Justice for Hope

by Susan Stoker

  He also had a lot of friends, which wasn’t surprising, since Billy was fun to be around. He was generous and generally happy. She supposed even without speaking, the other kids had figured out those things about him and taken him under their wing.

  Joseph was a tough patient. He was grumpy and impatient to get the casts off and to be mobile again, but Hope didn’t care because he was alive…that was what mattered. In the evenings, they’d wheel his bed out of the office they’d temporarily made into a bedroom—thankfully the room had huge double doors—so he could join them in the living room and watch TV with them. He almost always fell asleep, but at least he wasn’t shoved away in a corner and was with people who loved him.

  Calder had finally told Hope about the message that had been spray-painted on the diner before it had burned down. She’d freaked out, but Calder had reassured her that all of his friends were doing everything they could to figure out who had written it and why. Of course, so far, they’d had no luck, but he was hopeful after the results came back from the evidence collected at the fire, they’d have more leads.

  Things had been going so well between her and Calder that she’d put the thought of getting an apartment, once Joseph was back on his feet, out of her mind for the moment. She knew she should be worrying about that, but she couldn’t muster up the desire. Living with Calder was like a dream come true, and she hated to even think about separating Billy from the man he so obviously loved and adored. Every day, her son still wore the medical examiner badge Calder had given him. It was clipped to his waistband and he proudly showed it off to anyone and everyone he met.

  Everything felt perfect—except for two small things.

  The first was the letters. They were sent through the postal system. Since she was home during the day, she was the one to get the mail. She wasn’t going to open them, but from almost the first day she moved in, Calder had told her she would be doing him a huge favor if she answered the phone if it rang and dealt with his mail. He had a huge stack of it and Hope had been appalled when he finally sat down to open it and had discovered he was late in paying two bills. He’d told her if she found something important to let him know and he’d deal with it, and she could throw away any junk mail.

  At first, Hope thought the unaddressed envelope was a solicitation for a donation or something but had been confused when she’d opened the first one. By the time the third one arrived, Hope could no longer ignore the fact that they were probably aimed at her.

  The notes were short and to the point. The first had said, “Hope your happy,” complete with bad grammar.

  The second one read, “Don’t get comfortable.”

  The last one she received simply said, “Mine.” Just like the message at the diner.

  That one really freaked her out—because it was confirmation that the person sending the letters was most likely the same person who’d set the diner on fire. If it was the same person, he obviously knew Calder’s address…and if he decided to burn down this house, Hope would never forgive herself.

  The more she thought about the notes, the more she was sure they were from Earle. He’d found her and was fucking with her before he swooped in and taught her the lesson she knew he was eager to give her.

  Hope knew she’d have to leave. Not only Calder’s house, but San Antonio and the state. She’d have to start over somewhere else, hopefully somewhere Earle couldn’t find her. She had money now, though, so at least she and her son wouldn’t be homeless, wherever they ended up.

  But she didn’t want to go. Billy was finally happy and living a normal life as a seven-year-old. Joseph still needed her. Then there was Calder…

  If he knew about the letters, he’d never let her leave. She knew him well enough to know that for a fact. He’d want to protect her. To make sure she was safe from her ex. More than anything, she wanted to be safe, wanted her son to be safe, but she couldn’t risk Calder’s life. She knew more than anyone how unstable Earle was. He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt Calder. Look at what he’d done to the diner.

  No, she couldn’t tell him. For his own protection.

  She also knew Calder was waiting on an indication from her that she was ready for a more intimate relationship. At first, it had been him holding back, but shortly after they’d moved Joseph into his house, he’d told her one night that he was ready to move their relationship to the next level. Hope had been excited about it, and was trying to find the perfect time to let him know she was ready…but then the second letter came.

  If she slept with Calder, she’d never want to leave, just as he wouldn’t want her to go. And the last thing she wanted was for him to get hurt because of her.

  So this time, she’d told him she wasn’t ready. He didn’t push, but he didn’t shy away from letting her know he cared. Whenever he got close, he’d trail his fingers around her hip or touch her arm. And every night as they watched TV, he held her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers and rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand over and over.

  It was torture. Billy had begun sleeping in his own room, and with her newfound privacy, Hope was becoming more aware of her sexuality. She’d even ordered a vibrator online, although so far, she’d been too chicken to use it, not wanting Calder or her son to hear.

  But it seemed like she was horny all the time. Just watching Calder eat, she’d fantasize about his hands on her. Even when he wasn’t doing anything overtly sexual, her mind always ended up in the gutter.

  But those damn letters made it impossible for her to move forward. Calder would never agree to let her and Billy leave if he found out about them, let alone after they’d slept together. He was bossy and protective, and if she agreed to sleep with him, he’d move heaven and earth to get to the bottom of the letters and make her safe.

  That wasn’t a bad thing…but she still couldn’t make herself tell him. She was stuck. Wanting him more than she’d ever wanted anything, but not able to move forward with him because of the threats hanging over her head.

  “What on earth are you thinking about so hard over there?” Mickie asked.

  She and Hayden had come over and were visiting before it was time to pick Billy up at the bus stop. Hope was nervous about letting him continue to ride the bus to school, especially in light of the letters that had arrived, but she waited with him at the bus stop and saw him off to school every morning, and met the bus at the end of every day. It was the best she could do at the moment. The other options were telling Calder about the letters and putting him in danger, or leaving. Neither was appealing.

  Joseph was napping in his room while the girls hung out in the dining room and chatted.

  “Calder,” Hope blurted.

  Hayden rubbed her hands together and scooted to the edge of the chair she was sitting in. “Yeah?”

  Hope sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I just…I like living here, but it feels weird.”

  “Weird how?” Mickie asked.

  “Just weird.”

  “Do you get the impression that he wants you to leave?” Hayden asked.

  Hope shook her head. “No. Not at all. But…I have no idea where we stand.”

  “What do you mean?” Mickie asked.

  “We’re close. I mean, he tells me about his job, what he can, and I think I help him unwind from that. He seems to love having Billy here. He reads to him every night and helps him with his homework. He doesn’t demand I do anything in return for living here. He does his own laundry, has no problem cooking when he gets home if I haven’t started anything, and he treats Joseph as if he’s his own father.”

  “What about you?” Hayden asked perceptively. “How does he treat you?”

  “Like no one ever has before.” Hope sighed.

  “And that’s good?” Mickie asked.

  “Of course it is. It’s just...” Hope paused.

  “Is the sex not satisfying then?” Mickie whispered comically. It was as if she were afraid Calder was standing nearby and would somehow hear th
e question.

  “No!” Hope exclaimed. “I mean...I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know?” Hayden asked, her eyes wide in disbelief.

  “Wow. I seriously don’t see a man like Calder being celibate,” Mickie said.

  Hope jumped to his defense. “Oh, he wants to…It’s me holding back. He kisses me all the time. Little pecks on the cheek and my temple. And we sit in the beanbag together almost every night after Billy goes to sleep. We talk about our days and what we have coming up. When he drives us places, he always holds my hand.”

  “Then for goodness sake, why aren’t you guys gettin’ it on?” Hayden asked.

  “Because I think my ex was the one who burned down the diner,” Hope blurted. “If I sleep with Calder, it’s going to be nearly impossible for me to leave him. And I know he won’t let me leave.”

  “You can’t leave!” Hayden blurted.

  “Seriously!” Mickie echoed. “You love it here!”

  “I know,” Hope whined. “I’m so torn up inside. I want him, bad, but the last thing I want to do is lead him on…be a tease. I can’t sleep with him then disappear.”

  “Then don’t,” Hayden said bluntly.

  “I don’t want to,” Hope whispered. “I’m pretty sure I love him…but I don’t want him to have to deal with my baggage.”

  Hayden studied her for a long moment, then took a deep breath before she began talking. “I’m going to tell you something that I probably shouldn’t. In my defense, I thought you knew about this already, but I can see that it’s likely he didn’t tell you.”

  Hope’s stomach fell. “What? He doesn’t like me? He just wants to be friends?”

  “Hush. No. Remember that business trip he took last month?”

  Hope nodded. “Yeah, he was asked to give a speech at a conference in California for medical examiners. He didn’t want to go to the whole thing, but he agreed to go for a few days. He made TJ and Milena come and stay here. Said he wanted to make sure I didn’t get overwhelmed taking care of Joseph and Billy.”

  Hayden nodded slowly. “Right. He didn’t go to California. He went to Seattle. To talk to your ex.”

  Hope stared at Hayden in disbelief. Then she immediately began to shake. “What?”

  Mickie put a hand over Hope’s on the table and squeezed as Hayden continued.

  “Cruz and I went with him. He was concerned that it was Earle who came here and set the diner on fire. That he’d written that word on the building and beat Joseph up.”

  Hope felt lightheaded and dizzy.

  “He took Cruz because he’s a Federal agent, and having the backup of the government when dealing with an asshole like Earle Thyne is a good thing. I went with them because many times, abusers can’t handle a female cop getting in their face, and they’ll say shit they might not have otherwise. We confronted him. Asked him point-blank if he’d been to San Antonio recently. He denied it, of course. So Cruz pushed, saying he could easily check into his financial records, and flight information, and that he’d talk to his supervisor if he had to. Fucker lost it. Said he’d looked for you for a while, but when you never used the credit card he’d given you, and you ditched the car he’d put the tracker on, he couldn’t find you. When people at work started asking about you, he told them he broke up with you, rather than lose face by admitting you’d left.”

  Hope swallowed hard and stared at Hayden in disbelief. “But now he knows where I am.”

  Hayden nodded. “Yeah. But he’s got a new girlfriend, and I think he got the message that you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore when you fled.”

  “Is he hurting her too?” Hope whispered. She felt Mickie’s hand tighten but didn’t take her eyes from Hayden.

  “We believe so. But, Hope, that’s not the point here. I know you want to save the world, but we’re talking about the fact that Calder went out of his way to threaten your ex. To make sure he hadn’t come to Texas to get back at you for leaving him, and wasn’t planning on coming here. Calder is already dealing with your ‘baggage,’ as you put it.”

  “Oh.”

  “That’s all you have to say?” Mickie asked. “Oh?”

  Hope struggled to find the words to explain her feelings. “No one has ever had my back before. I’ve always felt like it was me against the world. I’m not thrilled Calder lied to me, but I know he did it because he was looking out for me and Billy.”

  “Lies have a way of coming between people,” Mickie observed. “They almost killed my relationship with Cruz.”

  “Did you know Cruz went to Washington?” Hope asked.

  Mickie nodded. “Yeah. But I didn’t know why. There are a lot of things he can’t tell me because of his job. I’ve gotten past the point where I need to know all the details.”

  Hope thought about that…and then bit her lip guiltily.

  “What?” Hayden asked. “What aren’t you saying, Hope?”

  She picked at a stain on the tabletop absently.

  “Hope?” Mickie asked.

  “A few letters have arrived. I didn’t think anything about them at first because I was busy getting Joseph settled and Billy enrolled in school. With everything else that was going on, I actually forgot about the first one.”

  “Shit, Hope,” Hayden said, leaning forward.

  “I know. The second one came, and I decided to ignore that one too. But then the last one arrived…and I have to admit that it made me nervous. I thought they were from Earle,” she hurried to explain when both her friends looked at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. “I figured he’d started that fire, and I’d have to leave. But I knew Calder wouldn’t let me if he found out about the letters.”

  “Hope, we went to see your ex a month ago. Since then, Beth has dug into his life a bit. He hasn’t been outside of Seattle in months. Hasn’t called anyone out of the ordinary. He’s too focused on controlling his new girlfriend to worry about you.”

  “He could still be sending letters,” Hope said lamely.

  “Tell Calder,” Hayden ordered.

  “You really do need to,” Mickie added. “Sending threatening letters via the mail is a federal offense. The FBI can get involved.”

  “They’re not exactly threatening.” Hope tried to defend her decision to stay quiet, though, given what Hayden had told her, she knew she’d made a mistake.

  “What’d they say?” Hayden asked.

  Hope told them, and Hayden shook her head in disbelief.

  “Hope. Those are absolutely threatening. And the fact that the last one said the same thing that was painted on the front of the diner before it burnt down isn’t good.”

  “I thought it was Earle! I thought he wanted me back and was pissed that I’d moved on and was living with Calder.”

  “Wouldn’t that be the very reason to tell Calder?” Hayden shot back. “What if it had been Earle? What if he’d burned down this house next? What if he’d hurt Calder? Or Joseph? Or your son? Because Calder didn’t know there was a threat?”

  “I know!” Hope exclaimed in agitation. “And that’s why I still need to leave. To keep Calder safe.”

  “No. Tell. Him,” Hayden enunciated. “You both need to discuss what’s been going on. Calder needs to tell you what he’s been doing to try to keep you safe, and you need to tell him about the letters. You do not need to run off into the wild blue yonder. Beth has some crazy hacker skills. She can work with her retired military friend and see what they can dig up.”

  “Not only that, but you need to tell Calder that you want to be with him. I’ve seen the way the man looks at you. I guarantee there’s no way he’s not going to understand why you waited,” Mickie said in a tone much gentler than Hayden’s. “Leaving isn’t the way to deal with this, Hope.”

  “I’ll show him the letters when he gets home tonight,” Hope said.

  “Good,” Hayden said.

  “And you’ll talk to him about your relationship?” Mickie pressed.

  Hope nodded. Something was bot
hering her even more now, though. “So, if it wasn’t Earle who hurt Joseph and burned down the diner, who was it?”

  The other two women didn’t have any immediate answers, they simply shrugged.

  “I’m sure Calder and the others are doing their best to figure that out,” Hayden said.

  Hope thought about the notes. They’d made sense when she’d assumed Earle had sent them. She’d thought he was saying she was his. “Hope your happy” wasn’t exactly threatening on the face of it, but the “Don’t get comfortable” also made more sense when she’d thought Earle had written it.

  But now, she was baffled. If they weren’t from Earle, who were they from? And having an unknown enemy wasn’t exactly comforting. “Could the letters have been meant for Calder or Joseph?” Hope asked, grasping at straws. “I mean, they weren’t addressed to anyone, they just had this address on them.”

  “It’s possible,” Hayden said. “The news made a big deal out of Calder taking in Joseph, and they certainly reported on you and Billy enough after you won that money.”

  “Am I putting them in danger?” Hope asked.

  “Stop panicking,” Mickie ordered. “You can’t think the worst. Besides, Calder’s been on this. You know he’s got your back. Hell, you and Billy are never alone, are you?”

  Hope shook her head. Even now, she wasn’t home alone. Hayden and Mickie were there. Thinking back, Hope realized that Calder always made sure someone was with her.

  “I need to talk to him,” she surmised.

  Mickie rolled her eyes and Hayden merely chuckled.

  Hope’s cell phone rang in the kitchen. Calder had taken her to purchase one the day after the diner burnt down. Said that she needed to have a reliable way to get in touch with him. Since then, she’d put so many numbers in her contacts it was almost unbelievable. From each of Calder’s friends, to their women, to the firefighters and their women, to the school and some of Billy’s classmates’ parents…it was almost overwhelming how she’d gone from having no friends, to having a phone full of them.

  Mickie looked at her watch and smirked. “Looks like it’s about time for Calder to check in, huh?”