Ashes

by Taisha S. Ryan

  "I told your assistant, I thought he relayed the message to you."

  "Well, he didn't."

  "Then, that's something you need to take up with him," she retorted.

  "Nah, I'm taking it up with you. It's your responsibility to let me know way ahead of time you won't be making it to work, not for me to find out the moment of. Now the kids are assed out without a dance teacher. What kind of bullshit is that, Zara?"

  "Well, I'm sorry Vance something important came up," she said with an attitude.

  She couldn't believe he was so angry, when it really wasn't even her fault.

  His throaty chuckle wavered the line. "Just typical. I don't know why I expected different from an ex-convict that doesn't know shit about keeping a fucking job."

  That stung.

  "Let this be the last time some shit like this happens or ya ass is fired." He hung up.

  She looked at the phone in disbelief.

  He had some nerve. She gripped the phone. "Piece of shit."

  She was sick of his damn attitude. At first she could withstand it, since she understood the root of his anger, but now it was getting on her nerves. Every chance he got, he criticized her for the smallest things. He treated her as though she were nothing but scum. She didn't understand where all this animosity had come from. At one point, she thought they were progressing. She was even beginning to see a warmer side to Vance, only for him to switch at the drop of a dime for no apparent reason at all.

  What more did he want from her? To beg on her knees for forgiveness? To kiss his ass?

  Fuck that.

  He was lucky this wasn't the old her, or she would've snapped on his rude ass.

  "Why'd you leave?"

  Zara turned her head to see Reyna and her friends standing by the door.

  "Just needed to smoke."

  "What's wrong with you? Why're you looking all pissed off at the world?" Reyna asked.

  "Nothing." Zara tossed out her cigarette. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

  "No, we're gonna head to 5th Ave and see what they have."

  Zara let out a sigh. It was going to be a long day.

  *

  After a long day of shopping, they had yet to decide on a bridesmaid dress. Reyna wasn't satisfied with any of the choices and being the perfectionist that she was, she found a flaw with every single dress. After hours of following behind Reyna all over the city, it only left her burnt out and extremely hungry. So, she and Reyna dined at a nearby Italian restaurant in Times Square, chatting it up like they so loved to do. The rest of her friends had ventured off to tend to their own separate plans later on that evening.

  "So, how's the dance class coming along?" Reyna asked, taking a bite of her pasta.

  "It's going well. The kids are great," She smiled. Her heart always seemed to swell whenever she talked about them. "I never thought I would enjoy teaching dance, but I really do."

  "That's great, Za. See, I told ya knuckle head ass you could do it," she joked lightly and Zara chuckled. "Do you see yourself making this an actual career?"

  She grew quiet for a moment. "I don't know. I never really thought about it."

  "I think you should."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah, you have the gift to do it. And plus, this is the first time in a while I see you so happy about something."

  Zara never gave it much thought. Teaching dance at the center was just something she did to fulfill her probation requirements. She thought it would be temporary. Sure, she enjoyed what she did, but to make it an actual career? She wasn't so sure.

  "Yeah, maybe. I'll think about it."

  "I hope so." Reyna added red peppers to her Penne ala Vodka dish. "So, how are you and Vance getting along?"

  She grimaced at the mention of him.

  "Ugh, I don't even wanna talk about him." She rolled her eyes. Their conversation today still left a bitter taste in her mouth.

  "Don't tell me ya'll are still going through it. I thought you two were starting to get along."

  "Well we're not."

  "So, what's the problem now?"

  "I don't know, the nigga's just bipolar. One minute, he wants to be nice. The next he wants to be an ass. Fuck him." Her voice spewed with venom, deriving from a place of hurt she hated to feel. She shook her head with a sigh. "I know he still blames me for Trish's death. He's never gonna let that go, he’s always gonna hate me for it."

  "Yeah, but that's not your burden to carry. If he can't learn to let go and move on, that's on him. But you shouldn't have to deal with his shit. I'll talk to him."

  "No, it's fine. Just let it go, I don't even care anymore." She waved it off, listlessly. The truth was, she did still care. A lot actually. And that's what frustrated her the most.

  "No, it's the principle. I already told him he can't stay in my house if he's gonna continue with his bullshit. I'll set him straight."

  "Reyna, seriously it's fine. I'm not even worried about him. Anyway, next subject." She was in no mood to talk about his trifling ass right now.

  "Yeah, enough about Vance. Anyway, there's somebody I want you to meet."

  Zara gave her a hesitant look. "Who?"

  "There's this guy I met at my job. His grandmother is a patient of mine. His name is Sean. He's 30 years old, he's an accountant. Real nice guy."

  "And?" She pressed, wondering where she was going with this.

  "And I told him about you."

  "You what?" She dropped her fork.

  "Calm down, It was nothing but good things. So, last week, we got to talking and he told me he just got out of a relationship and he's looking to start dating again. So, I told him I have a sister that's single and ready to mingle. So now he's interested and wants to meet you."

  "Are you serious? Why would you do that, Reyna?" Zara snapped.

  "Why not? It's just a date."

  "I don't give a fuck. I don't need you to hook me up."

  "Okay, first of all you need to relax. I thought you would be happy about this."

  "And why would I be happy?"

  "Because you need some dick in your life, Zara."

  Zara rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

  "C'mon you know it's true. When was the last time you got some?"

  "That's not the point."

  "No, answer the question. When was the last time?"

  Zara shrugged, not willing to answer that. The truth was, it hadn't been that long ago. It had been up to recently, just before she got locked up, she had been on the streets having sex with random men for money to buy drugs. Those were some of her darkest times, memories she wanted to keep locked away in the furthest place of her mind, never to be revisited. She hadn't even told her sister about it. She was too ashamed to. She didn't want her to judge her.

  "See, it's probably 'been years since somebody turned that out real good. I think you should give him a try." Reyna smiled.

  "I don't even have my life together to be worrying about a man. I'm just doing me right now."

  "Yeah, I bet you are."

  Catching unto what she meant, Zara flipped her the middle finger and Reyna laughed.

  "Alright, seriously. I understand what you're saying and I agree. But nobody's asking you to go on and marry him. I'm just saying, one simple date wouldn't hurt. Plus he's a good catch."

  "Really..." she said, dryly.

  "Yeah. He's successful, has no kids, he's tall, fine, college educated, shit, what more could you ask for?"

  Zara still wasn't impressed. "And what makes you think he would wanna date someone like me?"

  "Why wouldn't he? You're a great catch too." Reyna frowned.

  "Yeah, a junkie who’s been in and out of jail is a great catch."

  "Look, everyone has a past Zara. Just because yours was rough, doesn't mean you can't move forward and change for the better. And you're doing that right now. You're working, you're staying sober, you're getting your life together piece by piece. It's not gonna happen overnight, but eventually it w
ill. And plus, you're a great person, Zara. You're smart, talented, strong, beautiful, any man would be lucky to have you. And I’m not saying that because you're my sister, I mean that."

  Moved by her words, Zara grew emotional. Damn her sister for being so mushy.

  Reyna held her hand. "Don't let what happened in your past stop you from finding happiness, Zara. You don't deserve that."

  Chapter 15

  "Laurie's pregnant."

  Rodney spit out his drink. Vance stared at his beer bottle, twirling it idly as he slouched on the living room couch, expecting Rodney's reaction.

  Rodney wiped his mouth. "She's what?"

  "Pregnant," he said coolly, before taking another sip of his beer. It had taken weeks for the revelation of Laurie's pregnancy to settle in. When she first told him, nothing but anger seethed him at her deceiving him. A part of him still was. But he knew at this point, there was nothing he could do but just accept it.

  "My bad, man. You just threw me for a loop with that one. That’s good though. Congrats, bro." He extended his hand and Vance shook his head, taking another swing of his beer, the effects of it slowly beginning to settle in his system.

  "She trapped me."

  "Trapped you?" Rodney frowned.

  "Yeah...." Vance nodded with a sigh. "All this time I thought she was on the pill, only to find out she's been lying this whole time."

  "Damn, that's messed up."

  Vance hunched over, running his hand through waves.

  "But you should know better than that though, bro. You can never trust a woman when she tells you she's on the pill. You still either gotta wrap it up, or work on ya pull out game. 'Cause, these women, they sneaky when they wanna be."

  "Yeah, I know, but me and Laurie been together for a minute. She's the only woman I ever did that with, to be honest. I just never thought she would pull some shit like that." Vance frowned, anger deepening as he spoke. He really felt betrayed.

  "Look, the only thing I could say, is at least it's Laurie and not some crazy bitch that trapped you. Then I would'a told ya ass to leave dodge."

  Vance cracked a smile. "You stupid."

  "I'm serious though. At the end of the day, you and Laurie got something real. Shit, it can't be too bad."

  "True." Vance nodded. He didn't know why it felt like it though.

  "Shit, I know my time is coming soon."

  "You and Rey tryna have a baby?" He looked at him.

  "Yeah, soon. Rey's been talking about having a baby since college days. She always wanted to get married first though. So, I know once we tie that knot, she'll be ready to have a lil' one."

  "What about you? You ready for that?"

  "Yeah, I am. I never wanted to bring another kid into this world unless I had my shit together. There's no way I could let my seed starve or not have anything. I know what that feels like. So, I had to make sure me and my girl were financially stable first before I even think about having a kid. And right now, I'm at that point in my life where I think I'm ready for one."

  "Yeah, that's real..." Vance nodded. "Having a kid is a big step though. I still don't know if I’m ready for that."

  "Well you gotta be at this point. Got no choice."

  "Yeah."

  "Can't believe my boy 'bout to be a daddy though." Rodney pushed him, playfully. "Wait, till I tell the rest of the fellas. They not gonna believe this."

  "I don't even wanna hear what they asses gonna say," Vance shook his head. Rodney was the first person he told, he hadn't even shared the news to his mother yet. He had to let the reality fully sink in, before he went around spreading his business to everyone else.

  The doorbell rang, cutting their conversation short.

  "Can one of ya'll get that? It's Zara's date," Reyna shouted from upstairs.

  Vance frowned. Date?

  "Date?" Rodney uttered Vance's thoughts. He stood up and made his way to the door.

  Vance sat up, waiting to see what type of buster was bound to walk inside. Rodney opened the door and there stood a fair skinned man, clad in a black suit holding a bouquet of flowers.

  "Can I help you?" Rodney asked in an abrupt tone.

  "Hey uh, I'm here to pick up, Zara?" he said, tentatively.

  "And you are?"

  "I'm Sean. Her date."

  "Her date, huh?"

  "Yeah. Um, is this the correct house or...?"

  Reyna trotted down the stairs. "Heyyy, Sean. You're here early."

  They shared a hug. Rodney and Vance stared in suspicion.

  "Come on in." She stepped aside, welcoming him in. "Sean, this is my fiancé, Rodney. And Rodney, this is Sean, Zara's date."

  They greeted each other, shaking hands.

  "So, Zara’s still getting ready but she'll be down here soon. You could wait in the living room in the meantime. You want anything to drink?" Reyna asked.

  "No, I'm alright thanks," Sean declined.

  "Okay, she'll be down in just a few." Reyna said, before disappearing upstairs.

  "Come in and sit down, man." Rodney led him to the living room. "You sure you don't want anything to drink? We got some extra beer if you want."

  "Oh, no thanks. I don't drink." Sean followed.

  "You don't?" Rodney said, surprised.

  "No."

  Rodney gave him a long look, before nodding. "Okay, I respect that."

  They entered the living room.

  "This is my boy Vance," Rodney introduced.

  "How you doin'?"Sean extended his hand. "Sean."

  "Sup," Vance grasped his hand with a firm grip. Noticing how soft Sean's handshake was, he immediately knew the dude was soft. He could always tell a lot about a man by his handshake. He sized him up. He could tell he was one of them straight edged, clean cut, type of niggas. The thought of him going on a date with Zara was comical.

  "Go on and get comfortable man." Rodney took a seat on the couch as Sean sat across from him.

  "So, how you and Reyna know each other?"

  "Oh, I've known Reyna quite a while now. My grandmother's a patient of hers."

  "Really."

  "Yeah. Reyna’s really great at what she does."

  "At what she does? What you mean by that?" Rodney grew serious.

  "Oh, no I didn't mean-you know...like that…I meant, you know taking care of her patients." Sean explained nervously.

  Vance withheld laughter. This dude really was soft.

  Rodney smiled. "I'm just playing, man. I know what you meant."

  Sean eased a bit.

  "So, what do you do?" Rodney asked.

  "Me? Oh, I'm an accountant."

  "Oh an accountant." Rodney nodded as though impressed. "Where at?"

  "At the Federal Reserve Bank in Manhattan."

  "Oh wow, so you making money. Good for you man."

  Vance grinned at Rodney's facetiousness. He could be such an ass sometimes.

  "So, how'd you and my lil' sis meet?"

  "Oh, we never met. Reyna set this up."

  "Reyna?"

  "Yep." He nodded.

  "I'm not surprised. That's Miss Cupid right there."

  Sean chuckled. "Yeah, she told me about Zara and the things she said, she sounds like a great woman. So, I'm interested in meeting her."

  Vance nearly choked on his beer in laughter. Zara? A great woman?

  "You sure you want that, bruh?" he spoke up for the first time.

  "Huh?" Sean looked at him.

  "I said, you sure you want someone like Zara?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "She's bad news."

  "Aye, Vance." Rodney shot him a glare. "Chill out."

  “What? It’s the truth.” He shrugged.

  Sean shifted in his seat. “Uh, I’m not sure what you mean.”

  “Don’t listen to this fool, he don’t know what he’s talking about.” Rodney assured him.

  “Aye, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Please, explain what you mean,” Sean said

&nb
sp; “All I’m saying is, you don’t wanna get involved with a bitch like Zara. She’s been known for I’ around. Jumpin’ from one dude to the next, not to mention she’s a hood rat on top of that-“

  “Vance!” Rodney barked.

  “Iight, fuck it.” Vance drank the last contents in his bottle.

  “Look, don’t listen to anything this nigga says. He’s drunk out of his mind right now.” Rodney glared at Vance.

  “Pshh, I ain’t drunk.” He was only a tad bit intoxicated. He knew exactly what he was saying, the only thing was he didn’t give a damn what came out either. “I’m just sayin’, the man should know what type of chick he’s dealing with.”

  “Here she comes!” Reyna announced, hurrying down the staircase.

  Their attention drifted as Zara made her entrance. Vance paused, taken aback by her appearance. Her heels clicked against the wooden steps, as she strutted elegantly down the staircase. He could hardly pull his eyes off of her, taking in every part of her frame adorned in the striking red dress. Her perky breasts peaked sultry through the low cut halter top, teasing him as her slender honey brown legs showcased under the hem of her knee length dress, looked just as tantalizing. His eyes slowly trailed to her face. She looked even more stunning with her golden brown locks styled into a sleek bun, her face enhanced with subtle make up. Enthralled, he admired her beauty as though he were looking at her for the first time.

  She met his gaze, but he didn’t look away. He couldn’t.

  Blushing, she entered the living room. Sean stood up and walked toward her.

  “Wow, you look even more beautiful than I imagined,” Sean said as they hugged. “And these are for you.” He handed her the flowers and she thanked him with a smile.

  Vance shook his head. He had never seen anything so damn corny.

  “Aww,” Renya cooed. “You both look so cute.”

  “Okay, Rey.” Zara rolled her eyes as Sean laughed.

  “So, where are you taking my sister, Sean?”

  “It’s a surprise.” He licked his lips. “But I’m sure she’ll love it though.”

  “Aye, you take good care of her. I hope I don’t hear nothin’ crazy,” Rodney told him lightly.

  Sean laughed. “Naw, she’s in good hands. I promise.”

  They spoke for a few minutes, before Sean and Zara left the house. After a while Reyna went back upstairs, while Vance and Rodney remained in the living room.