having a hard time…adjusting.”

  Ethan grabs my hand as I get up. “Come back and bring Aiden with you. I’d like to meet him. Let’s all have dinner together?”

  I nod before walking away more confused than ever.

  Ten months prior: Education City, Thera

  The spiders crawled over the top and snakes slithered by my glass coffin. I desperately wanted to shut my eyes, but they’d been taped open. My heart pounded like a drum, and my breathing bordered on hyperventilating despite my efforts to calm down. “You must learn to face your fears directly. You fear death. The only way to overcome your fear is to face death and live.” My evil SCI therapist used an alarmingly calm voice as she had three large men strap me to a clear board. They propped my eyes open, slid me into the small glass enclosure, and then lowered me into a pit.

  I knew it had been unwise to be so honest during group therapy. Each and every time I had “shared” during private or group sessions, I’d been given the “opportunity” to “participate” in new, experimental therapy procedures that would make a lobotomy or electroshock therapy seem kind. Despite knowing I’d be tortured, I couldn’t help throwing the truth in their faces.

  “My boyfriend and friends were killed by the SCI.” This earned me a day in a dark, hot hole with no food or water.

  “The SCI shot people in front of me—in my own home.” I spent twenty-four hours in a room filled with flickering images of death in thousands of forms, followed by each person’s “renewal” on Thera.

  “The SCI strapped me down and implanted embryos in me without my consent.” I was forced to write, “The Second Chance Institute: Because Everyone Deserves a Second Chance at Life” in a room with chalkboard walls over and over until my fingers bled.

  They can’t get to me. They can’t get to me. They can’t get to me. I repeated the words to myself as the snakes and spiders covered every inch of glass. I won’t suffocate in here. I can’t suffocate in here. Maybe I should suffocate in here. It’s not worth living like this. My mind went to its darkest corners and my sanity slipped more the longer I spent in the enclosed space.

  A loud whirring sound caught my attention, and I watched as the snakes and spiders were sucked away. The sound was quickly replaced by that of a rushing waterfall. I gasped in horror as the cavity filled with water…and sharks. The water will crush this coffin and I will drown.

  My thoughts drifted to psychotic territory. I imagined those shark teeth ripping through the flesh of my therapist, tearing her to pieces. A low rumbling laugh escaped as I envisioned the shark’s next victim—Vienna Darcton. They all deserve to die.

  It took a long time for it to register that I was actually watching the sharks tear through real flesh. The water bloodied, but I could still make out features—eyes, hair, fingers, legs. There were at least two, if not three, people torn to shreds right before my eyes.

  Kill me next. Please let it all end. I begged and pleaded for the torment to stop. I apologized to everyone I’d ever wronged and waited for death to overtake me. It wasn’t until I remembered the lives growing inside me that I found the will to live. Jax, please save me.

  Everything went black.

  I awoke to a soothing touch…fingers being run through my long hair. “It’ll be okay, love. I’m here, and I won’t let them hurt you again. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.” Jax whispered sweet promises until I felt safe enough to open my eyes.

  “Where are we? Am I still in Education City?” Vienna had taken me there after my therapist in Fashion City had diagnosed me as having a “major depressive episode and psychotic break.” Education City was located on the East continent—the Earthly equivalent would be off the coast of Boston. It had been a quick boat ride up the coast, as Fashion City and Commerce City were twin cities whose Earthly equivalent would be off the coast of New York City.

  “We’re back in Garden City to see my dad…you are due for a checkup and ultrasound. Are you ready to see your babies?”

  Even though I wasn’t sure that I was ready to see them, I nodded. I was out of Education City. Jax had saved me from my tormenters. If only he could save me from myself.

  Dr. Christo came in and rolled up my shirt. He poured some warm gel on my abdomen and then pressed a probe against my belly until a picture showed up on an adjacent screen. He fussed around for a while seeming to take various measurements and pictures.

  “There.” He pointed to peanut-sized blobs on the screen. “Each of these are your babies. The flashing lights are the heartbeats. They look perfectly healthy.”

  Both Jax and I stared at the monitor. Finally, I had the wherewithal to speak. “There are three. Why are there three?”

  Jax looked at the screen and then at his father. “Dad, what did you do?”

  I shook my head, not being able to believe what I was seeing. “The technician that implanted the embryos told me they were implanting one from Ethan and one from Blake.”

  Dr. Christo gave us each a tight-lipped smile. “He didn’t realize it, but he implanted three.”

  “And who is the father of the third?” It came out as harsh and loud as I intended it to.

  Dr. Christo didn’t even flinch as he said, “It has all been an experiment of sorts. To see what a pure Light can produce with a pure Dark, half-Arbiter, and full Arbiter. I expect the results to be nothing less than spectacular because hybrids are rare and exceptional. If the babies survive, that is. There are no guarantees. I’ve never had the opportunity to work with a pure Light before. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime for me. Even the SCI doesn’t understand how unique and rare pure Lights are.”

  “An experiment? You produced these lives—these children—as an EXPERIMENT? Babies who may die?” I clutched my stomach protectively.

  Jax let go of my hand and started bac
king up. He repeated my question. “Who’s the father of the third baby?”

  “Who else?” He tipped his head at Jax. And then I saw something I never thought I’d see. Jax fell to the floor and cried.

  Present

  “This is really good, Ethan. Thank you.” Ethan has “whipped up” steaks, pasta, and side salads. He looks more mouthwatering than the food in a worn light blue t-shirt and jeans that hug him in a way I’d like to if I wasn’t still so mad at him. It feels a little formal for two “friends” having dinner together for the first time in over a year. But Aiden and Zander are here, sitting in side-by-side bouncy chairs, swatting their toy bars, and sucking the date-like atmosphere right out of the air. Ethan has been mesmerized watching his son. I’m mesmerized watching Ethan watch his son. And perhaps a little disappointed that he hasn’t even acknowledged Aiden?

  He looks up at me briefly, and my heart flutters at the intensity of his gaze. The topaz flecks in his eyes are sparkling, alerting me to the fact he’s up to something. “I propose a free Q&A period. We answer every question honestly. You can go first.”

  “That sounds dangerous.”

  “Says the girl who has had multiple attempts on her life.”

  “Fine.” I suppose it’s as good a way as any to clear the air. I’ll start things off easy. “Did you finish law school?”

  “Yes. And I passed the bar. Have you kissed Jax?” I guess he wants to veer off “friends” territory right off the bat.

  “No. Have you kissed Alexa?” I quip back at him.

  The right side of his mouth curls up and his cheeks flush. “Yes. How often has Jax slept in your bed at day?”

  I glare at him. “I’m not sure Jax has ever slept in my bed. Have you slept with Alexa?”

  He’s fidgeting by rubbing his fingers across his thumb. “No. How often did you think about me when we were separated?”