Starving the Monkeys: Fight Back Smarter

by Tom Baugh

  In addition, manufactured legal opportunities abound for those employees lucky enough to make a case for discrimination or harassment, both sexual and otherwise. Or demeaning treatment, emotional trauma, wrongful termination, et cetera. Add to that worker's compensation claims which convert a minor injury into a winning lottery ticket.

  Workers also enjoy holding their employers hostage to work stoppages, whether unionized or not. In the middle years of my company's growth, we often did below-cost work on projects which were intended to increase our visibility. Some of these projects were quoted based on an understanding that the beneficiary, a major indexed company, would reciprocate with some simple marketing which somehow never seemed to materialize. We will discuss that aspect in more detail later, including the risks large companies pose to your financial well-being and what to do about it.

  Regardless, these projects required receiving a large amount of material in a few containers. Upon receipt, we would run it through our quality assurance processes and repackage it. Then, we often shipped it back out the same day and the day after, in hundreds or thousands of parcels with worldwide destinations. These all-hands projects, planned months in advance, were one of the key justifications in my mind for having a significant staff.

  Almost without fail, however, despite careful coordination and advance notice, absenteeism peaked on these days. This absenteeism often left First Wife and I, with our small children rooting around underfoot, working until late at night repackaging these ourselves. This after many of our staff had spent their day lounging around at home. One of these projects landed on or about my firing bloodlust, stoking it further.

  I declined such projects after that particular exercise. And so evaporated much of the justification for a larger staff, who chose to avoid precisely that work which kept their pay flowing during the slower times. I also began to notice acts of outright sabotage which I had previously chalked up to inattention. For example, permanent markers were left in the whiteboard tray just before key vendor or customer design meetings. These produced bared-teeth smiles from the assembled as the boss looked silly to a customer trusting him, or not, with six figures of design work. Six figures which paid the pranksters' salaries.

  Solder flux bottles were moved from the lab to underneath the breakroom sink, requiring hours sunk into pointless searches. Staplers were left with only a few staples in them after having been loaded the previous day, and no staples to be found. A swarm of box cutters were nowhere to be found. Pens in the office supply cabinet had colored caps switched around.

  Neglect also abounded. Sparta blew up a computer by not using the protective device we made for sale to others and for which he provided product support.

  Key tasks were ignored, despite these being written in the little cardboard logbooks issued to everyone. And required for use as directed by the in-house time management course required of each new employee. As mentioned earlier, style guidelines for software and quality control procedures were ignored.

  Until my employment bloodlust, I had applied unlimited reserves of patience and guidance. Why was I so blind for so long? Two reasons.

  First, I had been spoiled by my experience at the Naval Academy and in the Marine Corps. There, I had been surrounded by the cream of the American crop. Even the few relative sluggards, by comparison with my employer experience, were hard-charging racehorses.

  The worst of the absolute Marine Corps jackasses were still focused on the mission. Most arguments were about how to get the mission done. Even those solely focused on their careers were trying to accomplish at least that much self-advancement. Was it moonbeams and lollipops and slaps on the back all around? Of course not. There were rivalries and pettiness and ongoing feuds and turf wars all the time. But when it came time to focus on the enemy and the mission, almost all of which was laid aside as we stood shoulder to shoulder.

  No one gives out medals for fighting the stupid on one's own side. So once the fighting was done, all of that crap popped back to the surface. But at least the boat anchors kept their mouths shut when the time was right. The only real risk was that some of the boat anchors might percolate up into positions of real authority when paper matters more. And some did. But fortunately, at least in my experience, none of these uber-anchors caused any real damage during the shooting war. They at least had the good grace to fade into the background when one got in their face. And if one was slippery enough and subtle enough about how one got in their face at crunch time, not even their court-martial pens held much ink afterward. Of course, one had to pick the right audience for these encounters.

  But men had to have the courage to do so. When the time came, enough did. And this was also part of Al Gray's intent as Commandant. He educated everyone enough so that exercising even this courage was invigorating, knowing that it was saving lives on the battlefield. And he educated even the uber-anchors enough to know that they would find few sympathetic to their offended sensibilities.

  In the Marine Corps, tasks did not get forgotten, sabotage was unheard of, and people were where they were supposed to be when required. And everyone knew what suck was, in the form of hard physical labor combined with unending motion and constant mental agility. The newest boot-camp graduate had skill and vigor and motivation which would overwhelm vice presidents my company has had. Or for that matter, Vice Presidents this country has had.

  Plus, in the context of the Marine Corps, and the Navy at sea, being a slacker could get you and a lot of your friends killed. The major issues came from the bureaucracy, but the Marines and sailors with whom I had day-today contact were exceptional people. Not so much for the typical employee.

  Second, I had, as have many, been programmed to believe in the innate goodness of people, and I had extended this belief unconditionally to my employees. Perhaps these same persons in the context of what they perceive as a "real company" may have comported themselves better. But the checks they received and cashed were real, and larger than they could expect elsewhere. Their benefits were real, and similarly larger. The flexibility of work hours were real. The explicit definition of responsibilities and tasks were real. Yet their positions in a small company left them acting as if they were in kindergarten. Perhaps this is why many small companies try to grow large enough to give the impression of "realness".

  This lesson required over a million dollars of my own money to learn. And I want to teach it to you for the price of this book and a few hours of your time. The lesson I learned is not knuckle under and grow large to provide many jobs so that your employees will take their assignments seriously. This is the lesson the monkeys, in their mindless and uncoordinated way, hope to teach.

  No, no, no. No.

  The lesson I learned instead is figure out how to avoid that collectivist extortion in the first place so that your company can stay small. This will allow you to care of your family while you and your family enjoy your ticks of the clock.

  We each have so precious few ticks of the clock. And I am done with spending them trying to get someone else to make the barest effort to lift a finger in his own behalf. This lesson applies to our society as a whole, by the way. And it applies to you, whether you own a small business, are an employee, or unemployed. We shall explore the options each of these have in detail later, but each path leads to the same destination. Note for now, however, that your path to individual liberty, and even your ability to survive a civilization-killing crisis, such as that which will be precipitated by rampant world-wide socialism, is paved with the same stones which are trod by small business. If you do not run your own business, employed or not, you must quickly begin thinking in that direction for reasons I will later make clear.

  So if you are a small business owner, or will soon become one, you still have a choice to make, but that choice is rapidly fading. Soon you will have no choice at all. You may choose to take the traditional path and grow to avoid the collectivist extortions which plague small businesses. If so, you will eventually be absorbe
d and spend your days dealing with the excesses which grow on a daily basis with each whim of legislature and executive alike. If you accept this option you will be eaten alive. Eaten as you imagine you are growing rich as measured solely in paper and numbers on a computer screen. You will spend your days chasing numbers which can shrink into meaninglessness by a stroke of a pen. And for many of you, already have.

  The other option will soon be the only choice you have. And that is to shrink your business while maintaining the level and quality of service which your worthwhile customers and clients rightfully expect. This approach will insulate you from the excesses while there is still time. I have learned how to do this, and I can teach it to you.

  You picked up this book because something resonated inside you when you first heard about it. If you are still reading, that resonance is growing stronger. If you continue to read it through, by the end you may throw this book aside in disgust. And I will try my hardest to get you to do just that. Or, you will be energized to take actions for the pure benefit of yourself and your family, and share this book with others.

  And in time, the economy will change as the storm clouds gather. The course has already been set by the monkeys themselves, its progress is as sure and unstoppable as the rising of the sun in the East.

  In the process, the monkeys may starve. That is not my problem anymore. And it shouldn't be yours, either. Because in reality, each monkey, each day and each moment, decides to starve himself.

  You now stand in front of this decision, possibly for the first time. Think for a moment about which path you wish to take. Monkey or Man?

  So, if you are still willing to proceed, I will introduce some preliminary concepts which are essential to the material in this book. Then, we'll talk about where money first came from.

  Chapter 3, Fundamental Concepts

  Before we launch into the meat of the material in this book, I need to make sure that everyone is reading from the same level. In general, older readers will be better prepared to understand the concepts in this book, but may be stunted in terms of web usage.

  On the other hand, younger readers will need some preparatory work, but generally possess superior Internet skills. In particular, those younger readers who suffered through the emasculating public school system, or especially those who have been disenfranchised by it, will need additional background information.

  If you are reading this from the perspective of someone who considers himself well-educated, then feel free to skip this chapter, or for that matter the rest of this book.

  Throughout this book, if I think a topic is important, I will direct you to self-study, using a banana symbol:

  Reading Assignment

  The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith This icon may direct you to read a book, or go to a website, or watch a movie or television program, or have you perform some independent study. All these assignments are essential to get the most out of this book. And each time you learn something, and then apply it for your own benefit, you take a banana away from a monkey somewhere.

  The example above directs the reader to a particular title. Some of these titles are so old that copyright protection no longer applies and are considered in the public domain. In the case of "The Wealth of Nations" or "The Communist Manifesto", these materials are available for free on a variety of websites.

  Ethically, I hate the idea of taking something from someone else for free, particularly his ideas. However, even if you bought these particular books, you would only be funding some other guy who took the material from the public domain and put it on paper. The original authors' heirs will not receive a penny from these purchases. So, if you insist on paper copies of some of this material, pay the publisher for the service of the printing, which is in itself a service of some value. Otherwise, read it for free today on the web. Other titles are relatively new and must be purchased, but "it's an education that pays for itself". By the way, this is a line I copied from a review of one of my other books. The title you are reading now is an even better education.

  Instead of indicating a book to read, I will sometimes direct the reader to watch a particular movie or television series. Just as works of written classical literature contain life lessons which are often analyzed in a classroom, motion pictures or television shows are merely the videotaped versions of written literature. Presented in a multi-media format instead of on a piece of paper, these resources can usually provide more information faster than could be obtained by reading.

  Some academic elitists look down their nose at watching movies as a form of education. If you share this elitist opinion, remember that Shakespeare is considered worthy of even graduate education. Yet Shakespeare was merely the Oliver Stone or Francis Ford Coppola of his day, and would have filmed his work had the technology been available.

  I may also direct the reader to perform a web search for a particular topic. What particular means of search you use is not nearly so important as the fact that you must be capable of doing this to enjoy the material I present. Also, a clever reader will notice that different search engines will sort and display different information to the user, and yet, for the most part, I don't cite any specific sites to read.

  Truth is not dependent on the source. By looking at a variety of sources on a topic, you can form your own opinion about how the world actually works. Unlike material presented in a linear fashion in a textbook, life throws random uncorrelated inputs at you on a regular basis. It is your responsibility to develop and use filtering skills for yourself. You may even find that I am completely wrong about some material I present in this book.

  You will find that the web is such a valuable resource which, if properly used and in specific applications, can exceed the utility of a library or formal education. I don't argue that it is probably best to get a formal education in some field which interests you. But, even in that field you will find that you still have only scratched the surface of what you need to learn to be effective. The reality of modern life is that you should never stop learning. Knowledge is power, and by educating yourself constantly you give yourself the power to take more and more control over your own destiny.

  Ultimately, attaining that power for yourself is the topic of this book. You will have to develop Internet skills for yourself, though. I know several supremely capable people who were entirely bypassed by the Internet. Some of these great people are under the misconception that value is provided by sweat and muscles. Muscles have some value, but, as we shall discuss in detail later, not nearly to the extent which one might romantically envision.

  These people continue to suffer without the access to information or opportunities which the web presents, and some refuse to change to their sole detriment. Some feel that the formal system which subjected them to oppression or arrest uses technology to amplify the power of the weak. Because of this impression, they refuse to access this power for themselves, a sadly short-sighted strategy. If you are in any of these categories, read no further in this book until you get a computer and learn how to use it to find out information on the Internet for yourself.

  So first, get a computer. Which flavor you choose, Mac or PC or Linux, isn't that important for the material in this book. You may ultimately choose to get several. Computers are super cheap these days, and will provide you with more personal power per dollar than any other appliance you own, including your car. Artistic and creative types will get more utility from a Mac, while Linux favors plinking around with code all day. The PC is more or less the jack of all trades and the middle of the road. Ask some friends for their opinions and then make your own decision. It's good practice.

  Next, get to the internet using your favorite internet service provider such as your phone company, your cable company, or a third party internet service specialist. Which one you choose isn't as important as having one. Ask someone for help getting started if you need to. If you have to, get an account at a public library and start using their computers to access the interne
t to perform the required research.

  The first thing you need to do with your internet-enabled PC (used generically to refer to any of the three flavors) is learn how to perform a web search. Use Google, Yahoo, and whatever others your friends might suggest and compare results.

  Your first assignment to test your skill here is to look for "The Communist Manifesto", written in 1848.

  Internet Research

  The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx You will find that several websites talk about it, others give you the entire text, while still others let you purchase a printed copy. Analysis usually isn't as important as the raw information, in this case the text itself. Learn to distinguish between these types of sites, all of which provide value for different purposes.

  Go out on the web now, find that manifesto, and read it from start to finish. Every single word of it. You may be surprised at how well it describes elements of our modern world.

  The next thing you need to find on the web is an online encyclopedia. I enjoy Wikipedia, found at www.wikipedia.org. This kind of web content is different from a generic search, and lets you browse around through related material. For example, when you performed your web search for "Communist Manifesto", that topic on Wikipedia probably showed as an option. If you went there, you could click on "Karl Marx" and read something about him. Then from there you might click on "Kingdom of Prussia" and read something about that, then click on "bubonic plague" from there, and so on.

  The symbol for Wikipedia is a globe consisting of jigsaw puzzle pieces, which I think is a particularly apt choice. Note that many of the articles you find on Wikipedia have the flavor of a school paper. This is not by accident, since Wikipedia can be authored by anyone. You could even add content if you want. Or edit the content of others. So, take everything you read there with a block of salt, and check out the links to the source material or other citations and follow those threads. Sometimes, the material you find will be so different from the encyclopedic condensation that you will wonder if the article author even read his own references.