by Leah Brooke
They’d only made it stronger.
Fisting his hands on his hips to keep from reaching for her, Hoyt smiled and inclined his head. “Hello, Natalie. You look as beautiful as ever.”
Natalie glanced at Jake before looking at him again, lifting her chin, her eyes shooting sparks. “You didn’t answer me.”
Hoyt sighed, knowing the woman he loved never beat around the bush about anything. “What was I supposed to do, Natalie? Come back here? You and Jake were happy, and it would just have confused Joe. I couldn’t do that to any of you.”
He stepped closer, hiding a smile when she took a hurried step back. Pleased to see that she wasn’t as unaffected as she pretended to be, he took another step closer, the determination in her eyes to remain still delighting him.
He had a long way to go and each small victory would take him closer and closer to his goal. “You love Jake and were happy with him. Jake loves you and he loves Joe. If I thought otherwise, I would have taken you and Joe with me and never looked back.”
He smiled coldly. “Kidnapped you if necessary, and I wouldn’t have given a damn about any of your objections.”
Natalie gaped at him, but he didn’t make the mistake of letting her recover. He had to stay on the offense, knowing that in dealing with a woman like Natalie, he would need every advantage he could get.
He took another step toward her, the beast inside him roaring with satisfaction when she took another step back. Crowding her, he leaned closer. “I was suddenly the outsider. I reenlisted because I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I checked to make sure you and Joe were okay. I made sure Joe knew me. I made damned sure he knew that I was his father, and that I love him. He knew that he could count on me, and I’ve stayed in touch with him. I’ve kept tabs on both of you.”
Natalie glanced at Jake again, the connection between them more pronounced than ever. “Of course we were happy.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Hoyt allowed a small smile. “So I did what I thought was best for everyone.”
She lifted her chin, a warning and a sign that she felt vulnerable. “And now?”
He’d expected the question—a question he’d asked himself a hundred times. Smiling faintly, he answered honestly.
“Now, I’m here, and I plan to stay here. I want my family.”
* * * *
Nat slid a glance at Jake, her heart pounding so hard that she wondered if both men could hear it.
The reassurance and love shining in her husband’s eyes comforted her, and gave her the confidence she needed to deal with Hoyt.
Bracing herself for the impact, she turned to face Hoyt fully, schooling her features to hide the rush of hunger, love, and excitement. Smiling sarcastically, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Your family?”
Hoyt had always been an intimidating man, but years of training and deadly missions had turned him into six feet four inches of barely leashed power.
Raw, intimidating power that both alarmed and excited her.
His shrug drew her attention back to his wide shoulders, every shift of muscle a sharp reminder that she no longer dealt with a young man, but a mature and overwhelmingly masculine one.
His eyes, sharp and narrowed, held hers, a possessiveness in them that made her heart beat faster. “My son, my best friend, and the woman I love. My family. Does that spell it out clearly enough for you?”
Forcing a smile to hide the turmoil raging inside her, she stepped farther into the room, giving him a wide berth as she made her way to the table. “You always were blunt.”
Shifting his stance, he leaned back against the counter, his eyes—so much like Joe’s—steady and searching. “I’ve always been honest with all of you. I see no reason to stop now.” Scowling, he studied her features. “You used to be blunt, too. Now it appears you want to skirt around the issue. Scared?”
Glaring at him, she dropped into her chair. “Kiss my ass.”
Jake moved to the sink, filled a glass of water and set it in front of her, his sharp gaze missing nothing. Caressing her shoulder, he dropped a kiss on her hair before moving away again to pour himself another cup of coffee. “Honesty between us will be more important now than ever. You know that.”
Frowning, Nat gestured toward her glass. “I wanted coffee.”
Jake turned to look at her over his shoulder as he refilled Hoyt’s cup. “No. You were with Jesse, which means that the two of you sat at the table drinking coffee for hours.”
Indignant, she pushed the glass of water away. “I didn’t drink coffee the whole time. I had apple juice.”
Turning to face her fully, Jake leaned back against the counter and raised a brow. “Why? Your stomach start to get upset from all the coffee?”
Nat glared at him, furious that her face burned. “Shut up.”
He knew her far too well.
A pregnant silence followed, her anger dissolving under their steady stares.
With a sigh, she looked from the man who’d been her rock for years, and who knew her better than anyone else to the man she’d never been able to get out of her system. Suddenly, the thought of kicking him out made her sick to her stomach.
If she tried to kick Hoyt out, Jake would always wonder about her feelings for Hoyt, and would consider himself second best.
She couldn’t do that to him, but she sure as hell didn’t plan to fall all over Hoyt. “I hate being put in this position. I don’t know what either one of you expect me to do.”
Hoyt’s smile appeared strained, his gaze steady on hers. “I expect you to take this seriously. I expect you to give this a chance before you reject it out of hand.”
Allowing a small smile, she propped her head on her hand. “You expect a lot.”
Hoyt inclined his head. “Perhaps.” He took the seat next to her and reached out to grip her chin, turning her face to his. “Is it really going to be so hard for you to accept having me in your life?”
Jake straightened and set his cup aside, glancing at Hoyt. “I’m going to the club for a little while. I think the two of you need a chance to talk alone.”
“No!” Nat jumped to her feet in a panic, instantly regretting it when she saw the look of shock on Jake’s face, and the glint of anger on Hoyt’s.
The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, making Nat feel even more foolish for overreacting.
Jake’s small smile of encouragement provided the calming influence she needed. “Nat, you’re stronger than this. You’re just panicking because you think you’re going to hurt me. You need to settle down. I have no intention of letting you go without a fight. If I can’t trust you alone with him, this is going to be a real problem.”
Hoyt’s jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with impatience. “I have no idea what the hell she thinks I’m going to do when we’re alone.” A muscle worked in his jaw as he searched her features again. “I have no desire to take you away from Jake. You’d never be happy without him in your life, and you’d blame me forever for losing him.”
Jake reached out to take her hand in his, sending a familiar and always exciting electricity up her arm. “You and Hoyt need to talk. Alone.”
His eyes held hers, a seriousness in them that instantly got her attention. “You and I both know why Hoyt’s doing this. In his shoes, I’d do the same damned thing. If this doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, Nat, but all three of us need to know. We can’t have what could have been haunting us the rest of our lives. Hoyt can’t live with that. I can’t live with that. Can you?”
Tightening her fingers on his, Nat lifted her chin and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I love you. I don’t want you to get hurt, and I won’t lose you.”
Turning her head, she met Hoyt’s hooded gaze straight on. “I won’t let that happen.”
Hoyt inclined his head, silently acknowledging the warning.
Jake tugged her hand, shifting her attention back to him. “Then face this squarely, Nat. Hiding your feeling for him from me hurts me worse than anyth
ing, as if you can’t trust yourself to still love me if you love him. Don’t you think we’re strong enough for this?”
His eyes narrowed. “I can’t live with the knowledge that you love him and feel you have to hide it from me. Are you scared to show me what you feel for him? Embarrassed? I can’t live with the uncertainty. One way or another, this needs to be settled. None of us will be able to move on until it is. I’ll be back in two hours.”
Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed the backs of her fingers before releasing it. “Talk to Hoyt.” With a last look at Hoyt, he turned, grabbed his jacket, and walked out the back door.
Nat stared after him, swallowing heavily when he disappeared from view, aware of Hoyt’s silent and watchful scrutiny.
Clearing her throat, she lowered herself into her seat before her knees gave out completely and reached for the glass of water.
Her hands shook so badly, she set it down again, glancing at Hoyt, who hadn’t moved. “The way you stand there so still makes me nervous. Is that one of the things you learned in the SEALs?”
Hoyt’s lips twitched. “One of them. I’ll try to remember that. I don’t want to make you any more nervous than you already are.”
The scrape of the chair next to her made Nat jump, her shoulders so tense that they started to ache.
Hoyt paused, pulling the chair out slowly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I guess it’s going to take some time for us to get comfortable with each other again.”
Moving with slow deliberation and a graceful power that the years in the Navy had honed to a razor-sharp edge, Hoyt lowered himself into the seat next to her again. “You’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you. I didn’t think that was possible.”
Shaken, Nat fisted her hands on her lap so that he couldn’t see how badly they trembled as memories from their time together assailed her.
Hoyt had always told her she was beautiful, and the love and masculine appreciation in his eyes had always made her feel that way.
But, that was a long time ago, and she’d almost forgotten how his silky words and appreciation in his eyes warmed her all the way through.
Pinpricks of awareness broke out all over her skin, the knowledge that they would become lovers again hanging heavily in the air between them.
No.
She couldn’t let it happen. She couldn’t hurt Jake. It would be far too complicated.
But, God, what she wouldn’t give for another chance to have his love again.
It had been so long since she’d felt his arms around her—so long since he’d touched her in passion.
What she felt for Hoyt had an edge now, one that hadn’t been there before.
She wanted to know what it would feel like to be in his arms again.
She ached to know.
Damn it!
Jumping to her feet, she walked around him to the counter where the coffeepot sat, her hands itching to caress the T-shirt stretched tautly over his wide shoulders.
Keeping her back to him, she retrieved a cup and reached for the pot, struggling for something to say that would change his mind. “I’m not the same woman you knew before. I’m older and don’t have the body I did before. I can be cranky, and I’m a hell of a lot more opinionated than I used to be.”
Turning, she leaned back against the counter and sipped her coffee. “In other words, I can be a bitch and won’t take any crap from you.”
Hoyt turned in his chair, his eyes lit with anticipation. “I’m not the same man, but some things never change. There’s always been something between us. You’ve felt it every bit as much as I have. There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t wanted you. There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t wanted you and my son with me. We know each other, Natalie. It’s not as if we haven’t spent time together over the years—both of us trying to pretend there was nothing between us. I’m tired of pretending.” Although he kept his voice low, it carried easily, the deep timbre of it seeming to vibrate over her skin and set off little explosions of awareness through every erogenous zone.
Hooking an arm over the back of his chair, Hoyt let his gaze rake over her before lifting it to hers again. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m more opinionated, too, and I’m more than capable of handling your attitude.” Grinning at her glare, he reached for his cup. “A hot ass should take care of any bitchiness.”
Unable to hold back a gasp, Nat stared at him in shock. Alarmed at the surge of lust and rush of heat, she glanced at his lap, the mental image of being forced over it and spanked rising up and refusing to be pushed back. “You would hit me?”
Hoyt’s smile fell, his eyes narrowing and darkening with anger. “I would cut off my hands before I hit you, but baring your ass and turning you over my knee sounds very appealing. I’ll do it, Natalie. Make no mistake about that. I’ve never lied to you, and I sure as hell don’t plan to start now.”
Nat gulped, unable to do more than stare at him, the truth of his words glittering in his eyes.
Still holding his cup, Hoyt rose to his feet and strolled toward her. “You’re not a scared girl anymore. You’re a mature woman, who knows what she wants.” His gaze sharpened as he moved close, close enough for her to feel the heat from his body. “I know that Jake’s been teaching you the pleasure of submission for years.”
Nat tried to move to the side, but Hoyt braced a hand on the countertop on either side of her, blocking her in. Shaking so hard that she knew she didn’t stand a chance of hiding it from Hoyt, she lifted her chin, struggling not to look at his magnificent chest. “You’re a Dominant?”
Memories of the past threatened to consume her, stolen moments of hot, sweaty sex, and cuddling in the dark as he whispered words of love to her. She tried not to imagine what he’d done with other women, but jealousy ignited her anger.
“You weren’t before.”
Hoyt leaned closer, his lips hovering over hers. “You were too naïve to recognize the signs.” He followed her as she leaned back, his mouth dangerously close to hers, so close that his warm breath brushed over her lips with every word he spoke. “I was easy on you, and I didn’t have the experience or maturity that I have now.”
His lips touched hers, brushing back and forth with slow deliberation. “Thoughts of pleasuring you, teasing you, tormenting you have kept me awake at night for years. I want you, Natalie. I want you to be mine. I want to love you. Pleasure you. Cherish you. I want to possess you in ways I never have before—in ways I’ve only dreamed about.”
A whimper escaped at the feel of his chest brushing her nipples, her heart pounding furiously when he scraped his teeth over her bottom lip. Hardly daring to breathe, Nat let her eyes flutter closed and parted her lips in anticipation of his kiss.
It had been so long since she’d felt his lips against hers, his nearness much more potent to her senses than she remembered.
Her pulse tripped, her hands going to his shoulders, her fingertips digging into hard muscle as she waited.
And waited.
Swallowing another whimper, she opened her eyes, startled and embarrassed to find Hoyt watching her.
His eyes, hooded and dark, and only inches from hers, flared with heat and satisfaction even as his features softened with emotion. “There it is. Yes, you still belong to me. You still want me, and I swear, if you try to deny it or push me away, I’ll turn you over my knee so fast your head’ll swim.”
Mortified to have shown such weakness, she pushed his arm and moved away, putting several feet between them before turning to face him again. The knowledge that she’d escaped only because he’d allowed it added fuel to her anger. “You can’t just push your way into my life and expect me to accept it.”
Straightening, Hoyt reached for the coffeepot, glancing over his shoulder at her as he poured. “If you didn’t love me—if you didn’t want me—things would be different. I’d leave and not bother you again. But, that’s not the case now, is it?” Setting the pot back on the warmer, he picked
up his cup again, and turned to face her fully. “We have enough obstacles to overcome. I’m not about to let you create ones that aren’t there.”
His smile sent a thrill through her, one she struggled to hide. “It’s not like I’m asking you to strip, jump up on the table, and spread your legs, baby.”
The thought of it sent a flare of heat to her clit, making it throb.
Hoyt’s eyes narrowed on her features as though he’d seen something she hadn’t meant to reveal. “Yeah, it’s there.” Lifting his cup, he took a sip, watching her over the rim. “I’m not going to rush you, but I’m sure as hell not going to let you push me away.”
Retrieving the cup she’d left on the counter, he brought it to her, placing it in front of her. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t want to scare you or cause any trouble for you and Jake. I just want to be a part of what you have here.”
He reached out to play with the ends of her hair. “I’ve missed you so damned much. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t ached for you.”
He smiled faintly. “The night Joe was born, I got drunk as hell and cried like a baby.”
Gulping, she stared down into her coffee cup, tears stinging her eyes. The flood of emotion made it difficult to breathe, the years of yearning for him, coming back in a rush. “The night I gave birth to Joe, I wanted you with me. I cried for you.”
The words she’d never meant to say poured from her, and disgusted with herself, she set her cup aside again and backed away to put some distance between them. “Look, I’m older now. I have stretch marks. Wrinkles. I don’t need fancy words or flattery. I much prefer honesty.”
Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing back tears she couldn’t afford to shed. “I couldn’t bear it if you changed your mind about me and walked away. I can’t trust you not to walk away, Hoyt. You’re asking me to risk my marriage, and everything Jake and I have built together on the chance that you’ll stay.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Natalie. About anything.” His voice had an edge to it that hadn’t been there before.