Return to Stringybark Creek

by Karly Lane

  People began to move into the church, so Hadley and Ollie followed them. They found a row of seats and before long the rest of the Dawsons and Callahans were sitting down beside them.

  The minister’s words were heartfelt and kind. The eulogy was read by Luke’s cousin and his sister, and although they did their best to colour it with humorous anecdotes, the laughter from the gathered mourners was somewhat forced and bittersweet. It felt good to remember him in funnier times, until the brutal reality of his final moments robbed any joy from the memories.

  When the service was finally over, Hadley gave Ollie’s hand a final reassuring squeeze as he stood and made his way to the front of the church along with the other pallbearers. She heard the gentle sobs from Luke’s mother and sister in the front row. Terry Patterson stood by the casket that held his only son, ready to carry him out of the church. The heartbreak on his weathered face spoke volumes. A father should not be carrying his son’s coffin. It just wasn’t the natural order of things.

  Hadley had been to her fair share of funerals over the years—none of them were nice. It didn’t matter if it was someone who had lived a long and full life, they were all a goodbye. But this one was even harder to process because it felt so wrong. Luke shouldn’t be in a casket. He shouldn’t be having a funeral at all. He had the rest of his life ahead of him. He hadn’t had some horrific terminal disease that had unfairly robbed him of his life. He hadn’t been in some terrible accident … he’d planned his death. Waited till his parents weren’t home, took a gun from the house, walked down to a back shed and pulled the trigger. At any point he could have changed his mind, but he hadn’t. That was the part Hadley knew haunted everyone the most. If things were that bad, why hadn’t he tried to get help? Why hadn’t any of the people closest to him suspected he could do such a thing?

  Logically, she knew that depression was like a disease in its own way, but it didn’t have to be terminal. It didn’t have to reach this point. There was help available … if he’d only asked.

  Why hadn’t he asked?

  Ollie had never been so glad to see the back end of a day. He’d been dreading the funeral, and thank Christ now it was over.

  He’d thought that maybe once it was done, he’d feel different—relieved, maybe—but he didn’t. He just felt gutted. He couldn’t look at Luke’s parents. He couldn’t talk to either of them. The anguish he’d seen on their faces when they’d walked into the church had been enough to shake any resolve he’d built up. His eyes felt gritty and sore. His throat ached from holding back his grief. He couldn’t lose it in front of everyone. There were people who were depending on him to be strong. He was no use to anyone if he gave into the urge to pour out his grief and frustration like he wanted to do. What would that achieve? It wouldn’t bring Luke back. It wouldn’t give him the answers he needed. And it sure as hell wouldn’t wash away the guilt that continued to hang over him like a big black rain cloud. He should have done something.

  Ollie looked up as Hadley sat down beside him on the tailgate of his ute. He didn’t know how she’d found him out here in the dark.

  ‘You okay?’ she asked gently.

  ‘Not really.’

  He heard her sad sigh next to him and closed his eyes. He felt so damn tired and old.

  ‘I needed to get out of there for a bit,’ she admitted, and he knew exactly how she felt. The wake was being held at the pub and was still in full swing, but after a while everything had started to get on his nerves and he’d needed to find some quiet.

  ‘I can’t handle listening to the endless cycle of “I can’t believe it” or “I had no idea” anymore today,’ Hadley said.

  ‘Me neither.’ It was bad enough that those same things were swirling around in his own head constantly.

  He could feel the warmth where her arm brushed against his, and her touch felt as though it were slowly melting the cold, empty sadness that had wrapped around him ever since hearing about Luke’s death.

  Where the evening night air had filled his senses before, now suddenly it was all Hadley. Her scent, a delicate floral smell, and the warmth of her nearness shut out everything else. He looked down when her hand covered his, braced beside his thigh on the tray back. When he looked at her the gentle expression on her face soothed his saddened heart.

  Right now he couldn’t think of anyone else in the entire world he’d rather be with. All around them were the sounds of early evening—birds settling in the trees for the night, crickets chirping—he was aware of all of it and yet somehow he felt as though he and Hadley were in a vacuum. There was nothing between them; she was so close he could see the movement of her chest as her breathing quickened. Surely he was hallucinating. This couldn’t be happening, and yet her eyes seemed to soften, and her lips parted slightly, beckoning him closer.

  At the first touch his head began to spin. Her lips moved beneath his, gently at first and then with more insistence. He was certain she’d pull away and shriek in horror, but to his surprise the kiss continued. He felt her move closer, and adjusted his position so she could slip between his thighs. His hands moved to cup her head, his fingers sliding into her thick hair as they deepened the kiss. He was lost in her. He would have scoffed if he’d ever spoken the words aloud, but right here, right now, that’s exactly how it felt.

  This was crazy. She’d only meant to comfort Ollie. He’d seemed so alone and she couldn’t turn her back on an old friend who was hurting. Only, somehow, comfort had turned into … this.

  Hadley eased back. Her hands trembled slightly against his chest and she struggled to regain her composure. ‘I, ah, don’t really know where that came from,’ she said with a wince at how unsteady her voice sounded. When Ollie didn’t reply she risked a glance up at his face and saw him watching her intently. A flutter began in the pit of her stomach. He’s not sorry. The thought made her reel. Why wasn’t he as surprised by this as she was?

  ‘It’s all right,’ he said in the gentle voice someone might use on a startled animal. Which was probably what she looked like right at this moment—a kangaroo caught in headlights.

  ‘This is not all right,’ she said when she found her voice again. ‘You’re my friend and you’re grieving and I shouldn’t have … done that.’

  ‘It’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time, if you wanna know the truth,’ he said, his gaze still locked on hers.

  Hadley shook her head sadly. ‘My life is a mess right now and the last thing I want to do is drag you into it.’

  ‘Nobody’s dragging me.’

  Why wasn’t he more freaked out about this? They’d been friends since childhood and now suddenly here they were, making out … and he was sitting there all calm and rational? What the hell?

  ‘I’d better get back inside,’ she said, her words trailing off feebly as he lifted an eyebrow slightly but made no move to stop her. Hadley swallowed hard. When had he gotten so … good-looking … so mature? She would have thought she was the one who had it together, but right now she felt like a blubbering idiot while he was being this stoic tower of strength. ‘See you,’ she said, backing away quickly before she said or did anything else she might regret.

  Her lips still felt warm from his and she pressed them together firmly to stop the annoying sensation the memory of it caused. Like she didn’t have enough to deal with. She did not need to add a complication like falling for her best friend’s brother on top of everything else.

  ‘Pull yourself together, Callahan,’ she muttered, heading inside and resisting the urge to look back at Ollie.

  ‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?’

  Hadley looked up at Olivia and frowned. ‘What?’

  ‘You’ve been sitting there staring into your coffee for the last ten minutes. You haven’t heard a word I’ve said. What’s wrong?’

  Hadley picked up the mug and took a sip of the lukewarm coffee and sighed. ‘Something happened yesterday.’

  ‘What happened?’ />
  ‘I don’t want you to freak out, and you have to swear to me that this stays between the two of us. You can’t tell Griff … or anyone,’ she said, holding her friend’s eyes sternly.

  ‘Okay,’ Olivia said, folding her arms and leaning on the table.

  ‘Yesterday, after the funeral, I wanted to make sure Ollie was doing okay so I went out to sit with him for a bit,’ she said, biting the inside of her lip as she stared down into the caramel-coloured coffee. ‘I don’t know how it happened, but …’—she closed her eyes tightly—‘we kissed.’

  When Olivia didn’t immediate gasp or laugh out aloud, Hadley opened her eyes and looked at her friend, to see a slow smile spreading across her face. ‘Well, it’s about time.’

  ‘Excuse me?’ Of all the things she’d anticipated Olivia saying, this had not been on the list.

  Olivia rolled her eyes and shook her head mournfully. ‘Hadley, I love you, but for a savvy woman of the world, you are so dumb sometimes.’

  The shock must have shown on her face, because Olivia gave a small chuckle. ‘How can someone who makes a living investigating stories not see what’s been staring her in the face for most of her life?’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘Ollie, you twit. He’s been in love with you for as long as I can remember.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

  ‘Maybe if you actually looked around you instead of only ever thinking about where your next story’s coming from, you’d have noticed.’

  The barb stung, but it was dulled slightly by the shock of the revelation that apparently other people knew Ollie had feelings for her. How had she missed it? ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

  ‘Because Ollie asked me not to.’ She shrugged.

  ‘You’re my best friend,’ Hadley said, feeling a little betrayed that Liv had kept such a huge secret from her for all these years.

  ‘Yes,’ she agreed simply, ‘but he’s my twin, and we both knew there was no point saying anything.’

  ‘Why not?’

  Olivia sent her a look that made Hadley feel as though she was a child and Liv the adult was considering how much information she could deal with. ‘You were on your way to start a career. You never held back telling anyone who’d listen how you were going to travel the world and have these amazing adventures.’ She smiled sadly. ‘Ollie knew he couldn’t compete with that, and he didn’t want to. He wanted you to go out and live your dream.’

  It was as though she was hearing a completely different version of her life. The Ollie she remembered had been the strong, silent type. Dependable, brotherly. Now she was being told that he hadn’t felt that way about her at all and somehow she’d missed all the signs. Or had he just been really good at hiding them? An empty kind of regret filled her chest at the thought. He hadn’t needed to hide it too deep; she’d been oblivious to everyone else back then, especially through her high school days. She’d known exactly where she was going—as far from Stringybark as she could get.

  She blinked away a sting in her eye. For so long she hadn’t really considered anyone else’s feelings, she’d been so obsessed with her career, so busy immersing herself in the world’s problems that she hadn’t spared a thought for friends and family back here. She tried to get home for special occasions, but work always seemed to take over. Mother Nature often didn’t consult Hadley’s schedule before unleashing a natural disaster. She was inconsiderate like that.

  It hadn’t been until after all this mess with Mitch and Harmony unfolded that she’d realised she’d been burying her head in her work to escape some pretty uncomfortable and painful truths. Now to find out this … How self-absorbed did a person have to be not to pick up on something this big?

  She didn’t want to be that person anymore. She wanted to be involved with her family and friends. She wanted family dinners and morning cups of tea with her mum and her gran.

  ‘I feel really stupid,’ she admitted quietly as Olivia watched her silently from across the table.

  ‘You shouldn’t. We all had to grow up and move away to find out what it was we wanted to do with our lives,’ she shrugged.

  ‘It’s like I’ve been living with blinkers on.’

  ‘That’s sometimes how it has to be. You have to focus on things, but eventually there comes a time when you take them off and you realise there’s a whole lot of other stuff to look at.’

  ‘I don’t know how I’m going to face him after yesterday.’

  ‘The same way you have every other day. He’s still Ollie.’ She paused before asking, almost hesitantly, ‘Did you like it?’

  ‘The kiss?’ she asked, and felt her heart flutter briefly as she remembered it. ‘I guess. It’s just … weird.’

  ‘No kidding,’ Olivia said drolly. ‘You’re my best friend and he’s my brother … I’m torn between wanting to know every last detail and being completely grossed out.’

  ‘It just happened.’

  ‘And yet I’m assuming you didn’t run away screaming. So does that mean you’ve discovered some feelings for him?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Hadley shook her head helplessly. ‘I was too surprised to say much … Nothing can come of it,’ she finished decisively.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Well, I’ve still got my career … and Ollie belongs here. It’s just not workable.’

  ‘Trust me, from one career-obsessed city dweller to another, anything’s possible if you want it bad enough.’

  But did she want it? That was the big question. Did she even want to figure out what this thing was in the first place? At the moment she could just put it down as an accident … a mistake, a grief-induced moment of madness. It didn’t have to go any further. It didn’t have to get messy. And yet … Last night she’d replayed that kiss over and over in her mind and couldn’t shake the fact that there’d definitely been something there. A spark. Chemistry. Whatever they called it, it was not brotherly in any way, shape or form, that much she knew for certain.

  Eight

  Hadley’s phone rang on her bedside table and she groaned when she saw Mitch’s name on the screen. It was far too early in the morning to be dealing with him. She hadn’t even had coffee, for goodness sake. However, when he tried calling for a third time, Hadley finally answered, not bothering to hide her annoyance in her clipped greeting.

  ‘I wanted you to know they’re running a story in the papers about the split,’ Mitch said without a greeting.

  ‘I’m surprised it took them this long,’ she commented after the initial surprise wore off.

  ‘I’ve managed to hold them off as long as possible, but my agent and the network seem to think it’s best that we come out with a statement and head off any tabloid sensationalism.’

  ‘We, as in they want us to give a statement?’

  ‘Well, no. We as in the network and I. It’s important to protect the image of the show as much as possible.’

  Of course, he was only really concerned about his image and TV ratings.

  ‘I just wanted to prepare you. It’ll be in the papers tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Thank you for the opportunity to contribute to the decision,’ she said archly.

  ‘There was really no need for you to get involved. In fact, after our last conversation you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with it.’

  ‘Considering you really didn’t give me any say in anything before having an affair with my sister,’ she added. ‘So how are you spinning that one?’ That should be great for his ratings.

  ‘We’re just focusing on the separation and pending divorce at this stage. It’s been an amicable decision and hopefully it’ll all blow over and there’ll be no need to involve anyone else in all this. I’m sure you wouldn’t want your sister and family dragged through the media,’ he added pointedly.

  ‘So basically, if I get asked, we’re not mentioning the fact that we’re getting a divorce because you were cheating on me,’ she said dryly.

&nbs
p; ‘Hadley, we’ve been through this. I’m sorry Harmony and I have hurt you, but I think we both know that you and I weren’t working out. Can you really hold a grudge against us for finding love? Surely you want your sister to be happy?’

  Hadley gave a disbelieving snort. These last few weeks had been a real eye-opener for her. She knew where his career was concerned, Mitch had always been ambitious, but she hadn’t realised just how self-centred he’d become and how single-minded he was about keeping his job. He knew any scandal connected to him would not put him in good stead with his employers, especially when he made his living as the face of a program that prided itself on family values and speaking up for the underdog. Having their wholesome poster boy linked to a marriage break-up, one in which he cheated on his wife with her sister, would not be a good look for the network.

  She couldn’t think of anything worse than having everyone know the truth behind the story either—it made her look like an idiot. Of course she didn’t want the story plastered all over the newspapers and gossip magazines any more than he did, but it rubbed her the wrong way when he felt it necessary to add the threat about her family getting caught up in it all. That bit really annoyed her.

  ‘Yes, my sister’s happiness is the most important issue in this whole fiasco,’ she said sarcastically. ‘Don’t think for a moment that I believe this call has anything to do with Harmony. Or my family,’ she added bitterly. ‘This is about you, Mitch, and your precious image. I just hope the job you seem to have sold your soul for is worth it, because you’re not the man you used to be.’

  He hadn’t been like this when they’d first met. Yes, he’d always had his dream job firmly in mind even back then, but he’d been decent and kind, and despite the vanity and the overconfidence she knew drove other people insane, he had been a good man. She just hadn’t been around him often enough after his promotion to really understand the changes he’d undergone. Not until it was too late.

  ‘Goodbye, Hadley,’ he said briskly and the phone call disconnected in her ear.