Facades

by Alex Marcoux

  Anastasia stared at Natalie’s reflection in the mirror. “What are you saying?”

  “You heard me.”

  “Are you talking about Sidney?”

  Natalie ignored the question. “You’re finished.”

  Anastasia turned her swivel chair so that she could see Natalie’s eyes. “Nat, are you talking about Sidney?”

  “I didn’t say anything about Sidney. I only said that sometimes people aren’t always what they seem.”

  “Is Sidney gay?”

  Natalie ignored the question.

  Anastasia interpreted the silence as an affirmation. “Sidney is gay-“

  “I never said that.”

  “You didn’t deny it.” Anastasia left the tent, leaving Natalie with her thoughts.

  As Anastasia searched for Sidney, she got more upset with each passing minute. She finally found her standing backstage talking with the production manager. The man recognized Anastasia as she approached them. “Two minutes, Anastasia.” He quickly ran off, leaving Sidney and Anastasia alone.

  “I need to ask you a question,” Anastasia started. “And … I need you to be honest with me.”

  It was obvious to Sidney that Anastasia was upset. “What’s wrong?”

  Anastasia maintained eye contact with Sidney. “Are you gay?’

  Sidney felt her heart move up to her throat. “What?”

  A production assistant yelled over to Anastasia, “One minute.”

  “Sidney, are you gay?”

  “Anastasia, this isn’t the time or the place to discuss this.” Sidney was unable to make eye contact with Anastasia.

  “You’re right. It’s well past the time, and I don’t give a shit about where we are.”

  The entertainer who had been performing finished, and the MC was introducing Anastasia. Sensing something was wrong, the production assistant peered nervously over at Anastasia. The MC’s voice penetrated the backstage, “…we are pleased to have with us tonight…Anastasia.” Anastasia and Sidney could hear the applause.

  “I’m not moving until I get an answer.”

  Sidney looked around. Everyone was staring anxiously at the two, waiting for Anastasia to perform. Her eyes finally met Anastasia’s. “Yes, I am but-“

  Without warning Anastasia slapped Sidney’s face, then turned and walked to the side entrance where the production assistant directed her to the stage opening. No one saw the tears in her eyes as she ran out on the stage to perform “I’m Here to Stay.”

  Sidney knew everyone was staring at her. She left the backstage and returned to the dressing tent. Her attention turned to the small television in her tent that was tuned to the broadcast of Anastasia’s performance. How the hell did she find out I’m gay?

  Natalie poked her head into the tent. “Can I come in?” Deep in thought, Sidney did not hear her. Natalie entered the tent and placed herself in Sidney’s line of vision. “Sidney, what the hell happened out there?”

  “I don’t know. Somehow she guessed that I was gay.”

  “And then what?”

  “And then she slapped me.” Sidney felt her red-blotched face. “Hard.”

  “I would have expected a number of reactions from her. But not that one. What else happened?”

  Sidney shook her head. “Nothing.”

  Natalie took a folding chair and moved it to face Sidney. “Sid what happened between the two of you? You used to be friends now the two of you treat each other like strangers.”

  Sidney thought back to her walk with Anastasia on the beach. It was that damn walk. Things haven’t been the same since. Then she confided in her friend. “One night, about four months ago, Anastasia and I were walking on the beach …”

  “And?” Natalie asked.

  “And…she kissed me.”

  “And?”

  “Initially, I kissed her back. But when I realized what was happening, I stopped.”

  “What did you tell her?”

  “Nothing. I was going to explain everything, but before I could, she apologized and said it was the wine and that she didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “And you believed her?”

  “Of course. She didn’t give me any reason to believe otherwise. The next thing I knew she was seeing Brett, and whatever friendship we had seemed to disappear.”

  Natalie sat digesting the information that Sidney gave her. Sidney watched the television. Anastasia had finished the first song and started another. Her energy level and stage presence were great.

  “Anastasia didn’t exactly guess that you are gay,” Natalie admitted.

  “What do you mean?” Sidney glared back at her friend.

  “Well, we were talking and-“

  “You told her I was gay?” Sidney’s voice rose in anger.

  “Kind of.”

  Sidney got to her feet and started to pace the small tent. Occasionally she looked at Natalie but did not say anything. Natalie knew Sidney was about to blow; her jawbone visibly tightened and her face was red.

  “Go ahead, get it off your chest,” encouraged Natalie.

  “I don’t know what to say.” Sidney continued to pace. “Natalie, I can’t believe you told her. Of all people, you know what I can lose if that information gets in the wrong person’s hands. I don’t know what to say to you.”

  Natalie remained calm, letting her friend go off on her. Then Sidney challenged her, “Damn it Natalie, I thought you were my friend?”

  Natalie was quick to defend herself. “Don’t you ever question my friendship to you.” She was visibly upset. “I told her you were gay…because I am your friend. I’m tired of seeing you go through the motions of life, without living it.

  “Anastasia is in love with you; it’s obvious to everyone except you.” Natalie continued, “It’s like you go through life with blinders on. You are by far the most brilliant woman I know, Sid. But sometimes you don’t see beyond the tip of your nose.” Natalie decided not to hold back. “Sid, I’ve known you for a long time. When you’re around Anastasia, there’s a sparkle in your eyes that hasn’t been there since Charlie. Can you deny you have feelings for her?”

  Sidney remained speechless; her face was still red, and she stared at the floor.

  “Do you realize you suck people into your life? You give them a taste of what you’re all about. But before they realize you’re such a damned…untouchable, it’s too late …” Natalie’s voice cracked as she finished, “they’ve fallen in love with you. But then you keep those damn blinders on and you’re oblivious to that person’s feelings.” Tears fell from Natalie’s eyes as she finished.

  Sidney was shocked by Natalie’s display of emotion. “You’re not talking about Anastasia, are you?”

  Natalie shook her head. “I was never in love with Charlie; I fell in love with you. That’s why I dropped out of your lives, not because of Charlie…because of you.”

  “And Charlie knew?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I had no idea.”

  “My point exactly.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sidney asked.

  “What good would that have done? You made it quite clear when Charlie died that you wouldn’t put yourself in a compromising position. Initially, I respected your decision and I wanted to be supportive. Then as time went on, I could see life slipping by, for both of us. I’ve worked really hard to get over you, Sid. Karen has taught me that living life is a lot more fun than going through the motions.”

  Sidney remained speechless, trying to digest everything.

  “Anastasia’s in love with you, Sid. I don’t want you to lose something that could be special.”

  They both turned to the monitor. Anastasia had finished an electrifying performance, and left the stage. The audience was screaming for an encore.

  Anastasia came back on the stage. Rather than singing, she picked up the microphone to talk to the audience. “Thank you, New York. I always enjoy performing at home.”

  The audience cheered
her on.

  “You know, this audience has made me feel right at home tonight, and I’d like to share something personal with you. You see-I’ve been seeing this guy for some time. Some of you might know him, his name is Brett.”

  The audience roared, acknowledging the torrid affair the papers had been exploiting.

  Anastasia smiled. “Brett asked me to marry him last week.”

  The audience continued to cheer.

  “I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

  There was an eruption of whistling, screaming and applauding.

  When the audience settled down, Anastasia continued, “I understand this concert is being televised in California as we speak.” Anastasia turned to the camera, “I hope you’re watching, Brett; we’ve got a lot of plans to make.”

  The audience roared in satisfaction. Anastasia gave a signal to the band members for her encore, and she started singing “I Deserve.”

  In the tent, Sidney turned the television off. “If that woman is in love with me, she sure has a strange way of showing it.”

  “It’s time for you to be honest with her,” Natalie said.

  “No, it’s not. My son is my first priority. Nothing will change that.” She hesitated as she turned to leave the tent. “I trust you will never say anything about me again.” Then she left.

  Chapter 27

  On Monday morning a certified letter arrived at MPI’s office. Natalie signed for it and brought the document to Sidney’s office. “I just signed for this,” she said as she dropped the envelope on Sidney’s desk.

  Sidney realized the letter was from a law firm. Natalie stayed as Sidney opened the letter and reviewed it. “What is it?” Natalie asked.

  “Anastasia is firing us.”

  “She can’t do that. Can she?”

  “Actually, she’s proposing to terminate our contract by buying us out,” Sidney stated dryly.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “The offer looks reasonable. I’ll run some new numbers, but I don’t see any reason why we’d want to fight this.”

  Later that afternoon, Jennifer Warren telephoned Sidney. “We need to talk, can you come by my office?”

  Sidney made a point of stopping by Jennifer’s office before she left the city. Jennifer got right to the point, “I received a letter from Michael’s attorney. He’s petitioned the court for full custody of JP.”

  “On what grounds?” Sidney was furious.

  “Although parts of the complaint are vague, it implies that you’re a lesbian and an unfit parent.”

  Sidney sank into the soft chair next to her friend’s desk. My biggest nightmare is becoming reality. This was not the first time Michael had challenged her for custody, but it was the first time he demanded it on the grounds that she was a lesbian. The first time the two parties settled on visitation rights for Michael every other weekend and selected holidays. When Justin was six, Michael sued for custody on the grounds that Sidney was an unfit mother. Although Michael was unsuccessful, he was awarded three weekends a month for visitation, and most holidays.

  “Sidney, we need to prepare ourselves for perhaps the biggest fight of your life. I need to know what we’re up against.”

  “What do you need to know?”

  “For starters, I need to know about all your intimate relationships since Charlie.”

  Sidney shook her head. “There are none.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I haven’t had a romantic relationship, with a man or a woman, since Charlie.”

  Jennifer stared at Sidney in disbelief.

  “You don’t believe me?”

  “I do believe you. It’s just that you’re young and attractive, and I wonder what the judge will think.”

  “Jennifer, the day we had Charlie’s memorial gathering at the shore, Michael told me he knew I was a lesbian. He said he had been preparing a petition to sue for custody. He threatened that when I got in another relationship, he would take JP from me. I swear I haven’t had an intimate relationship with anybody since Charlie. I took Michael’s threat very seriously.” Sidney admitted, “There was somebody I liked, but we never dated or anything. We were just friends and eventually she just got out of my life.”

  “What about Natalie?” Jennifer asked.

  Sidney was getting agitated. “What about Natalie?”

  “She’s gay; the two of you work together. Did anything ever happen between the two of you?” Jennifer knew that Natalie had been in love with Sidney.

  “No.” Sidney was losing patience. “Jennifer, I haven’t been in a relationship since Charlie.”

  “If you haven’t had a relationship since Charlie, would you characterize yourself as a homosexual?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you haven’t had homosexual relations since Charlie. Correct?”

  “Yeah. Does that help, even though I’m gay?”

  “I don’t know, but unless you can say you’re not a lesbian, I think that’s the position we need to take. Michael will be calling an expert witness who will testify that homosexuals are unfit to be parents because they’re promiscuous, child molesters, and have sex in front of their children.”

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  “I know, but that is what’s going to happen. Don’t worry, we’ll get our own expert to testify that homosexuals also make good parents. It will disarm some of their testimony.”

  “So it will be one person’s word against the other?”

  “True, but if their only argument is that you had a homosexual relationship seven years ago, their case is weak and their expert’s testimony shouldn’t impact the judge’s decision very much. We still should get the best expert we can find.”

  “Do you have someone in mind?”

  “Yes, Timothy Lewis. He’s the leading psychiatrist in the tri-state area. From what I’ve heard, he’s an excellent expert witness. If we can get him, we’ll be in good shape.”

  A custody hearing had been scheduled. Jennifer and Sidney were busy over the two months preparing for the hearing. The two women met frequently to discuss the case information and review disclosure and witness information. Jennifer was disappointed to learn that Dr. Lewis could not be their expert witness because of a previous commitment. She was furious when she saw his name disclosed on the witness sheet as Michael’s expert.

  Sidney did not recognize most of the people on Michael’s witness list, including two witnesses who were to testify “Sidney Marcum and Charlotte Gray were involved in an inappropriate lesbian relationship.” The only person that Sidney recognized was Lynette Floras, her domestic helper, who had abruptly quit a couple months earlier.

  The hearing was a little over a week away, and Jennifer and Sidney were meeting to help prepare Sidney for cross-examination. •“Have you told JP about the hearing?” Jennifer asked.

  “Yes, he’s aware that his father wants custody of him.”

  “Does he know that you’re gay?”

  Sidney shook her head. “No; at least I haven’t told him. I’ve just said that both his father and I love him, and that his father thinks he can do a better job raising him than I can.”

  “You may want to tell him about your relationship with Charlie.”

  “I plan to. I just want to get a little closer to the hearing.”

  “You’re right. We don’t need him to leak anything to Michael.” Jennifer continued, “Michael has subpoenaed one other witness for his case.”

  “Who is it?”

  “Anastasia. Perhaps you may have some insight into what she can offer.”

  “Anastasia?” Sidney could feel her heartbeat hasten. “I don’t know what she would testify to, Jennifer. What does the disclosure say?”

  Jennifer pulled out a document and started reading. “Ms. Anastasia was a witness to a boating accident in which the Petitioner’s son was hurt. She has knowledge of the relationship between the Respondent and her son. She knows facts relevant to the case that demonstrate
Ms. Marcum is an unfit mother.”

  All week Sidney had been debating whether or not to attend a charity event that benefited New York City domestic abuse shelters. One of the sponsors for the event was Broadcast Music Incorporated. Sidney knew it would be a good opportunity to network for a new client.

  She also felt strongly about supporting the cause, but she had heard that Brett and Anastasia were attending. Sidney had been avoiding Anastasia since the night of the Central Park Concert. She had recently read in People magazine that Anastasia and Brett were to be married later that month.

  There was a knock at Sidney’s office door. “Come in,” Sidney said. She turned off a new prospect demo tape and Scott came into her office.

  “Hi,” he said. “What’s this I hear about our date tomorrow night? You can’t change your mind; my tuxedo is ready to go.”

  “I’m sorry Scott, I have the hearing on Monday. I could use the extra night to prepare my testimony,” Sidney lied.

  “Well, I’m not going to let you out of our date that easily.”

  “You can still go; Natalie will be there. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun, even without me.”

  Scott called her bluff. “Do you want to tell me why you really don’t want to go?”

  Sidney smiled at Scott. “I’d rather not.”

  “Sid, let’s go for a couple hours, and then I will personally escort you home.” Sidney hesitated. “Great, I’ll pick you up here tomorrow after work, and we’ll go to dinner first.”

  The following evening Sidney was having difficulty concentrating on Scott’s conversation during dinner. Scott knew Sidney’s mind was someplace else. “May I say how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked.

  Sidney smiled, “Thank you, and I’m sorry. I know I’m not good company tonight. Would you like to do this some other time?”

  “Nice try. Sidney, I’ve never known you to run away from anything,” Scott boldly stated, “until now.”

  “I’m not running, Scott. I just don’t see any reason to put myself in a situation involving conflict.”