Barbarian Alien

by Ruby Dixon

  “Goodbyes?” I sputter. “What?”

  “But,” Vektal continues in a strong voice. “Tribe law has been broken. You were forbidden to take the woman, Leezh. You did so and knew the cost.” He lifts his chin and his face looks weary for a moment, and sadness flickers in his eyes. “The elders and I have conferred and your sentence is exile.”

  “Exile?” I parrot, unable to believe what I’m hearing. “For borrowing me for a while?”

  “For accosting you and endangering your life,” Vektal says. “For that, he is cast out of the tribe.”

  Raahosh’s expression is shuttered, his eyes narrow, icy slits of blue. He gets to his feet and moves to my side. His arms clench tightly around me. “This is not right. She resonated to me.”

  “And I warned you,” Vektal counters. “And you deliberately disobeyed my orders. These humans are unknown. What if she had rejected her khui? What if she had needed the healer? You endangered her by keeping her hidden. You forced her hand.”

  “The khui decides,” Raahosh says flatly. “We do not. Liz is mine.”

  I’m a little concerned that Raahosh has fallen into the MINE-MINE-MINE trap again, but he’s upset and I don’t blame him. This is getting out of control, fast.

  “You are exiled,” Vektal repeats. “Pack your things and leave the caves.”

  I look at Raahosh, shocked, then turn back to Vektal. “But I’m pregnant! With his baby!”

  “You are staying,” the leader says, and crosses his arms. “You and your kit will be safe here in the caves.”

  “You cannot separate us!” Raahosh snarls. He holds me closer, and this time I cling to him. I don’t want to leave him.

  “She will be taken care of here. You know this.” Vektal’s voice is colder than anything I have ever heard. “I am sorry, my brother, but as leader, this is something I cannot ignore.” With a sad look, he steps back and three big men step forward.

  One is Aehako, and the look he gives Raahosh is unhappy. “Come,” he says. “Do not make this harder than it already is.”

  “No,” Raahosh says, and he presses his mouth to my hair. “I will not leave my mate!”

  Georgie’s hands tug at me. “Come on, “Liz.”

  “But — no!” I don’t want to leave him! I don’t want any of this to happen!

  Suddenly, there are people pouring into the small nook. Hands grab me and I scream as I’m tugged out of Raahosh’s arms. He bellows like a wounded animal and begins to fight, and I see arms and legs flying – not all his – as he struggles to get back to me. They hold him down and separate us, and I watch, tears blurring my eyes, as they drag my struggling mate out of the cave.

  “Liz!” He bellows. “LIZ!”

  “Raahosh!” I scream back. I want to go with him. I shrug off the helpful people holding my arms and try to follow, only to have Georgie grab me around the shoulders. I try to push her away but she gives me a fierce look.

  “Stop, Liz. You’re making it worse.”

  “You can’t exile him,” I protest. I feel more stupid tears coming on. “You just can’t.”

  “He’s broken the laws,” Georgie says in a soft voice. “They don’t have many, but that’s the big one. Endangering a woman is like a death sentence around here.”

  “But — exile? What about his family? I thought that was the point of all this!” I smack a hand against my chest, where my cootie is silent. “You wanted me to have an alien mate and now you’re taking him away!”

  “LIZ!” Raahosh’s pained bellow echoes in the caverns, but it’s receding. They’re taking him away.

  This can’t be happening. It can’t.

  How can I find a mate only to lose him?

  Part Six

  LIZ

  I stare out at the snowy landscape from the entrance of the tribal caves. In the distance, high up on a ridge, there’s a lone figure sitting in the snow, facing the caves. His shoulders are slumped in defeat and if I squint hard, I can make out just one single horn.

  My poor Raahosh.

  They won’t let him come any closer to the caves. Exile is exile, I am told, and he’s not welcome anymore because he can’t stick to the rules. I’m not allowed to go out and see him, either. My cootie sings a sad, lonely song when I see him, and I blink back frustrated tears.

  “This is wrong,” I say to Kira, who stands next to me. Someone’s always at my side, or lurking around. I’m never alone here, and it’s driving me nuts. We’ve only been back for a day and all chaos has set in. I stare at Raahosh’s lonely figure up on the rise and my throat clenches around a knot. “His heart was in the right place.”

  “No, it wasn’t.” Her voice is gentle, but firm. Kira’s always quietly strong. She doesn’t have the determined grit of Georgie, or my irreverent commentary, or Josie’s sunny smiles. Kira’s the solemn, all-business one. “His heart wasn’t in the right place and you know it.”

  “Okay, so he’s a dick,” I say irritably. “What do you want from me? He’s my dick, though, and I want to keep him.”

  “Come on.” Her voice is soothing as she steers me gently away from the cave mouth. “You’re just torturing yourself with this, and it’s not good for you.”

  “What about what’s good for him?” I fight against the knot in my throat again. “Why does no one care what happens to him?”

  “People are angry.” Kira puts an arm around my waist and leads me back to the ‘bachelorette’ cave. “They need some time for tempers to cool.”

  “I don’t care if their tempers cool as long as their minds change,” I grumble, but let her lead me back toward the others.

  The bachelorette cave almost feels like the alien ship’s hold, back when we were captured by the Little Green Men. Megan’s there, and Josie, and Kira. Tiffany’s out helping Maylak with her children – the two have already become close friends, according to Kira, despite the language barrier. The only difference is that now instead of Georgie here, we have Harlow, the only tube girl that didn’t resonate to someone.

  Well, okay, it’s not the only difference. We’re warm and fed and no one’s trying to sell us as cattle, and we don’t have to poop in an overflowing bucket. There’s heated water and soap for when we want to bathe. The people are friendly. We’ve been welcomed.

  I should be pleased as punch.

  Instead, I’m still stewing over Raahosh’s treatment. I don’t understand how a people that were so gung-ho about us mating are ready to just separate us that quickly. Don’t they care that he loves me and I love him and we made a baby together? Isn’t that all part of their master plan? But here we are once more, and I’m fighting to hold back my misery. Georgie may be happy as can be, and maybe whiny Ariana has stopped crying all the damn time, but if they think they’re done with tears around here, they haven’t seen anything yet.

  Kira steers me toward the fire pit at the center of the cave and sits me down on a carved rock seat that is lined with furs and pillows. “Why don’t I get you some hot tea?”

  Josie touches my knee as I sit, and her small, round face is sympathetic. “You doing okay, Lizzie?”

  Am I doing okay? I suppose that’s the million dollar question. I’m not sure I’ve been okay for a long time. I’d say maybe I haven’t been okay for the last month, ever since the Little Green Men kidnapped me while I was sleeping and stuck me in a dirty hold with a bunch of strangers. But maybe I wasn’t okay even before then, because I was lonely and unhappy, with aafather that I missed every day since his death and a job that sucked my soul out.

  So yeah. I’m not okay. Now that I have found someone that I love and care about and want to be happy with? Someone that I can see myself spending time with? And he’s exiled and I’m here alone with his baby in my stomach? I don’t think I’m okay, no.

  But I’m also pretty sure that Josie’s hopeful expression will crumple if I say otherwise, and it’s not fair to the other girls to rage in their faces. They didn’t make the decision. So I just pat her hand. “Ducky. Just
ducky.”

  “You’re a terrible liar,” Megan says in a soft voice.

  I give her a thin smile. So I am.

  “You can help me with this,” Kira says, and puts a soft pelt in my hands. “I’m making a hooded poncho. We have the khui but it’s still not quite warm enough for us if we leave the caves, so we’re making winter gear for all the human girls.”

  “I’m glad it’s the cold season now,” Harlow comments, and I see she has sewing in her lap, too.

  Sewing. Someone kill me now.

  “Actually this is the warm season,” I point out as I pick up the sewing and stare at it with something like horror. Turning my skirt into pants was necessity. Sewing for fun is just…ugh.

  Silence falls in the cave.

  Kira blinks and sits nearby with her own sewing, the big shell of the translator in her ear sticking out painfully. “I thought they said that this was the bitter season.”

  “Oh yeah,” I say, stabbing my bone needle through the leather. “It is. But then comes the brutal season. They’re a whole bunch of Eeyores, this group.”

  “You mean it’s going to get colder?” Harlow doesn’t sound happy. “I can’t believe that this is considered warm to them.”

  “Did you not see the summer gear they all wear? Vektal’s prancing around in a vest, for fuck’s sake.” They’re silent, and I see they’re all digesting this information.

  “How did you find out?” Josie asks.

  “Raahosh told me.” I can’t help but twist the knife a little. “Gee. I wonder what other things they’re not telling you guys? I thought we were supposed to be equals but maybe the goal is to keep us all barefoot and pregnant and sewing.”

  More silence. I see Josie put down her sewing, upset.

  “I think I need to take a walk,” Megan says, and gets up and leaves the cave.

  Seed of dissent? Firmly planted. I bite back my smile and sew cheerfully. If I’m going to be fucking miserable, I’m going to take them all with me.

  The others scatter, the cheerful mood gone, and pretty soon it’s just me and Kira sitting by the fire, sewing.

  “What are you doing?” Kira asks.

  I hold up the poncho. “Sewing like a good little woman.”

  “No, seriously, Liz. Are you trying to stir up shit?” Her weirdly blue-glowing gaze pierces me.

  “So what if I am?”

  She puts her sewing in her lap and her mouth flattens into a hard line. “Have you thought about this? Really and truly thought about this?”

  “Look, all I can think about right now is my guy, and the fact that a bunch of jerks won’t let me be with him! They want me to take a mate. I did. They wanted him to knock me up, and then the moment he does, he gets exiled. So you’ll forgive me if I’m not feeling charitable towards the ice Na’vi right now on Frosty Planet Avatar.”

  She exhales loudly. “Did it ever stop to occur to you that we’re all dependent on their goodwill? They know how to survive here. We don’t. They can hunt here and know the planet. We don’t. Before they took us in, we didn’t know how to build a fire or even feed ourselves. Look around you, Liz. There’s no grocery store or snow-cone shack here. There’s no Wal-Mart for warm clothing and there’s no central heat. So I don’t want you pissing these people off, understand? Because if we have to end up back in the snow again on our own, there’s a lot worse that could happen to us than doing a little sewing!” She gets to her feet and leaves, tossing her silky brown hair behind her.

  In a network of overcrowded caves, I have somehow managed to piss off everyone enough that they’ve left me alone for the first time in a day and a half. A weird, miserable little half laugh bubbles from my throat, and it turns into tears soon enough. I sniff and wipe at my cheeks, hating that I’m crying.

  I think I’d rather be out in the wild with Raahosh than in here, alone and missing him.

  And it’s only been a day. How am I expected to just carry on as if my heart isn’t broken?

  My cootie is silent. It agrees with me. This is no way to live.

  I stab my needle into the fur again and sit in the humans’ cave by myself.

  • • •

  I end up sleeping in Kira’s bed again that night, except instead of Raahosh holding me close, it’s Kira wrapped in blankets on the other side of me. I end up weeping quietly for most of the night, miserable. How is Raahosh able to stand this? He’s out in the cold snow, alone. He can find a cave and take care of himself, but my mind is full of his lonely vigil up on the rise, staring down at the cave, hoping for a glimpse of me.

  I sleep terrible that night despite all the comforts of the tribal caves. My mind is full of nightmares, and when I wake up, I’m queasy. I barely make it out of the bachelorette cave before I’m stumbling to the cave entrance, looking for somewhere to barf. There’s a bathroom system in the caves but the entrance is a lot closer. I make it out into the snow a few moments before I puke, and then retch miserably for a few minutes before sitting up and wiping my mouth.

  Kira’s there a moment later and offers me something that looks like a foot long, pink eyelash. “Eat this.”

  “What the fuck is it?” I clutch my aching stomach.

  She points at the pink, wispy trees. “A leaf, I think. They make a tea out of it too, but Maylak says it’s good for the stomach when it’s upset.”

  “How do you know?”

  A wry smile curves her mouth. “Because I got it from Georgie? I’m surprised you didn’t meet her out here.”

  “Ugh. Is it catching? I thought the cootie was supposed to take care of this shit.” I shove the flimsy leaf in my mouth and chew. It tastes bitter and unpleasant, but then again, so does all the stuff that just came flying up my throat.

  “You have a case of the babies. I don’t think it’s catching.” Kira holds a waterskin out to me next and I rinse my mouth. “Unless you know something I don’t.”

  I shake my head and spit the water out, then kick a bit of snow over my sick. “I thought it was too early for morning sickness.”

  “Yeah, but we’re also human, and it’s hard to say how things are going to affect us cross-species, remember? We don’t even know when the babies will be due.”

  I grimace and pick leaf out of my teeth. “Don’t remind me, okay?”

  “If it makes you feel any better, Ariana and Marlene haven’t shown any symptoms of morning sickness.” She offers a hand to help me up.

  “You know, actually that does not make me feel better. Not only did they get to sleep in the tubes but they get the easy pregnancies, too? I hate those bitches.” I let her help me to my feet and brush wet snow off of my leathers.

  A horrified laugh escapes her. “Shhh, Liz.” She giggles then looks around to see if anyone heard us. “You’re terrible.”

  “So I hear.” We head back toward the entrance of the cave and I’m surprised to see Aehako lurking nearby, his arms crossed. He walks away when he sees us come back in and I frown. “Man, that guy is everywhere lately.”

  “Mmm.” Kira avoids making eye contact with me.

  A suspicious thought crosses my mind and I look over at my companion. “Is he stalking you or is he following me?”

  One corner of her mouth lifts up in a rueful expression. “Little from column A, little from column B?”

  I give her another curious glance. “And you just happened to be at hand?”

  Her cheeks pink and she looks away. A small sigh escapes her. “You know it doesn’t matter, right?”

  “What do you mean?” She starts walking toward Georgie and Vektal’s cave and I follow her, because I want to hear more about this.

  “I mean Maylak says there’s nothing wrong with our khuis. And all of the women eventually resonate.”

  “So?”

  “So…let’s say I fall for a guy and then I resonate for someone else?” The expression on her face is sad. “There’s no point in getting romantically involved with anyone if it’s not going to go anywhere or I have to discard t
hem the moment my body decides otherwise.”

  “Ah.” I guess it hasn’t occurred to Kira to fuck a guy for funsies. Maybe she’s not that kind of girl. Actually, looking back, she’s definitely not that kind of girl from what I can tell. Kira’s so serious. Maybe it’s a good thing Aehako’s flirting with her. He’s always smiling. She could use that in her life.

  Someone deserves to be happy in this clusterfuck, at least.

  Georgie meets us with a yawn and then sniffs her braid. “I smell. You guys wanna join me in the bath?”

  I glance back at the bathing pool that’s in the center of the cavern. It’s a common gathering place for a lot of the people here, and for once, it’s empty. There is a pair of women scraping skins nearby and chatting but things are pretty quiet. A bath sounds nice.

  Except for one thing. “I don’t have a swimsuit.”

  Georgie gives me a wry look. “They have different standards of modesty here. No one cares if you’re naked.”

  “Uh, I care.”

  “Really? I heard you got frisky with Raahosh while Haeden and Aehako were a few feet away.”

  “Well someone has a big mouth around here,” I tease her back. She’s not wrong, though. “Fine. Gimme some soap. I’ll go nakey-bathing with you.”

  She grabs some soap-cakes and hands me one. It smells like berries and a memory shoots through me. Raahosh uses these same berries for his soaps. I clutch it tightly and wonder if he’s still lurking around this morning. I didn’t see him outside earlier.

  Georgie and I strip down to our skin and get into the pool in the center of the cavern. In the water, I can smell sulfur and the water is warm like a bath. I moan with pleasure. It’s like having a hot tub in the middle of the house. Okay, maybe this cave isn’t so bad, then.

  “Good stuff, huh?” Georgie says, dunking her head and then coming back up for air. She looks over at Kira, who sits on the lip of the pool, hikes up her leather skirt, and slides her legs in. “You should tell her to join us.”

  “Yeah, Kira,” I say, lathering up my soap cake. “What’s up? You don’t want to get in?”