Cuckoo Clock of Doom

by R. L. Stine

  “No!” Mona cried. “That’s what you get for trying to catch us!”

  “I … didn’t …” I had trouble getting the words out while she tickled me. “I didn’t … try to …”

  “Yes, you did!” Mona insisted.

  I’d forgotten that Mona used to be so bossy. It made me think twice. If I ever make it back to my real age, I thought, maybe I won’t like Mona so much anymore.

  “Please stop,” I begged again.

  “I’ll stop,” Mona said. “But only if you promise something.”

  “What?”

  “You have to climb that tree.” She pointed to the tree by the fence. “Okay?”

  I stared at the tree. Climbing it wouldn’t be such a big deal. “Okay,” I agreed. “Just get off me!”

  Mona stood up. Ceecee let go of my arms.

  I climbed to my feet and brushed the grass off my pants.

  “You’re scared,” Mona taunted.

  “I am not!” I replied. What a brat! She was almost as bad as Tara!

  Now Mona and Ceecee chanted, “Mikey is scared. Mikey is scared.”

  I ignored them. I grabbed the lowest branch of the tree and hauled myself up. It was harder than I thought it would be. My four-year-old body wasn’t very athletic.

  “Mikey is scared. Mikey is scared.”

  “Shut up!” I yelled down at them. “Can’t you see that I’m climbing the stupid tree? It doesn’t make sense to tease me about being scared.”

  They both gave me that blank look Mona had given me before. As if they didn’t understand what I was saying.

  “Mikey is scared,” they chanted again.

  I sighed and kept climbing. My hands were so small, it was hard to grip the branches. One of my feet slipped.

  Then a terrible thought popped into my head.

  Wait a minute.

  I shouldn’t be doing this.

  Isn’t nursery school the year I broke my arm?

  YEEEEOOOOOOWWWWW!

  Morning again.

  I yawned and opened my eyes. I shook my left arm, the one I broke climbing that stupid tree the day before.

  The arm felt fine. Perfectly normal. Completely healed.

  I must have gone back in time again, I thought. That’s the good part about this messed-up time thing: I didn’t have to wait for my arm to heal.

  I wondered how far back I went.

  The sun poured in through the window of Tara’s — or my — room. It cast a weird shadow across my face: a striped shadow.

  I tried to roll out of bed. My body slammed against something.

  What was that? I rolled back to look.

  Bars!

  I was surrounded by bars! Was I in jail?

  I tried to sit up so I could see better. It wasn’t as easy as usual. My stomach muscles seemed to have grown weak.

  At last I managed to sit up and look around.

  I wasn’t in jail. I was in a crib!

  Crumpled up beside me was my old yellow blankie with the embroidered duck on it. I sat beside a small pile of stuffed animals. I was wearing a tiny white undershirt, and —

  Oh, no.

  I shut my eyes in horror.

  It can’t be. Please don’t let it be true! I prayed.

  I opened my eyes and checked to see if my prayer had come true.

  It hadn’t.

  I was wearing diapers.

  Diapers!

  How young am I now? How far back in time did I go? I wondered.

  “Are you awake, Mikey?”

  Mom came into the room. She looked pretty young. I didn’t remember ever seeing her this young before.

  “Did you get lots of sleep, sweetie pie?” Mom asked. She clearly expected no answer from me. Instead, she shoved a bottle of juice into my mouth.

  Yuck! A bottle!

  I pulled it out of my mouth and clumsily threw it down.

  Mom picked it up. “No, no,” she said patiently. “Bad little Mikey. Drink your bottle now. Come on.”

  She slid it back into my mouth. I was thirsty, so I drank the juice. Drinking from a bottle wasn’t that bad, once you got used to it.

  Mom left the room. I let the bottle drop.

  I had to know how old I was. I had to find out how much time I had left.

  I grabbed the bars of the crib and pulled myself to my feet.

  Okay, I thought. I can stand.

  I took a step. I couldn’t control my leg muscles very well. I toddled around the crib.

  I can walk, I realized. Unsteadily, but at least I can walk.

  I must be about one year old!

  I fell just then and banged my head against the side of the crib. Tears welled in my eyes. I started wailing, bawling.

  Mom ran into the room. “What’s the matter, Mikey? What happened?”

  She picked me up and started patting me on the back.

  I couldn’t stop crying. It was really embarrassing.

  What am I going to do? I thought desperately. In one night, I went back in time three years!

  I’m only one year old now. How old will I be tomorrow?

  A little shiver ran down my tiny spine.

  I’ve got to find a way to make time go forward again — today! I told myself.

  But what can I do?

  I’m not even in nursery school anymore.

  I’m a baby!

  Mom said we were going out. She wanted to dress me. Then she uttered the dreaded words.

  “I bet I know what’s bothering you, Mikey. You probably need your diaper changed.”

  “No!” I cried. “No!”

  “Oh, yes you do, Mikey. Come on …”

  I don’t like to think about what happened after that. I’d rather block it out of my memory.

  I’m sure you understand.

  When the worst was over, Mom plopped me down in a playpen — more bars — while she bustled around the house.

  I shook a rattle. I batted at a mobile hanging over my head. I watched it spin around.

  I pressed buttons on a plastic toy. Different noises came out when I pressed different buttons. A squeak. A honk. A moo.

  I was bored out of my mind.

  Then Mom picked me up again. She bundled me into a warm sweater and a dopey little knit cap. Baby blue.

  “Want to see Daddy?” she cooed at me. “Want to see Daddy and go shopping?”

  “Da-da,” I replied.

  I’d planned to say, “If you don’t take me to Anthony’s Antiques, I’ll throw myself out of my crib and crack my head open.”

  But I couldn’t talk. It was so frustrating!

  Mom carried me out to the car. She strapped me into a baby seat in the back. I tried to say, “Not so tight, Mom!” It came out, “No no no no no!”

  “Don’t give me a hard time now, Mikey,” Mom said sharply. “I know you don’t like your car seat, but it’s the law.” She gave the strap an extra tug.

  Then she drove into town.

  At least there’s a chance, I thought. If we’re going to meet Dad, we’ll be near the antique store. Maybe, just maybe.

  Mom parked the car outside Dad’s office building. She unstrapped me from the car seat.

  I could move again. But not for long. She pulled a stroller out of the trunk, unfolded it, and strapped me in.

  Being a baby really is like being a prisoner, I thought as she wheeled me across the sidewalk. I never realized how awful it is!

  It was lunchtime. A stream of workers flowed out of the office building. Dad appeared and gave Mom a kiss.

  He squatted down to tickle me under the chin. “There’s my little boy!” he said.

  “Can you say hi to your daddy?” Mom prompted me.

  “Hi, Da-da,” I gurgled.

  “Hi, Mikey,” Dad said fondly. But when he stood up, he spoke quietly to Mom, as if I couldn’t hear. “Shouldn’t he being saying more words by now, honey? Ted Jackson’s kid is Mikey’s age, and he can say whole sentences. He can say ‘lightbulb,’ and ‘kitchen,’ and ‘I wa
nt my teddy bear.’ ”

  “Don’t start that again,” Mom whispered angrily. “Mikey is not slow.”

  I squirmed in my stroller, fuming. Slow! Who said I was slow?

  “I didn’t say he was slow, honey,” Dad went on. “I only said —”

  “Yes, you did,” Mom insisted. “Yes you did! The other night, when he stuffed those peas up his nose, you said you thought we should have him tested!”

  I stuffed peas up my nose? I shuddered.

  Sure, stuffing peas up your nose is stupid. But I was only a baby. Wasn’t Dad getting carried away?

  I thought so.

  I wished I could tell them I would turn out all right — at least up to the age of twelve. I mean, I’m no genius, but I get mostly A’s and B’s.

  “Can we discuss this later?” Dad said. “I’ve only got an hour for lunch. If we’re going to find a dining room table, we’d better get moving.”

  “You brought it up,” Mom sniffed. She wheeled the stroller smartly around and began to cross the street. Dad followed us.

  I let my eyes rove along the storefronts across the street. An apartment building. A pawnshop. A coffee shop.

  Then I found what I was looking for: Anthony’s Antiques and Stuff.

  My heart leaped. The store still existed! I kept my eyes glued to that sign.

  Please take me in there, Mom, I silently prayed. Please please please!

  Mom steered me down the street. Past the apartment building. Past the pawnshop. Past the coffee shop.

  We stopped in front of Anthony’s. Dad stood in front of the window, hands in his pockets, gazing through the glass. Mom and I pulled up beside him.

  I couldn’t believe it. Finally, after all this time — some good luck!

  I stared through the window, searching for it.

  The clock.

  The window display was set up like an old-fashioned living room. My eyes roamed over the furniture: a wooden bookcase, a fringed table lamp, a Persian rug, an overstuffed armchair, and a clock … a table clock. Not the cuckoo clock.

  Not the right clock.

  My heart sank back to its normal low spot in my chest.

  It figures, I thought. Here I am, at the antique store, at last.

  And the clock isn’t here.

  I felt like crying.

  I could have cried, too. Easily.

  After all, I was a baby. People expected me to cry.

  But I didn’t. Even though I looked like a baby, I was a twelve-year-old inside. I still had my pride.

  Dad stepped to the door and held it open for Mom and me. Mom pushed me inside. I sat strapped into the stroller.

  The shop was jammed with old furniture. A chubby man in his forties strolled down the aisle toward us.

  Behind him, down at the end of the aisle, in a corner at the back of the shop, I saw it. The clock. The clock.

  A squeal of excitement popped out of me. I began to rock in my stroller. I was so close!

  “May I help you?” the man asked Mom and Dad.

  “We’re looking for a dining room table,” Mom told him.

  I had to get out of that stroller. I had to get to that clock.

  I rocked harder, but it was no good. I was strapped in. “Let me out of this thing!” I shouted.

  Mom and Dad turned to look at me. “What’s he saying?” Dad asked.

  “It sounded like ‘La ma la ma,’ ” the shopkeeper suggested.

  I rocked harder than ever and screamed.

  “He hates his stroller,” Mom explained. She leaned down and unbuckled the straps. “I’ll hold him for a few minutes. Then he’ll quiet down.”

  I waited until she held me in her arms. Then I screamed again and wriggled as hard as I could.

  Dad’s face reddened. “Michael, what is wrong with you?”

  “Down! Down!” I yelled.

  “All right,” Mom muttered, setting me down on the floor. “Now, please stop screaming.”

  I quieted down immediately. I tested my wobbly, chubby little legs. They wouldn’t get me far, but they were all I had to work with.

  “Keep an eye on him,” the shopkeeper warned. “A lot of this stuff is breakable.”

  Mom grabbed my hand. “Come on, Mikey. Let’s go look at some tables.”

  She tried to lead me to a corner of the shop where several wooden tables stood. I whined and squirmed, hoping to get away. Her grip was too tight.

  “Mikey, shhh,” she said.

  I let her drag me to the tables. I glanced up at the cuckoo clock. It was almost noon.

  At noon, I knew, the cuckoo would pop out. It was my only chance to grab the bird and turn it around.

  I tugged on Mom’s hand. She tightened her grip.

  “What do you think of this one, honey?” Dad asked her, rubbing his hand along a dark wood table.

  “I think that wood’s too dark for our chairs, Herman,” Mom said. Another table caught her eye. As she moved toward it, I tried to slip my hand out of hers. No go.

  I toddled after her to the second table. I shot another glance at the clock. The minute hand moved.

  Two minutes to twelve.

  “We can’t be too picky, honey,” Dad said. “The Bergers are coming over Saturday night — two days from now — for a dinner party. We can’t have a dinner party without a dining room table!”

  “I know that, dear. But there’s no point in buying a table we don’t like.”

  Dad’s voice began to rise. Mom’s mouth got that hard, set look to it.

  Aha. A fight. This was my chance.

  Dad was shouting. “Why don’t we just spread a blanket out on the floor and make them eat there? We’ll call it a picnic!”

  Mom finally relaxed her grip on my hand.

  I slipped away and toddled as fast as I could toward the clock.

  The clock’s minute hand moved again.

  I toddled faster.

  I heard my parents shouting at each other. “I won’t buy an ugly table, and that’s that!” Mom cried.

  Please don’t let them notice me, I prayed. Not yet.

  I reached the cuckoo clock at last. I stood in front of it and stared up at the clock.

  The cuckoo’s window was far above me, out of reach.

  The minute hand clicked again. The clock’s gong sounded.

  The cuckoo’s window slid open. The cuckoo popped out.

  It cuckooed once.

  It cuckooed twice.

  I stared up at it, helpless.

  A twelve-year-old boy trapped in a baby’s body.

  I stared grimly up at the clock.

  Somehow, I had to reach that cuckoo.

  Somehow, I had to turn it around.

  Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

  Three, four.

  I knew that once it reached twelve, I was doomed.

  The cuckoo bird would disappear.

  And so would my last chance to save myself.

  In a day or so, I would disappear. Disappear forever.

  Frantic, I glanced around for a ladder, a stool, anything.

  The closest thing was a chair.

  I toddled over to the chair and pushed it toward the clock. It moved about an inch.

  I leaned, putting all my weight into it. I figured I weighed about twenty pounds.

  But it was enough. The chair began to slide across the floor.

  Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Five, six.

  I shoved the chair up against the clock. The seat of the chair came up to my chin.

  I tried to pull myself up onto the seat. My arms were too weak.

  I planted a baby sneaker against the chair leg. I boosted myself up. I grabbed a spindle at the back of the chair and heaved my body onto the seat.

  I made it!

  Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Seven, eight.

  I got to my knees. I got to my feet.

  I reached up to grab the cuckoo. I stretched as tall as I could.

  Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Nine, ten.

  Reaching, reaching.

  Then I heard the sh
opkeeper shout, “Somebody grab that baby!”

  I heard pounding footsteps.

  They were running to get me.

  I strained to reach the cuckoo. Just another inch …

  Cuckoo!

  Eleven.

  Mom grabbed me. She lifted me up.

  For one second, the cuckoo flashed within my reach.

  I grasped it and turned the head around.

  Cuckoo!

  Twelve.

  The cuckoo slid back into the clock, facing the right way.

  Forward.

  I wriggled out of Mom’s arms, landing on the chair.

  “Mikey, what’s gotten into you?” she cried. She tried to grab me again.

  I dodged her. I reached around to the side of the clock.

  I saw the little dial that told the year. I felt for the button that controlled it. I could just reach it, standing on the chair.

  I slammed my hand on the button, carefully watching the years whiz by.

  I heard the shopkeeper yelling, “Get that baby away from my clock!”

  Mom grabbed me again, but I screamed. I screamed so loudly, it startled her. She let her hands drop.

  “Mikey, let go of that!” Dad ordered.

  I took my hand off the button. The dial showed the right year. The present year. The year I turned twelve.

  Mom made another grab for me. This time I let her pick me up.

  It doesn’t matter what happens now, I thought. Either the clock will work, and I’ll go back to being twelve again …

  … or else it won’t work. And then what?

  Then I’ll disappear. Vanish in time. Forever.

  I waited.

  “I’m so sorry,” Dad said to the shopkeeper. “I hope the baby didn’t damage the clock.”

  The muscles in my neck tensed.

  Nothing was happening. Nothing.

  I waited another minute.

  The shopkeeper inspected the clock. “Everything seems okay,” he told Dad. “But he changed the year. I’ll have to change it back.”

  “NO!” I wailed. “No! Don’t!”

  “That boy could use a little discipline, if you ask me,” the shopkeeper said.

  He reached his hand around the side of the clock and started to set back the year.

  “Nooo!” I wailed. “Nooo!”

  That’s it, I realized. I’m doomed. I’m a goner.

  But the shopkeeper never touched the button.