Uncertain Past

by Roz Denny Fox

  “Same here,” he gasped. He still gripped her hips tightly because shock waves thundered through him, leaving him too weak to do anything but fall limply against her. Amazed, he realized he wanted her as much now as he had before they’d started down the path of no return. He continued to caress her hip.

  Emmy sighed contentedly and snuggled close to ward off a chill breeze blowing off the lake. She stopped pressing tiny kisses from Riley’s lips to his collar bone, made eye contact, then grinned mischievously. “So, I see you’ve found my pot of gold.”

  Riley leaned his weight on one elbow. He stared down at her, his expression puzzled.

  She slapped his arm playfully and flopped over on her stomach. Taking his free hand, she directed him to a spot on her hip that would be hidden by panties or a bathing suit. “Is there enough light for you to see? At Jake’s, you joked about a pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. Well, sir, you are one of the privileged few to reach it. After Seattle, I visited a second tattoo parlor in Portland, Oregon, where I had a final touch added. Just for the hell of it.”

  Riley bent for a closer inspection. What he’d guessed to be a birthmark was really a thumb-print-size outline of a kettle with a handle. Yellow stuff spilling over the edge of the pot could pass for gold nuggets, he supposed.

  He couldn’t help himself; he swatted Emmy on the butt. Amid shared laughter, he gathered her into his arms and rolled her over again for another steamy kiss. One that, in all probability, would have led to a second round of lovemaking, had he not heard a fretful voice calling from the other room.

  “Daddy! Daddy? Where are you? I’m thirsty.”

  Emmy, too, heard Alanna, and she sprang away from Riley. “My God!” Panting, she scrambled to find her scattered clothing. “Alanna could have walked in on us at any time. What on earth were we thinking, Riley?”

  “I’d say we pretty much acted out what we were thinking,” he said, arching an eyebrow wryly. Then he called to his daughter in a calm voice. “Hold on a minute, Alanna. Wait there. Daddy’s getting your water.”

  Emmy couldn’t believe how easy and methodically Riley donned his clothes. She had one leg of her jeans inside out and was trying hopelessly to correct the problem and pull on her lacy underpants. Ultimately, she didn’t manage to do either.

  He took the tangle of clothing from her shaking hands, turned the leg, then dropped a kiss on her nose as he handed back the pants. “I’ll take her some water. You probably ought to get hold of yourself before you put in an appearance.”

  She gaped after him, only freeing herself from the stupor when she heard a cupboard open and close and water running in the sink. As she hurriedly fumbled through dressing, Emmy wondered how often Riley did this sort of thing—leave a hot session of making love to be a dad. He seemed so cool and collected while she was clumsy, and panicked.

  But she refused to allow the green-eyed monster to gain victory over her self-confidence. What had happened between her and Riley had been brewing since it got put on hold due to no fault of their own. If she hadn’t been dragged away from Uncertain, they would’ve become lovers within half a dozen years. Before he went to college, anyway. However, that didn’t mean either had a claim on the other now.

  Checking to see that she had everything on and properly zipped and buttoned, Emmy went inside. She met Riley returning to the kitchen, an empty glass in one hand and a sleepy-eyed little girl cradled in his free arm.

  Emmy took the glass. Avoiding his gaze, she turned and tucked the glass into the dishwasher.

  “Alanna’s asked to go home so she can sleep in her own bed,” Riley said to Emmy’s back. “I, uh, really hate to run off.”

  She twirled one hand negligently in the air, still not looking at him. “I didn’t realize it was so late. You need to get up early for work tomorrow.”

  “Will you drop by my office in the morning and have Marge book you an appointment? Meanwhile, write down everything you remember about the last time you saw Frannie. We’ll be better prepared for Fielder’s questions. Oh, and catalogue the events that took place during the days after she disappeared.”

  “Two days. On the second, I was whisked away without warning.”

  “That’s right,” he said, sounding troubled. “Alanna, before you fall asleep on my shoulder, thank Emmy for dinner, please.”

  The girl lifted her head. “You cook good shrimp, Emmy. I had fun. Can I come over again tomorrow and play with Egypt?”

  Emmy smiled. “If it’s all right with your dad and Mrs. Yates, you can visit Egypt tomorrow afternoon. He naps a lot in the morning. He’s more ready to chase his ball after lunch.”

  “Daddy, is it all right?” Alanna’s words were muffled by a sleepy yawn.

  “As long as you don’t make a pest of yourself. Emmy, I’m counting on you to be the judge.”

  “We’ll be fine. Will you inform Mrs. Yates?” Emmy opened the front door and stepped back to give Riley room to pass.

  Catching her eye, he mouthed silently, “I’ll talk to you later.”

  Emmy blushed. She didn’t know what they’d say in the aftermath—didn’t know what there was to say. It had happened; that was all. They’d both had an old itch to scratch. And brother, had they scratched like pups with fleas. She was leery of trying to analyze what had happened. And reluctant to say she had regrets. Nor did she want to hear about any Riley might have. “I’ll drop by your office in the morning and set up an appointment. Maybe I’ll talk to you then.”

  “Jeez, Emmy, I feel like crap leaving this way.” Riley gestured helplessly, looking like he meant every word.

  Emmy rubbed her arms. Because Alanna didn’t act so sleepy now, Emmy mustered a smile for her benefit. “You’re off the hook for helping with dishes this time. We, uh, had old ground to cover tonight, Riley. But don’t think I expect a repeat.”

  Riley glanced back more than once before he reached his property. He was bothered by Emmy’s last speech. It sounded as though her carefully chosen words had placed tonight in the category of one-night stand. Unless she’d said it to divert the interest of his too curious daughter.

  Emmy withdrew without a wave. That certainly didn’t bode well. Damn, Riley wished he had the freedom to go back after he’d tucked Alanna into bed. But he was a father first. He’d never leave her alone in the house at night, not even for the few minutes it’d take to run next door. He’d have to try and corner Emmy when she came to his office to book an appointment. And he’d have to do it so Marge wouldn’t read anything into his request for a private meeting with a new client. He groaned silently. Marge had eagle eyes where anything out of the ordinary was concerned.

  He carried his daughter inside, resigned to the fact that he might have to wait a while before continuing where he and Emmy had left off. But, continue they would if he had anything to say about it.

  Emmy should have slept like a hibernating bear since she no longer had a solid bone in her body. Except she was too keyed up. Making love with Riley was all she could think about.

  She got out of bed once and tried to write the list he’d requested. She found herself sitting with chin in hand, daydreaming about the texture of Riley’s hair and the warm, wonderful heat of his skin. If she’d managed an hour of sleep before the sun streamed in the window and awakened her, she’d be surprised.

  A shower helped only minimally. She needed to get out of the house, away from the sun-drenched, screened porch that was a reminder. On the spur of the moment, she took out her iPhone and looked up the address for the pottery in Marshall, where Josey worked. Emmy decided to pick up a box of fresh doughnuts and drop in on Josey during her coffee break.

  The first thing Emmy saw when she drove in and parked in front of the factory was row after row of red clay flower pots in every size and shape imaginable. She slowly picked her way through the aisles shaded by wood-slat roofs,
envisioning how Fran’s house would look with pots of brightly blooming geraniums set along the front porch. Or was she foolish to spend her money decorating a place she might not stay in?

  Possibly. But Emmy knew that by the time she left here, she’d definitely be poorer—and happier. Poorer still once she stopped at the nursery she’d passed on the highway.

  A cashier at the pottery retail counter escorted Emmy to one of several picnic tables set in a shaded courtyard. The young woman said she’d find Josey and send her over. She asked for a name, which Emmy provided. “I haven’t seen Josey in some time. I think she’ll remember me, though.” Emmy set her box of doughnuts on the table.

  Josey did remember. She came charging out of one of the work barns, wiping clay-covered hands on a massive apron that flapped around her knees. When she got close enough to see Emmy’s face, she let out a squeal of delight. “I thought my ears were playing tricks on me when Kim said who was here. Let me look at you.” Tears gathered in dark eyes so like her brother’s. “I never thought we’d see you again, Emmy Monday. I want to hug you, but I’m a mess of green clay. Tell me you aren’t just passing through. We have so much to talk about. Where have you been?”

  “I’m here now, and I’m going to hug you regardless. Who cares about a little clay?” Emmy flung her arms around Josey’s sturdy shoulders and squeezed her for several seconds. “I brought doughnuts,” she said when they finally broke apart. “Is there a place here we can buy coffee or sodas?”

  “Both machines are over by the wall. Let me pay.” Josey fumbled under her apron, and pulled mashed one-dollar bills from her pocket. “If you’d get me an orange soda, I’ll go wash up and be right back. Just promise you won’t disappear again.”

  “I won’t.” Emmy chuckled. “For the record, it wasn’t my plan to leave last time. And now there’s no one with the power to order me away, thank goodness.”

  “No husband?” Josey picked up Emmy’s left hand.

  Emmy pulled back. “Nary a one. What about you?”

  Josey rolled her eyes. “I’ve been dating the same guy for ten years. He and I are both master potters. We work opposite shifts.” As if that explained why they hadn’t married, Josey shaded her eyes and treated Emmy to a piercing look. “How long have you been back? Have you seen Riley?”

  Emmy nodded. “Would you believe I’m living next door to him in Mom Fran’s old house? A story in itself. Listen, go ahead and wash up. I’ll get our drinks.” Really she needed a moment to figure out what and how much she’d tell Josey about her reunion with Riley. There’d been a time the two girls had shared the most intimate secrets. Emmy wasn’t as willing now.

  Josey returned in a flash. Emmy had just set two cans of soda next to the doughnut box when Josey sank down on one of the benches. “If you’ve talked to Riley, he’s probably told you what a horrible sister I am.”

  “He mentioned something vague about a problem. He just said you two hadn’t spoken in a while.”

  “Five years,” Josey replied darkly, pausing to choose a doughnut. She passed Emmy a napkin. “I should leave the story for him to tell. Maybe if he has to spell it out to someone, he’ll see how bull-headed he’s being.”

  “Wow, what happened? You idolized him.” Emmy gazed at the crown of braids arranged atop Josey’s head. She hadn’t changed her style in all these years. Emmy, always a blonde, had envied Josey the straight black hair that swept her knees.

  “You knew he got married?” When Emmy nodded, Josey went on. “I introduced them. We’d moved to Oklahoma. Lani Sky and I met at a Native craft fair. She lived on a neighboring reservation. I admired her beading. She made bracelets and necklaces using old techniques. To make a long story short, Riley had graduated from college with honors and passed the bar exam on his first try. The day he came to tell us, Lani was at the house, trying to talk my uncle into voting to ban non-Indian curriculum in the reservation school. Riley was riding high. Out of the blue, he invited Lani to go into Anadarko for dinner. It’s not far from Binger, where Mama lives. Riley included me. I can’t remember why I refused. Riley and Lani were opposites, so I never dreamed anything would come of his asking her out.”

  “Obviously they clicked,” Emmy said lightly, not sure after last night that she wanted the nitty-gritty details of Riley’s romance.

  Josey frowned. “She cast a spell on him. Or rather Lani’s uncle did. He’s a shaman.”

  Emmy stopped chewing her maple-frosted doughnut. She waited for Josey to say she was kidding. She didn’t. In fact, she continued talking about Lani’s practice of dabbling in the old lore. “Lani and her mother gave sessions in shape-shifting and soul retrieval. Her whole family believes the modern world threatens the communal way of life. They were entitled to their beliefs, but we’re talking about Riley, who ever since Dad died, turned away from anything remotely Indian.”

  Emmy recognized the truth in Josey’s statement. Looking back, she realized how hard Riley had tried to be exactly like Jed and Will and their friends.

  Josey apparently didn’t notice she’d momentarily lost Emmy. “Lani said once that her uncle held a quest retreat for the purpose of calling up someone versed in non-Native legalities. Someone capable of fighting for tribal rights. Lani’s uncle said the spirits had sent Riley to them, and Lani believed him. All I can figure is that Riley didn’t listen to what Lani was saying, and vice versa. She married Riley without really knowing him, then felt trapped when he insisted on practicing law in Uncertain.”

  “When they found themselves at odds, why didn’t they divorce?”

  “Two reasons. One, he was busy building his practice. Two, he served as chief contractor on the house he was having built. But to Lani, Riley had been sent by the spirits and she’d been chosen to open his eyes.”

  “The relationship sounds sad and hopelessly doomed.”

  “Yes. Riley woke up once Lani got pregnant. Up to then, he hadn’t paid attention to how often she took the bus to Oklahoma. She didn’t drive. Their house was done and he expected her to start taking an interest in making it a home.”

  “That’s understandable. It’s a beautiful place.”

  “Lani hated it. Remember, she preferred living in a remote hogan.”

  “Why deprive herself if she didn’t have to?”

  Josey lifted an eyebrow. “Not everyone is convinced our forefathers were deprived, Emmy. Many still believe the old way of life is better.”

  “I’m sorry, Josey. It’s hard for me to comprehend. Anyway, knowing Riley, I’m guessing he saw the problem after his wife died, and now he’s ridden with guilt.”

  “Oh, Emmy, if only it were that simple. Lani suffered more than the usual symptoms of pregnancy. Riley assumed she was under the care of Rico Santiago. He’s a good, reputable M.D. When she was about six months along, Riley discovered that Lani had been relying on her uncle for care, and he hit the roof. By then, the signs were everywhere. Lani used chants and spells involving skulls, teeth, claws and feathers. She brewed wild grasses, beaded elaborate fetishes and hid them in cupboards and drawers. Riley stormed through the house, ripping up some and burning others.”

  “Oh, my. I see now why Riley got so upset when I asked him if you’d taught Alanna to weave. I’m afraid I don’t understand, though, why he’s so mad at you. You’re family.”

  Josey crushed her soda can. “I’d already taken this job as a potter. It was a work day. A Friday. Lani phoned me quite early. She was close to her delivery date. Riley had apparently made her an appointment in Tyler for Monday to see a woman OB. He thought maybe it embarrassed her to see Rico. Of course, that wasn’t the problem. He and Lani had a huge fight over her uncle, who I guess insinuated the baby was cursed and would stay cursed until Riley returned to the fold. Lani begged me to take her home for the weekend. I can’t swear she said it’d be okay with Riley if I drove her, but she implied as much.
I hadn’t seen Mom in a month, so I agreed. Even asked for the day off. Lani didn’t look well when I picked her up. I tried to talk her out of making the trip. To this day, I don’t think Riley believes that.”

  Emmy hated to rush Josey, but she sensed her friend might not otherwise finish the story. “So you went?”

  “Yes. We’d no more than arrived at her family’s hogan—it’s miles from anywhere—when Lani started labor. Right off, I felt she was in too much pain. It seemed centered in her right side. Her uncle began to chant and shake his rattles. I pleaded with Lani’s mother to let me take her to the tribal clinic. They ordered me to leave.”

  “Oh, Josey. How awful for you.” Emmy curled her fingers around Josey’s work-roughened hands. “Don’t go on if telling me is too painful. I can guess. It wasn’t just because of the labor, but partly a bad appendix. If it ruptured, it’s a miracle Alanna lived.”

  “Exactly. And she might not have if Riley hadn’t intervened. Lani’s screams were so loud it scared me to death. I drove to my mom’s. I didn’t know what else to do. She phoned Riley at work and luckily caught him. Lucky for Alanna, anyway. He pitched a royal fit and ended up intimidating the tribal police. He ordered a private ambulance to collect Lani and deliver her to the county hospital. In doing that, he touched off a huge tribal ruckus. Jed flew him to Oklahoma. But it was too late. Lani died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. The crew delivered the baby. By the time Riley got there, Alanna was in infant ICU at a nontribal hospital.”

  “I still don’t understand why he won’t speak to you, Josey. It’s clear to me that without your intervention, he wouldn’t have Alanna.”

  She shrugged. “Or he might have saved Lani if I hadn’t taken her to Oklahoma.” She shook her head sadly. “Her uncle claimed his rituals could have pulled Lani’s sickness out. Riley had to appear before the tribal council to explain why he sent Lani to a non-Indian hospital. In the end all that saved his neck was the fact that he’s Indian himself. For all the good it does him. He was so angry, he ordered our council to strike his name from the Caddo rolls. He literally denounced his birthright, so Mother and I are supposed to consider him a nonperson. He has every right to refuse to see me. We’re no longer connected.”