by Holly Jacobs
He’d noticed her flinching, her stepping back. He said he had an idea of what happened to her in the past.
“My—” father was a drunk, she wanted to say. I grew up thinking that bruises were part of a stylish woman’s fashion accessories. She tried to force the words out. I grew up sitting on a swing and listening to my father beat my mother. But she’d bottled the story, the words, up for so many years, and like the one other time she’d tried to share them, they got stuck and she couldn’t speak, no matter how much she was tempted to.
She trusted Sebastian Bennington more than anyone she’d ever met, and still she couldn’t tell him the truth. Instead, she frowned and said, “I like ice cream.”
Maybe that was the right thing to say because Sebastian laughed. “What kind?”
* * *
SEBASTIAN HAD ACCEPTED Lily’s kindness when he told her about his car accident. He’d told her about his anger, that he’d felt guilty, and she seemed to understand. She’d called him honorable. And for a second, he thought she was going to tell him who’d hit her. Who had taught her to fear anger. He’d hidden his disappointment and forced a laugh when Lily told him she liked ice cream. But he was upset.
When she left for a house call, he left, too.
Sebastian crisscrossed Valley Ridge. He avoided Park Street. There were too many people he knew that might stop and want to talk. And talking was the last thing Sebastian wanted to do.
He’d been angry for so long that the feeling was like an old friend. And after talking to Lily today, he admitted that it was more than that—it was guilt. That he was here at home and he was safe, while his buddies were not.
He clenched his hand hard—the pain was almost welcome. He could deal with it so much easier than the awful feeling churning inside him.
Lily wouldn’t let him in. She’d have sex with him, but she wanted to keep it casual. She’d be his friend and Hank’s friend.
Thinking about Hank made not only his anger but also his guilt flare.
The neurologist had asked his grandfather a million questions. What’s the date? Repeat these five things back to me. Who’s the president?
Hank had laughed about his inability to name the president. He’d said that after Kennedy he tried to forget all of them. But Sebastian had seen how much his grandfather had been covering. And even if he hadn’t, Lily’s expression would have told him how bad the tests were going.
In his back pocket, Sebastian had one of the pamphlets the doctor had given them. The Seven Stages of Alzheimer’s. Hank fell somewhere between the third and fourth stage. He was still functioning but had some impairment. Impairment that Sebastian might have simply written off as old age if not for Lily.
Lily had stressed that the medication the doctor gave Hank couldn’t help him buy back the ground he’d already lost or stop the disease’s progression, but it could help stabilize him. It could buy him time.
Sebastian played the appointment over and over in his head. He needed to process the fact that this was as good as Hank would get and that things would get worse. How quickly they’d get worse, he couldn’t tell. There was no way of knowing, really. But the grandfather he knew and loved would surely fade away.
Sebastian knew that his plan to leave and discover the next chapter in his life was gone. His next chapter was here in Valley Ridge.
He didn’t have a notion as to what he’d do here. He knew that Seb, the wild child of his youth, was behind him. Lieutenant Bennington of the marines was gone, too. Now he was Sebastian. A man who owed his grandfather more than he could ever repay. He’d be here for Hank and figure out the rest somehow.
And maybe while he was figuring things out he’d be able to figure out Lily Paul, too.
She had completely surprised him after the doctor’s appointment. Instead of jumping into the what-are-we-going-to-do-now mode, she’d given him the space he’d asked for and had come to his bed.
Despite being so confused, he couldn’t help but smile at the memory.
He knew he hadn’t been himself since the accident. He’d spiraled out of control. He’d thought being in Valley Ridge for Colton’s wedding would help him find his feet and decide what he was going to do next, but instead, his life had continued to be topsy-turvy. When he was with Lily, he felt—
“Hey, Sebastian,” someone called.
He looked up and tried to decide where he was. He’d been walking so long without paying attention that he wasn’t sure.
He turned and spotted Joey. The two girls following after him had to be the sisters that Lily had mentioned.
He forced a smile. “Hi, Joey. And these beautiful ladies are?”
“Oh, that’s Allie and Mica, my sisters. They’re not beautiful, or ladies. Mica ate a quarter yesterday. Who does that?”
The two tiny blondes eyed him, not sure what to make of him. He knelt down. “I’m a friend of your brother’s. We had a great game of basketball not too long ago. How old are you ladies?”
They both giggled as he called them ladies for a second time, and Joey grimaced.
“I’m Allie and I’m seven, almost eight.” The younger one held up five fingers. “And that’s Mica. She don’t talk much, but she’s five and in kindergarten. I’m in third grade, even though I’m seven.” Her voice dropped to a stage whisper. “I’m very smart.”
“Oh, it’s nice to meet you both.” He stood up. “How’re things with you?” The boy was frowning so fiercely that Sebastian suspected they weren’t all that good. “Problems?”
“You girls can go in. Dad’s car’s here, so he’s back from therapy.”
The little girls bolted for the house.
“What’s wrong?”
“Some lady in town was looking for a babysitter, and I applied, but she told me she wanted a girl. That’s discrimination, but no one ever says anything about that. I mean, I’ve been watching the girls since forever. I used to walk Allie home from school and stop at the neighbor’s for Mica, then babysit them both until Dad got out of work. I can change diapers, and I’ve read the Wild Baby Book so many times I can recite huge chunks of it by heart. I’ve even had CPR classes, but the lady didn’t want to hear about any of that.”
Sebastian felt another surge of frustration. He couldn’t help Hank. He couldn’t get Lily to share more than her love of ice cream and reading, but maybe he could do something for this kid. “Do you need a job for a reason?”
“Well...” Joey scuffed his shoe on the ground.
“Joey, I know we’re not exactly friends, but if I can help, I will.” What he wouldn’t give to be able to help someone.
“It’s only that Dad’s been off work for a while. He gets disability money, but it’s not as much as his normal paycheck and things are tight. Allie wants to go to Girl Scout Camp this summer and I thought...”
“And you didn’t get the babysitting job.”
“No.”
“Would you consider some other jobs?”
“Like what?” Joey asked. “I don’t want pity.”
“I don’t blame you,” Sebastian said. “But it just so happens that Lily rents an apartment from my grandfather and there’s been some water damage. I could use an assistant while I fix it up.”
“That’s like charity.”
“That’s not what that is.” Sebastian held up his left hand. “It’s getting better, but I still have a lot of problems with small motor skills. That means holding a screw so I can put up drywall might be an issue. And dozens of other things that I’ll need help with. No sympathy here. Maybe some admiration, though. I like seeing someone who doesn’t moan about their circumstances but picks up and does what they can.” Even as he said the words, Sebastian realized that he’d done a lot of moaning.
Maybe it was time to start concentrating on what he could do rather than what he couldn’t. “I thought that between the two of us, we could get most of the work done.”
“I have to look after my sisters.”
“We’ll work around
that. I don’t have a proper job anywhere,” he said, but thought that was going to have to change. Hank’s diagnosis changed everything. However, right now he would concentrate on Lily’s apartment. “My schedule’s open. Could we start Saturday?”
“Yeah. I’ll do a great job for you,” Joey answered excitedly.
“Maybe you should introduce me to your father. We’ll run it by him.”
“Sure, come on.”
They went into the modest bungalow. The girls were sitting at the table, eating apples, and a man was talking to Mrs. Lorei.
“Mrs. Lorei,” Sebastian greeted Maeve Buchanan’s mother. She used to work at the diner and still brought in fresh eggs from the farm she owned with her second husband. “Nice to see you. How’s Maeve doing?”
“Seb Bennington, what mischief are you up to now?” she scolded as she gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. “My daughter’s doing fine. Thanks for asking.” Never one to beat around the bush, she took his scarred hand in hers and examined it with all the care of a surgeon. “I heard you got hurt. Are you okay now?”
“Getting better every day,” he said and realized it was so. “I’m having to relearn things like tying shoes—”
“I can tie my shoes,” Mica, the younger sister, said. “I can show you how if you want.”
“Thanks, Mica.” He smiled down at the young blonde. “I might take you up on that.”
“So what brings you here?” Mrs. Lorei asked.
“I came to meet Joey’s father.” He addressed the poor man who hadn’t been able to get a word in edgewise. “I’m Sebastian Bennington. I met Joey the other day on the basketball court.”
“Miss Lily was playing against him, with her hand tied behind her back,” Joey added. “I told you, Dad.”
“You did. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Ron.”
“Sebastian offered me a job,” Joey said. “His hand is messed up and he’s got to fix Miss Lily’s apartment. He said I’d be a help.”
“I need to hang new drywall and maybe replace the floor. I can handle the big stuff. It’s the smaller things that do me in.”
“I didn’t get that babysitting job. Seems moms only want girls,” Joey said, making the word girls sound like a curse. “What do you think?”
“I’ll vouch for Seb,” Mrs. Lorei offered. “He was a hellion growing up, but he’s now a fine, respectable man. He’s a marine.”
“Was a marine. Right now I’m in...flux.” When he used that last word, he thought of Lily, aka Webster, and smiled.
“I don’t see why not,” Ron said.
“Sebastian said he can work around when you need me for the girls,” Joey pressed.
“Hey, we can help,” Allie said, and her little sister nodded in agreement.
“This is a paying job,” Joey scoffed. “Dad never took kids to his paying job.”
“Dad,” Allie wailed.
Ron chuckled. “Your brother’s right.”
Sebastian saw a stubbornness in Allie’s eyes that reminded him of Lily, and it won him over. “I’ll tell you what, I may find a job that might work for two little girls, if you know any who’d be interested?”
“We would,” the girls said in unison.
“Only, we’re not little,” Allie informed him.
Mrs. Lorei rose. “Now that I’m done with providing this rascal his references, I’m off to city hall to complain to another reformed imp.”
“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked.
“There’s been a tree down on Longhorn Street for the better part of three days. I have to weave around it when I do the egg deliveries, and that’s not exactly safe. Someone was supposed to come get it, but no one has. We pay taxes and I expect—”
Sebastian interrupted her. “How big a tree?”
“It’s only a branch, but far too big for me to handle on my own, and big enough that even if he took a chain saw to it, my husband would probably kill himself trying to lift the pieces.”
“Why don’t I come over and check it out? If I can manage it, I’ll take care of it and save Mr. Lorei from doing himself in and the mayor from a tongue-lashing.”
“I’ll help,” Joey offered.
“Us, too,” the girls yelled.
“I’d offer, but...” Ron gestured to the prominent brace on his back.
“Well, if you can spare the kids, we’ll all walk over with Mrs. Lorei and see what we can do.”
“Them, too?” Joey asked.
“I’m thinking if the branch is that big, we’ll need some stick-picker-uppers.” He’d probably have to borrow Colton’s trailer and a chain saw. “Let’s go take a look and formulate a plan.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“THIS IS WAY COOLER than babysitting,” Joey said as they carried sheets of drywall into Lily’s apartment.
Sebastian studied the boy, who was balancing the other end of the drywall, and said, “I’d never thought about it, but yes, it probably is cooler than babysitting. Drywall doesn’t cry.”
“Or throw up, or wake up crying ’cause they miss their mom.” Joey spoke with authority.
“Sorry, kid.” Sebastian felt a kinship with Joey. They’d both lost their moms, but Joey had it worse because he was trying to pick up the slack for his younger sisters.
“‘It is what it is,’ my dad says.” They set the piece of drywall on the pile.
Sebastian flinched. His hand was definitely getting a workout. He massaged it gently.
“Sorry about your hand.”
Sebastian smiled, then started back outside for another sheet of drywall. “Lily’s been hounding me to find the silver lining.”
Joey laughed. “That sounds like her. Have you found one?”
“Maybe.” Sebastian nodded. “Definitely. For instance, if I hadn’t been frustrated because of my hand, Lily wouldn’t have challenged me to a game of one-handed one-on-one.”
Joey chuckled at the memory. “We still talk about her with her hand tied behind her back.”
“She wanted to prove I could still do things. I had to find new ways of doing them. I had to think outside the box. And then you and your friends came along.”
Joey grinned as he lifted his end. “So what you’re saying is, if you hadn’t hurt your hand we’d never have met?”
“Possibly. And that would have been my loss because you are a super kid.” They balanced the sheet of drywall and walked through the door to the apartment. “No, I take that back,” Sebastian said as they put the piece down.
“You take it back that I’m super?” Joey didn’t seem insulted.
“I take back the kid part.” Sebastian patted his shoulder. “You’re no child. Your friends are out running around and, if they’re anything like I was at the age, causing mayhem. While you’re here, keeping an eye on your sisters—”
“Actually, Lily’s keeping an eye on them.” Lily and the girls were in Hank’s kitchen.
“And you’re working here, earning money to send Allie to camp. You’ve been helping your dad at home, too. Those aren’t the things a normal kid does. Those are things a man does.”
Joey chewed on that for a while as they maneuvered the last piece of drywall onto the pile.
“Joey,” Sebastian started to say, then stopped. “Joe.”
The boy caught the distinction. “Why’d you call me Joe?”
“I had this friend Pontz in the marines. I went home with him one leave, and his family didn’t call him that. They called him Ponto and he kept correcting them. He said he’d outgrown his childhood nickname. He was Pontz now. When I came home this time, people called me Seb, and I discovered I wasn’t him anymore. Seb was a young boy. I’d left him behind and was Lieutenant Sebastian Bennington. That’s what I wanted to be called—not the whole thing, mind you, just Sebastian.” And who the hell that was going to turn out to be, he didn’t know.
“Names define you, I guess,” he continued. “You were Joey when you were a kid. But you’re not that kid anymore. You shouldn’t walk around
with a kid’s name—it no longer suits you. So, unless you object, I’ll call you Joe.”
Joe mulled that over. “Thanks, Sebastian.”
“Anytime, Joe.”
“And thanks for saying that other stuff. I mean, it sucks my mom’s not here and that Dad got hurt, but maybe Lily’s silver lining is I grew up because of it.”
Sebastian remarked, “You grew up well because of it.”
“And I know the kind of person I want to be.”
“Which is?” he asked.
“Someone like Lily—she always smiles, no matter what’s going on. When Dad had his accident, he was kind of tough to be around. She never noticed. She’d come to the house for the doctor, and Dad, he’d yell at her, and she just kept smiling and doing what she needed to do and acted like she didn’t know he was being mean. One day I came in and she was telling him a story and he was laughing. It was the first time I’d heard him laugh since Mom left.”
“Being as much like Lily as you can be would be a wise decision.” Sebastian realized that as he dealt with Hank’s health issues and with trying to figure out what to do next, he wanted to be more like Lily Paul, too.
“And I want to be like my dad,” Joe said. “He’d never leave, not like Mom did. Normally, he’s the nicest guy ever. No matter what pain he’s in, he’ll always take care of us and love us.”
Sebastian nodded and was surprised when Joe said, “And I want to be like you.”
“Me? Hey, be like Lily and your dad. I think those are much better choices.”
“Nah. You came home to Valley Ridge to be in a friend’s wedding. You’re a good guy. And you fought for your country. You even got hurt.”
Sebastian started to argue he didn’t get hurt fighting for his country. All the bitterness and guilt rose in his chest, but Joe continued talking. “You’re figuring out how to work around your problem. I’ve watched you trying different ways to do stuff ’cause of your hand. And you’ve been nice to me—some kid you didn’t even know. You even helped out Cam. He’s working for Mrs. Esterly now, for real, since he paid off his debt. You didn’t have to do that. Yeah, I think I’m adding you to my list.”