by Alex Marcoux
Anastasia smiled warmly. “You’re welcome. I guess this means we’re even.”
Sidney finally smiled.
The two women sat quietly for a long time, enjoying the fire, snacks and wine.
“Oh, I almost forgot. I have your pendant in my jacket.” Anastasia rose and went to the hall closet. Moments later she returned to Sidney. As she opened her hand she could not help but admire the gold pendant. “It’s beautiful. Very unusual,” she said, as she held it up to inspect it. “What is it?”
Sidney stared at the ankh she had worn since Gary passed away. “It’s called an ankh.”
“An ankh? What does it symbolize?”
“Life.”
“It’s unusual. What’s its origin?”
“Egyptian. I believe ancient Egyptian,” Sidney answered.
Egyptian?
Sidney took the pendant and set it on the table. “I probably shouldn’t wear it until the sling comes off.”
After Sidney’s second glass of wine, she decided to get ready for bed. With a sling on her left arm and cast on her right leg she attempted to get up. Although the recliner was not in the recline position, the chair was angled enough to make rising impossible.
“Where are you going?”
“I want to get ready for bed,” Sidney said as she tried to wiggle forward in the chair.
“Here, let me help you.” Anastasia moved to Sidney’s right side and tried to help her up, but her leverage was not good enough.
“This won’t work.” Carefully, she moved in front of Sidney, avoiding the injured leg. She leaned forward and wrapped her left arm around Sidney’s back. “Put your arm around my neck,” she instructed Sidney.
Sidney obeyed, and Anastasia was able to lever her to a standing position, face to face. For a moment, as Anastasia held Sidney close, steadying her, their eyes met and their hearts connected.
Sidney was the first to divert her eyes, grounding herself from the intimate connection. What the hell am I doing? She scolded herself. Anastasia released her hold, and Sidney reached for her crutch and hobbled toward the bathroom.
“Here, let me help,” Anastasia said. But as she took hold of her arm she could feel Sidney’s body tense.
Sidney closed the bathroom door behind her and Anastasia leaned against the door, lost in her thoughts. My God. I know I’ve looked into those eyes before….Egypt? I can’t believe it. I’ve fallen in love with an untouchable. Last time I was the untouchable.
On the other side of the door, Sidney ran cool water from the faucet. She splashed the water on her face, then wiped her face with the towel. She studied her eyes in the mirror’s reflection. I can’t let her into my space. She’s too dangerous.
Chapter 24
Sidney and Anastasia decided to extend their visit in Vail until after New Year’s. The extra days of rest helped Sidney’s healing. During the week, Sidney encouraged Anastasia to ski, but she chose to work on some music she had put on hold. The week went by fast. Soon, Sidney’s shoulder felt better, and she was able to get around more easily.
On New Year’s Eve morning, Sidney approached Anastasia. ‘You’ve been such a good sport this week. Can I treat you to dinner tonight? I have reservations at Latour’s.”
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather just stay in. I have the makings for a gourmet meal; can you handle it?”
“Are you sure? You’ve been cooking all week.” Sidney was surprised.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I actually enjoy cooking, and I don’t get the chance very often.”
Anastasia prepared filet mignon and lobster tails. The dinner was prepared to perfection and impressed Sidney. After dinner, the two retired to the great room.
“I’ve been working on some new music,” Anastasia announced. “Would you like to hear it?”
“Sure.”
Anastasia picked up the old guitar and played “My Untouchable.”
Do you know who I am?
I’ve come to you in your dreams,
I’ve loved you on a different dimension.
But as I sit here, looking at you, I can’t help but wonder if you can see who I really am.
Can you see beyond my façade?
My veil? My disguise?
Or do you just see me as your friend, your partner in crime.
Do you know who I am?
I’ve kissed your sweet lips and held your heart so close but in another time, in another place, in another reality.
But here, things are not so clear.
The fuzziness clouds our minds.
And here, I am not who I appear.
I’m a façade and you’re my untouchable.
Here, I’m your friend, and our friendship means everything.
I would never risk losing it.
Here, life’s complications stop our reuniting.
You’re my untouchable and to you, I’m trivial.
Do you know who I am?
I have been with you before.
Don’t you remember our promise?
We’d meet here, as before.
Don’t you recognize me?
Can’t you see it in my eyes?
Don’t you remember my spirit?
Don’t be fooled by my disguise.
Here, it is hard; this blessing is a curse.
I can’t have you, my love. You’re my untouchable.
Look into my eyes, the windows to my soul.
If you still cannot see it, you’ll remain my untouchable.
I will find you again, next time.
And then, I pray you’ll remember me.
I’ll keep searching until we reunite.
That’s my promise to you.
Until then you’ll remain my untouchable.
Sidney remained silent and thoughtful. “So you believe in reincarnation?” she finally asked.
“Yeah, I do. More so than the alternatives, you know-heaven and hell. How about you?” Anastasia asked.
“Haven’t given it much thought,” Sidney lied. The song is very good. “The song is good. Maybe you should get stranded in Vail more often.”
“I’ve been working on it for a while now. I just needed the quiet time to finish it.” Anastasia continued playing the guitar, listening intently to each chord. “This guitar has a good sound and feel.” She continued strumming the strings of the instrument. In Sidney’s mind, the music changed from its contemporary style to a more traditional love song. Each note bringing Sidney back to a different time and place …
*
It was the Saturday before Sidney and Charlotte’s fifth-year anniversary, and Charlotte was strumming the guitar on the shore-house porch. Justin was playing with his Matchbox cars in the great room, and Sidney watched him from the porch as she worked at a table.
Charlotte finished the love song and sat at the table next to Sidney. “Guess what week this is?”
“I don’t know,” Sidney lied. “What week is it?”
“You don’t know?” Charlotte smiled. “Anything special about Friday?”
“Is it payday?” Charlotte pouted and Sidney laughed. “It’s hard to believe we’ve been together five years.”
“What do you want to do to celebrate?” Charlotte asked.
“Be with you.”
“I have that conference in Boston this week. I leave on Tuesday and return on Friday morning. Want to meet for lunch?” Charlotte asked.
“You coming into the city?”
“Sure, we can meet at Nat’s.” Charlotte suggested her favorite Italian restaurant. “Then, I can kidnap you for the weekend. JP will be with his father next weekend.”
Sidney smiled at the idea. “Where are you going to take me?”
“It’s a surprise.” Charlotte tried to sound mysterious.
“I’m game, what do I pack?”
“I’ll make the arrangements and let you know later.” Charlotte examined what Sidney was working on. “What are you doing?”
“I’m writing a help-wanted ad for a road
manager. I’m going to need someone new for Jason Light.”
Charlotte paused. “Why don’t you talk with Natalie about the position?”
“I’d love to, but the two of you haven’t spoken in over a year. I don’t want to put anyone in an uncomfortable position.”
“Let me call her and see how she’s doing. Can you hold off on the ad a week?”
“I’ll wait.” Sidney looked into the great room and saw Justin’s back to them. She leaned over to steal a kiss from Charlotte. “Thanks.”
“For what?” Charlotte asked.
“For making an effort with Natalie.”
As Justin got older, Sidney and Charlotte chose not to show their affection in front of him. Sidney feared that if Michael found out, he would cause problems. Although Sidney knew she would eventually need to tell Justin, she wanted him to be old enough to understand her choice.
For months, Sidney had pondered the perfect gift for Charlotte to celebrate their fifth year together. She decided on a ring to symbolize their commitment to each other. Previously, Sidney had opposed union ceremonies. They seemed irrelevant to her, since there was no societal recognition. However, over the years, she knew that Charlotte wanted a union and now she realized that she was ready.
Wherever Charlie takes me this weekend, she decided, I’ll be ready, and I’ll propose to her. Then we can have our own private ceremony. The more Sidney thought about the weekend, the more excited she became.
Charlotte left Tuesday night for Boston. Sidney had been given specific instructions about what she should pack. She planned to take the train into the city that Friday; Charlotte would drive into the city from the airport, and meet her at the restaurant. Charlotte told her they would return to the shore by three o’clock Sunday afternoon. That was all the information Charlotte gave her.
On Wednesday, Sidney picked up an attractive diamond-laced wedding band from the jewelers.
Thursday night, Charlotte gave Sidney some last-minute instructions. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Noon at Nat’s. I love you, Sid.”
“I love you too, Charlie.”
As Sidney walked toward the restaurant, she caught herself smiling in the glass reflection of the many stores she passed. She knew she had been blessed with Justin and Charlotte, and felt warmth in her heart at the thought of her family. As she ventured toward the restaurant, she experienced an overwhelming sense of gratitude for her relationship with Charlotte. To her surprise, she wiped a tear from her eyes, then thought, It must be from the bitter wind. It was cold, and Sidney pulled her coat collar around her face to protect it from the wind.
She was a block away from the restaurant when she saw Charlotte walking on the opposite side of the street. She stared at Charlotte and smiled. She’s approaching forty-five, and she looks great. Sidney watched her walk along the busy street for a few minutes and realized she had no reservations about their weekend or about the union.
“Hey Charlie,” Sidney yelled.
Charlotte turned and smiled back at Sidney across the busy street. “Hi stranger,” she called back. The two walked parallel to each other on opposite sides of the street, approaching an intersection. Charlotte stood at the light waiting for the traffic signal to change, while Sidney stood in front of the restaurant. When Charlotte realized she just missed the pedestrian walk signal, she yelled to Sidney, “Get us a table, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Sidney acknowledged Charlotte by smiling and throwing her a kiss. Then she turned toward the restaurant. As the hostess was seating her, there was a disruption at the door. Apparently someone had entered the restaurant and asked them to call an ambulance. The bus boy was placing garlic rolls on the table when Sidney asked, “Is everything okay outside?”
“I think there’s been a car accident.” The boy seemed uninterested.
Sidney waited a couple minutes for Charlotte, but she did not show. She’s a doctor. I’m sure she’s helping with the accident, she convinced herself. She left her coat and small overnight bag at the table and peeked through the window. A group of people had formed a circle in the street, but she could not see Charlotte.
She left the restaurant and walked toward the crowd. “Charlie?” she called as she searched the group, but did not hear a response. Sidney could hear the sirens from an ambulance approaching. “Charlie?” she called louder. Sidney pushed through the crowd but had not been prepared for what she found. There was a small clearing, and in the center lay a body.
“Oh God,” Sidney cried as she ran to Charlotte’s side. Charlotte lay on the cold street, her head resting in a pool of blood. Sidney kneeled next to her and saw that Charlotte’s eyes were fixed in a distant stare. Although she knew it was too late, she asked, “Charlie? Can you hear me?” Sidney sat on the ground and cradled Charlotte’s body. “Charlie, can you hear me?” She whispered in her ear. “You can’t leave us, Charlie. We need you.”
The police and EMT’s arrived. The bystanders were moved to the curbside. Then a paramedic approached Sidney. “What is her name?”
“Charlie…Charlotte Gray. You can help her, can’t you?”
The paramedic knew Charlotte was gone, but he searched for Charlotte’s pulse, anyway. “I’m really sorry. There’s nothing more we can do for your friend.” The man hesitated then asked, “Could you come with me? We’ll need some information.”
“Give me a minute, please.” Sidney tucked her face next to Charlotte’s and continued to rock her back and forth. She was numb. Oh God, how could this happen? Fifteen minutes earlier, her life could not have been better. Now, her happiness and gratitude had all slipped away. The warmth in her heart was replaced with emptiness, and the flicker of light in her eyes…vanished.
Moments later, a police officer and EMT separated Sidney from Charlotte and escorted her to a police car. One of the officers informed her that Charlotte was the victim of a hit and run. As the officer took pertinent information from Sidney, she felt like she was going to be sick. “I need to go,” she abruptly told the officers and got up to leave.
“We’re not finished,” the younger officer objected.
The other policeman seemed more understanding. “How can we reach you if we have more questions?”
Sidney jotted her name and phone number down then turned, and left. Charlotte’s body had been taken away, leaving a pool of blood saturating the street and tape illustrating where her body had rested. A woman tried to get her attention as Sidney blindly walked down the street.
“Excuse me.”
Sidney turned and stared at the vaguely familiar face. “Yes?”
“I believe these are yours.” The hostess from the restaurant handed Sidney’s coat and overnight bag to her. “I’m terribly sorry about your loss.”
“Thank you,” Sidney managed to say. Then she continued to walk aimlessly down the busy city street.
She walked for blocks before she realized she did not have any transportation. I don’t know where Charlie parked, and my car is at the train station. For the first time since the accident, she realized she was cold. She dropped her bag to the ground and put her winter coat on over her blood-soiled clothing. Then she continued walking.
Moments later, she blindly walked into an intersection and a passing car almost hit her. The driver of the car honked his horn, then shouted obscenities and gestured the finger. Control. I need to take control back, she thought.
Returning to the curb, she withdrew her phone from her pocket and punched in numbers. The phone rang four times before it was answered. “Miss Springer’s office.” Sidney remained silent on the other end. “Hello? Hello?”
Sidney cleared her throat. “Is Natalie there, please?”
“I’m sorry, she’s in a meeting. May I take a message for her?”
“No….” She almost hung up the phone, then said, “I need to speak with Natalie, would you get her for me, please?”
“Is this an emergency?”
“Yes.”
“Can I tell her who�
�s calling?”
“Sidney Marcum.”
“I’m going to put you on hold. I need to pull her from the meeting.”
To Sidney, it seemed as if she was on hold forever. She was about to hang up when Natalie picked up the phone. “Sid? What’s wrong?” Sidney could not talk. “Sidney, are you there?” Natalie could hear someone breathing on the other end. “Is that you, Sid?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I have terrible news, Nat. It’s…it’s Charlie.”
“What about Charlie?”
“There was an accident…Natalie, she’s gone.” Natalie remained silent. “Natalie, I’m sorry to tell you like this, I don’t know what to do.”
“What happened?” Natalie tried to remain calm.
“Hit and run.”
“When?”
“I don’t know, maybe an hour ago. They took her away …”
“Sidney, where are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you in Manhattan?”
“Yeah. We were supposed to meet at Nat’s…that’s where it happened.”
“Sidney, I’ll come and get you. But you need to tell me exactly where you are, okay?”
Sidney looked around for street signs. “I’m at the corner of Fifth and 21st.”
“I’ll be right there, don’t go anyplace. Do you understand?”
“Yeah.”
Within twenty minutes Natalie found Sidney pacing the sidewalk. “Sidney?” Natalie called.
She was unresponsive. Natalie rested her hands on Sidney’s shoulders, placing herself in Sidney’s line of vision. “Sidney?”
Sidney finally recognized Natalie and they silently embraced.
“I don’t know what to do. We never spoke about this. I don’t know her family at all. My car…it’s at the train station on the shore. I don’t have any way-“
“Don’t worry, I’ll help. The first thing we need to do is contact Jennifer.”
Like Natalie, Jennifer was shocked by the accident. But Natalie was right; Charlotte had left instructions with Jennifer in the event of an accidental death. In a handwritten letter, Charlotte had outlined her wishes. Her family had disowned her twenty years earlier because of her sexual orientation. In her letter she specifically requested that her body not be taken back to her family’s hometown for a burial. Rather, she requested a small party among friends to celebrate her life. She asked that her body be cremated and her ashes spread over the mountains of Vail.