Tell It to the Moon

by Siobhan Curham

  “So, I need to talk to you,” Francesca said as she went over to clear the couple’s table.

  “You do?” Rose’s brain started shuffling through the possible reasons: I’m gay and I adore you / I can’t fight my feelings any longer / I no longer need your help in the shop / you’re fired. She looked at Francesca anxiously.

  “I am expanding the business.”

  “You are?”

  “Uh-huh. I have bought a pitch in a market – starting on Saturdays and if it goes well, then every day.” Francesca took the cups and plates over to the counter. “And I was wondering – would you like to run it?”

  Rose gripped the edge of the table. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. I think you would be great. The customers love you and it would be such good experience for you. It is how I started out myself back in Paris – selling cakes on a market stall in Montmatre.” Francesca smiled wistfully at the memory. What do you say? You could still do work experience here during the week after school but on Saturdays you will take care of the stall. And I will pay you, of course.”

  Rose could barely believe what she was hearing. This was the best news ever – running a stall could be a crucial step in achieving her dream. “That sounds awesome.”

  Francesca clasped her hands together excitedly. “Magnifique! I will help you there, the first few weeks, until you are ready to do it on your own. And if it gets too busy I get you a helper.”

  “But – I’d be in charge?”

  “Yes.” Francesca came back over to the table and sat down. “I see so much of myself in you, Rose. You have the same passion, the same instinct when it comes to baking. I want to help you the same way people helped me when I was starting out.”

  Completely unexpectedly, Rose’s eyes filled with tears. “Shit. I’m sorry.” She wiped her eyes but they kept coming. For so long her life had felt like one huge long reaction to her parents and their careers and mistakes and break-ups and other assorted dramas. Now, finally, something was happening that was positive and exciting and all hers, not theirs.

  “No apologize for your tears!” Francesca said, shaking her head firmly. “It shows how much you care.”

  “Thank you so much,” Rose murmured, looking down at the table.

  “You deserve it. You work so hard for me last year. I know I can trust you with this.”

  “You can.” Rose looked back at her, blinking away her tears. “You really can. I’m gonna be the best goddam cake-stall holder Camden Market has ever seen.”

  “Oh no – it isn’t in Camden Market,” Francesca said. “That would be too close to the shop. It is in Spitalfields.”

  Spitalfields? Rose felt a tingle of excitement. Spitalfields was just around the corner from Brick Lane; just around the corner from Maali and Amber. Spitalfields was Moonlight Dreamers territory. If she was into the same woo-woo stuff as Rachel she would say this was definitely the universe giving her a sign that her dream was meant to come true.

  Chapter Ten

  All the way home from school, Maali chanted the Gayatri Mantra over and over in her head. “Aum bhoor bhuvah svah…” Past the retail units in Box Park selling their trendy coffee and designer clothes … “tat savitur varenyam, bhargo devasya dheemahi …” Under the graffiti-covered railway bridge … “dhiyo yo nah prachodayaat…” On to bustling Brick Lane. The Gayatri Mantra was one of the most powerful Hindu mantras, supposed to bring wisdom and happiness to all who chanted it. It was one of Maali’s favourites. “Aum bhoor bhuvah svah…” She walked past the vintage store Retro-a-go-go, where Amber worked at the weekends. “Tat savitur varenyam, bhargo devasya dheemahi…” She didn’t even think of Ash as she crossed the road leading to the City Farm. “Dhiyo yo nah prachodayaat…” She walked past the looming red-brick tower of the Old Truman Brewery and her parents’ sweetshop came into view. Please, Lakshmi, let Dad be feeling better now.

  As she drew closer to the shop her heart sank. The lights were out and the CLOSED sign was displayed in the door. Why was it closed so early? She let herself in the side door that led to their flat. Taking the stairs two at a time, she raced into the hall and followed the murmur of her mum’s voice coming from the living room.

  Her mum was pacing up and down by the window, talking on her mobile. “OK, Sita, Maali’s just got home. I’ll call you back.”

  “What’s up?” Maali said. “Why’s the shop closed? Where’s Namir?”

  “He’s with Auntie Sita,” her mum replied. “I had to get her to pick him up from school. Your dad’s been very ill. I haven’t been able to leave him.”

  “With the vomiting virus?” Maali asked.

  “Yes. I’m going to ring the emergency health line. I’m worried he’s dehydrated.”

  Maali sat down on the sofa. “But he is – he is going to be all right?”

  “Oh, of course he is, sweetheart. I just need to get an expert opinion – to put my mind at rest, really.”

  Maali breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll go and see him.”

  Her mum shook her head. “He’s sleeping at the moment, probably best not to disturb him. Why don’t you go and get something to eat and I’ll call the doctor.”

  Maali nodded. But as soon as she got into the hallway she headed straight for her bedroom. She’d completely lost her appetite.

  Once she was in her room, Maali lit some incense and sat down in front of her shrine. She tried to do a simple meditation to calm herself but her fears were way too noisy. She opened her eyes and gazed at the Lakshmi figurine.

  “Please help Dad get better,” she whispered. “Please don’t let him suffer any more.” Lakshmi smiled back serenely. “And please help me to stay strong for Mum. I’m trying really hard not to—” She broke off as she heard the sound of footsteps running up the stairs.

  “Maali, an ambulance is coming to take Dad to the hospital,” her mum said breathlessly, bursting into the room.

  “What? But why?”

  “They’re worried about the fluids he’s lost and the fact that he can hardly stand up.”

  “He can’t stand up?”

  Her mum shook her head. She looked really scared. “He keeps getting so dizzy. I’ve called Auntie Sita and let her know what’s happening. She’s going to bring Namir back here as soon as Uncle Dev gets home from work. But it won’t be until about nine o’clock. You’re welcome to go round there now and have dinner with them.”

  “Can’t I come with you and Dad to the hospital?”

  Her mum shook her head. “No. There’s nothing you’ll be able to do. It’s better that you’re here for Namir. And I’ll be home as soon as I can.” She hugged Maali before rushing back downstairs.

  Maali hurried after her, her heart pounding.

  * * *

  As Sky ran down the steps to the canal tow-path she pictured shedding the events of her first day at school like layers of dead skin. The pressure of being the new girl. The heat and the noise. The regimented lessons. The ever-present tension that polluted the school like a toxic cloud. She pictured it all leaving her body there on the steps. When she got to the tow-path she took off her tie and shoved it in a nearby bin. She undid the top button on her shirt and set off down the path feeling lighter with each step. When she got back to the boat she was going to tell Liam that this whole secondary school thing might have seemed like a good idea at the time – to him at least – but it had actually been a complete and utter disaster. She didn’t belong in that world and she never would, so she was going to go back to home-schooling, even if she had to home-school herself. As she marched along the path their houseboat came into view. A thin ribbon of smoke coiled from the chimney. Liam was on the bank beside the boat, chopping wood for the stove.

  “Hey, Dad!” she called.

  He turned and put down the axe. “Hey, sweetheart. How was it?” He looked at her anxiously.

  “Terrible.”

  Liam’s face fell. He put down the axe and ran his hand through his hair the way he always did
when he was stressed.

  “But it’s fine,” Sky said breezily. “I know you need to earn more money so I’m going to home-school myself.”

  Liam shook his head. “No – you can’t. You’ve got your GCSEs coming up – and then your A levels. You need to have a teacher – teachers. Are you sure it’s that bad? Maybe you just need to give it more of a chance.”

  “No. It’s horrible, Dad. It’s like a prison – with added homework. And it’s so noisy and hot and—”

  “Ah sure, you’ll get used to that.”

  “But I don’t want to get used to it.” Sky felt a lump building in her throat. It hadn’t occurred to her that Liam would say no. She’d assumed that when he heard how hard it had been for her, he’d be OK with her leaving.

  “Sky, I need you to do this for me. I need you to make more of an effort.” Liam started pacing up and down on the bank, looking really stressed. “I have to pay the mooring fees for this place. I have to work full-time. I’ve got no choice but to send you to school … if you want to stay here in London.”

  Sky’s heart sank. It was the worst ultimatum. She either went to school or had to move away from the Moonlight Dreamers. She desperately searched for another reason not to go back.

  “But – I’ve thrown my tie out.”

  “What? Why? Where?”

  “In the bin, back up there.”

  “Jesus, Sky, go and get it. I’m not made of money.”

  As Sky stormed back up the path angry thoughts swooped through her mind. This was all Liam’s fault. Why couldn’t he be a normal dad with a normal job and a normal house? Why did he take her out of school in the first place if he was going to end up sending her back? At least if she’d always gone to secondary school she’d have been brainwashed into always doing what they said and wearing her tie and saying “yes, Miss, no, Miss, three bags full, Miss” every second sentence. Why couldn’t she just live in a normal family with a normal name that nobody ever laughed at, like Lucy or Emily or Sarah? Why did Liam have to call her Sky? Why did he go out of his way to make her question the system only to shove her back into it? And then finally, the question she’d hoped she’d stopped asking: why did her mum have to die?

  From: lakshmigirl@googlepost.com

  To: wildeatheart@googlepost.com; halopoet@hotpost.co.uk; roselnyc@hotpost.com

  Date: 4th January 17:58

  Subject: EMERGENCY MEETING

  Dear Moonlight Dreamers,

  Something horrible has happened. Please can we have an emergency meeting? Tonight if possible. Even if only one of you is able to make it. I really need to see someone. Café 1001? 6 pm?

  Love,

  Maali xx

  Chapter Eleven

  Amber raced up the café stairs and scanned the tables. Maali was sitting in one of the booths in the gallery overlooking the ground floor, hunched over, still in her coat.

  “Maali! Are you OK?” Amber slipped on to the bench opposite her.

  “Yes. No. I don’t know.” Maali blinked really fast, like she was trying not to cry. “Thank you so much for coming.”

  “Of course. What’s happened?”

  Maali’s bottom lip started to quiver, sending Amber into a tailspin. She was so rubbish when people cried. Crying made her feel awkward in the extreme. “There, there,” she said, patting Maali on the hand. For God’s sake, why did she have to be so like Gerald? What happened to the nurture part of nature and nurture? Why couldn’t she at least have absorbed some of Daniel’s natural ability to be affectionate? A terrible thought occurred to her. Maybe her surrogate mum was equally uptight. Maybe she was double-doomed to be socially inadequate.

  “It’s – it’s my dad,” Maali stammered. “He—”

  “Hey, Dreamers. I come bearing cake!” Rose arrived at the table, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks glowing. She plonked an eggshell-blue cake box in front of them. Amber breathed a sigh of relief. It was no longer just down to her to console Maali. Rose would be way better at this kind of thing.

  “Maals! What’s up?” Rose sat on the bench and hugged Maali to her. She looked at Amber.

  Amber shrugged and mouthed, “I don’t know.”

  “It’s my dad,” Maali said. “He—”

  “Hey, guys.” Sky appeared at the table. Her eyes were red and her face was blotchy, like she’d been crying.

  Amber’s heart sank as she moved along to let her sit down. She must have really hated her first day at school.

  “Maali, what’s wrong?” Sky leaned across the table and took hold of her hand.

  “It’s my dad – he’s had to go to hospital. In an ambulance.”

  “What the hell?” Rose stared at her. “Why?”

  “He kept being sick. And now he can hardly stand up. The doctors are worried that he’s lost too much fluid.”

  Rose shook her head. “Wow, that winter vomiting virus is a real bitch.”

  “Do you think that’s what it is, then?” Maali looked at her hopefully.

  “Well, that’s what you said it was in your text to me.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “What?”

  “What if it’s something more serious?”

  Rose shook her head. “I’m sure it isn’t. It was on the news the other day that people are dropping like flies from the virus. And at least now your dad’s in hospital he’ll be able to get all the care and meds he needs. I’m sure he’ll be home in no time, you’ll see.”

  Amber watched as the tension faded from Maali’s face.

  Rose opened the cake box and pushed it towards her. “Eat. Your body needs sugar after a shock. True story.”

  “Is that actually true?” Maali asked with a half grin.

  Rose nodded seriously, but winked at Amber. “For sure. Go on.”

  Maali took a cake from the box. It was decorated in intricate swirls of icing every colour of the rainbow.

  “It looks more like a work of art than a cake,” Amber said.

  “Uh-huh. My boss, Francesca, made them. She’s amazing.” Rose’s face flushed and she quickly looked back at Maali.

  Amber stared at Rose. There was something different about her. She seemed so happy. It was almost as if she was glowing. Amber glanced at Sky. She’d gone very quiet and was staring off into the distance, almost as if she wasn’t there. Her traumatic day at school must have really knocked her for six, as Gerald would say.

  Maali grinned at Rose through watery eyes. “Thanks for being so lovely, Rose.”

  Rose coughed. “Yeah well, don’t tell anyone. I’ve still got my hard-as-nails image to protect, yo. Seriously though, you’re not on your own, Maals. Is she?” Rose looked across the table at Amber and Sky. “Moonlight Dreamers are always there for each other, right?”

  “Right,” Amber said firmly.

  Sky nodded.

  Maali gave them a brave smile. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t come to meet me tonight.”

  Rose frowned. “There was no way we wouldn’t have been here tonight. We’re always here for you. Got it?”

  Maali nodded.

  “Good.” Rose smiled at her. “Your dad’s gonna be just fine. The docs have said it’s the winter vomiting virus. They’ll know exactly how to treat it. Trust me, he’ll be back before you know it.”

  When Rose finally got home that night she took a moment outside the front door to prepare herself for the various scenarios that might be awaiting her: a) her mom would be at the drunk and morose stage of the Losing a Contract Grieving Process; b) she’d be in bed, sleeping off the drunk and morose stage; c) she’d be working out like a maniac on the running machine while mainlining beetroot juice, stuck in the complete denial stage of the process.

  It turned out to be none of the above. When Rose stepped into the huge hallway she heard the sing-song hum of women’s voices coming from the living room, then one voice cutting above the others, which wasn’t her mum’s.

  “… and when we play small, we play straight in
to the patriarchy’s hands,” the woman said as Rose poked her head around the door. What the hell?

  Savannah and her manager, Roxanne, were sitting on the white leather sofa gazing at the speaker, who was sitting cross-legged on one of the armchairs, holding a book. She wore a long lilac dress, which would probably be more accurately described as a robe, and her bobbed hair was so shiny, thick and black that it looked like a helmet. Rose cleared her throat. They all turned to look at her.

  “Rose, honey, you’re home!” Savannah ran over to greet her. She was wearing an old Rolling Stones t-shirt and sweat pants. It was the most dressed-down she’d been in years. Even when she put the trash out she wouldn’t be seen in anything less than Givenchy. Rose studied Savannah’s face. She wasn’t wearing that much make-up either and she looked genuinely happy. Maybe she was stoned. But as Savannah leaned in to hug Rose, her breath smelled of coffee and her eyes were clear. “This is Margot Devine.” Savannah gestured to the woman in purple. “She’s another of Roxanne’s clients. An author and motivational speaker. She’s telling us all about her new book.”

  Rose fought the urge to laugh. In all the possible scenarios she had imagined coming home to tonight, her mom hosting an impromptu book club never came close.

  “It’s called The Vagina Vows,” Savannah continued breathlessly.

  “The Vagina What?!”

  “Ten ways to unleash the power of your sacred flower,” Margot called out.

  “I’m sorry?” Rose stared at her.

  “That’s the strapline,” Margot explained. “Ten ways to unleash the power of your sacred flower.”

  “Wow!” Rose bit down on her bottom lip, not sure whether to laugh or feel totally grossed out.

  “You should come listen,” Savannah said, tugging on Rose’s arm.

  “Oh, I don’t know.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “It all sounds a bit too gynaecological to me, but you go for it, Mom.”

  “It’s not about sex or anything,” Savannah said, way too loud for Rose’s liking.

  “Good God, no!” Margot exclaimed with a shudder.

  “It’s all about seeing our femininity as a strength instead of a weakness,” Savannah explained. Rose hadn’t seen her this wide-eyed with enthusiasm since she got her first NutriBullet.