Facades

by Alex Marcoux

  “Do you feel anything for this guy? I mean … do you love him or like him?”

  “I thought I liked him, but now I don’t know.”

  Shelly tried to comfort Anastasia. “You may be one of those people who just can’t have casual sex. That’s how I am. It was your first time, Anastasia. Next time try waiting for someone you really care about. I’m sure it’ll be a wonderful experience.”

  It was then that Anastasia decided to wait for the right person.

  Halfway through Anastasia’s second semester, Shelly introduced her to a woman named Kim while the two were at the dining hall. Shelly had met Kim at a gay dance the previous weekend and was showing interest in her. “So, what do you think?” she asked Anastasia, after Kim left the two women alone.

  “What do I think…about what?” Anastasia naively asked.

  “Kim. I met her at a dance last week.”

  Anastasia studied the attractive woman from a distance. “She’s gay?

  “Yeah.”

  She continued to study the woman, then boldly asked, “What does she have…that I don’t have?”

  “She’s gay, Anastasia. She has potential.”

  “You don’t find me attractive?”

  Shelly was confused by the conversation. “Anastasia, you’re the most attractive woman I have ever seen. But…you’re an untouchable-you’re not gay.” As abruptly as the conversation started, the subject was changed.

  Two weeks later, Anastasia returned to the dorm after a party and was surprised when Shelly was not in the lounge. Aware that Shelly had a date with Kim that evening, Anastasia returned to her dorm room, feeling an unfamiliar ache in her heart. The pain haunted Anastasia for days.

  An uncomfortable distance existed between the two as Shelly and Anastasia walked back to the dorm after an evening at the library. Shelly did not know what was bothering her friend. “Anastasia, is everything okay?”

  It was just after eleven o’clock, the campus was quiet and a cool spring breeze caused Anastasia to shiver. “Everything’s fine. Brr, I just have the chills.”

  Shelly removed her sweatshirt, handing it to Anastasia. “Here, I have a long sleeve shirt on. You’ve got to be cold.”

  “No thank you.” Anastasia abrasively pushed the sweatshirt away.

  “Anastasia, have I done something wrong? Why do I feel like you’re upset with me?”

  Ignoring the question, Anastasia continued her walk toward the dorm in silence.

  “Anastasia?” Shelly pulled her arm to stop her in place.

  Abruptly, Anastasia turned toward her friend. The two looked into each other’s eyes momentarily. Anastasia kissed Shelly lightly on the lips then quickly withdrew. Silence remained between the two women. Shelly noticed her friend was shivering, so she draped her sweatshirt over Anastasia’s shoulders. Then she pulled the shirt arms in front of her, gently tying them over Anastasia’s breasts.

  Searching Anastasia’s eyes, Shelly calmly asked, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

  “Why are you so quick to discard me?” Anastasia cried. “Is it because I’m black?”

  Shelly gently moved the hair away from Anastasia’s face. She could see the anguish in her friend’s eyes. Cautiously she approached Anastasia and kissed her gently. Shelly could feel Anastasia respond to her touch and continued to kiss her with more urgency. As Anastasia’s heartbeat quickened, an unfamiliar ache developed in her body.

  Shelly could feel Anastasia shiver. She withdrew and looked into Anastasia’s eyes. “I had no idea.”

  For the remainder of the semester, Anastasia struggled with her feelings for Shelly. But when she realized her feelings were sincere and loving, she knew that God would not disapprove.

  Anastasia and Shelly’s relationship lasted for about a year. Then, Shelly moved to Africa for a Peace Corps position after she graduated. The two women continued to write to each other for about six months, then Anastasia’s letters were returned, stamped “Moved-no forwarding address.” She waited anxiously for another letter, but it never came.

  Anastasia’s studies remained her top priority in her junior and senior years. But to help with college expenses, she performed as the lead singer for a local pop band. Her schedule was demanding and consequently her visits to Richmond became infrequent.

  After Anastasia graduated, she returned to her parents’ home. While living under their roof she respected their way of life. However, her parents’ views regarding homosexuality made her uncomfortable. A couple months after she returned from school, the subject surfaced during dinner one evening. Anastasia was surprised at how anti-gay her father appeared, and in anger she defended a person’s choice of who they love. To Anastasia’s surprise, she blurted to her parents that she was a lesbian. In anger, her father started quoting biblical verses reiterating the evils of homosexuality. In the weeks to come, it became clear that Luther Hall could not accept the fact that his daughter was a lesbian. An ultimatum was given to Anastasia: go straight, or leave home.

  During Anastasia’s school years, she realized her dream was to sing. She believed a move to New York City would give her an opportunity to explore this vision. With her life savings, Anastasia took a studio apartment in Greenwich Village. She realized there were limited opportunities for someone with a bachelor’s degree in music, so she quickly found a job tending bar at a neighborhood bar and grill.

  In her free time she searched the classified ads for auditions. By the time Anastasia responded to a vocalist-needed ad for a rock band, she had become accustomed to rejection. The four-piece band included a female lead singer, and apparently was searching for an additional vocalist. The lead singer, Stephanie, provided Anastasia with music to review before the tryout. During the audition Anastasia started singing the lead vocals rather than backup vocals. Other band members were surprised that Stephanie did not halt the audition. Rather, Stephanie listened intently to Anastasia’s voice and thought, Such a powerful voice for a feminine woman…and excellent stage presence. Although Stephanie knew Anastasia’s performance would overshadow her own, she recognized Anastasia was incredibly talented.

  Stephanie was far from stupid. Anastasia was hired as the lead singer. Although Stephanie remained a band member, she concentrated on writing new songs and managing the group. When Stephanie learned that Anastasia was gay, she aggressively pursued her and eventually the two became lovers.

  The band worked the club circuit for about a year before they got a break. They made a demo that was circulated to many recording companies, and the group was excited when they heard from a Global Records A&R man. During a telephone conversation with Stephanie, Jerry Benson advised that he would be at the Limelight the following Friday night when they were scheduled to perform.

  Before the performance, Anastasia felt butterflies in her stomach and the rest of the group seemed equally nervous. Anastasia was aware that this performance could launch their career, and she felt responsible for the group. She sang beautifully, yet displayed a very subtle seductive style for the audience. Although her performance was truly extraordinary, the sensual aspects were unique and after the show Stephanie and the other band members were cross with her. Quickly, they ate their words when Jerry Benson expressed interest in her performance.

  Global Records was interested in Anastasia but not the group. Although Stephanie appeared to be a good sport, she was quick to remind Anastasia where she would be without her, and that she had written the songs that got Global Records’ attention. Stephanie was happy to accept Anastasia’s offer to write music for her and become her road assistant.

  A year later Anastasia’s first album was released. The title track, “I’m Here to Stay,” rose to the top and remained number one for 10 weeks. Two other songs on the album also became hits. Anastasia wrote the majority of the songs while Stephanie wrote two. Anastasia’s music style was unique, crossing between rock and R&B, and her stage presence was often sensual and even provocative. Global Records and her personal manage
r, Jeffrey Simon, were eager to exploit her assets, especially her looks.

  When the Grammy Award nominations were announced the following year, Jeffrey Simon along with Jerry Benson and David Jacobs of Global Records celebrated. Anastasia had been nominated for Best New Artist, Album of the Year and Best Female Pop Vocalist. Later that year, Anastasia took all three awards.

  Two years after her first album, Lovers was released. The sophomore album out-performed her first. She had a successful tour and produced three successful videos. The following year she earned four additional Grammy Awards for Lovers. Global Records and her manager had been successful in marketing Anastasia as a sex goddess and every man’s fantasy. Although she frequently felt she was deceiving her fans, she admitted to herself, It sells records.

  Two years later her third album debuted, but it was a disappointment. Stephanie had written the majority of the songs and the music and lyrics were harder than the first two albums. Anastasia was unable to deliver a sincere performance since the majority of the songs’ subjects were foreign to Anastasia.

  Almost eighteen months passed and Anastasia was having trouble pulling everything together. The record company was pressuring her to produce another album. Stephanie insinuated that Anastasia’s writing had become weak over the years, and compelled her to produce only Stephanie’s songs.

  Anastasia was also starting to realize that Stephanie was becoming a liability. In public, she would not hesitate to discuss their life together as a couple. Initially the indiscretions did not bother Anastasia, then she realized that the publicity could not only hurt her, but also destroy her career.

  One day, Anastasia’s manager stormed into the recording studio. “When the hell are you going to get down to business?” Jeffrey’s face was red with anger.

  Anastasia halted the recording session. “Excuse me? What the hell do you think we’re doing?”

  “I think you’re blowing it.” Jeffrey glared at Anastasia in rage. “You haven’t recorded anything worth a damn in five years. Global’s not interested in working with you, agents aren’t interested in booking you this year. Why? Everyone is getting tired of seeing Steph kiss your ass. You’re blowing it, Anastasia.”

  He pulled out a handful of envelopes, apparently fan letters, and started reading excerpts from some of them. “Dyke go home …” He threw the letter at Anastasia then started reading from a postcard. “You just haven’t had a real man …” Jeffrey threw it at Anastasia and pulled out another, and another. “Repent or God will punish you….You’re a lie to your fans, you should be punished.”

  Jeffrey threw the remaining envelopes at Anastasia. “My contract is up in six months. Unless you can pull yourself out of the toilet, I’m out of here. You’re not taking me down with you.”

  Stephanie watched the whole scene and, after Jeffrey left, she said, “Good, let him go, who needs him?”

  “I’m going to call Jerry and find out how bad it really is.” Anastasia calmly left the recording session.

  Anastasia learned that it was bad. The record company’s confidence in her was shaken and most believed she was going to crash. For the first time in her life, Anastasia felt helpless and did not know where to turn. Her manager and A&R person seemed to have given up on her, and her relationship with Stephanie was not healthy. However, she refused to believe her career was over at the age of 31.

  Over the years, Stephanie mastered reminding Anastasia where she would be without her. Consequently, Anastasia lost confidence in her music. In her mind, her last album was a loser, and it had been years since she’d recorded successful music. Both Stephanie and Anastasia knew their relationship was not perfect, but both recognized they needed each other.

  Over the next few months, Anastasia worked hard to turn her luck around. She spent most of her time in recording studios working on the next album, but never felt she was making significant progress.

  She was surprised when David Jacobs of Global Records called her at home one evening. “I understand that Jeffrey’s contract is up in a month or so. I’ve heard the two of you are considering parting. Is that true?”

  “We’ve talked about going our separate ways,” Anastasia admitted.

  “Can I offer some advice?”

  “Sure,” Anastasia reluctantly agreed.

  “You need to make some decisions about where to go from here. If you’re serious about maintaining your status as a superstar, you need the absolute best manager.” David continued, “If you’re still serious, I’ll try to get an appointment with the best manager in the business.”

  “Who are you talking about?”

  “Sidney Marcum, she manages the Gang and Jason Light.”

  Anastasia was not impressed. “I’m familiar with her company, but-“

  “Let me put it this way, I don’t know any other manager who can get your career back on track.”

  “Assuming I work out a deal with a new manager, will Global release some funds so I can start doing some things?”

  “You need to show us that you’re in control of your career, and make some commercially satisfying music before Global commits any further. But without a solid manager, you’ll get nothing. Shall I set up a meeting between you and Sidney?”

  Later that evening, Anastasia told Stephanie about her conversation regarding Sidney Marcum. Stephanie told Anastasia, “I’ll do some research on Marcum Productions.”

  Chapter 6

  Natalie and Nelson were surprised by Sidney’s decision to take over Anastasia’s management. Both had learned, however, not to question her decisions and showed their support. Sidney called a staff meeting the following Monday to discuss the new assignments.

  To her staff, Sidney identified key areas that needed to be resolved over the first six months. One of the key issues was the lack of cooperation from Global Records. An artist bound to a record company that was unwilling to release her music was worthless. Sidney also recognized that a complete retraction from the New Jersey Gazette was essential if Anastasia was to reclaim her superstar status. Another matter that needed to be resolved was Anastasia’s concert bookings. Apparently the agents were not interested in booking her.

  Sidney identified the issues to her staff, one by one. She never addressed how the issues would be remedied, only how significant their defeat would be to her marketing plan.

  Natalie and Sidney had been working for hours at the office. “Natalie, would you schedule a recording session with Anastasia? I want to hear her new material. Then call Antoine’s and get on his schedule for a photo shoot.”

  Natalie studied the office then her friend, and surmised that Sidney had been putting in extra hours. “You’ve really put yourself out on the limb for this one, haven’t you?”

  “Well, let’s just say I haven’t chosen the easier path. You know I get bored when I don’t have a good challenge.”

  “Well…I’m going to be leaving, do you need anything else, Sid?” Sidney had noticed that Natalie had been leaving work on time lately. She also noticed that Natalie had been more cheerful than usual.

  “Hot date?” Sidney asked her friend.

  Natalie smiled. “Sort of.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Karen,” she answered. “We’ve been seeing each other for about a month now. I’d rather not say too much; I don’t want to jinx a good relationship.”

  “It’s been a long time since you’ve smiled like that around here. You have such a beautiful smile. I’m glad to see you’re happy, Nat.”

  Natalie gave Sidney a hug. “Thanks, we’ll have to work on your happiness next.”

  “I am happy, Nat.”

  David Jacobs had not been surprised when Sidney called his office and demanded to meet him for lunch at the Russian Tea Room. “Sidney, you look great,” he said as they embraced.

  “I see the years have been good to you.” They exchanged small talk, then Sidney got down to business. “I’m sure you’ve heard; I’ve taken over Anastasia’s managemen
t.”

  He nodded. “Yes, I have heard.”

  “I understand that Anastasia is under contract for one more album. Jerry told me that Global has no intention of releasing the album, and I hear the funds are gone for her promotions. Is it true?”

  He nodded again. “Sid, Global has taken too many chances on Anastasia. She hasn’t been very profitable the last year or so. I’ve heard her new stuff is just like her last album, which was a major disappointment. Anastasia has become too much of a risk. It’s time to put our money in some more viable option. I’m not saying we’ll never release her album-just not until things smooth over.”

  “David, you were the one who pleaded with me to take over her management. Weren’t you?”

  “Yes, and I believe you are the best person for the job. Your timing is just impeccably bad.”

  “I’m going to ask you for a favor, David.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Replenish her operating budget and promise to release her work in a timely fashion.”

  “I’m sorry Sid, but I just can’t do that.”

  “Then release her from her contract obligations,” demanded Sidney.

  “You know I can’t do that, either.” He was smiling.

  Sidney stared at her former boss. “David, either work with me on a new album, release her from her contract, or-“

  “Or what?” he asked smugly.

  There was a chill to her tone as she spoke. “Or I’ll drag your ass to court.”

  “On what grounds?”

  “Courts don’t like it when you interfere with an individual’s livelihood. I even have some case law that supports the premise.”

  David was curious. “What case law?”

  “Remember the artist Larry Coryell?” Sidney pulled out her notebook for reference. “The New York case noted that courts ‘look critically on provisions which restrict the employee in his right to earn a livelihood by imposing unreasonable restrictions on his activities.’ You won’t let Anastasia go, but you won’t release her album. Don’t you think those restraints are unreasonable and harsh?”