Dazzled and Dazed

by Carson Mackenzie

  Jet grinned, which I was glad to see he bounced back so quickly. “The girls are going to go nuts.”

  I shook my head. “Probably, but we need to play this out. They keep asking when I am having a signing, and there is no way. I don’t need them to start being suspicious. I haven’t done the book thing in months because of what was going on. Plus, I have the new book releasing in a week, which means I’ll need to step up the promoting. So, I am going to need to tell my brothers sooner rather than later, ‘cause there is going to be times that I won’t be around to help out.”

  Jet nodded. “Okay, Brit is going to be working for a while today, she already told us that. Let’s wake her up, tell her we need to get to work, and then leave while she’s getting ready. That way we will be long gone from the coffee shop when the girls figure it out, and then arrive there. You know they will go.”

  I grimaced. “So, I’m not the only one who’s a little afraid the women will catch us? I mean, I know I eventually have to come clean, but since we’ve been chatting with them now, I kinda feel as if they’re gonna freak and get pissed. Hell, Brit I could handle, but Petal tried to set a man on fire, Mel is ex-military slash security slash boxer slash who knows what else because the woman doesn’t talk about her military career other than she served, and Zoey is seriously hormonal. I need to plan out how to tell them. And my brothers, too. That may take some alcohol strength.”

  “Fuck yeah you are,” Jet said, and then turned back toward the door. “Maybe we need to get some really strong rope to tie her up with first before we tell her. But your mom, Sonia, and Ms. Maddie may lead the revolt.”

  I shook my head. Unfortunately, it was a distinct possibility. “We can tell Fin and Tony, better yet Falon. The only secrets he has ever been able to keep is his own. He will blab and get the wrath of the women while we sit back and let them cool down. Then we can approach, and be golden with zero chance of getting hit.”

  Jet laughed, “Good plan, maybe we should ask Falon to meet us for lunch.”

  I smiled, “Yeah, now let’s go and get this shit sorted.”

  “Damn it all to hell!” Brit yelled behind the closed door, and in the next second Jet threw open the door, and we both entered to see Brit running around the bedroom as she stopped at intervals and bent and picked up her clothing.

  “Babe, slow down. What’s wrong?” I asked and stepped farther into the room. Brit’s head whipped toward us as she began to rapidly put her clothes on. The look she wore stopped us in our tracks.

  “I shouldn’t be here. It’s daylight,” she said, and it sounded muffled since she had her shirt halfway over her head.

  “Oo-kay. Daylight usually follows after night,” Jet said as her head popped through the neck of her shirt. The eyes that glared at Jet made me glance toward him to see if he burst into flames.

  “Duh! But I should have been next door this morning. Angelique doesn’t need to be in the house alone at night. See, you’re already trying to tame me, and it isn’t going to work,” Brit said and moved passed us. She was through the door before either of us moved.

  “Wait a damn minute!” I yelled to her back.

  “I don’t have a minute. I need to check on Angelique, and then shower to make it to the office. I have to get my work done before the lunch date.” Brit had the front door opened as Jet and I reached the bottom of the stairs.

  “What fucking lunch date?” Jet snarled, then we both stepped out on the porch when Brit didn’t stop.

  “With Reilly and Anthony Sr.,” Brit said as she cut across the grass.

  “My dad?” I asked as she pulled her key out and opened the door.

  “How many Reillys do you know? Never mind, I don’t have time for this. You both drive me crazy.” The door slammed shut behind her, and I looked over at Jet. He shrugged.

  “Well, looks like we don’t have to worry about getting caught at the coffee shop.”

  “True, but I think she got the last part wrong. She is the one making us crazy.” Jet chuckled and slapped me on the back.

  “Just be glad our insurance covers mental health. No doubt we will need it.” I nodded and walked into the house with the knowledge that life, as I knew, was going to change. All because of one small, blond woman.

  Jet and I pulled up outside the coffee shop, and I looked at it. Brit’s favorite place, yeah this would be cool.

  Brit wasn’t happy about sleeping the whole night with us, but she would get used to it. Taylor was going to pick her up that morning, so Jet and I waited until he got there for her and Angelique before we had left.

  “Okay, I will grab the books, the owner is running behind, but she said the barista knows what to do,” I said, and Jet nodded.

  “Hey, I’m here for the coffee, dude, so do what you gotta do, and then we will head to the gym.”

  We climbed out of the car and looked around. This coffee shop was close enough to the gym as well as to the houses so they would be able to get here when I posted. Plus, my agent had fixed the post, so literally, only the girls would see it. No one else until they were able to get theirs. Then she would change the setting. Hell, even the car I was driving wasn’t mine, it was a rental I picked up yesterday and parked in a nearby garage, and we swapped vehicles before going to the shop. Truthfully, at one time or another, all the guys had done it to make sure there was always a car that no one would be able to recognize.

  I pulled out the box and looked inside. I increased the load today because the women would each get one of my books and the rest would be for the other women who would come to pick one up. I was happy to say, so far, not one coffee shop had asked me to return and pick up any remaining; in fact, several of the shops asked if they could keep a book for their small reading shelves and asked for more for their loyal customers as well. My agent said it was because when the women came in for the signed books, they bought coffee, food, and lingered. As in lingered so long other customers began to notice. It was good for their business, and I was happy to help as long as I was never identified. I carried the large box and waited while Jet opened the door before stepping through. I took a deep breath, damn I needed a cup, and thank goodness there was no line.

  We walked up to the counter, and I spied the barista who looked like he was twelve and had the zits to prove he wasn’t through puberty. I set the box down on the counter, and he looked at Jet and I like he was confused.

  “Um...is there something I can help you with?” the young kid croaked. I looked at his name tag.

  “Yeah, Jeremy; Melinda, your boss, said you would know what to do with these.” I sat the box on the counter and pushed it toward him.

  The boy looked into the box, and then back up at me and looked even more confused and said, “Um, I don’t…I mean, I can’t…”

  Jet shook his head and said, “Maybe you should give your boss a call.”

  “Well, normally I would, but this morning the normal manager, Kim, called in sick, she thinks her kid gave her the flu, which I am sure had to be bad ‘cause Kim never calls in sick. Anyway, so Melinda called this morning and said she would be late getting in, and to make sure everything was, you know, cleaned and stuff. But she didn’t tell me anything about um...well you know, books like this,” Jeremey said, and his face turned red. I wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or because he hadn’t taken a breath while he spoke.

  I knew what he was talking about because the cover was very provocative. There was little doubt about the kind of book it was. The poor kid probably still got freaked out when he had a boner in the morning. Because there was no way he was getting laid. If he had been, most of the acne would have been cleared up. My brothers and I had all went through the acne phase, but once we started having sex, well...our skin began to clear. It’s documented that sex helps balance the hormones in a teenager. Yeah, we used that statement when our dad found the condoms. As teenage boys though, we looked at it as win-win: sex with girls and clearer skin to attract more girls.

  “Okay,�
�� I said with a sigh. “Get us two cups of coffee, and we will wait until Melinda gets here.”

  Jeremy let out a breath of relief and said, “Thanks, man, ‘cause this is like my second week, and I really don’t want to lose this job, too, my parents would freak.”

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed the box and looked at Jet. “Can you grab the coffee while I go and give Melinda a call, and then we will post something online about the delay. I know people are waiting for this.”

  Jet nodded, stepped closer to the counter, and waited while Jeremy filled our cups. I walked to a table in the corner and sat down then dialed Melinda’s number. The woman answered right away and apologized. I finished the conversation right when Jet brought our coffees and donuts he had purchased.

  “So?” he said and sat down.

  “Well, she is gonna be about an hour longer. So, we wait. Sorry, man, it puts us behind schedule,” I replied and took a sip of my steaming black coffee.

  Jet shrugged. “No worries, I wasn’t sparring with Reed again until later. I was gonna get a workout in beforehand.”

  I nodded and pulled out my phone and pulled up the Facebook app and grinned at Jet. “There is a message from Angelique. She wants to know if possibly I was going to attend some big book signing in Manhattan. They are mad fans.”

  Jet grinned. “What are you posting?”

  I thought for a minute, and then said, “I’ll make it only so they can see the post, tease them a little about where there might be books today.”

  I hit the button to write a post, and then hit another to choose who would see it and who wouldn’t. Damn phone, the screen was small, and my fingers kept hitting the wrong thing. But when I finally got it, I re-read the post, then hit send.

  I pushed the phone over to Jet who grinned, and I saw his smile fade, and I said, “What, it was perfect?”

  Jet looked up at me with panic in his eyes. “Oh shit!”

  “What?” I snapped and grabbed the phone. “What? They are liking it. Look, Brooklyn, Zoey, Mom…”

  “Look at the fucking locator!” Jet yelled as he stood and moved to look out the windows in a panic.

  I stared down at my phone with a frown at the likes from all the women in my family. I clicked the like button to see if they’d all seen it. Yep, every one of them. Fuck, Petal even said ‘Fucking A' in the comments. I stood and looked around.

  “How long?” I snapped, and Jet looked at his watch and frowned as though he was calculating.

  “We have like five minutes,” he said and looked back out the window.

  I looked at the counter where only one man stood to wait, and I grabbed the books off the table and walked quickly to the counter, pushing the man aside and said, “Brother, I will buy your breakfast, but I need to talk to Jeremy quickly.” The guy grunted but nodded, which was a good sign. I didn’t have time to kick the shit out of anyone. “Okay, little man, your boss is late, and I need you to do me a solid. In the next three minutes, a group of women will come storming in here. Point to the books on the counter when they ask. Now, my friend, I need a place to hide because we can’t make it out fast enough.”

  I heard the screech of tires, and I turned. I felt the blood as it rushed from my face. Jet was already running around the counter, and I followed all the time yelling, “Okay, I will buy that guy’s breakfast.”

  Jet got to the back of the small corridor and dropped to the ground when the bell over the door sounded, as did I. Okay, well...sprawled, and then rolled to the side.

  Jet

  I scrambled on my hands and knees into the office. Fuck, how the mighty have fucking fallen. This was a new low. I turned and peeked out the door and saw Brooklyn enter the coffee shop, and I grimaced. We were stuck. I whispered to Sean, “Dude, they can still see you.”

  They could, Sean had rolled against the wall where the edge of the wall had a slight indent, but as big as he was, just didn’t work. “Fuck,” Sean muttered under his breath and moved in between a large coffeemaker and ice machine. He pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped them around his legs and pulled them close. “Jesus, I’m too big to do this.”

  “Stop being a pussy, they will hear us,” I hissed at him, and Sean glared at me.

  “Try stuffing your thighs like this,” Sean groaned. “Who is here?”

  I slowly peeked again and saw Brooklyn and Maria had joined her. The young barista was shifting back and forth on his feet like he was anxious. It was too obvious, he was going to give us away. I lowered my voice, “Shit, I don’t think Jeremy can handle it, he is gonna fold. It’s Maria and Brooklyn.”

  Sean shook his head. “Nah, he is good. Oh, shit, I have a cramp in my calf. Move, I’m gonna try to get to you.”

  I shook my head and whispered, “Fuck no, you can’t. Angelique is here with Mia. Just sit still while I watch. I swear if we get caught we will never hear the end of this shit.”

  Sean muttered and complained as I told him blow-by-blow what was happening. “Jeremy is pointing to the books and telling them something. There are like five other people in the store. They are staring but remaining in line for coffee, but they are watching. I hope like fuck they don’t grab one of the books. They are all smiling and shit. Dude, it’s kinda weird your sister is picking one up. So, I gotta block that out, no more thinking that shit. Brit isn’t here yet.”

  “Okay, stop talking about my sister, because yeah, I will have nightmares. I still consider her a virgin. And there are a few extras so we should be good if someone else takes one,” Sean said.

  I heard a loud noise and stretched a little further to see outside the front window, and I saw Petal on her bike pulling right up between two cars, just squeezing her bike in as if that shit wasn’t illegal.

  “Petal is here; she rode her bike,” I said and watched as she got off and moved quickly to the door.

  She opened the door and yelled, “How did you bitches get here so fast? I had to tell my client I would be back. The poor dude is sitting in my piercing chair.” Someone said something we couldn’t hear, but whatever it was they said made Petal snap, “Dude, I don’t even know you, so no comments. And for your information, I already pierced his dick. He just needed some time before he stood. Even big burly men get a little weak-kneed when the pecker bleeds.”

  We could hear the male’s voice from across the shop, and I frowned. I couldn’t make out what he said, and I hadn’t paid any attention to who else had entered in the shop.

  “Fuck, where did that man come from? I hope the dude knows what he’s getting into,” Sean whispered. But apparently, the man didn’t.

  “I was joking, motherfucker. For your information, I happen to be the best piercer in the area. But I wouldn’t pierce your dick if you paid triple and your schlong was made of gold.”

  I closed my eyes. What was wrong with the women of this family? It was like they all took a class ‘Turn into a Nut 101.’ Even Brit. If she was here, I had no reason not to believe she would have stood with Petal and gotten a bit bitchy. Petal needed a fucking warning sign put on her back. ‘Warning: Your ass getting torched if you piss me off is HIGH.'

  “Okay, stop bothering me. Can’t you see I am here with my besties and we are picking out our favorite erotic author’s books? Damn, you need an education in communication because you suck. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, BITCHES I BE HERE!”

  “Can you see what they’re doing?” Sean asked.

  I stretched a little more and covered my mouth and tried not to laugh when Brooklyn turned and held up a book. “Check it, sista; she left her whole series!”

  Petal moved closer and but looked over her shoulder, “Where is she? Please, for the love of Harleys, tell me it isn’t the chick with the guy who has a stick up his ass?”

  Angelique was the one to answer her, “We apparently missed her.”

  Jeremy finished with the line he had, and said, “My boss is not gonna like it if you don’t order something.”

  “How old are you?” Maria said,
and I grimaced when the kid shrugged.

  “Eighteen. But what does that have to do with ordering anything?” I crouched back down and looked at Sean.

  “Jeremy may not live to be nineteen,” Sean said, and I nodded.

  “Well, when you are older you will actually understand why were standing off to the side, instead of blocking the people who are in line. You see, we were planning on getting a cup of coffee already, but we wanted to get the books first so we could get our coffee, and then sit around a table and talk about the sex scenes in the book. But we didn’t want to be rude to the other people in the shop,” Mia said sassily.

  Brooklyn laughed. “Don’t worry, we are gonna to order coffee. We are just waiting for…” When she didn’t finish, and the bell from the door ding again, I shifted up to take another peek.

  “Moms at twelve o’clock.”

  Sean groaned and whispered, “They need to move so I can move. I’m dying here. I can’t feel my fucking toes. These jeans are cutting off the circulation. I swear if I get out of here, no more of this shit. I’m letting my agent do it all from now on.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Drama much. Besides, it is your fault, you are the author who is hiding behind your pen name. I mean, I get it, because you know most of the authors are women, and your brothers alone will have a field day, but damn, brother, come out already!” I wanted to laugh when Sean raised his middle finger but didn’t let go of his legs.

  “Oh my God, this one is my favorite. Do you remember when they had sex in the sauna?” Sonia said, and I covered my ears.

  “No, no, no, do not picture it, do not!” I chanted. “I’m gonna need fucking therapy!” I hissed, and Sean growled.

  “Dude, I’m gonna need a chiropractor, so quit whining! Didn’t you say earlier our insurance covers mental health?”

  “Fuck you.”

  “No thanks. But if we don’t get out of here soon, my dick might be crooked like Bogdan’s, and I’m not even going to discuss the pain from my Jacob piercing my dick is experiencing,” Sean said, and I flipped him off. Bent like he was, his piercing had to be pinching.