Starving the Monkeys: Fight Back Smarter

by Tom Baugh

  Tutorial Materials

  Saxon Physics by John Saxon Like the math courses, this course is available as a kit with solved problems, and presented using the same baby steps as his math courses, meaning, with relentless drilling. Once you complete all the material in this course, including taking the exams, you will have a better understanding of physics than most college graduates, despite this course's placement in the realm of high school physics. The distinction between traditional high school physics and college physics is the use of calculus in the latter.

  However, in most school systems high school physics has been watered down to barely more than the "heat the balloon and it expands" kind of elementary school fluff. Because of this what had been taught in high schools has been pushed into college, with the college-level calculus-based material often falling off the other end.

  As a traditional high school physics course, this material introduces some calculus. But, you can start working the physics course at any time after completing the algebra courses. Your understanding of physics will be better if you wait to finish physics until at least starting the calculus course.

  Beyond physics, there are many other math-based courses which you will need to take in order to better understand the world around you and how you can bend it to your purpose. Chemistry is the most important of those courses. Taught in high school, chemistry has also been aggressively watered down to the point of uselessness. Presumably, this is an attempt to prevent high school graduates from entering the drug war on the wrong side or pulling off an Oklahoma City.

  Once you start teaching yourself or your child chemistry, if you tell anyone about it they will come to one of two conclusions: a) you are making bombs, or b) you are running a meth lab. So, although you will be doing neither for reasons I will explain in a later chapter, you will want to keep quiet about your studies to avoid the modern equivalent of a Salem witch hunt. Once you get some chemistry behind you, you will really enjoy a fictional account of what the collective fears from you:

  Video Assignment

  AMC Series "Breaking Bad", Season 1 One thing I like about the first season of this series is that it points out the power which knowledge provides. Although the hero of the story is often too sick with cancer to do little more than vomit, he uses his knowledge of chemistry to solve a variety of seedy problems. I also appreciate the depicted hypocrisy of a DEA agent hosting a weed party. More on that later.

  Another theme running throughout that series reflects the paranoia which chemistry invokes in our society. Many of the chemicals which are useful and necessary in our modern world have become listed by the drug enforcement officials, and so these must be tightly controlled. Ironically, when Walt, the central character, needs these materials he simply steals them. This makes the interesting point that compounded charges are of little consequence when he would already be serving multiple life sentences for the original offense. Again, we will address this topic further in another chapter.

  For a starter course which is suitable for novice and expert alike, I recommend a charming little book by a clever professor at a remote Virginia campus (thankfully for him, not Virginia Tech, since I respect him deeply):

  Reading Assignment

  Caveman Chemistry by Kevin M. Dunn If you have seen The History Channel's "Acids" episode of the Modern Marvels series, you will have seen Professor Dunn demonstrating the power of acids in a couple of lab shots. His book is a series of twenty-eight chapters which give the history of chemistry from fire to plastics. He includes a practical exercise at the end of each chapter accessible by anyone.

  Unlike the public school fluff, these exercises have some meat to them, like making paper by extracting cellulose fibers from wood, or making bleach from salt. Unlike web-based recipes, he explains the underlying chemistry behind each of these experiments. Sadly, these experiments at one time were the kind that were within the reach of any high school student. The downside of "Caveman Chemistry" for most folks is that Kevin narrates his book as the four alchemical elements: air, water, fire and earth. This choice makes perfect sense in the context of the book. But, as with Saxon's gremlins and fairies, Kevin's choices will ultimately make him and his book targets for the forces of niceness. Probably by framing him for drug possession. Or by something equally absurd, such as campaigning for revoking his tenure at this little college in the middle of Bibleland.

  Out of all the subjects which you have to master, chemistry will be the toughest because of our society's superstitions. While in junior high, I taught myself chemistry from a high school text book from the sixties. By the time I entered high school myself in the early eighties, the material in the seventies book had already been significantly watered down. I looked at a modern chemistry textbook recently, and it was hardly better than a fourth grade science book of my day. As of this writing, I know of no useful self-study chemistry courses at the level of Saxon. I guess we'll have to wait until Kevin writes one after he gets fired.

  Or, you could root around at estate sales or used book stores and find an older high school or college chemistry text. But without the solved problems in the hard-to-find teacher's editions you will find it hard to give yourself the feedback necessary to correct your mistakes. If you should happen to find a teacher's edition of a chemistry text from the sixties, guard it like the alchemical gold which it is. Failing that, you can supplement your chemistry text with a solved problems guide, the most popular of which is available from Schaum's in the form of their outline series. I know it seems awkward, but I think the apostrophe "s" is part of their name:

  Tutorial Materials

  Any sixties or earlier high school chemistry text, and the chemistry volume of the Schaum's Outline Series. The Schaum's outlines are intended as supplemental solved problems for a student in just about any speciality. These are usually applied after a knucklehead missed every problem in his homework, and the professor is too busy to monitor the detailed practice required to get knucklehead up to passing. In your case, use the Schaum's outline as a source of solved problems to practice the material you read in your text. Just cover up the solution below the problem and treat each problem as a mini exam. If you get stuck, the solved problem will fill in the gaps nicely for you. You may have to flip around a little to correlate the solved problems with the material in the text as there is no standard straight line from topic to topic.

  The next area of mathematics you need so that you can understand many of the sciences involves how random events have real effects. This discipline is known as probability. A lot of what is involved in probability is similar to conventional wisdom involving coin, dice and card games, but there is so much more underneath the surface. Casino gambling is hardly relevant to either running a small business or surviving a crisis. But, in either of those scenarios the knowledge of this field is helpful.

  Tutorial Materials

  Any probability text and a probability volume of the Schaum's Outline Series. Related to probability is the field of statistics, which analyzes trends and patterns to be able to predict likely future outcomes or look for potential improvements. Sadly, much of modern statistics comes into play by looking for potential improvements in ways to tax you further, but beyond that, the techniques are important to know.

  Tutorial Materials

  Any statistics text and a statistics volume of the Schaum's Outline Series. Often, these previous two disciplines are presented together as a single probability and statistics block.

  Another course you should prepare for yourself is differential equations. Differential equations, singular, is the name of a branch of mathematics which is used to describe systems which can vary in more than one way over time. These skills are useful in modeling thermodynamic systems or economic systems.

  Oddly, the more you learn about the physical world and the economic world, the more you will find that they are similar. Whether you wish to know how a bad idea spreads through a population like a virulent disease, or how fission proceeds
in a nuclear bomb, or how detonation proceeds, or doesn't, through a mass of pelletized material when blasting a quarry, the processes are remarkably similar. Differential equations are a powerful tool for understanding the vast majority of natural processes, once you understand the underlying physics, chemistry and calculus. Fortunately, there is no way to water this material down into uselessness.

  Tutorial Materials

  Any differential equations text and a differential equations volume of the Schaum's Outline Series. If you are starting to feel intimidated, don't be. I will explain later why this feeling has been implanted in you to keep you away from knowledge. In the meantime, forge ahead.

  I could continue recommending mathematical courses ad infinitum, but I will stop at one more course, which is linear algebra. Linear algebra, sometimes called matrix algebra, is a powerful set of techniques which is useful for simultaneously solving equations. When you have spent six months grinding through the Saxon physics book, you will from time to time find yourself wishing there was a better way to solve the equations which result. There is, and linear algebra is the name of that way. As with differential equations, there is no watered down version.

  Tutorial Materials

  Any linear algebra text, and a linear algebra volume of the Schaum's Outline Series. Rumor has it that a lot of our advanced control theory was developed by the Soviets and their crop of defected German scientists during the Cold War. Most of their way of looking at control systems was through linear algebra rather than pure differential equations as was the predominant Western technique. They did this because they lacked access to the computing technology which we take for granted. Adopt these techniques for yourself, and then apply modern computing. The result is something really powerful in your hands. What is that something? Well, that is up to you, of course.

  The third science course you will need after physics and chemistry is biology. As with physics and chemistry, this field is so wide that you will never learn it all, but you need to understand physics and chemistry before tackling this one. For the purposes of our discussion here, a good text on elementary biology and physiology is important, and you should be able to find plenty of references for those topics. Unlike physics and chemistry, which require you to be able to solve problems, biology and physiology are encyclopedic topics which requires you to understand concepts but not necessarily apply them.

  While you are at it, carve up some roadkill and see what an intricate and miraculous creation is the body of even the simplest animal. Attempt to draw what you find and notice most of all how what you see defies even the best artist. How can you see something so complex, and be able to describe it, yet not draw it in a way which even comes close to reproducing it with any fidelity?

  Be careful to not let anyone see you doing this exercise or else that will kick off its own kind of witch hunt in our world of modern superstition. Carving up a pig in a classroom is science, doing the same thing with a possum you found on the road is just sick.

  Tutorial Materials

  Any biology and physiology texts you find of interest to you. By the way, differential equations and calculus can be used to describe how medications are absorbed into the body. This is the domain of pharmacology, which means that the pharmacist and the anesthesiologist must understand aspects of the human body which can never be seen, but only observed indirectly through the body's response to their inputs. Contrast this set of skills with those of the surgeon who applies practiced hands to remove or correct anatomical abnormalities. The pharmacologist's and anesthesiologist's scalpels are their knowledge of differential equations and chemistry.

  One of the earliest gaseous modern anaesthetic substances is nitrous oxide, also known as laughing gas. This substance can easily be made from materials which are disturbing to modern society. But, care must be taken in filtering out undesirable byproducts and to ensure that the reaction temperature is not too high or else the whole setup will explode. Notice that producing nitrous oxide requires melting a mass of the essential feedstock. Find a website which describes how nitrous oxide may be prepared, and then apply your new knowledge of chemistry to understand how the requisite materials might be obtained.

  Internet Research

  Research the history and preparation of nitrous oxide. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE! Also notice how useful this substance is in industry, and the curious dilemma which regulatory bodies find themselves in while attempting to regulate it. More about this problem later in the book, and how it affects your efforts to run any legitimate business.

  The downside of nitrous oxide is that the patient never actually loses consciousness, merely their sensitivity to pain and their fear. This leaves the patient capable of responding to commands and inquiries, which makes it supremely useful for the dentist who lacks the services of an anesthesiologist. To be of use to the surgeon, an anesthetic must put the patient out cold. Enter diethyl ether, first used as a surgical anesthetic by Dr. Long in Jefferson, Georgia, in 1842.

  Internet Research

  Research the history and preparation of diethyl ether. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE! Again, apply your new knowledge of chemistry to analyze the production of diethyl ether. Note that there is an easy way to synthesize this anesthetic using two simple materials found in almost any home. Again, don't try actually making any, as it is explosive, subject to explosive peroxide formation and will make you vomit. It is this set of properties which made it gradually lose favor for surgical use versus halogenated ethers such as halothane, or 2-bromo-2-chloro-1,1,1-triflouro-ethane. If you seriously applied yourself to learning organic chemistry as I suggested, that last name will make perfect sense to you.

  Internet Research

  Research the history and preparation of halothane. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE! One of the interesting side effects of becoming conversant in a number of fields is that you are able to better comprehend the world around you. For example, if you have educated yourself as I have recommended, and researched the three substances I have indicated, you will find yourself better prepared to undergo surgery, for example. When coming out from under the effects of anesthesia, you will understand why the hospital staff treats you the way they do, and be better able to cooperate and assist in your own care.

  In a similar way, understanding the details of the material I recommend that you learn will come to your aid in less obvious ways throughout your experience as an entrepreneur. The veil will be lifted from the mysteries of surgery, allowing you to see the anesthesiologist as a star of the show rather than a mere backup singer. Similarly, knowing more about fields other than yours will allow you to not be deluded by those around you as to their true significance. It is impossible for me to predict in exactly what ways these benefits will accrue to your specific circumstances. But, from my knowledge of the world and its workings, I know that these benefits will arise at times when you least expect. Knowledge works in mysterious ways.

  We live in the electronic age, and as such you need to understand electricity and electronics much as the farmer of old needed to understand the weather and the seasons. We already discussed some of the computer skills you need, but you also need some background information about how power gets to that computer and something about the inside of the box itself. Knowing how homes and commercial buildings are wired is important to gain a perspective into a trade which requires licensing in most jurisdictions to do work for hire. But, this work can easily be done for yourself in your own home or office. In your physics course, you will have been introduced to the basics of electronic circuits, but before then you could start learning about electrical wiring. I recommend two books:

  Reading Assignment

  Practical Electrical Wiring by Richter and Hartwell

  Reading Assignment

  Wiring a House by Rex Cauldwell The first book has an enormous amount of detail and background theory, and so can perform as a self-study reading course. Assign yourself a couple or three chapters a week. Be sure to follow through the example c
alculations yourself on paper. The second book is a heavily illustrated guide to actual wiring installations. Reading this book has been said to be like watching a master electrician in action.

  After you have finished your physics course, you will then be ready to tackle some introductory electrical engineering. In this course, find a college-level electrical engineering textbook and back it up with the Schaum's outline. Then, just as you did with chemistry, read the text then find related exercises in the Schaum's outline. Your goal is to find out how to analyze circuits which involve resistors, capacitors, inductors, diodes and transistors. This knowledge, combined with your electrician's knowledge, will enable you to crack open your HVAC system and understand just about everything going on inside. As well as to strip old appliances for parts if you feel so inclined should the need arise.

  Tutorial Materials

  Any college electrical engineering or electrical circuits textbook and a related volume of the Schaum's Outline Series. Everyone reading this book can also benefit by learning at least a little about using computers. I mention throughout this book that it is important for individuals to think of themselves as businesses rather than as employees. The sole negative to this perspective, and a negative which has been deliberately designed to keep you dependent, is that businesses have to handle a layer of taxes which is potentially overwhelming. To overcome this obstacle, you must learn how to use a computer well enough to manipulate the data to handle your taxes on your own. Computers are essential for this work. It doesn't matter whether you drive a truck or weld for a living, you must be able to navigate those tax forms to enjoy independence and control of your own destiny. Otherwise you will be forced to accept the role of a cubicle or cab slave.