Fostering Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 1)

by Johns, Victoria

  Later the door flies open and in troops Neely, Chris, Sonny, Lottie and Flo with items of my belongings either stuffed in bags or being carried individually.

  “Neely, for Gods sake, you’re supposed to be my girl, whose side are you on? You’re my person not his, I expected you to ignore that shit, not drag everyone else into it.”

  “Hey crazy momma, are you kidding? We haven’t had this much voyeuristic fun since we stalked the bleachers at school trying to catch the football team making out. Your life is a soap opera.” I get up and grumble in her direction and then try and help.

  “Here let me take some, at least Oli was clever enough not to get involved, you lot are all on my shit list until hell freezes over.”

  “Hey Dolly, OK?”

  “Oli, why? Show some sense and stay out of this car crash, you’ve just made it to my bad list, it’s clear I’ve got no one.” Instead of helping, I decide they can go to hell; I slump on the couch instead and act like the invalid they all think I am.

  “Don’t look at me like that Dolly, this activity apparently constitutes the correct criteria for a fake date with my beloved.” He smiles about that, but Lottie doesn’t. That’s... Interesting.

  “OK Dolly, where do you want us to dump this stuff?” asks Chris.

  “Back in your bloody truck!”

  “Nice try, where?”

  “The bedroom on the left, the same side as the bathroom,” I shout.

  “Put her stuff in my room, the one opposite the bathroom mate,” Jonas orders as he comes in with more stuff.

  “WHAT! NO! That’s not my room.” What is he doing? Chris heads that way and starts to dump the stuff in the room as Jonas told him to, I follow and start to grab the stuff, but stumble when I see how beautifully kitted out it is. Come on Dolly, get your shit together, stay strong my brain urges. So I just grab anything and turn to the door only to see that Jonas, who has figured out my plan, is now blocking the door.

  “Easy way or the hard way Dalton and if you think I’m kidding try me,” he challenges.

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Yes I would and in front of all these people. My woman and my babies sleep with me. No arguments.”

  “WHAT!”

  “Last chance baby, are you in or is it game on?” he dares. That was how I found myself ambushed again. Into his life, his home, and finally his bed.

  Panic sets in so I turn and go outside. Neely follows me because she saw this coming. I’m raging though because she saw this coming and didn’t help me prepare myself or my heart. I’m on the verge of tears and there is no one to help me, no one who understands or is on my side. I sit on the edge of the decking and my head drops as my tears begin.

  “Dolly, what’s wrong?” she asks me and Jonas follows close behind her. I hate that he knows he’s affected me like this. I’m mad about the way he just carries on slotting me into his life.

  “What do you mean what’s wrong?” My voice is getting louder and louder than it needs to be and the tears really flow now, “I’ve been bullied into coming here with you,” I point at him, “I’m going to be living with someone who doesn’t want me and is trying to do right by the kids he’s conceived. That’s just ugly and it makes me feel shit and pathetic. I’m desperately trying to prepare myself for when you change your mind because it’s going to happen,” I sniff.

  “Come on, you don't know that,” Neely tries to reach for my hand, but I snatch it back and use it to wipe my nose in the same way a snotty kid does.

  “I do. Look, you’re not even denying it,” I’m pointing at him again. “You did it before. You’re chasing your chance at having a family and I just happen to be the fucking test tube cooking them.”

  “You’re being stupid Dolly and getting yourself all worked up for...”Neely looks horrified that I’m saying all this, but more because she is witness to Jonas being on the receiving end of it.

  “DON'T YOU DARE SAY FOR NOTHING, have you forgotten how you found me, because I haven’t and I’m terrified, this time I’ll be left destroyed with two fucking kids that will need me sane and I barely found my way out of that hole the last time.” I’m on my feet now, getting more worked up and animated by the second.

  “Dolly, honey, this is your chance to have what you always wanted and dreamed about. Who cares how it comes about?”

  “I CARE, I FUCKING CARE...AAARRRGGGGH,” and then I’m bent double clutching my side breathing deep and feeling winded. Jonas is at my side in an instant but his face is contorted into a painful mask.

  The things I’ve said, the awful thoughts I’ve truly been feeling are now out in the open. I can’t take them back because I believe them and if I can push him away, I’m saving myself having my heart destroyed in the long run.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  “Nothing,” I snap at him, “just leave me alone, I’m fine, just your pissing offspring are fucking break dancing.”

  Neely intervenes and takes over, “Let’s get you to your room for some rest, I’ll come with you,” she says as she guides me past him to go inside and then onto the bedrooms. I automatically go to mine and climb on the bed. The tears return, but not as aggressively as they’ve been during our discussion and she climbs on behind me, putting her arms around me. “It’ll work out, you’ll see.”

  The last thing I say before I fall asleep is “If I wasn’t pregnant he wouldn’t be with me. I’m so scared, that I love him too much and he doesn’t love me at all.”

  Chapter Twenty Two

  I wake up in an entirely different position than I was in when I fell asleep. For one I’m no longer in my room and my head is now in Jonas’s lap, while he plays with the strands and curls of my hair. When I stretch and look up at him he’s sat upright with his head against the huge headboard of his bed just gazing out of the window at the view. His bedroom appears to share the same view as the living area because the same glass has been extended as an identical feature. The room is gorgeous and the bed is a massive sleigh bed in a rich deep mahogany wood covered in wine covered bedclothes, pillows and cushions. It’s got a few simple furnishings like two bedside units with lamps and a matching dresser. There are two ornate doors set in one of the walls that are closed at the moment.

  “I need to use the bathroom,” I whisper and he moves a bit to help me up.

  “Door on the right,” he says.

  I head in through the door and it’s lush, it has a big stand alone tub in the middle that is clearly a feature of the room because it’s been placed to face more glass windows that are an extension of the ones in his room. There is a twin sink set and double shower cubicle with fancy shower heads, as well as a toilet. I do my business, wash my hands and leave the bathroom. I hesitate when I walk back through the door because I don’t know whether to leave or go back to him.

  “Come here,” he says making the decision for me. So I climb onto the bed and he opens his arms to make it clear where he wants me to return to and settle down. I do this and neither of us says anything for a while.

  “I hate that you think those things about me. It turns me inside out that you think I only want our babies and not you.” I don't answer him because I can’t bring myself to admit that this is what I really believe and denying it would be a lie. “I don't regret coming to you in Adams Grove, but I despise myself for leaving the way I did and ruining what happened that night. I was panicking and told myself that if I didn’t go when I did then I wouldn’t have been able to go at all. When Chris told me how hurt you were...”

  “He told you?” I say surprised, “he promised he wouldn’t.”

  “Sssshhh, yeah he did, he wasn’t going to tell me everything but then Neely ripped me a new asshole and it all came out. I never meant for it to affect you like that and I didn’t know how to get you back. To find out you were carrying my babies was the second chance that I needed, like a gift. I know I’ve steam rollered you into being here, but I’m not good with this shit, I don’t know any other way to
get what I want and taking control usually gives me what I want in the end. God I want you, I’ve always wanted you. For so many years you’ve been my reason to keep on fighting when I could have just given up and said ‘fuck it’. I've seen some shit, done some horribly awful things and I know I don't deserve you or the peanuts, but please Dalton, I’m begging you to give me a chance. I can’t promise it will be easy, but I can promise that I will carry on loving you with everything I have inside me and be the best damn peanut dad ever.”

  He sees my tears and wipes them away gently kissing where they’ve fallen in tracks down my cheeks. He then brushes little kisses over my lips and looks back into my eyes “Please Dalton.”

  “I’m so scared Jonas.”

  “Shit, me too baby, we can be scared together and it’ll be fun figuring it out as we go along. This house, everything about it and how I’ve built it was for you. I always planned for you to be here with me. Let me show you.”

  He leads me to the other door in the bedroom and it’s a full walk in closet. Only a third is in use for Jonas though because my stuff has already been brought in and added to it. I can see that someone has organized my clothes, shoes, purses and accessories so they look like they belong here and have always been here. He’s watching for my reaction, but I wander to his section and drift my fingers over his clothes in a day dream manner before I get to my own stuff.

  “Come there’s more,” he says and takes me back to the corridor and towards one of the other doors. It’s the one I noticed earlier with the lock on it, he punches my birthday numbers into the keypad and the door opens with an electronic buzz. I step into the room and it’s a massive office loaded with photography equipment, maps, books, radio receivers and computer screens; lots of them. In a corner I also notice, it has a dark room facility that is still being finished.

  “We can work from here, this is our office.”

  “Our office?” I’m puzzled. “Why does a club manager need an office and all this gear?”

  “That was temporary; I was helping out a mate out who had a problem. Someone was skimming money from the club. It seems that someone has a thing about scams in general.”

  “Really, shit, she has been busy.”

  “Yep. Scum,” and that is all he says on that matter.

  “So what do you do?” I ask.

  “I picked up some very useful skills in the navy, one of them being Cartography. Turns out I have a thing for photographs and maps,” he smiles at me and I grin back. “I can’t go into specific details but I’m now an outside contractor for the military. Sometimes I may be working on active classified deployments and sometimes I may be reviewing military incidents to determine blame on things like friendly fire incidents. A lot of the things I do for them are classified as Top Secret hence the lock on the door. I know I can trust you but I can’t talk about what I do. Which means that the others don’t and can’t know; you can’t bring people in here Dalton, ever. Does that make sense?”

  “Sure. Would you have to kill me?” I’m trying to make a joke, but a cloud covered his face telling me his job isn’t really a joking matter. “I’m sorry, it was a rubbish and thoughtless attempt at humor,” I say in apology.

  “It’s OK, it just reminds me that even though we’ve been in each other’s lives forever, we still have so much to learn about one another. Come on, one other thing to show you.” He takes my hand and leads me out of the room, when the door closes it beeps whilst the lock clicks into place. He opens the door adjacent to the office and ushers me to walk in first. I am in awe of what I see. He’s converted the room into an amazing nursery for the babies. Tears prick my eyes as I take it in. Two traditional cribs are in the centre, one has pale yellow bedding and bumpers the other has the same but light green in color. Hanging over each crib is a mobile made up of animals in bright colors. The walls are painted a warm beige and one of them has carefully placed motifs and stickers all over it. The stickers are unisex in nature and have animals, toys, stars and alphabet building blocks on them.

  “I didn’t know what we were having, so I’m prepared for any combination,” he says still trying to gauge my reaction. In the room is also a baby changing station that looks like it’s been adapted to accommodate two babies with ample room for supplies. The windows are covered with bright colorful animal drapes and facing the window is a large comfy looking couch which will be perfect for night time feeds, it also looks like it will fit both of us on it if we need to feed together. I wander to this and sit down; I’m astounded and overawed with everything he’s done and it’s starting to sink in.

  “I don’t want you to think I wasn’t doing anything after I found out we were having the babies. I wanted to finish the house and get this ready so you could be part of my life.”

  “I thought you didn’t want me, us,” I’m embarrassed about admitting this.

  “Never Dalton, I just didn’t know how to show you. Tell me you're OK with this. I want you all here with me,” he looks scared, he genuinely doesn’t know which way this will go.

  “OK,” it’s my simple stock answer, but this time it encompasses everything I need to say. I can’t not try and be a family together. I want the chance to be happy and love him like I always have, but I want to do it out in the open for everyone to see. He deserves the chance to show me what I mean to him. He lowers himself to sit beside me and takes me in his arms, he hugs me with relief, like his life depended on it and then says “You’ve never been more beautiful to me than you are now, knowing that you’re carrying my children is the most amazing thing ever. Thank you Dalton, I’ll make you so happy.” I return this with a gentle kiss and he starts to kiss me back. My body remembers what it’s been missing and my crazy hormones kick in and yearn for more. For once I have no hesitation about moving this forward, I’m not embarrassed about being swollen with his babies, I feel proud to show him. Jonas senses where this is going and withdraws from me.

  “Baby, I don’t think we should, you’ve had a stressful couple of days already.” I don’t think so, fuck that. I’m getting what I want. I lean back in and try to get him interested, but he puts the brakes on and he can see I feel rejected.

  “No. No. Don’t start that shit, you have no idea how much turning you down is killing me. I could pound nails with my cock at the moment it’s so hard. I want you so bad,” he shakes his head as if that is going to sort his problem out.

  I smile and look towards his groin. I lick my lips and feeling brave I stand up and remove my clothes. Fortunately I found an online maternity store that has the sexiest little sets of matching lingerie and have been treating myself. My huge swollen breasts are held up in a sheer black bra, it’s virtually see through and makes my hard nipples look desperate for attention. Jonas’s eyes flash with desire.

  “Fuck Dalton, you’re killing me,” he says as he adjusts himself to ease the pressure. I’m wearing the smallest thong possible, it’s classed as under the bump and it really is and all that is visible is a tiny triangle of fabric covering my cooch and a thin strip of pubic hair. I turn around so he can see the pretty string, it’s a thin strip of black fabric that has sexy red bows on it. Watching him over my shoulder is empowering, he can’t take his eyes off my ass and they widen as I grab the sides of the thong panties. He subconsciously licks his lips and is squeezing and grabbing his crotch in an attempt to alleviate the pressure building up.

  “Shit Dalton, I’m scared I might hurt you,” he whispers.

  “Don’t worry you won’t hurt me.”

  “But I don’t know how to be gentle,” it’s his way of letting me know he’s scared too.

  “Yes you do, just be with me, just love me,” I’m trying to reassure him, because I need this.

  “Are you sure? Christ, what if I hurt them or you,” he’s wavering, he’s on the ropes.

  “Yes I’m sure. Anyway, the peanuts make this a position finding expedition. I think it’s best if you take me from behind.” That does it, so I bend forward as f
ar as I can and peer around my hips at him. He’s already moving.

  “I’ll fuck you from behind, but tell me if it hurts or anything feels bad.”

  “I promise. Now get on with it.” My frustration is crystal clear.

  “Let’s be clear Dalton. I don’t mind you giving me requests but I make the demands. So I’ll decide when, where and how hard. You remember that next time we play this game.” He’s now standing behind me and I can feel the hardness through his jeans as he pushes teasingly into me and reaches round to grab my breasts.

  “I loved your tits before, but now they’re bigger it makes me want to put my cock between them and fuck them.”

  “Oh God please.”

  “Patience, we can’t play all the games at once. Now let me see how wet you are.” He lowers a hand from one of my breasts and swipes a thick finger between my legs and gives me one quick finger pump fuck to see if I’m ready.

  “Oh, my girl is dripping wet,” he says to himself as he pulls his finger up to my face and puts it in my mouth. “Suck it baby, lick yourself off me,” after a few moments, he tries to turn my head so his tongue can join in the action and I’m shamelessly trying to lick both his tongue and fingers because it’s turning me on to taste myself.

  I’m writhing now it’s been too long since my last good orgasm and he was the one to administer it then too. I whimper and push back against him whilst grabbing my own breasts. “OK Dalton, I got you. I need to get inside you before I cum in my pants like a fuckin’ teenager.” This only makes me whimper more. “Bend over the arm of the couch,” he tells and I quickly move into position. I hear the zip of his jeans lower and the thud of them hitting the floor around his ankles as he gently encourages me to widen my stance so I’m at the right height to take him. He enters me slowly, seating himself completely inside me and we groan in unison, it was what we were both missing. He starts to slowly withdraw and then push back into me, he’s trying to be careful and I can tell he’s afraid of hurting me. “I wanted our first time here to be more romantic, like you deserve, next time I will love you like you deserve to be loved.”