by Leah Brooke
Grateful for the surge of anger that kept her from sobbing, Nat stormed back to the counter, staring out the window over the sink. “How about the time that you told me that you hadn’t asked me to marry you because I was pregnant?”
She didn’t even get the chance to turn before he closed in on her from behind. Bracing a hand on the counter on either side of her, he pressed his hard body against hers. “I never lied to you about that. I never would have taken your virginity if I hadn’t planned to marry you.”
Struck by the feel of his body pressed against hers, a feeling so new and exciting, and yet so familiar, Nat stiffened.
He was even bigger now. Harder. Hotter.
A commanding presence that couldn’t be ignored.
Her feelings for him had matured over the years, making her desire for him even stronger now. Richer. More intense.
Fighting it would be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but love for Jake and anger at Hoyt demanded that she try. “If that’s true, why didn’t you ever ask me before? Why didn’t you ever—”
In a rare show of temper, Hoyt slammed a hand on the countertop. “Because I couldn’t support you on what I was making while I was working for my father!”
Stunned by the bitterness and anger in his tone, Nat fisted her hands on either side of the sink and stiffened again. “I didn’t need money, Hoyt. I had a job, too.”
Leaning so close that she could feel his warm breath on her cheek, Hoyt closed his hands over her fists, his body tense against her back. “It was my job to support you. I didn’t want you to have to work. I wanted to take care of you. I couldn’t afford college, and knew that I could learn a trade in the Navy.”
For the first time on over twenty years, his hands closed over her waist, sending a wave of longing through her—one so intense that it terrified her.
Sexual awareness gripped her, travelling in decadent bursts from the hard hands at her waist and the soft lips that touched her neck and flowing to every erogenous zone in her body.
Her mind fought the hunger—a hunger she’d spent years struggling to suppress, but her love and need for him proved overwhelming, and her body refused to listen.
She trembled helplessly, her breath coming out in short, desperate whimpers at the slow, upward slide of his hand.
Gripping her jaw, he trailed his fingers over her neck. Tilting her head back, he scraped his teeth over the ultrasensitive spot between her neck and shoulder, a spot he’d exploited often in the past, and one he obviously hadn’t forgotten.
“I’ve missed this spot. So soft. So sweet. I want you so damned much. You. I’ve never wanted another woman the way I want you. You’ve ruined me for anyone else. There hasn’t been a fucking night that I haven’t lain in bed wanting you.”
He slid the hand at her waist to press against her belly, pulling her firmly against him. “There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t loved you.”
Moving the hand at her belly in a possessive caress, he tightened the hand at her jaw, pressing his face against her neck. “I’ll love every stretch mark you have. They’re my marks on you, marks from giving birth to my son. You wear my brand, and I can’t wait to explore each and every one of them. I wanted you with me so much, Natalie, and it ripped my heart out to watch you marry Jake. It nearly killed me to leave you behind.”
Swallowing a sob, she fought her hunger for him, and the memories that created an empty feeling in her stomach, one that she remembered well. “But, you still left.”
Lifting his head, he turned her face to his, the torment in his eyes tugging at her. “I had to leave. I’d already signed up. I’d already made the commitment. I wanted you with me—where you belonged—but I saw the fear in your eyes. I know you were afraid of leaving. I know how you felt about leaving Jesse with your father. You were carrying my child, and I wanted what was best for you. For both of you.”
He scraped his teeth over that sensitive spot again, nuzzling it as though he couldn’t get enough. “But, there hasn’t been a day since then that I haven’t considered you—both of you—mine.”
Nat shook her head, jerking away before she came completely undone. “I’m Jake’s.”
Tightening his hold on her jaw, he turned her face toward his again, holding her head tilted back against his shoulder, his eyes glittering hotly. “Yes, you’re Jake’s, but a part of you has always belonged to me. I was the man who took your virginity. I was the man who gave you a child. You love me. You always have, just as I’ve always loved you.”
The hand at her waist slid higher, settling right below the lower curve of her breast. “Part of you will always belong to Jake, but part of you also belongs to me. You know it as well as I do. I want what’s mine, Natalie—what’s always been mine.”
Her ragged breathing became even more pronounced as the heat from his hand burned the underside of her breast, making her nipples bead so tightly they ached. She shivered at the huskiness in his voice as he said her name.
No one else called her Natalie.
No one but Hoyt.
God, she wanted him.
“I can’t do this.” She shoved at him, but she couldn’t move him the slightest bit.
“Yes, you can.” Hoyt nipped her earlobe. “You’re the strongest woman I know. If any woman could handle two men, it’s you.”
She sucked in a breath when the hand pressing against the lower curve of her breast shifted slightly and his thumb slid back and forth over the sensitive underside, alarmingly close to her nipple. Little sizzles of erotic electricity raced from his fingers to her nipple, making it bead impossibly tighter, the ache for his touch overwhelming. “Hoyt. Oh, God.” Shaking like a leaf, she gripped his forearm with the intention of pushing it away, an intention forgotten as soon as the first surge of white-hot lust hit her system.
Hoyt’s lips moved over her jaw, sending waves of heat racing through her. “Yes, love. It’s not too late for us. It’s never too late. I can’t forget you, Natalie. I’ve tried. I can’t get you out of my head. Thoughts of what I was missing have driven me crazy. I gave in to you when you wanted to stay here. I only wanted you to be happy. I’ve given you everything you’ve ever asked me for. I let you have your way when it damned near killed me.”
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he cuddled her close and buried his face against her neck again. “Now, I need this from you. I have to know, Natalie. I have to know if there’s a chance for us. I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t do everything I could to get you back into my life.”
His lips moved over the spot that rendered her weak and turned her knees to rubber. “I need to know if I can fit in here. I want my family, Natalie. The way you respond to my touch, and the love in your eyes—the love you try so hard to hide—convinces me that I’m right where I belong.”
Spinning her to face him with a speed that made her dizzy, he fisted a hand in her hair and tilted her head back, using his other hand to hold her against him. His hooded gaze held hers for several long seconds before a slow smile of satisfaction curved his lips. “Yes, Natalie. I’m right where I belong.”
She barely managed a gasp before Hoyt took her mouth with his in a searing kiss filled with an emotion and possessiveness that melted the last of her resistance. It had an edge to it now that hadn’t been there before, one that seemed to reach inside her and draw every bit of yearning and love she felt for him to the surface, leaving her feeling vulnerable and exposed.
His kiss, so familiar and yet so different, had a dangerous feel to it now, an erotic sexuality that had been honed to a razor sharp edge.
Some of the tenseness left Hoyt as he eased his hold and lifted his head slightly, sipping at her lips as if to prove to her that he didn’t need to hold her to keep her there.
With his lips hovering over hers, he ran his hands through her hair, bringing back memories of how much he’d always liked to play with it. Smiling, he gripped her chin, holding her gaze with eyes that glittered with emotion. “Adm
it it, Natalie. You need to know, too. We can have it all. You only have to give us a chance.”
Staring into light brown eyes with flecks of gold that seemed to glitter, Nat swallowed the lump in her throat, trembling with excitement for what could be, and struggling against the fear of what could happen. “You’re right. I do need to know, but more importantly—Jake does. I’d like you to have time with Joe, and I know that Jake’s missed you over the years.”
Running his thumb over her still-tingling and moist bottom lip, he watched her intently. “And you?” His eyes narrowed. “Have you missed me?”
Knowing a lie would probably choke her, she nodded. “Yes.” She shook her head, wishing she could shake off her nerves as easily. “But Jake’s my husband. What’s done is done. We’ve all made our choices, and I’ve grown to love Jake. More than I ever thought I could love. I love him so damned much that losing him terrifies me.”
Meeting his gaze squarely, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, desperate to make him understand her position. “Jake is my husband. He raised Joe as his own. He’s always been there for me. We’ve built a great life together. I love him so much, and would do anything for him. He’s a part of me. I know he feels the same about me. I won’t hurt him, Hoyt—not even for you.”
Chapter Four
Nat’s hands shook as she washed the dishes, the events of the day leaving her unsettled and nervous. Aware of Hoyt’s scrutiny as he dried the plate he held, and Jake’s sharp attention on both of them, she fought to appear as normal as possible, but she didn’t remember what normal even felt like anymore.
Everything had changed, the excitement in the air tangible even as her unease around Jake grew.
Afraid of hurting his feelings, she didn’t want to show how much Hoyt affected her, or how much she craved the relationship they’d both proposed.
Jake had come home shortly after she’d told Hoyt that she wouldn’t hurt Jake for him, and aware of his sharp attention, she’d tried to keep as much space between her and Hoyt as possible.
Hoyt thwarted her at every turn, crowding her and touching her often, and doing it under Jake’s watchful and enigmatic gaze. Hoyt had suggested going out to dinner, but Nat didn’t feel like dealing with all the questioning looks, and needed something to do, hoping that staying busy cooking the meal would help her shake some of her nerves.
It hadn’t.
Having both of the men she loved talking about mundane topics like bills and chores that needed to be done around the house intensified the reality of the situation.
They made it sound so permanent.
Hoyt opened a cabinet and slid a plate inside, the realization that after years of visiting, he already knew where everything belonged adding even more of a sense of permanence. “I have to get to the bank and open an account here.”
Jake got up to help himself to another cup of coffee, patting Nat’s bottom as he passed her. It was something he did often, but not in front of others, and never in front of Hoyt.
A small thing, but it served to emphasize the difference in their relationship now, something she suspected had been Jake’s intention.
Both men seemed to be doing their best to keep everything as normal as possible, but even the smallest thing took on greater significance.
Jake turned to look at Hoyt over his shoulder as he refilled his cup. “Did you bring everything with you?” The camaraderie between them seemed to grow by the hour as though the two of them had come to some kind of understanding.
Not knowing what went on between them made her even more uneasy.
Hoyt chuckled softly and reached for another plate to dry. “Except for the Mustang, everything I own is in the truck. I’ve lived on base most of the time, and travel light. I have some more computer equipment being sent to me, but other than that, I have everything with me.”
Turning at the waist to set a plate in the drying rack, Nat caught a glimpse of Hoyt and Jake standing together. Stilling at the picture they made, she sucked in a breath, her pulse tripping.
Love for both of them—memories, both good and bad—hit her like a sledgehammer, the rush of emotion so intense that she actually gasped, jolting at the sound of the plate she’d been holding crashing to the floor.
This was really happening.
Her head spun, making her dizzy, the humming in her ears blocking out their voices. She gripped the edge of the counter for support, distantly wondering why both men looked so concerned.
Jake cursed and swept her up in his arms, breaking her out of her trance. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you all right?” He dropped into one of the kitchen chairs and settled her on his lap, holding her face lifted to his, the fear in his eyes bringing her back to the present.
Feeling like a fool, Nat nodded and smiled reassuringly to ease the concern in his eyes, reaching up to lay a shaking hand on his cheek. “I’m fine. Just clumsy.” Inwardly cursing, she sat up, trying to hide her unsteadiness. “Don’t make a fuss. I’m all right. Just let me up.”
Hoyt knelt at her feet, taking her foot in his hand and yanking off her sock, and then doing the same with the other. “She okay? I don’t see any cuts.”
Forcing a smile, Nat swallowed heavily, the surge of love for both of them making it difficult to breathe. “I’m fine. I promise. I just dropped a damned plate. Don’t make such a big deal out of it.”
Jake tumbled her back. “I saw your face. Do you feel okay?”
Hoyt shoved her socks back on, his features hardening. “I don’t like it. She looks too pale. Let’s get her to the hospital.”
“Oh, for God’s sake!” Feeling like a fool, Nat tried to jump up, but Jake’s hard arm around her waist kept her from getting to her feet. “I’m fine. I swear.”
When they shared a look, Nat sighed, knowing that unless she did some fast talking, she’d end up being looked at by a doctor. “It just hit me, okay? Let’s not make a big deal out of it. I feel stupid enough as it is.”
With a hard arm around her back keeping her in place, Jake turned and lifted her face to his, frowning as he studied her features. “What hit you, baby?”
Threading her fingers into his thick, silky hair, she leaned in to him. “Just how much I love you. The relief of knowing that you’re not sick and haven’t found someone else. Having Hoyt here. I looked up and saw the two of you and everything just hit me at once.”
Delighted at the relief and flash of emotion in his eyes, Nat wrapped her arms around his neck and brushed her lips over his strong jaw. “I love you so damned much.”
The slide of his hand over her waist warmed her and left a trail of heat in its wake. “And I love you—so much that it hurts at times. I can’t live without you. I know how hard you love, baby.”
Hoyt straightened from where he’d cleaned up the glass. “I’ll go out and start unloading my truck.”
Lifting his gaze, Jake glanced at Hoyt before giving Nat a meaningful look and releasing his hold on her.
Understanding that he wanted her to go to Hoyt, Nat nodded and got to her feet, blocking Hoyt before he could leave the room. “Just because I love you doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with it.”
Hoyt stopped abruptly and blinked, staring at her for several heart-pounding seconds before a slow smile lit his features. “Loving you isn’t exactly what I’d consider comfortable.”
Jake rose and approached Hoyt, slapping a hand on his back. “I’ll help you unload everything. The sooner we get you settled, the better.”
Wrapping his arms around her waist, Jake hugged her, pulling her close. “I love you, baby. Just relax. Everything’s going to be just fine.”
She leaned back into his embrace automatically, the way she had a thousand times before over the years, but this time with the knowledge that Hoyt watched. Patting the hand he pressed against her stomach, Nat forced a smile, her breasts and clit tingling for his touch. “Of course it will.”
Knowing that if they’d been alone, he would have slid his hands up
her sweater to cup her breasts, Nat stiffened, tense with anticipation. She wanted his hands on her, needed the closeness and connection that their lovemaking created, but was uneasy at the thought of him touching her intimately in front of Hoyt.
As Hoyt moved away, and went out the front door, Nat looked up at Jake over her shoulder. “I wouldn’t hurt you for the world. One word from you and all of this ends.”
Jake smiled, a genuine smile that made his eyes sparkle in the way she loved so much. “You’re giving me a safe word? That’s quite a switch for us, isn’t it, baby?”
Rubbing her forehead against his jaw, Nat smiled. “Yes, and I’ll honor it every bit as much as you do.”
Closing his hands over her waist, Jake pressed his lips to her temple. “I love you, baby.”
Hoyt reappeared, carrying a box under each arm. “Is it all right if I take the guest room I always used when I visited?”
Jake cursed. “This is your home now, too. This isn’t going to work until we get comfortable with each other and you stop acting like a guest here.” He slapped Hoyt on the back, the tension from him still palpable. “Come on. Let’s give Nat some time alone. I think she’s a little overwhelmed.”
Nat snorted. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go play with your toys and let me finish.”
Watching them go, Nat smiled, amused at herself. She understood now how Jesse got so rattled at times.
Dealing with one arrogant, domineering, and possessive man had always been an adventure.
Dealing with two would take a hell of a lot of stamina.
She had a feeling that the rewards would be worth it.
If only she could settle, maybe she’d be able to handle the situation a little better.
With that thought in mind, she sat at the table sipping coffee as Hoyt and Jake carried Hoyt’s belongings inside, taking a great deal of satisfaction in just relaxing and listening to their voices. Their laughter rang out with increasing frequency as they talked about some of the crazy things they’d done in the past.
They’d always been close. Even when Hoyt came to visit, he’d usually spent almost as much time with Jake as he had with Joe, while she’d floundered, Hoyt’s presence making her too nervous to join in.