Tell It to the Moon

by Siobhan Curham

  Maali frowned. “What about my religion?”

  “Doesn’t it say that all gay people must be thrown off tall buildings or burnt at the stake?”

  “No!” Maali gave a deep sigh. “For your information, homosexuality isn’t mentioned a single time in the Hindu texts. For Hindus it’s all about the importance of love and devotion between two people – it doesn’t say who those two people have to be or what sex they have to be.”

  Rose felt overwhelmed with relief. “Well, thank Oscar for that.” She leaned back against the bed. “Now can we please change the subject? Isn’t it time we got on to our New Year dreams?”

  “Yes!” Amber went over to her desk and took a notepad from one of the drawers.

  “How are we going to give our dreams to the moon with a massive storm going on outside?” Maali asked.

  “Don’t worry, I have an alternative plan,” Amber said mysteriously.

  Rose hugged her knees to her chest. She’d done it. She’d told the Moonlight Dreamers and it had all gone OK – better than OK in Maali’s case. Sky was the only one she was still a little unsure of. She gave her a sideways glance. Sky quickly looked away.

  Amber handed each of them a piece of paper. “Apparently we’re coming into a Capricorn new moon.”

  “What does that mean?” Rose rummaged in her bag for a pen, pulling out her boarding pass, a baking magazine and

  a year’s supply of key-lime-pie-flavoured gum.

  Amber sat back down. “It means it’s a great time to set intentions for the year ahead because Capricorn’s the sign of hard work … or something.”

  “OK, cool.” Rose offered the gum around.

  Sky took a piece and smiled. A proper smile. Rose nudged her in the ribs. “You OK?” she whispered as Maali and Amber got their pens out. “You know, with me…?”

  Sky nodded. “Of course.”

  “Who wants to go first?” Amber asked.

  “Can I?” Sky sat forward. “My dream for this year is to perform more poetry in public – but with my eyes open and actually breathing this time!”

  Rose grinned as she thought back to Sky’s first ever poetry slam, where her nerves had gotten the better of her. “You were great.”

  Maali nodded. “Yeah, that judge was a fool.”

  Sky grinned. “Thanks, guys, but I do think they had a point. Looking at the audience and remembering to breathe are important skills when you’re trying to perform a poem!”

  “Anything else?” Amber asked.

  Sky shook her head. “No, that’s it really. Just that poetry becomes a bigger part of my life so it’ll take my mind off school and give me something positive to focus on.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me,” Rose said, nodding.

  “How about you, Rose?” Amber asked. “What are your dreams for the year?”

  “To learn more about cake-making and to work more in the shop and…” Rose felt her cheeks start to burn. What was up with her? She never blushed. “To kiss a girl,” she muttered.

  “To what?” Maali said.

  “To kiss a girl – like, properly.” An image of Francesca popped into Rose’s mind. This happened a lot when she thought about kissing a girl, even though it was highly inappropriate because Francesca was her boss and way older than her. But she was so beautiful. Rose thought of her shiny dark hair and her dimpled smile and the way she spoke in her lilting French accent. OK, enough already, coming out seemed to be turning her into a gay version of Maali.

  “That’s so lovely,” Maali sighed.

  “Yeah well, let’s not get carried away,” Rose said. “How about you then, Maals? What are your dreams for the year?”

  Maali’s face clouded over. “Well, I suppose my main dream is for my dad to be OK.”

  “Of course,” Amber said. “But what’s your dream for you?”

  “Promise you won’t laugh at me?” Maali said, looking at the others anxiously.

  “Of course,” Sky said.

  “Or call me stupidness in a sari?” Maali said, looking at Rose.

  “As if!” Rose replied.

  “Well, I’d still really like to meet my soulmate and…” She looked down into her lap. “I’d like to forget all about Ash,” she muttered.

  “Say what?” Rose said. “As in cigarette ash?”

  “No! As in Ash – the boy I thought was my soulmate but who belongs to someone else!”

  “Ah, right.” Rose grinned. “Sorry, in my mind he’ll always be Old MacDonald.”

  “He’s not an actual farmer!” Maali said with a frown. “He just works at the City Farm part-time while he’s at college.”

  Rose sighed. Maali was clearly still one smitten kitten when it came to Ash. “Well, you never know,” she said. “He might have broken up with Sage and Onion over Christmas. Maybe he got sick of going out with someone who reminded him of turkey stuffing.”

  Maali gave her a weak smile. “I doubt it. But thank you.”

  Rose put her arm round her shoulders. “Don’t worry. Your prince will come.” She turned to Amber. “So, Amber, what’s your dream for the New Year?”

  Amber thought about the dream she’d made up for this moment – to get more readers for her blog – and she could practically hear Oscar Wilde moaning that it was nothing but a quotation. She cleared her throat. “My dream is to find out who I truly am and what I should be dreaming,” she said, hoping that she didn’t sound like too much of a loser.

  “Cool!” Rose said.

  “Is it?” Amber looked at her. “I was worried it might sound lame – a Moonlight Dreamer without a dream.”

  “But you do have a dream,” Rose said. “A massive dream. And we’re all here to help you achieve it, OK?”

  Amber nodded and gave a relieved smile. A huge crash of thunder reverberated around the room. “Wow! That was a real sockdolager!” she exclaimed as Maali shrieked and cowered next to the bed.

  “A sock-what-er?” said Rose.

  “Sockdolager. It was my word of the day yesterday from Dictionary.com,” Amber explained. “It means an almighty crash or loud noise.”

  “And that, right there, is why you’re awesomeness in a pin-striped suit,” Rose said with a laugh.

  Amber’s cheeks flushed. “Thank you.” She took a pen from the breast-pocket of her suit. “OK, let’s write our dreams down and then we’re going to burn them.”

  “Burn them?” Maali’s eyes widened in alarm.

  “Yes. As we can’t release our dreams into the wind tonight we’re going to release them into fire.”

  “Cool!” Rose repeated and quickly jotted down her dreams on her piece of paper. She loved this part of the Moonlight Dreamers meetings. Seeing her dreams either in pictures or in words really helped make them seem more achievable somehow. PROPERLY KISS A GIRL she wrote, followed by a heart and three kisses. Geez, she really was turning into gay Maali!

  When they’d finished they turned to Amber, who produced a large bowl and a box of matches from beside her bed. “I think it should be safe to do it in here,” she said, putting her dream into the bottom of the bowl. The others followed suit.

  “Dear Moon, please help us to achieve our dreams this coming year,” Amber said, taking a match from the box. “And please help us to be the kind of Moonlight Dreamers that Oscar Wilde would be proud of.”

  “Yes,” Rose muttered.

  Amber lit the match and dropped it into the bowl. The paper started glowing red and then a huge flame shot up.

  “Yikes!” Maali exclaimed. “Are you sure this is safe?”

  As the flame grew higher the girls leapt to their feet.

  “I’ll get some water!” Amber cried.

  But before she could move they heard footsteps on the landing. “Girls, would you care to join us for a New Year’s toast?” Gerald called through the door.

  “Shit!” Amber looked at them frantically, then back at the burning bowl. “Shall I throw it out the window?”

  “No!” Sky exclaimed. “
The curtains might catch fire or you might kill a passer-by. Has anyone got a drink?”

  “Girls?” Gerald called. The flames leapt even higher.

  Rose tipped the contents of her bag onto the floor. “I’ve got a can of Coke.”

  “Quick!” Amber grabbed the can, snapped it open and poured it on to the flames. With a horrible hiss, they spluttered and died. Amber shoved the smouldering bowl into her cupboard. Rose bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from laughing.

  “Amber!” Gerald called. “Is everything OK in there?”

  “Yes, Dad. Everything’s fine.” Amber shot them all a warning look before opening the door.

  Gerald looked dapper as ever in a three-piece suit and scarlet silk cravat. Rose had no idea how Amber could have been so convinced that Daniel was her biological dad: she was Gerald’s daughter through and through.

  “Good God, what’s that smell?” he said, sniffing the air.

  “Sky was burning some incense she brought back from her hippy retreat,” Rose said quickly. “It’s called Burnt Dreams.”

  Maali spluttered.

  “Hmm.” Gerald looked at them suspiciously. “More like burnt entrails. Anyway, Daniel’s made some of his delicious mulled wine and we were wondering if you’d care to join us for a toast.” He looked at Maali. “We have some non-alcoholic fizz too, although it really is a poor substitute.”

  “Of course,” Amber said. “We’ll be down in just a minute.” She shut the door behind him and they all sat in silence as they listened to his footsteps creaking off down the stairs. Then they dissolved into a laughing heap on the bed.

  “Burnt Dreams!” Maali gasped. “Oh wow, that was so funny!”

  “Yeah, thanks for blaming it on me,” Sky said, before dissolving into laughter again.

  “It was all I could think of.” Rose snorted.

  “That was way too close,” Amber said. “Imagine if we’d burnt the house down.”

  “Yeah, great start to the year that would have been,” Rose said.

  “I love you guys,” Maali said.

  “Me too,” Sky said.

  “Me three,” Rose added.

  “Me too,” Amber said.

  “No – you’re supposed to say me four,” Maali said.

  “Oh – right – yes – me four,” Amber said awkwardly and they all started laughing again.

  As Rose hugged her aching sides she felt happier than she’d done in the longest time. She’d spent so much of last year unsure of things – unsure of where she wanted to live. Unsure of who she wanted sexually. Unsure of who she truly was. But now, as the New Year ticked its way towards her, she’d never felt more certain of where she wanted to be and who she wanted to be with – and it was a great feeling.

  Chapter Eight

  As soon as her alarm clock went off, Maali’s eyes shot open. Today was the first day back at school after the Christmas break and that nervous first-day-of-term feeling was bubbling inside her. She got up and turned on her fairy lights and knelt before her shrine. But before she could start to pray she heard hurried footsteps from the landing below and the bathroom door banging shut. Maali hurried down from her attic bedroom and found Namir standing outside the bathroom hugging his toy dinosaur.

  “What’s going on, Nam?” Maali asked.

  “Daddy’s being sick. I think he must have eaten too many sweets,” Namir replied.

  Their mum opened the bathroom door and came out on to the landing. Maali just glimpsed her dad hunched over the toilet before her mum closed the door.

  “What’s wrong with Dad?” Maali asked.

  “I think he has the winter vomiting virus,” their mum replied.

  “Gross!” Namir exclaimed.

  She looked at him and smiled. “Come on, let’s get you ready for school.”

  “Do you think that’s what’s been causing the dizzy spells?” Maali asked.

  Her mum nodded and Maali felt a wave of relief. At least they now knew what was wrong, and once her dad was over the virus, things could go back to normal.

  “Thank you, Lakshmi,” she whispered as she made her way back up to her bedroom.

  Sky lay in her bunk, staring up at the low ceiling. This was it – the day she’d been dreading for months. The day she started school. She hadn’t been feeling too bad about it yesterday. She and her dad had gone to a really cool exhibition about Tibetan Buddhism and she’d left it feeling all Zen. But it felt as if her fears had been doing press-ups on the floor beside her bunk while she slept and now they were bigger and stronger than ever. She reached for her phone and started scanning through the texts from the other Moonlight Dreamers. Amber had sent her an Oscar Wilde quote:

  “Be yourself … everyone else is already taken” and YOURself is more than good enough.

  Maali had also sent her a quote, which she assumed was from a Hindu text:

  “Desire nothing, give up all desires and be happy.” xxxxx

  Sky thought about this for a moment. How was it possible to give up all of your dreams and desires and be happy? Wasn’t it your desires and achieving them that made you happy? She knew that if her desire not to go to school was somehow magically granted she’d be extremely happy. She made a mental note to ask Maali what she meant the next time she saw her. She clicked on Rose’s text.

  School is for fools

  Cos it’s full of rules

  But you have the tools

  To make them all drools (?!!)

  OK, so clearly I don’t have your poet skills BUT I am a great judge of character (apart from when it comes to certain guys obvs) and I can tell you now that you rock! So don’t be scared be awesome. Love ya xoxo

  Sky grinned. Trust Rose to be able to make her laugh on what was possibly going to be the worst day of her life – apart from when her mum died, of course.

  When Rose had come out to them at the New Year’s Eve meeting, Sky had been shocked and a little hurt that Rose hadn’t felt able to say anything to her before. But she realized now that this was selfish and silly. It must have been a really confusing time for Rose and it made what happened with Matt and the photo seem even worse in a way. Sky thought about how Rose had dealt with the internet storm and how she’d found the strength to come out of it more fearless than ever. That was how Sky needed to be now – more like Rose. She got out of her bunk and looked at herself in the mirror. So what if her new schoolmates thought she was weird for being home-schooled and living on a boat? So what if they hated the pink strands in her hair? She was a Moonlight Dreamer – she didn’t need anyone else’s approval.

  Rose hesitated outside her mom’s bedroom door. Ever since she’d got back to London, Rose had wanted to tell Savannah that she was gay, but there hadn’t been the opportunity. When she’d arrived home on New Year’s Eve the house had been full of Savannah’s usual party posse of models and make-up artists and a handful of aging rockstars. Since she’d broken up with Liam, Savannah had been see-sawing between partying and detoxing. The break-up and last year’s media witch-hunt about her age had left her pretty fragile and Rose didn’t want to do anything to rock the boat. The one good thing to have come out of the incident with the photo was that it had brought her and Savannah closer than they’d been in years. Rose wanted to keep it that way, so she’d made her dad promise he wouldn’t breathe a word about her sexuality and said she’d tell Savannah when the time was right.

  Rose heard a loud whirring sound coming from the kitchen and made her way downstairs. Savannah was up – and juicing. This was great. If she was juicing it meant she was in the detox phase of the drink-and-detox cycle, when she was always more positive and clear-headed. Rose could come out to her now and, if it did go badly, at least she’d have the excuse of having to leave to go to school. She could just tell her and go – coming out hit-and-run style.

  “Hey.”

  Savannah was standing by the juicer, holding a glass of what looked like frothy blood but what Rose guessed was beetroot. Her long golden hair was tie
d into a high ponytail and she was wearing her yoga gear.

  “Where’d you get the blood, Vampira?”

  Savannah frowned. “It’s not blood, honey, it’s beetroot juice.”

  “I know, I was joking.” Rose stared at her – she seemed a little tense. “You OK?”

  “Yeah. I guess.” Savannah sat down at the breakfast bar and took a sip of her juice. Despite it only being seven in the morning, she was wearing a full face of make-up. It made Rose mad and sad in equal parts how she’d become increasingly paranoid about her looks. After her own mini internet storm she’d realized that the only way to be free from the craziness of the online world was truly not to care. As Oscar Wilde said: “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

  Rose went over to Savannah and placed a hand on her shoulder. “What’s up?”

  Savannah sighed. “I’ve got a meeting with the perfume company today.”

  Rose sat down on a stool next to her. “What about?”

  Savannah made a pair of air quotes with her hands. “‘Moving forward’, apparently.”

  Rose’s heart sank. One of the worst by-products of last year’s witch-hunt was Savannah getting dropped from a couple of her biggest contracts. “You don’t know it’s going to be bad news, though.”

  “I’ve got a bad feeling, honey. And so does Roxanne.”

  Roxanne was Savannah’s new manager – a straight-talking Londoner with snowy-white hair cut into a fierce bob. She was a massive improvement on Savannah’s last manager, the perma-tanned sleazebag Antonio.

  “You know, Mom, maybe you need to stop caring so much.”

  Savannah’s perfectly plucked eyebrows practically shot up to her hair line. “Stop caring?”

  “Yes. There’s more to life than modelling contracts, you know.”

  “Oh, really?” Savannah looked around the state-of-the-art kitchen. “Tell that to the bank manager.”

  Rose inwardly sighed. Today was clearly not going to be the day she came out to her mom. She was starting to wonder if that day would ever arrive.

  “I’d better get to school,” she said.