Hilariously Ever After

by Box Set

  Brantley curled one hand around the back of my neck and kissed me. At odds with the way he’d fucked me, it was gentle and sweet, and seemed to say so many things I couldn’t figure out.

  “Oh no,” I whispered when he pulled away.

  “What?” Alarm tinged his tone, and he met my eyes.

  I sighed. “Now, it’s going to be awkward when I leave. And I have to leave, or everyone and their mother will be discussing the fact I didn’t.”

  He blinked at me, then burst out laughing. “Is that it?”

  “That and I have a healthy amount of come dripping down my leg right now.”

  He tilted his head, lips twitching. “Let me get you a towel for that.”

  “That would be great, thanks,” I deadpanned. And squeezed my legs shut.

  God, that doesn’t happen in porn, does it?

  Never mind porn giving men unrealistic ideas about a pair of tits—it’d given me an unrealistic expectation of how clean wall sex was.

  Which was not at all.

  “Here.” Brantley handed me a black towel, and I stuffed it between my legs in the most unladylike way possible. He laughed at me again. “Now, for the second problem… Since you like to run, would it help if I used the bathroom and be in there just long enough for you to get dressed and leave? No awkward goodbyes, no nothing that you tend to avoid.”

  Huh.

  That wasn’t a bad idea.

  I nodded. “Let’s go with that. It’ll save me doing something stupid like thank you for the orgasm on my way out.”

  He pressed his lips together, shoulders shaking. “Right. Well, I’m going to use the bathroom.”

  I nodded again, casting my gaze around for my clothes. Bra…shirt…shorts…

  “Oh, and, Kali? You’re welcome for the orgasms.”

  I grimaced. Ah, well. He knew I was awkward anyway.

  The sound of his laughter accompanied his exit, and I quickly wiped my legs and between my thighs. God, sex was gross. They really needed to teach that in sex ed.

  I gathered my clothes, shoving my bra and shirt on quickly. My plaid shirt was a crumpled mess on the back of the sofa, but whatever. The only thing I couldn’t find was my panties.

  Where the hell had he put them?

  Another quick look, and I had to cringe and throw on my shorts without them. There was only so long Brantley could pretend to be in the bathroom.

  I grabbed the rest of my things and paused at the front door.

  Did I shout goodbye? That I’d see him tomorrow at ten?

  Shit.

  I opened the door and ran before I really made a fool out of myself.

  Chapter 22

  I stared at the ceiling. My alarm had gone off an hour ago, but I’d barely moved from bed since. Not that it mattered, because I didn’t have any work to do first thing this morning.

  What I did have was a healthy dose of regret for the decision I made last night. Except this time the regret wasn’t because of what I’d done, it was because I didn’t feel bad about it at all.

  No. For the first time since I’d met Brantley I was…happy. It felt right. The guilt was there because it shouldn’t have, but no amount of staring at the plain white ceiling would make me feel any differently about what we’d done.

  I sighed and rubbed my hand over my face. If I thought it had been awkward after we kissed, I didn’t know what I was gonna say to him today.

  More to the point, I didn’t know how I was going to cope with the realization that I had feelings for this man. It was weird that it had taken sex for me to realize that I had genuine feelings for him, but hey, my life was weird, and so I didn’t expect this to be any different.

  The next issue, of course, was what I was going to do about the feelings. Which was, at this point, not a damn lot. What was I supposed to do? After all, he’d moved her to escape the death of his wife. I couldn’t exactly try to convince him to have a relationship.

  Not that I wanted a relationship.

  Besides, even if I did want a relationship, falling for a man with children was never in my plan. Except, of course, these weren’t just any kids. Eli and Ellie were different—and, dammit. I wasn’t just falling for their dad, I was falling for them, too.

  And that was the biggest problem.

  Avery time I looked at them, I saw myself. I saw myself as the five-year-old girl who lost her mother. Granted, they lost their mother a lot younger age than I had, but it didn’t change the fact I knew how it felt to grow up without one.

  Not that it meant that it was my job to take over as their mom.

  Not that I thought I could. You didn’t just take over a job like that, after all.

  See? This was exactly why I didn’t want to fall for somebody who had kids. There were too many questions, almost a strange kind of etiquette that came of this situation. And I didn’t know how to handle it. I was too flighty to handle it.

  But…was there a way to handle it? I knew my stepmother had. Portia had never had an issue, at least that’s not what it seemed. To me, she’d stepped smoothly into the role of being a parent although she never had any kids of her own. Maybe that was why she was able to. Her maternal instincts had been there after all and it had never been her choice not to have children but one that the universe is decided for her.

  The difference was, I’d never wanted to have children.

  It had never even been in my plans. Never considered, never been anything I’d ever particularly wanted.

  Well, until now.

  At least, I thought I wanted that.

  Maybe, I just wanted Ellie and Eli.

  It was a strange feeling. I never thought I’d find myself falling in love with somebody else’s children. The problem was, Ellie and Eli were so very easy to fall in love with. Sure, they fought, but what kids didn’t?

  No, the best part of their relationship was the way they loved each other even when they were screaming at each other. Not to mention they were both just so adorable it would be hard not to love them anyway.

  With a sigh, I pushed the bed sheets to the side and climbed out of bed. I’d laid still long enough, and it was time to get up and do something. Even if that thing was only walking to the coffee machine.

  Not that walking to the coffee machine didn’t achieve anything, and, honestly, it felt like the only thing I could do right now.

  Because I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to say to Brantley when I saw him this morning.

  I couldn’t exactly be like, “Oh, hey, thanks for the sex last night, I’m going to build your kids wardrobe now.”

  No. Ugh.

  What was I saying about not regretting last night?

  Stupid me. I’d spoken too soon.

  I walked into the bathroom to a doubletake in the mirror. There were dark bags beneath my eyes and my hair was messed up beyond belief.

  Honestly, I looked like I’d been in a fight with a bush and lost.

  I turned on the shower, and stared at myself in the mirror while the water ran behind me. I looked like shit. My make-up was smudged, giving me dark circles under my eyes. My dry lips still held hints of my red lipstick where I hadn’t bothered to wash my face before going to sleep last night.

  And I didn’t even include the zip that was coming up on the side of my nose. Great. Just great.

  I took a deep breath and grabbed my face cloth. I dipped it under the flow of water coming from the shower and wiped my face until all traces of yesterday’s make-up had gone.

  I sighed heavily, stripped off, and got into the shower.

  Letting the water rush over me, I tried to relax. It wasn’t working. So many horror theories about what would happen when I saw Brantley were swirling around in my head. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. Was it because I knew he wasn’t really in a position to have a relationship? Or was it because I knew no matter how much I liked him this wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted?

  Was it just because he was a closet dirty talker?
<
br />   I shivered as the memory of last night washed over me. Everything is thought about him had been proven different. I’d only ever seen as this funny, sexy guy, who was a great dad.

  But, last night sent me a different side of him. It’d shown me this alpha male who wasn’t afraid to take charge, and make me do something that had made me blush as hard as I’d come. I certainly hadn’t expected him to get me off and looked me in the eye while I came.

  Yeah.

  Dear God. How was I supposed to look him in the eye, knowing that he knew exactly what I looked like when I came?

  Jesus, I was a mess.

  I quickly washed my hair and soaked off before I got myself into even more of a mess than I was already in. By the time I turned off the shower water, I’d gone over fifty different scenarios about what was going to happen when I finally got to the Cooper house.

  All of them involved me blushing like crazy and him smirking at me. Which, to be honest, was exactly what was going to happen.

  With any luck he’d be taking the kids out, and I’d be able to just walk in, go upstairs, and get on with it.

  I dressed in my usual uniform and towel dried my hair before putting the damp locks into a braid that hung over my shoulder.

  The best thing to do was get there and get this over and done with.

  Even if it sucked.

  Unfortunately for me, when I pulled up outside the house, Brantley’s car was parked in the driveway.

  Great.

  I sat inside my truck for a minute before taking a deep breath, getting out, and grabbing my tools from the back.

  My heart thumped a little too hard as I approached the front door. It swung open before I could even knock, and Ellie stood in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of Disney Princess panties.

  Waell, I guess it was better than the inexplicable time Eli had answered the door wearing a superhero cape, his underwear, and red rain boots. At least this one could be explained by her getting dressed.

  “Ellie!” shouted Brantley from inside. “Get back in here and finish getting dressed or we’re not going anywhere!”

  “It’s Kawi!” she shouted, giving me a cheeky grin before running back inside.

  I hesitated only for a second before I walked into the hallway and shut the front door behind me.

  “I know it’s Kali,” said Brantley. “I can see her car outside. Will you now please finish getting dressed?”

  I took a few tentative steps towards the front room door, my stomach turning as I did. Looking in, I saw that he had his back to me and was currently wrestling with Eli about which hole you are went into which hole your head went into. Apparently, Eli kept putting his head through the armhole, meaning both straps of his tank top were on one shoulder and only one arm was through.

  “Daddy, where are my shorts?” asked Ellie. “Dey were here a mimmit ago.”

  Brantley sighed, finally getting Eli’s head and arms through the right holes of his superhero shirt. He turned to look at Ellie. “I’m going to say they are wherever you thre them five minutes ago when you were having a tantrum.” He raised eyebrows at her.

  Ellie put her hands on her hips. “I did not had a tantwum,” she said. “I was just shawing my annoyance.”

  “Whatever you say,” said Brantley. “I’m calling it a tantrum. I don’t care what you want to call it. Just go and find your clothes.”

  Eli slowly raised his hand pointing his middle finger up at the ceiling. Brantley tilted his head back to look up at what he was pointing at. I, too, followed the line of sight, and had to stifle a giggle when I saw what Eli had spotted.

  Ellie’s shorts were hanging from the light fixture.

  Brantley buried his head in his hands.

  I guess it been that kind of morning for him.

  With a sigh, he stood and pulled the shorts from the light fixture. He tossed them Ellie’s way, with a stern look for her to get dressed.

  Then, finally, he turned to me, meeting my eyes. It took all for two seconds for a red-hot blush to work its way through my cheeks. Hell, if he was thinking what I was thinking in this moment—which was how it felt to be against the wall with him fucking me—then I didn’t know how he wasn’t blushing himself.

  He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Ellie was getting dressed before walking towards me. A slow, easy smile stretched across his handsome face. “Morning,” he said, his voice low.

  I cleared my throat and scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. “Morning,” I replied. “Is all the flatpack furniture still in the garage?”

  He nodded. “Sorry. I didn’t realize that what you are doing today or I would have taken upstairs for you.”

  I shrugged one shoulder. “It’s okay,” I said. “I was hoping to build their closets today.”

  Brantley nodded. “Let me help you carry them upstairs before I take the kids out.”

  “No, no. It’s okay. I can do it.”

  He quirked an eyebrow, smirking. “No, I’m helping you.”

  I opened my mouth to argue further, but the way he was looking at me told me that it would be futile. So, instead of arguing, I decided to give in and let him help me. He was going to do anyway.

  He poked his head into the front room to see if the kids were okay. They’d both made their way onto the sofa and, they were, for now, sitting and watching TV nicely. He motioned with his hand to me to follow him.

  I put down my toolbox at the bottom of the stairs and following him towards the door in the kitchen that led to the garage.

  The boxes were where we’d left them when the delivery came and I rifled through them and the delivery note to find the box that Ellie’s closet was in.

  “Here, it’s this one,” said Brantley. He tapped the box at the very back.

  I sighed. Of course, it would be the one at the back where we’d have to move about six boxes to be able to get to it. “All right.” I stared at it. “It looks really heavy.”

  He smirked. “That’s exactly why I’m here to help you.

  “Are you saying I’m weak?” I raised an eyebrow teasingly.

  The smirk transformed into a grin. “No. If you were weak, then my shoulders wouldn’t look like they’d been in a fight with a tiger.”

  Once again, my cheeks flushed bright red. “Yes, well,” I paused. I didn’t know what to say to that.

  Amusement danced in his eyes. He grabbed a box, his biceps flexing as he moved it. “Aside from not raising my children to be assholes, I think my life’s mission is to make you blush every time I see you.”

  “I take issue with that mission.” I pushed a box across the floor.

  “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

  “I don’t like it.”

  “You want my kids to grow up to be assholes?”

  I frowned at him. “That’s not the one I was talking about, and you know it.”

  “I know.” He grabbed a box that held Eli’s dresser and stacked it against the other wall. “But, you’re also really adorable when you frown, so I might make you do that, too.”

  “I’m not adorable. Puppies are adorable. Kittens, rabbits, hell, even baby goats are adorable.” I sniffed and rested my hands on top of the closet box. “I. Am. Not. Adorable.”

  “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I don’t care much for rabbits.”

  “Neither do I, but that doesn’t mean they’re ugly.”

  He held his hands up. “I think you’re adorable. Especially right now, when you’re trying to glare at me with your nose all wrinkled up.”

  I clapped my hand over my nose. “Can we not talk about this? I have work to do.”

  “We can not talk about this right now. Grab your end of the box and lift it up on three. One, two, three.”

  We both picked it up.

  Shit, it was heavy.

  “Thank you,” I said as we carried it through the kitchen to the hallway.

  “I said right now,” Brantley continued, taking the first stair and glan
cing over his shoulder.

  I was really taking the brunt of the weight of this box, and my arms were shaking. “What is right now supposed to mean?”

  “It means we still have to have a conversation.”

  “A conversation? About what?”

  “Well, for a start, about the fact your thong is in my washing machine.”

  I almost dropped the box.

  He stopped. “Are you all right?”

  “Why the hell is my thong in your washing machine?”

  Moving again, he said, “Because you forgot to put it back on last night before you left, and I thought you’d appreciate me cleaning it for you.”

  I exhaled slowly. “And here I was, thinking we could avoid mentioning anything about last night.”

  “Why would we do that? Seeing you blush every ten seconds is much more fun.”

  “You have a warped idea of fun.”

  “Coming from the woman who uses a paintbrush as a microphone.”

  We reached the top of the stairs and I let go of the box. “Look,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “First of all, I did that one time. One. Time. Second, I have a large hoard of very adoring fans in your backyard who were incredibly honored to have witnessed such a fabulous display of entertainment from me.”

  His lips twitched. “You had one fan in the doorway who enjoyed watching your shake your ass for two minutes straight.”

  I blinked at him. “I might be late to the party, but we’ve definitely shattered any illusion of professionalism here, haven’t we?”

  Brantley shoved the box into Ellie’s room and, then, very slowly, turned to me with one eyebrow raised. “Yes. I figured that out last night. Right about the time I was eight inches deep inside you.”

  I coughed on thin air. My cheeks burned again, and his lips formed a smirk.

  “What’s that? Three times today? I’m on fire. Like your cheeks.”

  “Oh my god!” I took the last two steps and smacked my hand against his chest. “You infuriating man.”

  He grinned, leaning against the doorframe as I passed him. “If I kissed you right now, would you slap me again? It was kind of hot.”