AT 29

by D. P. Macbeth

  They decided to dispense with the notion of going out for dinner. Both men were exhausted; Jimmy from the competition, George from his advanced age and the long bus ride early that morning. George went in search of takeout pizza and beer. He should have been back on the bus home to Liston, but Jimmy insisted he stay. In the middle of the night a front dropped from Canada, ushering the long day’s heat and humidity across New Hampshire and Maine and out to sea.

  Twenty-Seven

  He awoke at mid-morning. George was watching television, waiting for him to rouse. They spent a half hour putting the previous day’s gear in order then tossed it all into the trunk of the Saab. George attached the Centurion to the rack while Jimmy went to the front desk to checkout. Neither man felt the need to rush. It was a gorgeous Sunday morning in Vermont.

  They ate breakfast at a sidewalk café on Church Street, only steps from the second floor former Poor Richard’s Pub. The Sunday Burlington Free Press listed the triathletes, including a breakdown of times for each leg of the race. The top finisher was a Swede, Bennick Bergdahl. Jimmy marveled at his time, 4:01:22. In spite of his balky leg, he was satisfied with his own finish, 6:49:37. He vowed never to do it again.

  When they rolled onto Interstate 89 Jimmy sped south as fast as he thought possible without earning the attention of a state trooper. They chatted about the race for the first half hour. George heaped praise on Jimmy for finishing. Then they fell silent for much of the ride from Montpelier to White River Junction. When the highway crossed the Connecticut River into New Hampshire, George spoke again.

  “Sure been a long time since I seen a Kendall boy competin’.”

  “It wasn’t a competition, just a test of my physical conditioning.”

  “Yep.” George seemed to be thinking about something more, but a mile passed before he spoke again. “Us talkin’ these coupla months, I got to thinkin’.”

  “About what?”

  “Germany. Maybe look up my wife.”

  “That could be risky.”

  “You mean maybe she won’t wanna see me?”

  “It’s been a long time. Maybe she isn’t there or perhaps she met someone else.”

  “I suppose. I’m just thinkin’ right now.”

  “What will you do in the meantime?”

  “I don’t wanna live in Liston no more, Florida’s lookin’ good. I got a coupla bucks and my pension from the Army. Figure I can make a go of it down there where it’s warm, go back and settle down for good if findin’ her don’t work out. I got some money on a red Chevy Impala. Ain’t had a car since I left Florida the first time.”

  An idea came to Jimmy. “Would you be interested in doing some work for me?”

  George turned his head. “What d’ya have in mind?”

  “My house in Chillingham, it needs general repairs, cleaning and painting. You could stay there. I’ll pay you and buy whatever supplies you need.”

  “How long?”

  “As long as it takes.”

  George looked out the window, considering the offer. “Why ain’t you doin’ it?”

  “I’m going back to New York.”

  “So you’re gonna try again?”

  “I wrote a new song.”

  George stayed silent for a moment then said, “I gotta pickup the Chevy. You got a garage?”

  Jimmy laughed. “Yes.”

  They sealed the deal with a handshake then rode on without further chat. George seemed deep in thought. Jimmy assumed he was thinking about his wife or maybe wrestling with his decision about Florida. He felt some empathy for his friend. After several miles George took a deep breath, still staring straight ahead.

  “I looked up Bucinski.” He looked at Jimmy, gauging his reaction then went on. “He wasn’t hard to find, in the phonebook livin’ in Methuen, still teachin’. I told him what you said about that last game.”

  “How did he react?” Jimmy shifted in his seat behind the wheel, guarded.

  “Surprised, I think, about me knowin’.”

  “So he didn’t deny what he did to me?”

  “Yeah, well everybody’s got somethin’. I asked him what happened.”

  “I told you what happened.”

  “Your side of the story.”

  “There’s no other side.” Irritation crept into Jimmy’s voice. George took no notice.

  “Right or wrong there’s always two sides. I got to thinkin’ ‘bout some of the stuff you used to do back when you was playin’. Every time one’a you kids come off the floor the rule was take the open seat next to coach so’s he could explain what he wanted when he put ya back in. Remember?”

  “Cardinal rule.”

  “You always went straight to the end of the bench as far away from him as you could get.”

  “Why are you dredging this up again?”

  “Cuz it ain’t over yet, not for you.”

  “Tell me what he said.”

  George ignored the demand. “Why did you keep it to yourself all these years?”

  “What did he say to you?”

  “Why did you come back to Liston?”

  “Not because of Bucinski.” Jimmy stared at the road, watching the white lines glide by. He couldn’t be sure what George knew, but he had an idea. Suddenly, he was tired; from the previous day, the months alone in the house in Chillingham, training in the cold days of winter and recalling all of the people he had known.

  “We run him off.”

  “Who?” Jimmy was relieved by the subject change.

  “Brother Justice. I caught him with Sammy Wykoff. I ain’t gonna describe what I saw. You can paint your own picture. I suspected him over the years with some of the other boys. You know the ones who was a little different, but this time with Sammy, it was right in front of me. I wasn’t ignorin’ it no more. I went to Brother Patrick and told’m what I seen. He listened, but I could see on his face he didn’t know what to do. It’d kill Kendall if word got out, what with the power them Wykoffs and McGraths had in the city. Course the drug bust killed it anyway.”

  “Brother Justice?”

  “I’m gettin’ there. I let it go a coupla days. I kept my eye on Sammy, makin’ sure him and Brother didn’t have no chance to go off alone somewhere. Then I got a hold a Bucinski and told’m what I wanted to do. He was all for it. Nobody liked Brother Justice. When it was all hatched out, I went back to Brother Patrick and put my plan to him like it was a story I heard in the Army. Then I says to him, ‘If somethin’ like that was to happen at Kendall do you think it would be the right thing to do?’ He never said nothin’, but he looked me in the eye. That’s all I needed.

  “Next night, I waited ‘til prayers was over and the brothers had all gone to their rooms. Bucinski showed up ‘bout ten. He had Antonelli with him. He stayed by his car whilst Antonelli and me went inside. I hid down the hall and Antonelli knocked on the door real quiet so’s the other Brothers wouldn’t hear. He lied a course, tellin’ Brother Justice he needed some counselin’ and askin’ him if he’d come over to the chapel so’s they could talk. Later, Antonelli said he thought Brother was suspicious, but he put on his collar and jacket and came out anyway. Once they was gone, I slipped into the room. No problem gettin’ in. Bein’ the janitor, I had a key. I found a suitcase in the closet and threw as much clothes and stuff in it as I could. Then I took it with me downstairs.

  “By then, Brother Justice was standin’ by Bucinski’s car with the three of ’em lookin’ at each other not sayin’ nothin’. I threw the suitcase in the trunk and told him to get in the backseat. He acted like he didn’t know what was goin’ on, but he knew what I seen with him and Sammy. I said we was takin’ him to the bus station. Didn’t care where he went as long as it was at least five hundred miles away. And, he wasn’t comin’ back ever again. He said no, even tried to walk back to his room, but Bucinski blocked his way. It got tense, them bein’ the same size and the Brother lookin’ like he was ready to take a swing, but after a minute he gave in and got into the c
ar. Bucinski and Antonelli got in on either side. It looked kinda odd, me in the front seat drivin’, them three big guys crammed into the backseat bein’ chauffeured. ‘Bout half way to the bus station he starts cryin’ like a baby. Kept askin’ for us to let him go. Said he never hurt no boys. Bucinski told him to shut up.

  “At the station he tried to buy a ticket for Miami, but I wasn’t havin’ it. Not goin to my old city. He eventually picked Milwaukee. Not sure why, but the bus left at six in the mornin’. We waited the whole night and made sure he was on it. Then we followed the bus out the Mass Pike to the Connecticut border just to make sure he didn’t try gettin’ off. Never saw him again.”

  Jimmy stole a glance at George. He had a satisfied look on his face. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Thought you’d like to know bein’ as you was one a the few kids who didn’t give Sammy a hard time. And, you ought to know Bucinski ain’t all bad.” George paused before continuing. “All this talkin’ we been doin’, what with you never tellin’ nobody ‘bout Bucinski and me never tellin’ nobody about my wife, I wonder why we keep stuff secret like that. In my case, I come to realize it was me all along. I shoulda done right by her, taken her back to Germany like she wanted. She was real unhappy in Florida. I loved her and I didn’t have no particular reason to stay there. I coulda been just as happy back in Germany, long as we was together. She begged me to go back, she didn’t want to leave me. It was just my pride. I wanted to be the boss, make all the decisions for us. Ruined a good life together. I kept it secret ‘cause I knew I done the wrong thing all along. I been ashamed all these years. Now on this thing with Bucinski, you got your reasons for not talkin’, too. I got me an idea why.”

  “Tell me.” Jimmy grew uncomfortable again.

  “Better you tell me.”

  “Do you think I’m hiding something?”

  George shifted in his seat. “Why’d you come back to Liston?”

  “We’ve been through this. I decided to get away.”

  “And, that fool thing up there in Vermont. Why’d you really go back there?”

  “I told you. I wanted to test my conditioning.”

  “Yeah, so you say. Why there?”

  “I know some people in Vermont.”

  “Now that’s some progress. Tellin’ the truth, I think. It weren’t really ‘bout no conditionin’. And, did you see any of ’em?”

  “Yes.” Jimmy thought of Peggy.

  “Fixin’ fences?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “No? It ain’t what you intended all along?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Sure you do, boy and I know why.”

  “Enough!” Jimmy exploded.

  A sign for a rest area appeared. His leg was beginning to throb so he slowed and turned in. He parked, gave George an angry look and got out to stretch. After a few minutes George opened his door and got out. By then, Jimmy was leaning on a picnic table a few feet away. George walked over and slid onto the bench.

  “You been carryin’ this thing with Bucinski for a long time.”

  “You have it all wrong.”

  “He said he was sorry ‘bout what happened.”

  Jimmy rubbed his face with his hands. “It doesn’t matter, George”

  “Yeah, it does.”

  “Let it go.” Jimmy pleaded, wanting him to stop.

  “You let it go. You was just a kid. You did a kid thing.”

  Jimmy slammed his fist on the table. “NOT ME! HIM!”

  George didn’t rattle. “It’s screwin’ with your mind.”

  “No!”

  “Yep, it is and we’re gonna bring it out. There’s a reason why your teammates didn’t stick up for you. Same reason you never talked about it ceptin’ to Brother Patrick and it weren’t the whole truth then, neither.”

  Jimmy slumped onto the bench opposite George. “Why don’t you tell me then?”

  “Wouldn’t be no good that way. It’s gotta come from you. You’re carryin’ a pile a guilt. Secret’s gotta come out. All them times in practice, when you was forced to run and run, why d’ya suppose that was?”

  “We’ve gone over this.”

  “Why’d he make you run all them sprints?”

  “It’s not important anymore.”

  “How was you doin’ in class?”

  “Flunking. I was flunking.”

  “Smart kid like you. Why was that?”

  “I didn’t want to be at Kendall.”

  “And, the playbook?”

  “I never looked at it. I wasn’t planning to stick around.”

  “All that talent. You takin’ the team to the playoffs and alls you was thinkin’ is how to get out.”

  “When I was on the floor I did my best.”

  “But it ain’t as much as you think. That’s instinct mostly, just goin with your skills. Once you broke a sweat it was natural. That was easy for you, but you coulda dogged it just like you was doin’ in class and practice. Why didn’t you?”

  No answer

  “Who’s Duffy Walsh?”

  Jimmy’s eyes widened. He looked down at his hands, unsure. “He was the coach at Chillingham High.”

  “Yep. You was talkin’ to him. That’s why you made sure you played your best in them games.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “Bucinski knew you was flunkin’. That’s why he made you do all them sprints. Standard procedure at Kendall, do bad in class and you paid for it in practice. That way you’d do better next time.”

  “Is that what he told you?”

  “He was just followin’ policy. Seein’ how far the team was goin’ and you only a freshman, he saw a big future for Kendall basketball. He planned to build the team around you for the next three years. He already had it laid out. It ain’t just about you. He had dreams, too.”

  “I never made any trouble for him.”

  “No? Why d’ya think you never started a game? Here you was, the best player on the team, best in the league by far and you’re comin’ off the bench.”

  “Did you ask him about that, George?”

  “Sure I did.”

  “What did he say?”

  “You wouldn’t learn his system, didn’t make any effort to learn the plays. He knew you was his instant offense, shut down player when an opponent got a hot hand. But he also knew the only way you and the team could get really good was by playin’ within the system. He figured Kendall’s first ever state championship was there for the takin’. Not that year, but sometime in the next three with you at the center of things, playin’ with discipline in his system.”

  “He never said anything to me.”

  “Here we was this tiny school with four hundred students goin’ up against them bigger schools round Boston. Before you arrived we won maybe half our games, but we wouldn’a won none without Bucinski’s system. In order to get a state championship he knew Kendall would have to beat much tougher teams who was disciplined. You on the floor and leadin’, even if the other team keyed on you, as long as Kendall played within his system, we’d have a chance.”

  “He ruined it for everybody; me, the team and the school.”

  “You’re kiddin’ yourself. What happened with Duffy Walsh?”

  “What difference does it make?”

  “You go back to New York without this cleared up and nothin’s gonna change.”

  “I called him.”

  “When?”

  “During the season.”

  “Why? He wasn’t your coach. You was a Kendall boy.”

  “I wanted to play for him.”

  “What’d he say?”

  “To stay at Kendall and work hard.”

  “He didn’t encourage you?”

  “No.”

  “But you kept callin’ him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Same answer every time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then what?”

  Jimmy gave in. “I went to a
s many of Chillingham’s games as I could. They played on different nights than us. I tried to learn Duffy’s plays so I would be ready when I got there the next year.”

  “That why you ignored Bucinski’s playbook?”

  “Yes, two different systems. I didn’t want to learn one only to have to learn another one later.”

  “Walsh talk to you at them games?”

  “No. He didn’t know what I looked like. I kept a low profile.”

  “When was the last time you talked to him?”

  “I called the day before the second playoff game. The one we lost.”

  “What did you say to him?”

  “I asked him to come to the game. Chillingham got bounced from the sectionals the night before. I wanted him to see me play.”

  “Now we’re gettin’ somewhere. What’d he say?”

  “He said he’d think about it, but only to cheer Kendall on. He still told me to work hard, stay at Kendall and forget about coming to Chillingham.”

  “You know what he did?”

  “I don’t think he showed.”

  “He called Bucinski.”

  “What?” Jimmy could not hide his shock.

  “Bucinski told me. He said Walsh called him the day of the game and explained what was goin’ on. He didn’t want him thinkin’ that he was poachin’. Did you know that was a violation of the Coaches Association rules?”

  Jimmy hung his head. “No.”

  “I think the rest is true enough. Knowin’ Bucinski, I ain’t gonna doubt your story about him hittin’ you. He told me about the team meetin’ before the game. He said he explained everything about what you done. That was a mistake. The rest of the team didn’t need to know. Alls that was gonna do was get them down and make you an outcast. I told’m that, too.”