Beer Goggles Anthology

by Anthology

  His focus falls to my cleavage, intentionally on display thanks to a half-cup bra and a too-tight tank top. BOOM! Another mark for the girl with pseudo-intentions.

  “Brennan.” His warm fingers wrap around mine and, internally, I weep: despite the nice physique, his handshake is like a limp noodle. Weak and completely bland. He probably kisses like a Saint Bernard and I refuse to let myself entertain anything beyond that.

  “Nice to meet you. Your name is familiar. I think Dylan’s talked about you before.”

  He nods. “Probably. We’re friends. Now that I think about it, he mentioned you were coming. I guess I forgot.” His eyes dip to my chest again and, unlike Jake, Brennan’s interest is obvious.

  For the sake of my study, I’ll humor that interest, but he’s not really my type. I like guys with a little more confidence. Guys who know how to use their hands too, and, whether he knows it or not, Brennan already gave himself away.

  We make small talk while I stuff the bedding into a dryer and he loads up the two washers opposite mine. Since I have nothing to do upstairs, I hop back onto the table and pick up the magazine.

  Brennan flashes a crooked grin. “Do girls really take advice from those things?”

  I flip to the cover, even though I know what it says. “Give Him a BJ He’ll Never Forget. Hmm, I guess some do. Personally, I don’t. I mean…” Now it’s my turn to smile. Flirt a little too, as I look at him from beneath my curled and mascaraed eyelashes. “I don’t really need it, you know?”

  He swallows so hard that I swear I can hear his throat work across the room. His face also flushes and I can see the wheels turning in his head. He’s weighing his loyalty to my brother against his natural male curiosity: do I really give good head or am I just blowing smoke?

  “You want to have a drink later?” he asks, finally growing a pair. Too bad for him the damage is already done. I’ll have a drink with him, but there’s no way I’m getting within a foot of his fly.

  “Sounds fun. I assume you know someplace good?” Ideally a bar with a lot of other guys, so I can continue my research.

  “Of course, I do. Nine o’clock sound okay? I can come up…”

  “Aw, that’s sweet of you, but I can just as easily meet you in the lobby. Probably best we don’t bother Jake.” I wink and Brennan’s eyes glaze over with more assumption than hope. Poor guy.

  Oh, the things I do for straight As. My brother’s going to hate me, but at least I’ll make Mama proud.

  Jake

  I’d just stepped out of the shower, when Kallie hollered down the hall that she was headed out for the night. I called back to her, asking where exactly she planned on going at nine o’clock in a city she knows next to nothing about, but she was already gone.

  Whatever. It’s not like she’s the type to get into any trouble. Hell, her version of a good time is probably holding herself up in the library all night.

  Just as well that she’s gone, I guess. I won’t have to explain that I’m headed out, as well, and maybe I can sneak someone in later without her knowing. A win-win for sure.

  A half hour later, I stroll into Verno’s Bar. V’s has been my go-to bar for finding chicks for years, but now that I’m living on this side of town, I might need to reevaluate. The last thing I need is to get messed up with a girl that one of my friends has already called dibs on. Or already had. Or is good friends with.

  Fuck, getting messed up with Vanessa did a number on me. I mean, I had no idea she was Tyler’s step-sister. In the year we’d roomed together, he never once mentioned her, so how the hell was I to know she was off-limits?

  For the record, I’m not a player. At least not if we’re using my buddies as measuring sticks. I don’t fuck around a lot, but when I do, I try my best to avoid the awkward altercations that might follow. With Vanessa, I never saw it coming.

  Freddie, one of the usual weekend bartenders, flashes a grin when I slide into the only empty seat at the bar. I’m sandwiched between a middle-aged woman who has a husky smokers’ laugh and a guy with a knock-off Rolex, trying to schmooze the panties off a redhead in a fancy-ass cocktail dress. My guess is that they’re on a first date, and he’s way the fuck out of his element. I mean, you don’t bring a classy girl like her to a rundown honkytonk bar like Verno’s. Then again, you don’t buy wristwatches out of friggin’ trunks either, but what the hell do I know? Obviously, my judgment has its own flaws.

  “Where’s your partner-in-crime?” Freddie sets a mug of the local brew in front of me and snatches up my twenty before I even set it down.

  “Dylan’s in Iowa,” I mutter while I scan the bar for familiar faces. Brennan didn’t answer when I called to invite him along and Duke whined about having to work early tomorrow. From the looks of things, I’m on my own tonight, which might not be a bad thing. Much easier to snag the attention of a prospect when my buddies aren’t acting like overgrown kids.

  “Oh, that’s right. Heard you’re stuck babysitting his sister,” the bartender laughs. “Think you’ll be able to keep it in your pants this time?”

  “Fuck off, dude.” I know damn well that I’m not the only one who’s screwed up with a girl, so why won’t anyone cut me a break?

  Freddie nods to two pretty brunettes chatting with a thirty-something guy at the other end of the bar. “From Texas. I guess they’re in town for work.”

  In other words, safe.

  And hopefully interested.

  Kallie

  True to my assumption, Brennan’s a nice guy, but he’s gotten by on his good looks for far too long. He’s not arrogant, per se, but he puts literally no effort into trying to win me over. I’m willing to bet that he stuffed a wad of condoms into his wallet as soon as he got back to his apartment earlier, erroneously believing that my agreeing to have a drink with him also meant I’d screw him.

  Sorry, Bren, if you can’t even open the bar door for me, I’m definitely not opening my legs.

  “Nice place,” I remark casually as I follow him to far end of the busy bar, past a couple of pool tables, a dartboard, and an old-fashioned jukebox. The slow bluesy melody of a classic Eric Clapton song hums through the speakers and the big crowd is surprisingly relaxed enough that I can make out the words. “I could definitely see myself chilling here from time-to-time.”

  Brennan tosses a chuckle over his shoulder before motioning for me to take the only available stool. Maybe he’s not entirely selfish, but he’s got some making up to do.

  “Yo, Bren,” a deep voice calls from somewhere behind us. Before I can turn to see whom the voice belongs to, a stocky, dark-haired man with a thick, trimmed beard, slides in beside me. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” he says, resting his elbow on the glossy wood bar. His arms are covered in colorful tattoos and his light blue bowling shirt pairs well with his slicked back hair style. A lumberjack hipster hybrid. I’m intrigued.

  “No, I don’t think we have.” I smile and allow him to take my hand. He kisses my knuckles, never taking his eyes off of mine. “I’m Kallie.”

  “Vaughn,” he offers with a wink. “What are the chances I can sweet talk you into ditching this guy for a while? Turns out I need a pool partner.”

  “Really, dude?” Brennan puts a hand on Vaughn’s chest and gives him a subtle and completely pointless push. “We haven’t even ordered drinks yet.”

  Vaughn grins, nice, white teeth shining through the dark stubble. “You like pool, Kallie?”

  I nod, feeling only vaguely guilty that I’d much rather chat with him than the guy I came with. I mean, Brennan is Dylan’s friend and the only reason I agreed to come out was so I could gather more info for my project.

  “I love pool. Maybe I can join you in a bit?”

  Brennan scowls, but Vaughn’s face lights up. “Sounds perfect.”

  “You know she’s Dylan’s sister, right?”

  Damn, Brennan. Such a wet dishrag.

  “No shit?” Vaughn’s eyebrows lift as he studies my face for a moment. “I would have
never guessed. You’re a million times better looking than he is.”

  I laugh. “Yeah?”

  “No lie.” He makes an X over his heart, then nods to the pool tables. “You know where to find me.”

  Brennan scoffs again as Vaughn slips back into the crowd and out of sight. “He’s trouble,” he mumbles. “Dylan would be pissed if he knew he was hitting on you.”

  “But he wouldn’t be pissed at you for taking me out tonight?”

  My sort of date’s face turns as red as my blouse as he orders our drinks. The next half hour is filled with awkward small talk, proving that Brennan obviously hadn’t thought about what my brother would think.

  Vaughn, however, continues to smile and crook his finger at me, so I do Brennan and me a favor and end our date early, promising to catch an Uber home.

  “Be careful with him,” Bren warns as I gather my purse. “He’s really not the kind of guy you want to get messed up with.”

  “Why not?” I ask, though I honestly don’t have any intentions of letting this get out of hand. Hooking up isn’t what my project is about. I just need to run a little analysis. How many guys want Kallie, the sexy, made-up vamp, compared to how many want Kallie, the smarty pants book nerd? To what degree will their initial interest change when they see the other version of me, and does it matter which version of me they meet first?

  In essence, exactly how shallow are men when it comes to pretty women?

  “Vaughn and Dylan used to live together.”

  Ah, so roommates—even former ones—are especially off-limits. Good to know, not that I plan on including Jake in my study. There’s no way I can get objective data from him, seeing him day in and day out.

  “Thanks,” I tell Brennan. “For the drink and the advice. I think I’ll be okay, though.”

  He nods reluctantly, and I walk away.

  Chapter Three

  Jake

  “You know what? I’m going home.” The curvy brunette—Shaina? Shannon?—hops up from the couch and snatches her purse off the coffee table. For Christ’s sake, she didn’t even touch the beer I opened for her.

  Wait…that’s my beer.

  Shit, I never even grabbed one for her, did I?

  “I’m sorry, babe.” I stand, pretending the room doesn’t spin with the motion. I’m not that drunk. I mean, I’m half-hard for her, so that’s a good sign. “We can skip the small talk and just hit the sheets if you’d rather.”

  She makes a funny face. Sure, it’s a little fuzzy, but I know annoyance when I see it. “No thanks, Jake. Maybe another time.”

  Yeah, like never. Fuck. I knew I should’ve settled for a bathroom blow job at the bar.

  “Can I at least have your number? Maybe we can connect next time you’re in town,” I call after her, but she’s already to the door and gone. Losing your touch, man. Losing your friggin’ touch.

  With a huff, I drop back to the couch and down the beer in front of me. Over the course of the next half hour, I drain the last two bottles in the fridge and mindlessly watch a baseball recap on ESPN. At some point, I must drift off, because the next thing I know, Shaina’s back.

  And her hands are all over me.

  Kallie

  “Jake, wake up. If you sleep like this, you’ll get a kink in your neck.” I shove at his shoulder a half dozen times, but all he does is groan and loll his head back and forth.

  He reeks of alcohol and, from the empty bottles on the table, I have a guess why. He’s also dressed in a dark-washed jeans and a snug black T-shirt—typical Midwestern guy bar attire—so I suspect he started his night out on the town sometime after I left.

  “Come on, big guy. I’m not going to lie—I’m more concerned about you puking on the furniture than I am your neck, so please get up.” Using both hands, I prod at his chest. His very hard, very toned chest. Damn, that cross-fit does a body good.

  Again, he lets out a low sound, but this one is more of moan. An aroused moan that sends goose bumps rushing down my bare arms.

  “Jake…” My voice is softer this time and I refuse to think about why. Yes, he’s one of the sexiest guys I’ve ever laid eyes on, but he’s also completely sloshed. I most definitely should not be turned on by a drunk, passed out man.

  Suddenly, his eyes open. Just little, hazy slits, but I see enough of their intoxicating amber color that I forget how to breathe.

  It’s the proximity, it has to be. I mean, I was fine earlier. I almost didn’t even notice how good-looking he was dressed in his workout clothes.

  “Heyyy,” he drawls out, his voice rough with sleep and something…hungry. “Changed your mind?”

  “Huh?”

  “Doesn’t matter. Come here.” His big hands fist the fabric of my blouse, pulling me toward him with a desperate jerk. I lose my balance and fall, my chest crashing down onto his. Before I can regain my bearings or apologize, those long fingers and calloused palms slide into my hair, dragging my face up to his. “I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I saw you.” His exhales feathers against my lips before it turns into a slow, toe-curling kiss.

  Good Lord. I sure as hell didn’t see that coming. Neither the kiss itself nor the skill behind it.

  “You have?” Why is my voice so breathy, and why am I kissing him back?

  “You’re so beautiful.” His fingers brush down the side of my face, as he pulls back just enough for our eyes to meet again. His are still half-lidded, like he’s not entirely awake, which would sure the heck explains things.

  “Jake, you’re drunk.” And probably dreaming, so it’s most likely not even me he wants right now.

  “So? You’ve had a few too,” he slurs. “I taste it on your tongue.” One of his hands curls around my hips and slides straight to my butt. I bite my lip as he squeezes greedily, a low growl sounding in his throat. “I love your ass.”

  Jesus. “Thanks, I guess, but, Jake, you do know that Dylan—”

  “Isn’t here right now.” A wicked grin slashes across his face. “We have the whole place to ourselves.”

  All the more reason we shouldn’t be crotch-to-crotch on the couch right now, but, man, is he cute. With those eyes I like so much and that unruly blond hair I want to run my hands through.

  “If you weren’t so drunk, I might actually consider what you’re suggesting.” Yep, I said it out loud, because he’s not going to remember this in the morning, anyway.

  His eyes flutter shut as he smiles and raises his hips, grinding his erection against my heated sex. “Shit, that feels good.”

  Mmmhmm. Too good. I don’t want it to end, but there are at least a thousand reasons why I can’t let it go on.

  “Come on, handsome, you’re not thinking straight.” I try to loosen his hands on my hips, but he’s in a groove, his pelvis slowly working against mine.

  A wave of pleasure rushes to my core and my nipples pebble tight against the lace of my bra. For God’s sake, he could make me come from dry humping alone.

  “Fuck, I need this,” he grunts, as his thrusts quicken and his fingers dig deep. Eyes still closed, his lips part and a crease wrinkles his brow.

  If I didn’t know better, I’d think—

  “Ah, shit…” He slams his hips against me and I can feel his cock pulsing in a way that could only mean one thing.

  Oh, my God, he just came.

  His pinched expression goes soft and a crooked grin curls at the corner of his mouth.

  But his eyes never open.

  Holy crap, I’m going to hell. I’m going to hell for taking advantage of a drunk man.

  This time when I try to climb off of him, he lets me. In fact, he doesn’t even move. Just sits there with that sated grin on his face, as his head slowly drifts to the side and…

  He freaking snores.

  Jake

  I wake up to the aroma of fresh coffee and something sweet. Something that immediately reminds me that Dylan is gone, replaced temporarily by the intriguingly gorgeous Kallie.

  Kallie, who’s
probably wondering why the hell I’m crashed on the couch, still dressed from the night before.

  “Morning,” I mutter when I hear her moving around in the kitchen. “You’re an early riser, I see.”

  All movement stops and for several long beats, she says nothing. Finally, she clears her throat. “Um, yeah, but it’s not so early anymore.”

  “No?” Sitting upright, I rub at my achy neck, carefully stretching it from side-to-side. The beer bottles I remember leaving on the coffee table are gone. In their place sits a bottle of Gatorade and three ibuprofen.

  How thoughtful.

  “It’s after ten o’clock,” she says. “You might want to check your phone. It’s been going off for hours.”

  Probably Shaina, I think, grinning to myself. She was a hot one, for sure, and I feel like an ass for passing out on her after she came back. We had fun, though, and I’d definitely be interested in seeing her if and when she comes back to Port Washington.

  “Thanks for the pick-me-up,” I tell Kallie, tossing back the pain reliever with a gulp of the cool drink.

  “Hmmhmm,” she murmurs, as she walks by with a cup of coffee in one hand and a plate of jelly laden toast in the other. She doesn’t look at me, just heads to Dylan’s room and kicks the door shut behind her.

  Damn, she heard me with Shaina, didn’t she?

  Ugh. I push a hand back through my hair and grab my phone from the table on my way to my room. I’ll apologize after I shower and after I reconnect with the sexy brunette who rode me into oblivion.

  Shutting the bedroom door behind me, I swipe my phone awake and see a list of texts and missed calls from Shaina.

  11:42 pm: Open the door. I lost my ID on your couch.

  11:46 pm: Come on, Jake. This is awkward enough. Let me in already.

  11:53 pm: Damn it, you passed out, didn’t you? Ugh!