Uncertain Past

by Roz Denny Fox

  Emmy hid a smile, but she was oh-so-tempted to thumb her nose and say, Neiner, neiner, now who looks like a big fat wiener? Of course, she didn’t. Amanda wasn’t addressing her. She never had. She’d always had a way of looking through Emmy, of acknowledging people around her with the express purpose of making her feel lower than dirt. That was in the old days. Emmy had since learned that a person could only make you feel unworthy if you allowed it to happen.

  Leaning back, she ran her gaze slowly over the old schoolmate who still thought she could trade on her family name. At the casino, when Emmy dealt cards, she’d perfected a bored, disinterested air. She donned it now, achieving the desired effect.

  Amanda barely concealed her blatant dislike. “Daddy’s only thinking about your professional reputation, Riley,” Amanda purred. “You should hear what people at Crazy Jake’s are saying. Positively everyone’s laughing because you let her beat you at darts. And really, she has that tacky tattoo.”

  Emmy tried to jerk free of Riley’s clamp on her fingers. She ought to have anticipated that kind of back-stabbing, given small-town attitudes. It wasn’t fair that Riley should take the brunt of it. She felt even guiltier since he revealed how he’d struggled to overcome childhood slights—no doubt from kids in Amanda’s circle.

  “Sorry to rush you away, Amanda, but our pizza’s ready.” He stood, casting an ominous shadow over their uninvited guest. “By the way, I didn’t let Emmy win. She’s that good.”

  Amanda tarried only long enough to telegraph Emmy a withering glance. Her flouncing exit in the short, oscillating skirt and three-inch-high sandals was worthy of an Academy Award.

  “Riley, you shouldn’t have provoked her. What if she runs to Ray and he spreads the word in the business community and ruins your practice?”

  “Ray has no hold over me. He tried to talk Hamish Abrams out of selling me his law practice. Hamish told him where to get off. He carried the contract so I wouldn’t have to borrow at the bank. Jennings isn’t nearly as influential in town as he and his family like to pretend. Amanda parrots Ray’s opinions. He had the nerve to refer to you as a nobody that day you and I met at the bank. It was laughable, him warning me off that way. Especially as he’s had a low opinion of me for years. Hey, that’s the second time they’ve called our number. I’d better grab our order before they give it away.”

  Another comment sat on the tip of Emmy’s tongue. She swallowed it the moment she noticed Alanna’s worried features. “It’s all right, hon.” Emmy pulled the child onto her lap. “That woman can’t hurt your daddy. She’s just a big old Snort. Remember how snorts shake the ground and make a lot of noise? Nobody pays attention because all they really do is spin their wheels.”

  “I ‘member. She didn’t look like a Snort. I don’t like her, Emmy.”

  Cuddling the child cheek to cheek, Emmy swayed back and forth. “Here comes your daddy with the pizza. The man behind him has our drinks. Let’s forget Miss Amanda and enjoy our special night.”

  “‘kay.”

  Riley returned in time to hear his daughter sniffle. He flagged an inquiring eyebrow at Emmy. She answered with a brief shake of her head.

  As the evening wore on, Emmy did her best to sustain the conversation. But Amanda had succeeded in what no doubt was her goal—to cast a pall over their outing.

  After they’d eaten all anyone wanted, Riley attempted to interest Alanna in some of the kiddie video games so he could talk seriously with Emmy. His attempt failed.

  Once they were all buckled back into his car, Riley returned to the subject of Emmy’s search. “We may need a while to figure out my friend’s resource data. I’m new to that kind of digging, Emmy. I find it hard to imagine finding someone who’s succeeded so long in not being found.”

  “That’s just it. What if my mother is open to being contacted? I’ve heard there’s a registry. It’s funny. Until I read about Fran—the finality of it—I’d been reluctant to launch a search. It seemed somehow disloyal to Mom Fran. Suddenly I’m thinking, what if my real mom’s tried to find me? Does that make sense?”

  “None of it makes sense to me, Emmy. Your mother deserted you. Is a woman who does something so abominable worth finding?”

  From the back seat, Alanna chimed in. “Have you lost your mama, Emmy? Me, too,” she said in a voice rife with feeling. “Maybe you and me could go on a ‘venture like the baby bird. He found his mother. I bet if we went together, we could find ours.”

  “Alanna, you can’t find your mother.” Riley shot Emmy a smoldering glance all but accusing her of wreaking trouble.

  Quite frankly, Emmy didn’t know what to say. Riley had brought up the subject. Did he think Alanna couldn’t hear? Still, she felt a measure of guilt that prompted her to remind the child, as Riley had earlier, that the story they’d read wasn’t real. “The book was make believe,” she told Alanna earnestly.

  “Right. Emmy and I were discussing business. You know Daddy helps people with legal problems. Emmy needs me to locate some old records. Records are files, like I keep in my office cabinet.”

  “Oh.” Alanna picked up the stuffed animal she’d brought along on the ride and popped her thumb into her mouth.

  It was the first time Emmy had seen the child suck her thumb. She studied Riley out of the corner of an eye. He seemed bothered by the turn of events but didn’t remark on the thumb sucking.

  Alanna had fallen asleep by the time they reached home. “I’ll wait here until you get inside your house, Emmy.” He avoided her eyes, although his expression seemed placid enough.

  “I’ve been finding my way home for a lot of years, Riley. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand.”

  He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “You never could hide your true feelings. You’ve got something you’re dying to say. So say it.”

  She clenched her hands in her lap. Facing him, she lowered her voice. “It’s not my business, Riley, but it sounded to me as if Alanna’s unsure about what happened to her mother. Take it from someone who understands how she feels—it’s a mistake not to be honest with her.”

  “You’re right, it’s none of your business.” Riley’s eyes had turned cold.

  “If I, a virtual stranger in town, have already learned the details, some kid in school is going to spill the beans just for the hell of it. I didn’t realize Mom Fran wasn’t my real mom until I started school. It cost the kid who told me a black eye. For a while after that, I didn’t believe anything Fran told me. The only way you can control how the news affects Alanna is to be honest with her.” She glanced into the back seat to make sure the girl under discussion was still sleeping.

  “I explained that her mom died. Beyond that . . . I can’t . . . won’t risk having her ask to see Lani’s family. They blame me for Lani’s death. What would I do if they convinced her of that absurdity?”

  “It’s human nature for her to be curious. The more open you are with her, the less likely she’ll be upset by random questions.”

  “Marge said almost the same thing to me today. Alanna has increased her inquisitiveness about her mother since Jed and Gwyn’s wedding. Apparently Gwyn pointed out jokingly to someone that having babies came after a couple got married. Miss Big Ears overheard.”

  “I’m surprised some little friend in the neighborhood hasn’t introduced the subject of mommies, daddies and babies.”

  “There are no neighbor kids.”

  “Surely you have married friends you socialize with who have children.”

  “Not really. Jed has none yet. Rico and Layla have kids, but being the town’s only doctor, he’s even busier than me. And the guys I meet at Crazy Jake’s, we share a beer and play darts. It’s nowhere we’d bring the family.”

  “No wonder Alanna’s so lonely. Kids need playmates.”

  “I take her to the park when I can. There are
other children on the gym sets. The last two years we’ve attended the county fair. She joins tons of kids her age on the kiddie rides. You saw her cavorting around with those little girls at the pizza parlor. She’s not repressed.”

  “No, but little girls need a best friend, like I had Josey. If for no other reason than to trade secrets.”

  He mumbled something noncommittal, and Emmy decided to expand on her remarks. “From the time I was in first grade, your sister and I were best buds. I thought you knew. We’d play for hours, beading friendship bracelets, weaving pot holders for Christmas gifts. Josey taught me how to make clay. I have wonderful memories of those days.”

  Riley fell silent again. “Uh . . . well, it’s getting late,” he said. “I need to put Alanna in the tub and then it’s off to bed.”

  “While we’re on the subject,” Emmy said. “There are worse things in life, Riley, than having a talented, gifted aunt who could teach Alanna crafts she could do during the hours she spends alone.”

  “Dammit, Emmy,” he whispered fiercely, “you always did push the bounds of friendship.” Riley caught her as she turned to open the car door, and slid her back across the seat, welding their lips together as if kissing her hard would make her forget their clash of opinions.

  Emmy wanted to tell him diversions wouldn’t work. Unfortunately, kissing Riley had the effect of emptying her mind. She braced against him for only a second or two, then she gave in with a sigh and flowed into his arms. Being together like this had a way of wiping out any opposition they might have. She shouldn’t be seduced off course by a few kisses, Emmy tried telling herself. No other man had ever made her forget her principles the way Riley did. Call it chemistry or—whatever—Riley had the power to turn her functioning brain to slush.

  By the time they came up for air, shared sweet goodbyes and Emmy stumbled across the yard to her house, she’d forgotten why she and Riley had disagreed—if, in fact, they had. Her sights were set on seeing him again tomorrow. At his office. She sure hoped the telephone man came when he was supposed to.

  Emmy got her wish. The phone truck arrived before noon. The house had an old style jack in the kitchen; it took the installer no time at all to update it and add one in the bedroom. He was gone by one o’clock. His truck had no sooner left than her phone rang. She snatched it up, assuming it would be Riley. It was Gwyn.

  “Where have you been keeping yourself? I’ll have you know I had to bribe the phone company for your new number. Just kidding.”

  “Sorry. I’ve been working through my list of to-dos.”

  “We heard Logan Fielder grilled you, Emmy. Jed asked me to call and make sure you were okay. He’s off looking at property all day.”

  “Fielder wanted me to substantiate things I’d said the first time he checked into Fran’s disappearance. I was grateful that Riley sat in, but I can’t say I felt like I’d been grilled. I guess you also heard about the trouble I stirred up by visiting the site where Tessa Lang found the . . . bones.” Her voice thinned markedly.

  Gwyn sighed. “Even though the land technically belongs to Jed, and Tessa had permits to excavate, the area is off-limits since it’s a crime scene.”

  “I should’ve known better than to cross their tape. I’m lucky Riley made a point of saying that Deputy Masters didn’t search me at the site to see if I’d taken anything. Of course I hadn’t touched a thing.”

  “I’d hoped the investigation had turned away from Frannie’s foster family.”

  Emmy wished she could reassure Gwyn. “Fielder doesn’t seem in any rush to look elsewhere. I asked about the handyman who’d been working on Fran’s porch. The sheriff said Belmonte was prone to go off on benders.”

  “For nineteen years? I know the man didn’t have a permanent address and he drifted from town to town. But Jed remembers this Belmonte character was always hanging around.”

  “Don’t worry, Gwyn. Jed is innocent. Fielder isn’t going to find the proof he needs to charge Jed because it simply doesn’t exist.”

  “Oh, am I glad you came back, Emmy. I know Jed didn’t kill anyone. I also know half the town thinks I was crazy to marry him under this cloud of suspicion.”

  “They need to get a life. Some people in this town are too quick to follow the lead of officious toads like Ray Jennings. Did you also hear he’s the one who turned me in? He claimed he thought I might’ve suffered the same fate as Frannie when he saw my empty pickup.”

  “Gee, most people would’ve figured you’d gone for a walk.”

  “Ray Jennings thinks his family owns the town. They poke their noses in everything. Say, before I forget—I did ask Riley to help me search for my birth mother. At first he said no. Later he changed his mind. A friend of his is sending him information about how to search and where to begin that’ll help us start. I was about to call Riley to firm up our appointment.”

  “Then I’ll let you go. Good luck, Emmy. If Jed or I can be of any assistance, you know where to find us. Even so, don’t be a stranger. We’re out with our stock a lot, but we’d love it if you followed us around just to chat.”

  “Thanks, Gwyn. I’m sure there’ll be some difficult times during this search. Talking generally helps. Plus, you have a friend who already went through this.”

  “Come by any time you want.”

  “I will.” Emmy hung up, and when she got a dial tone, called Riley. Marge put her right through to his office.

  “Hey,” he said, a smile in his voice wafting over the wire. “I guess this means your phone man arrived on time. I’m still free at four if you want to go over the search information. Mrs. Yates agreed to stay late and feed Alanna. I owe you a dinner, don’t forget. I thought the Lake House instead of Catfish Corner.”

  “Okay, but I don’t know if I’ll even be able to eat. I’m so nervous, it feels like I’m about to launch into a completely new phase of my life.”

  “I ran through part of the information. Just to make sure I understand how it works. Don’t get your hopes up too high, Emmy. It seems to me a person needs a certain amount of information to get going like a date of birth, a hospital, or doctor.”

  Emmy tried not to let his negativity dampen her enthusiasm. “Well, maybe I overheard things I didn’t think were important and so blocked it out, Riley.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” he said without much conviction. “Sorry, I gotta go. Marge buzzed to say I have a client waiting. See you soon.”

  Chapter Nine

  By the time Emmy parked outside Riley’s office building, a late-spring storm had moved in to obliterate the sun. The air smelled damp. Gusts of wind kicked up a discarded cigarette packet, tumbled it along the asphalt, rattling it against the curb. Emmy stepped on it as she ran for cover. She fought a losing battle in her mad dash, keeping her hair out of her eyes and her skirt at a decorous level.

  A carful of teenage boys rounded the corner. All but the driver leaned out the open windows to deliver wolf whistles. Ignoring the boys’ youthful hijinks, Emmy slipped into the building out of the determined wind. She’d been foolish to wear a full-skirted sundress. But she didn’t own many dresses, and she wanted to look nice since Riley had invited her to dinner.

  She tripped lightly up the stairs and ran full-tilt into Marge as the older woman exited Riley’s office.

  “Oh, good, you got here before I left.” Marge shooed Emmy toward the closed door. “The boss hasn’t outright asked after you, but every five minutes since about ten to four, he’s stuck his head out of his office to check the reception area. My, don’t you look pretty on this blustery afternoon.” Marge wound down, moving back a few feet to appraise Emmy’s outfit.

  “We’re going to the Lake House after Riley shows me the search program.”

  “I wonder if you know what a huge step this is for him,” Marge murmured.

  “And me.” Emmy twisted the should
er strap of her purse. “I’ve thought about instituting a search for so many years, but always got scared, for one reason or another.”

  “Then I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it goes like clockwork.”

  The door behind them flew inward. Riley peered into the hall. “I heard voices. Why are you two lurking out here? Marge? Weren’t you worried about being late to a town council meeting?”

  “Mm-hm.” Marge glanced between the two people whose nervous actions announced their edginess about the upcoming meeting. “Maybe I ought to stay and chaperon. Or is referee a more apt term?”

  The barb hit its mark with Riley. He reached past Marge and snagged Emmy’s arm. “I think I can be civilized. I know I’ve been acting like I think what we’re about to embark on will crack some window in time and suck Emmy right out of my hands. It’s really no more than a database of references of what places and people to target.”

  Emmy saw that Riley did seem tense. But he looked as good as ever. Today, the white shirt he wore rolled up past his forearms appeared rumpled, held in place only by a cool pair of suspenders. Until this moment, Emmy had never considered suspenders sexy. Or maybe it was because Riley wore them without a tie and his shirt was unbuttoned at the throat, exposing an inviting amount of smooth, bronzed flesh. A combination that made her palms sweat.

  “In case you decide to follow up on any leads,” Marge was saying as she clattered down the stairs to pause on the first landing, “I marked out afternoons on your calendar all next week, boss.”

  Riley seemed to freeze in the doorway.

  Emmy backed him into his office after a wave to Marge. Shutting the outer door decisively, she smiled. “Let’s see what your friend recommends, shall we? I’m sure there’ll be things I can do on my own without disrupting your schedule. Gwyn said her friend’s search took over a year. I’ll be bankrupt if I spend all my money up front to retain you. By the way, how much do I owe for the stuff your friend sent over?”