The Drama King #3: Confessions of a Prime Minister

by Hussain, Fahid

  “I’m on the honour roll, I can be a good actor and I’ll have a doctorate by a Canadian university. Oh and I could still be President if I wanted too.”

  She laughed, “You President, what have you done for the school?”

  “Do students really do much for a school or for themselves?” She argued on, told me I was so full of myself. Dropping her off at her house I headed home thinking about what we talked about. Maybe I really should do something great for the school, something that would be remembered for a long time. But what could that be? Being part of the student council caught my attention and just to piss off Brenda, maybe I should run for President. One problem, I would have to be nominated by twenty-students who weren’t close friends and recommended by a teacher.

  Friends or not, getting those nominations wouldn’t be a problem. It was a recommendation that I needed. Ms. Dawson was the first thing on my mind and if I could give the best possible performance for the big play, it would be a great way to convince her that I would be a shoe in for President. Finally, I got my chance at the roll and interestingly enough, it was Valerie that recommended me over the others to be Sir Guy. As we rehearsed our lines over the coming days, I decided to do something about Brenda and the Presidency.

  Can you imagine if I got an endorsement from President Valerie over her best friend? That was the key, the one thing I needed to do.

  The first show was for a school of elementary and middle school kids, it was on a Wednesday and I got a chance to skip classes for the day because of it. Wearing yellow tights, ankle strapped shoes and a red tunic that ended with a long skirt, it depicted nothing that I read of the origins of the character, but it didn’t matter; I was of nobility.

  Act 1 starts off with a musical dance of the Merry Men and Maid Marian captured by Sir Guy for the Sheriff. Prince John was on his way to Nottingham and Robin Hood tries to make a save. Sir Guy manages to subdue Robin Hood in the castle and easily imprisons him, while letting go of Maid Marian.

  Act 2 has Maid Marian meeting the Merry Men of Sherwood Forest. In many ways it felt quite like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and we get a glimpse of Robin Hood being beaten by the Sheriff and Sir Guy. Maid Marian meets with Sir Guy the night before the rescue mission.

  Act 3 has Robin Hood in a hood for hanging till Maid Marian is captured by the Sheriff’s men. An angry Sir Guy kills the Sheriff’s men, saves Robin Hood and takes Maid Marian away; while the Merry Men steal from the castle.

  Near the end of the play in Sherwood Forest, Robin Hood with Marian tells his Merry Men that it is time to free England from the evil reign of Prince John. The Merry Men complain that Robin Hood does nothing but make orders and is a true coward. Sir Guy appears and confirms that Robin really is a coward and that his sword is a fake. Taking out Robin’s sword I present it to the crowd who agrees it’s just a toy. The Merry Men, angry with Robin take a hold of him and sends him off to Prince John to take a cash reward and the reward was gold coins; enough to feed the people.

  For the audience we threw out gold chocolate coins and you could tell everyone wanted them. It was a lot of fun and the last scene of the act had the ‘new’ Robin Hood, who happens to be Sir Guy, take a hold of Maid Marian’s hand and kneels before her for the show to end and the curtains to roll.

  Valerie looked beautiful that day; she wore a blue velvet blouse and a Victorian-style hat and so I held her hand and asked her, “what’s so great being with a guy who lives thousands of miles away?”

  “What are you are talking about.”

  Getting up I asked her, “The guy Brenda told me about.”

  “You and Brenda went out?”

  “Just once, didn’t get a long though.” I could have taken advantage of the moment, taken the chance to exaggerate the story. Didn’t need too, she left right away to the dressing room and I got a vibe that something wasn’t right between the two.

  I started to investigate, asked a few members of the council about the two and found out that they had bigger issues than the American President Bill Clinton and his affair with an intern. Well truth is, back than Canadians had a bigger obsession with American politics than their own. Friends or not there friendship was broken after Brenda went after a guy last year whom Valerie liked. Now I had more reason to dislike Brenda, to ensure she loses the elections and more reason to have Valerie on my side.

  The next big show was up and this time it was for the public in general (with parents and students) at night and Ms. Dawson made a few changes to attract an older audience. I spent more time going over a few things we could do to make the show better; even include chocolates again. I needed some way to suck up and be a teacher’s pet if I had too and my dad actually made it to the show. It was great to see my dad speaking to Ms. Dawson after the show and I was glad he made it. We also offered students a two ticket deal to get more seats filled; an idea on my part

  It was funny seeing adults fighting over chocolates thrown around near the end of the show, it’s amazing how we think of our parents as being mature and yet you find most of them doing childish things at times. We all have a mischievous child in us and the real difference is as to whether we suppress it or let it loose.

  Before I got down on my knees, as the crowd was already chewing down on their golden coins I stared into Valerie’s eyes and said, “Would you go out with me?”

  She stuttered and whispered, “That’s not in the script.”

  I spoke out loud, “You told me once, that I look at you and I see someone who is speaking lines out of a book, not this time. What do you say?”

  Valerie smiled as the curtains rolled, no answer was given and we got a standing ovation (probably because of the chocolates) from the audience. I got up and she shook her head and answered, “I like you, I do. But I can’t go out with you.”

  This was going to be harder than I thought. It was great knowing she liked me and not going out with me would have been a problem. I didn’t want to let go, the campaign season was going to be on its way and something had to be done. The good news was that Ms. Dawson was fine with going off script and said ‘sometimes you just got to do it for your audience’.

  Brenda saw me after the play, asked me what it was I was doing. She knew the ending wasn’t in the script and claimed that she knew what I was doing. I didn’t give it a thought, but if she knew what my plan was there were two options that I had, continue to persist or do something different or maybe both.

  The next morning I went to a Harry Brown, same last name, same game I suppose. He was editor of the weekly paper and for me, journalists were a different breed of politicians and I figured he had to have some dirt on Brenda and Valerie’s relationship.

  Darren, my old friend and first black hockey player in our school to make it to the semi-finals was the first key to understanding the break up. We weren’t the best of friends, but we would sometimes cross each other in the halls with a simple ‘hey’ as part of our social pride; a great way to show off that we know a lot of people. It was a pity that Doug wanted him off the team the following year, heck his new team didn’t even make the play-offs and so Darren got into the basketball team (he was a twelfth-grader by this time).

  Who would have thought that one of the best players we had on our hockey team would become this year’s Captain of the Senior Basketball team in Grade 13? He wasn’t tall as the others were (he was six feet), he loved keeping his head shaved with a moustache, but he could dunk a mile’s distance I’d say.

  Last year during the campaign, Darren and Valerie started to hit it off after class at the local café; they were lab partners for a Physics project. It seemed that Brenda was jealous of their relationship and went after Darren in a flirtiest way that caught his attention. After a few dates she dumped him and told Valerie she only did it to protect her and that he was only interested in getting into her pants. Valerie wasn’t madly in love with him, but since he was popular and she was a Presidential candidate, it would have brought in some obvious support
.

  Like the play I was in of Robin Hood, maybe what I needed was a twist; Darren as my running-mate.

  The Campaign

  “We shall never build the nation which our potential resources make possible by dividing ourselves into Anglophones, Francophones, multiculturalphones, or whatever kind of phoneys you choose. I say: Canadians, first, last, and always!” John Diefenbaker, 13th Prime Minister of Canada, June 4th, 1973 House of Commons.

  Overbrook High Secondary School was now in for a surprise. Since October was a multi-cultural month, it was time to leave that month with the announcement of a running-mate who would be black. Sure, Brenda was considered a minority by the standards of the 90’s, but I didn’t want people to think of her that way especially since there were around Hispanic students in the whole school, and probably five-hundred amongst the black community.

  The first thing I needed, Darren by my side. He was inline, waiting for the gym door to open with his basketball team-mates waiting for practice. I shouted out his name and reaction from most of the team seemed like this white boy was saying something racist.

  “Darren we need to talk.”

  “Talk about what?” He was laughing and ignoring me at that point, but I managed to push him aside as he looked at me confused, “What do you want?”

  “How would you like to be my running-mate for President?”

  “You as President,” Shaking his head and laughing at the same time he continued, “I got a practice to worry about, heck I’m out of this school next term.”

  “And going to University, what better way to apply next month letting your University of choice know that you were involved with SAC.” He paused and started thinking about it.

  “Look hockey was fine man, but you guys weren’t what I call friends.” Ouch, I thought we were at the time, but he had a point and I could tell that he didn’t get along with Doug and some of the others.

  “I’m not looking for friends; I’m looking for an ally. You remember Brenda?”

  “You want me to run against her?”

  “Think about it, you’ll help me take down Brenda and you’ll be the first black Vice-President of Overbrook.”

  “I’ll think about it, but only because I know you hit Roger’s mom,” he started laughing as he made his way for the front. I couldn’t even fake a laugh. I never did tell anyone about that story and I wanted to forget about it. Was this the right candidate for me? I supposed he was, after all he had to be the most popular guy in school by default.

  The strangest thing happened the next day, I found Darren talking to Brenda and it seemed like she somehow knew he could be running for Vice President. I approached Darren when he was on his way to class and I asked him how everything was with the response I didn’t want to hear.

  “Brenda wants me to run as her running-mate,” Darren responded with a serious look on his face.

  “Are you kidding me?” It felt like trouble was brewing.

  Laughing away Darren says, “You’re so naïve man, we are in English together.”

  “Oh, right that’s great. So did you think about it?”

  “Yeah, I want to be President.”

  “You want to be President?”

  “Yeah right, the look on your face is classic.” Getting serious he continues, “I’ll be your running-mate, that’s if you can guarantee me that we would win. And two, I don’t want to do anything after the win; sure I’ll help you with the campaign wherever I can, but I got basketball to focus on and scholarships, man there’s a lot on my mind. Get me the win and you’ll have my team working for you.” Darren left for class and I stood there in the middle of the hallway, realizing that I was about to miss class myself.

  The Senior Basketball team on my side would be a great asset and they had to be completely loyal to Darren. I did a background check on him, would have been a bad idea not too. My new pal Harry shared some details of his school record; how he got them beats me. Darren was pretty decent in school from the twelfth grade, he had two A’s and the rest B’s with the exception of one C in Phys.Ed. Ironic it is to be Captain and not doing well in Phys.Ed, but the truth is Phys.Ed had little to do with how good you play. I needed to know his weaknesses, something that my opponent could exploit.

  I tracked down Darren’s old girlfriend who was with him during his hockey days. Her name was Charice, a west-Indian twelfth-grader and the infamous teen mom who brought in her daughter to our school’s day care centre every day. Darren’s not the father because they broke up when she cheated on him and her daughter is Caucasian. There weren’t that many interracial relationships back then, most of it had to do with the schools past reputation when students would get beaten up or mugged down for being in one. Racism did exist for a long time that’s for sure, we all like to lie to ourselves that it didn’t; but it did.

  When I approached Charice before the first bell rang it didn’t go well. Is it surprising that she would laugh in my face and tell me that she’s going to take Darren down to hell with her? I now knew she was Brenda’s running-mate. Kind of cold, heck I would have assumed that Brenda would have chosen someone who works with the SAC, but she now had an advantage.

  I may not have done a lot for the school, never bothered with SAC, but now I needed to start the campaign with a bang and what better way to challenge the opposition than to create issues from the smallest of things? It reminded me of my parents’ divorce, but this was my strategy.

  The basketball team already gave there nominations in for me, a nice unexpected gesture from the start and I got over thirty nominations from other students, more than enough needed. Ms. Dawson easily gave in her recommendation; sucking up can actually work. I was an official candidate and when November 2nd, 1998 came around, the public address announcement was made over the speakers that morning to announce that Arthur Brown and Brenda Williams were running for SAC President (the Vice President announcement followed shortly thereafter) and that voting will be held on November 25th. So began the campaign that changed my life.

  The first day was important, since I knew days before that I was an official candidate, I started making posters and flyers’ thinking this was a great idea. Not so much, I had the money to fund my campaign as much as I could, but sometimes ads don’t always work. That day at around lunch I started getting a stare down from many students across the school, the gazing stars soon became mist in the hallway; it was the fog of war ahead of me.

  Darren rushed to find me, we were to meet up outside of the school to hand out flyers and instead by my locker he shouted, “Change of plans!”

  “What are you talking about?” I responded.

  “Are you the father man?”

  “Father of what…wait does this have something to do with Charice?”

  “Yes. Now you either tell me or…”

  I got angry and interrupted, “Or what Darren? Looks like you weren’t the right guy for this.”

  Darren smiled and laughed replying, “Alright I’ll believe whatever it is you tell me so what we do?”

  I took a deep breath and responded, “We let them talk. People know you, they don’t know me. Let them talk, nine-graders have no idea who I am, they’ll get a chance to hear about me.”

  “As the guy who abandoned Charice and her daughter,” Darren frowned and I nodded.

  I waited patiently for two days, did nothing except tape up more posters and hand out flyers, even as I had to take in the different shades of laughs and hate or threats from some of Charice’s friends. She always did keep the man a secret, it would have been nice to find out who it was, but as I stood around the lockers handing out flyers, Valerie appeared before me like the first light at dawn.

  Valerie looked more beautiful than ever, there was a new sense of attraction towards her, for me even till this day…it was unexplainable. She wore a blue sweater and light-jeans. There was this fragrance of olives and aloe vera; it was her hair lotion. You know that smell you get from someone early in the morning, the kind
that makes you feel that person just took a shower? That’s how it was with her, always and every day. “Hey, is it true?” She asked softly.

  I glanced away and looked at her again, starting into her eyes and asked, “What do you think?”

  “Why are you running for President?”

  “Maybe I just have something to prove or maybe…” I started thinking about it and decided otherwise, “you want to talk…just talk after school, at the café across the street?”

  She smiled and said, “Sure, it’s a date.”

  A coffee date with the President was something I needed. As much as I liked her, wouldn’t this be great for a tabloid? We didn’t always spend time together in Drama class, at around this time we were going through history of theatre and studying different aspects of plays around the world in class. OAC Drama was no slacker class.

  Valerie was already sitting at the café across the street, sipping down on a coffee and a bagel. I got in, sat down across her as she was reading the paper in front of her, “You should try there bacon, egg and cheese bagel special, it’s great,” I whispered.

  “First, I don’t eat bacon; secondly there are probably more calories in that than a double cheeseburger. Maybe we should get down as to why you’re running for President?” She started sipping on her coffee and I decided to order vegetable soup as a way to continue conversation as long as possible.

  “To prove to Brenda that I could do it, that’s the honest truth.”

  “Not good enough, seriously you really need to work on your reason.”

  I laughed, “What do you mean?”

  “Well why should I place my ballot for Arthur Brown?”

  My smile faded, “Truth is I don’t have a reason except this, I mean…why did you become President?”

  “You really want to know my reason? I became President because I wanted to be popular and I liked a guy.”

  “Darren.”

  Valerie nods as the soup came by nice and warm; microwaved of course. She grabs a hold of the soup and starts to look inside, “Darren is like this soup, looks good and hot, but after you drink it, it doesn’t last too long. If you really want soup, you should learn how to make it at home; soup is usually stocked days earlier and microwaved from frozen containers.”