Beer Goggles Anthology

by Anthology

  I’m trying hard to forget the situation and merely find distraction and enjoyment in Ruby when Wanda catches my attention. She’s not looking at me or doing anything out of the ordinary. In fact, she appears to be giving some man that’s a little over exuberant a hard time, but her words from earlier come back to me. “Who’s she to you?” she asked.

  A plan starts to form in my mind. I have a person who I know will make this happen for me if I ask and there’s an opportunity, but I never ever wanted to use the favor. The price for her help is steeper than I’ve ever wanted to pay, and I almost shudder when I think about it, but as Ruby’s hand brushes the front of me again, I think desperate times and all that.

  “Come on.” I stand up and in doing so make Ruby splash some of her beer on herself. She immediately starts laughing and I chuckle. “Oops, guess I’ll just have to buy you another one.”

  “Okay,” she says and follows me down the aisle. TJ and Opal ask after us, but I ignore them. Not like they have been any help anyway. When we get to the top of the stairs, I move out of the way of the people walking back and forth and ask Ruby, “You have the ashes right? Please make sure.”

  She reaches in her bag and pulls them out, “Right here.”

  “Okay,” I nod. “All right, so I have a plan. I have a plan!” I yell to everyone around me. I’m not really sure why, but it seems like a great idea. Some people laugh, others glance at me and keep walking.

  Ruby giggles, “What is it?”

  “Ruby, your lips are rubilicious,” I tell her out of nowhere. And then I put my mouth on hers. Why? Because I want to. She’s surprised for an instant and then kisses me back enthusiastically. Her hands cup my face and slide into my hair, and I pull her body close to mine as I explore her mouth and my hands roam to her ass.

  “Wow,” she says when she pulls away and I happen to agree with her assessment.

  “All right, let’s do this. Here’s the deal. There is someone here who will do a favor for me, a favor that will get us on the field.”

  “Really? Why didn’t we just do that to begin with?”

  “Because I really wanted to avoid this if at all possible.”

  “Why?”

  “Let’s just say that the payment I’m going to owe in exchange is one that I won’t enjoy.”

  “Wait. Is this something…you know…”

  I look at her in confusion. “You know…what?”

  She leans in like she’s going to whisper something to me, but ends up practically yelling it. “Is the favor a sexual favor?”

  Someone walking by looks over at us in disgust. Another person says, “Disgusting,” and I even get an “Atta boy,” from some guy walking by.

  “No! I’m not asking her for sexual favors,” I announce and Ruby giggles.

  “Maybe you should, Jensen,” she says and puts her hand on my chest and then trails her fingernail down the front of my body. “Of me.” Hell if my cock doesn’t stand at attention right then and there. It takes me a moment to compose myself. Clearing my throat, I shake my head. “Okay, but not right now, the seventh inning will start soon and we need to be ready.”

  “For what, exactly?”

  “I think the less you know the better, because it will be more believable if one of us acts more natural.” She nods as if she understands when I know she really doesn’t. That’s okay though. “I do have one important question and if it isn’t okay, then this isn’t going to work.”

  “What is it?”

  “Do you have a problem with me being the one that spreads his ashes inconspicuously?”

  “No,” she says immediately. “I’ll be with you, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Then definitely no. At this point, I just want it to happen. If that means you need to be the one to drop them, that’s fine. I just want to honor his wishes.” And as I realize she’s tearing up a little, I wonder if she usually cries when she’s had too much to drink.

  “Okay then, let’s go.”

  She follows me and once again I find myself maneuvering through the crowd trying to get to my destination in a hurry. Somewhere in my mind, I wonder why my steps seem to be a bit sluggish, like my feet are heavier than usual, but fixate on my destination and plan instead. I keep checking to be sure that Ruby is keeping up with me, which is strange, because she must be; I am holding her hand. My head is buzzing. At one point, I’m stopped due to the large crowd and realize the area momentarily spins. I shake my head as if to clear it and proceed. As we approach a gift shop, I enter and turn to Ruby. “Wait here. I have to grab something really quick.”

  “Okay, I’ll just be right here.” She points at the ground and I quickly move through the store searching for what I need. When I find it, I bring it to the register, pay, and make it back to where Ruby was standing quickly, but she’s not where I left her.

  “Ruby?” I call her name and look around and when I don’t see her I call her name louder.

  “Over here, Jensen,” I hear her voice come from somewhere else inside the store. I walk around until I find her. She’s got a huge foam finger on her hand and she’s staring at it wide-eyed. “My hand looks huge,” she says and then she starts waving it around.

  When she starts poking me with it and laughing, I grab it from her with a laugh, “Come on, we’ve got to go. I can buy you one later if you really want it.” I steer her out of the store, but she still tries to stop and touch several things on the way out.

  We take the stairs down to the lower level and I trip on one, and since she’s holding my hand next to me, she trips too. We catch ourselves, but start laughing at the fact we almost face planted. When we calm, I take off again, on a mission to find Barbara at the same gate she works at every single game. Another gate that leads to a tunnel that opens right onto the field. It’s on the other side from where we entered earlier.

  As soon as I see her talking to a fan, I turn around and take Ruby’s shoulders in my hands. “I need you to wait here, okay? I mean it, Ruby. If you want this to happen, then you can’t move.”

  “Okay, Jensen. I promise.”

  I hold eye contact with her for a moment more. When she nods again, I smirk and turn and walk toward Barbara, my smile falling a little at what I’m about to do.

  Inning Seven

  “Hi Barbara,” I say giving her my killer smile. “Is it just me or are you even more gorgeous than you were the last time I saw you?”

  “Jensen, you flirt. How are you doing, and what do you want?”

  “Barbara, I’m shocked.”

  “Sure you are.” She rolls her eyes.

  Barbara is a really nice lady. I almost feel guilty that I’m dreading talking to her so much. She’s another person that’s worked here at Wrigley for as long as I can remember. In fact, she has a daughter my age, Kate, and we used to run around the park together. Since I’m an only child, she was my playmate for years. As we got older, we grew apart as our interests changed, meaning I still came here and loved baseball and she didn’t. I remember her ballet classes and girly sleepovers increasing and thinking it was incredibly stupid when compared to spending time here. Over the years, Barbara has tried to convince me to take her daughter out on a date. I have no idea if Kate is even aware of Barbara’s efforts, and my guess is no, but nevertheless she persists.

  I’ve gotten to staying away from her, and even turning and walking the other way when I see her around. It’s always made me feel bad to tell her no. “How are you doing, Babs? Excited for a new season?”

  “Did you just call me, ‘Babs?’”

  “Yes, do you love it?”

  “No.”

  “Oh, Babs, you are so good at playing hard to get. But stop flirting with me, I need a favor.”

  She laughs. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear this one.”

  “I need on the field for sixty seconds.”

  “Why don’t you just tell your dad? You go on the field after a game all the time.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t w
ant my dad to know about this.”

  She looks at me suspiciously and I am annoyed with myself for letting that slip. “What are you up to?”

  “Well, it’s a surprise. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t ask if there was another way.”

  “I believe you, but you know I’m not supposed to let anyone in and doing so would get me in trouble. But then again, it’s you, not some random fan.”

  “That’s true. And my dad won’t be mad or anything, like I said it’s only going to be sixty seconds. No one will probably notice anyway.”

  “And when are you wanting to do this? Right now?”

  “I was thinking as soon as they start the seventh inning stretch.” It’s perfect, really. In the middle of every seventh inning, the announcers have a guest singer in the broadcasting box with them that sings “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” Everyone’s attention will be on the box, not on the field.

  “All right, fine.”

  “That’s it? Wow, that was easy.”

  “What did you expect me to say?”

  “Well…I thought that you would ask me…”

  “To what? Take out my daughter? Again?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean, you’ve asked me quite a few times before.”

  “Don’t worry, not interested.”

  And hell if I don’t feel offended. I can’t remember how many times she’s suggested it in the past. Or how many times I’ve gone out of my way to avoid her just in case it comes up and I had to turn her down again. “Seriously?”

  I’m pretty sure she’s trying to cover a grin. “Yep.”

  “Well, what the hell is wrong with me?” I find myself asking.

  “Oh, honey, I’m sure there’s plenty wrong with you, but Kate has a boyfriend. She wouldn’t go out with you now even if I tried, not that she would have necessarily before, but you know…sometimes moms meddle.”

  “Well, as long as he treats her well.”

  “He’s great. A nice young man.”

  “And everything going well with your job here?”

  “Oh, you know it. I love this place. And the energy since winning the championship has increased tenfold. It’s great.”

  “Well thanks again. I’m going to go grab my friend who is coming on the field with me really quick.”

  “Whatever. Just don’t do anything stupid that would get me in trouble, all right? I’m going to conveniently run to the restroom. I’ll see you later, okay?”

  “All right.”

  Running over quickly to Ruby, I’m relieved to find she’s where I left her. “Okay, I’ve got us in.” Just as I say that I hear everyone cheer after we’ve obtained the third out. “Okay, now is our chance! Hurry, give me your dad’s ashes.”

  She hands them to me and I unscrew the cap and shake them into my pocket, again trying not to think about it too much. “What are you doing?”

  “You’ll see. Come on!” I tell her as I finish pouring them inside. I hand her the jar and she shoves it in her pocket while I tug her down the tunnel. I can hear the crowd start singing and I’m so nervous that my stomach feels like it’s going to come out through my mouth. As we step onto the field, a few people look at us, but I just walk with determined steps onto the green grass. Before I can turn to her, we are surrounded by security.

  “Get off the field,” someone yells immediately. I turn toward them and hold up my hands. “I have permission to be here. I’m Jensen Watson, son of Jim Watson.”

  “That’s him, Gary, it’s okay.”

  Even more security appears, “Whatever you’re doing, make it quick.”

  With an audience, I can no longer go through the motions; I need to make this believable so that they don’t cart me straight up to my dad. Fuck. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I open them and get to one knee. Ruby looks at me in confusion.

  “Ruby, I know we only just met, but from the minute I laid eyes on you, I felt a connection. It’s like nothing I can describe. It seems fitting to ask you in the place we met, in an epic way, a very important question.”

  Her eyes are big and round in her face and I almost smile because I’m happy that I didn’t tell her this plan ahead of time. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the small World Championship replica ring I bought in the store in case I needed it. As I pull out the ring, I make sure to also grab a bit of ashes and drop them as my hand leaves the pocket. Holding out the ring to Ruby, I smile. “Ruby, here in front of God and the Cubs, I want to ask you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”

  She nods immediately, and she even sheds a tear for effect. She’s damn good. “Yes, Jensen, yes. I’ll marry you!”

  I slip the ring onto her finger and stand, as she hugs me and kisses me, I make sure to reach into my pocket and turn it over, dumping the rest of the ashes. I can hear some people in the stands cheer and clap too and the fact they saw this display makes me uncomfortable. I hope my dad, wherever he is, is too busy and didn’t see any of this. The good thing is that if anyone saw me dumping the ashes, nothing’s said or asked. My guess is they are too distracted by the sight of Ruby practically dry humping me on the field. Fuck, she’s into this. And super drunk.

  “All right, love birds, get off the field. The song is almost over and the game needs to resume.”

  “Yes, sir,” I say and grab Ruby to get us the hell out of there.

  As soon as we are back down the tunnel, I wave to Barbara quickly and take off. When I find us a private alcove, I turn to Ruby. “I want to leave. I know the game isn’t over, but I’d prefer to avoid any potential questions for now.”

  “I can’t believe that just happened,” Ruby says looking stunned.

  “I know, but we did it! I got all the ashes dumped.”

  “I saw. Thank you so much, Jensen. I want to celebrate. I agree, let’s get out of here and go to your place.”

  Now that is what I’m talking about.

  Inning Eight

  I take Ruby to the elevator that leads to the private parking area we have after I punch in the code to take us there. I’m happy to find that the car is already waiting like my dad said it would be. No doubt he had it there as soon as he made the decision to provide me an escort. He uses the same service and they’re happy to provide him whatever cars he needs and will do everything possible to exceed his expectations to maintain his business.

  When we walk up to the car the driver immediately exits and holds the door open for us. “Hello, I’m Jensen Watson.”

  “Hello, Mr. Watson. We were told you would need a ride from one of us after the game.”

  “Yes, I decided to leave a little early,” I tell him and give him the address to my apartment. Through an increasing fog, I thank my folks for providing me a sweet apartment to live in. I’m lucky, because I tried living in the frat house on campus and it was a nightmare. Not because of the constant parties and antics that go on twenty-four seven, but because I was badgered constantly for Cubs tickets. Not that the guys don’t still ask at times, but it isn’t as bad, nor is it as awkward when I tell them no.

  As soon as we’re in the car, Ruby wastes no time and immediately turns to me and puts her mouth on mine. Her tongue slides past my lips and explores my mouth. She groans quietly at the contact and it sets my blood on fire. This is what I’m talking about. This makes the whole chaotic day worth it. And almost makes my missing most of the game okay too.

  We pull up to my apartment building in no time. I thank the driver and he gives me a knowing smile as he holds the door open for us. I give him a thumb-sup because why the hell not? Ruby and I make our way upstairs and the first thing I do is grab a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses from the cupboard. “A celebration,” I tell her, proud of the fact we made this happen for her today.

  Ruby nods and I pour our shot glasses, promising that I’m cutting myself off after this because I’m going to be sick as hell tomorrow. Ruby’s head falls back on her shoulders and she closes her eyes, “You okay?” I ask her feeling the effects myself. It feels as if my
head isn’t attached to my body. I feel like I can float around the room.

  Ruby looks at me, and smiles, “Fly the W, Jensen, because I’m wasted.”

  I laugh and she laughs. “I am too.”

  “That may make this awkward,” Ruby says and I look at her questioningly. In response, she pulls her shirt over her head and slips out of her shorts. In nothing but a bright red lace bra and bottoms that match, she’s sexy as hell. “I always wear the red to the games. Red, for Cubs,” she says and laughs.

  “Red for Ruby,” I correct her and walk toward her. “Don’t worry. I may be drunk, but I still know my way around the bases.”

  “Thank god,” she says and we collide. My hands are…everywhere. She lifts my shirt over my head and I awkwardly pull my pants and briefs down, tripping over them a little as I do. Lifting her up, she wraps her legs around my waist and I move down the hall toward my bedroom kissing her along the way. We bump into the wall a few times and I come close to dropping her when we push into my door and it swings open faster than I anticipate. We laugh between kisses and for some reason, I think, she is shushing me, her finger over her lips.

  Practically throwing her on the bed, I dive on top of her and slide off her bra and undies and take in the sight of her naked body. “You are beautiful,” I tell her honestly as my hands start to make their way to second base.

  Her moans of pleasure encourage me, and my lips move where my hands had just been. When she takes her hands and pushes my shoulders so that my head moves down her body along her strike zone, I know what she’s requesting and I accommodate her, eager to get to third base. Each swipe of my tongue and suck of my mouth has her begging for more.

  When she sits up, reaching her hands down between us and grabs my cock, she smiles. “Time for a home run.”

  I admit, at those words, part of me really does think this girl was made for me. I mean, stating baseball analogies out loud in bed, god, I don’t know if it gets better than that.

  I grab a condom from the bedside drawer and get it on in record time before quickly sliding my bat right into her glove, both of us moaning simultaneously at the feeling. As I pump my hips, her nails scrape down my back. “More. Harder.”