“Umm… hmm.” I tapped my chin and smiled.
“She asked when I was getting married. Can you believe that?”
“What? You’re engaged? No one tells me anything! I didn’t even know you were dating anyone!”
He looked at me blankly and then laughed, “I’m not. She’s just in a really big hurry to marry one of us off. I guess she thinks she has a better chance with me. Her lady friends are talking I think.”
“Of course they are. That’s what they do. Oh, I bet this probably has something to with, oh Christ… what’s his name? That old buddy of yours. His wife just had another kid… saw it on Facebook,” I said biting my finger as I tried to think of Jake’s friend’s name. Our mother had been friends with his mom forever.
“Lawrence?”
“Yes! Lawrence and Vikki Taylor had a baby! What did they name him? I can’t remember it doesn’t matter. But they had a baby!” I said waving my hands in mock excitement.
“Well why the fuck isn’t she on your case to get hitched? Why do I have to get harassed about it?”
“Oh Jacob, my dear brother,” I said clicking my tongue, “she gave up on me a long time ago.”
He laughed, “That’s right… the biker. Piker. Piker the biker. Wonder what ever happened to that guy.”
I swallowed hard, “He’s still around here.”
“Oh yeah? Is that right? I wonder how you know that,” he said with a teasing smile.
“Grow up, Jake,” I said but I could feel my cheeks warming. I only hope it didn’t show. Thankfully I didn’t have to worry about it because our mother slowly entered the room and the warm dissipated.
She looked at me over the tops of the sunglasses she was already wearing. “Is that what you’re wearing?” she said speaking so slowly it was almost painful to wait for the whole sentence.
“Yes, this is what I’m wearing. It’s all I brought with. Are we ready to go or what? We driving separately?” I asked, but my mom just shook her head and frowned.
“Well I assumed we’d all go as a family,” she said twisting at her wedding ring.
Jake coughed and stood next to her. He shook his head at me as if he was disappointed in me. Jake then slid his arm around her shoulders in an annoying show of support, “Yeah mom, that’s what I thought we’d do too. Will that be all right with you James?”
I rolled my eyes at him and walked away from both of them. As if this day couldn’t get any worse, my brother was going to do his best to make sure I was miserable. That’s what brothers were for wasn’t it?
The second I sat down in the backseat of my parents’ car, I could hear a motorcycle rev in the distance. It could have been anyone, but of course my thoughts went to Pike. If there was one thing that could distract me from everything, it would be him.
Chapter 5
We stood at the front of the church like we were on display. I hated how awkward it made me feel. I just wanted to walk to the back of the church and sit alone until it was over.
Friends and family who came to offer their condolences would walk down the aisle, stand in front of the casket while bowing their heads before they’d walk over to my family. They’d shake our hands or give us gentle hugs as if we’d become too fragile to touch.
They’d all look at me with their sad eyes. Then the women would hug me and the men would either shake my hand or pat me on the shoulder.
I didn’t even know seventy-five percent of the people who offered me their sympathies. Of course, my mom probably knew every single one of them.
They’d blot the corners of their eyes and move on to my mother who was standing to my right. None of them said much, just nods or soft mumbles of how sorry they were for our loss.
“Doesn’t even look like her,” Jake whispered into my ear.
“What?” I said turning towards him and narrowing my eyes.
“Grandma… doesn’t look like her. Do you think it does?” he said raising an eyebrow. Neither of us had probably seen her in a year, or maybe even longer for Jake.
“I don’t know… a little. I mean, I can tell it’s her.”
He was right though, there was something that was off about her appearance. I turned my head not wanting to gawk at her any more.
I didn’t like funerals. Then again, who did? If it wouldn’t have been important to my family, I wouldn’t have come. I preferred to remember grandma in her happier times, not laying there in a casket with everyone in tears around her. She probably wouldn’t have wanted that either.
Jake shrugged, “Whatever. I just don’t think it looks like her.”
“I’m sure they did their best.”
He sat down but my mom quickly shot him a look and he popped back up onto his feet. I put my hand on her shoulder. It was my turn to win some points with her, but I don’t think it worked.
After the service, the burial, and the lunch we all stood outside of the church saying our goodbyes. I heard my mom mention to several people that they should stop by the house. That was how she was going to get people to come over afterward, by simply inviting them over.
It seemed as though she was only inviting other family members or close family friends. At least it wouldn’t be a house full of complete strangers… just people I hadn’t seen or talked to in years. Fun.
I leaned up against the side of the red brick church wall and crossed my arms. Jake made his way over to me and stood on my other side. It seemed as though he was hiding behind me.
He lit up a cigarette and dropped his hand down by his thigh. I clicked my tongue at him.
“Oh Jake, Jake, Jake. What would mom say if she saw that?” I said with a smirk.
“She’d probably rip it out of my mouth and stomp on it in front of everyone… but thankfully she seems pretty busy.”
“You should quit,” I said slowly reaching out to take it away from him. I’d stomp it out for him. He lightly swatted at my hand.
Jake reached into his suit coat and pulled out a flask. He took a long swig and hastily popped the cigarette between his lips for a quick puff.
“What’s in there?” I said holding out my hand.
“Too strong for you kid.”
“Let’s see,” I said and took it from him. I winced as I took a big gulp of the strong liquid. “Vodka?”
He nodded and snatched it back so he could take another drink. “I’m not driving so might as well do what I can to make it through these difficult times.”
We passed the flask back and forth while we waited for everyone to clear out. I was pretty sure my mom would want to be the last to leave.
It seemed as though she wanted to make sure she talked to everyone. My dad just stood there at her side either rubbing her shoulder, or holding her hand. It was almost sweet.
Two older ladies made their way slowly past Jake and I on their way to the parking lot. They stopped their gossiping and wiggled their fingers in a sad, little wave towards me and Jake. I smiled, and they started talking again in their hushed voices.
“You hear about what that horrid gang did this time? They’re causing all those problems for Darla’s business you know,” the one lady said to the other.
“Tell me about it, those hairy jerks with their patched up leather thinking they run this town. Shooting their guns. You know what Helen? I’m sick of it. It needs to stop,” the tall, thicker lady with long gray hair said as she clutched her purse to her stomach. She acted as though she was afraid one of those evil bikers might just jump out at her at any given moment.
“Mmm hmm, troublemakers. The whole town is in danger while they’re round here,” said the one I presumed to be Helen.
“Saw one of them hooligans drive by after the service. It’s like, just give us some space. They don’t need to be coming around the church when this family is trying to mourn.” The taller one quickly looked over her shoulder and I thought she was looking to see where I was. Maybe she had known I’d dated one of the bikers once upon a time. Or maybe she was just looking back at
the church.
Helen nodded at her, “And that other one coming into town all the time now too. Makes it all the worse with both of them.”
“Heard it’s a war, Helen. A war! Can you believe that? They need to take it out of our town that much I know.”
Then they were too far, their voices drifted away into the breeze and I couldn’t make out what either of them were saying. It was probably more gossip about the Brother’s, but I wondered how much of it could be true.
“Think they was talkin’ bout your man,” Jake said wagging his finger at me. I could tell the liquor was starting to kick in by the way he moved his body.
“He’s not my man,” I said pushing myself away from the wall. I took another quick drink before I walked over to my parents.
Almost everyone was gone, hopefully we’d be able to go back to the house so I could change my shoes. My feet were killing me.
* * *
After an hour or so, the house was filled with random people. Most of them I knew… aunts, uncles and cousins, but I hadn’t talked to them in years. And I had no desire to talk to them now either. Thankfully, my mom did.
There were dramatic bursts of crying mixed in with boisterous bouts of laughing as they talked about their memories. I couldn’t concentrate on any of it. I had gotten to the point where I was sick of crying. There was nothing left.
For my mental health I needed to think of something else for a while… like meeting up with Pike later. Although truthfully, I probably shouldn’t have been thinking about that either. I shouldn’t have even agreed to it.
Were the gossiping women right about the degree of severity of the rivalry between the Brother’s and the other club? Could things really be that bad? Would I be in danger? Was Pike in danger?
Of course I’d never heard a single thing about what things were like between the clubs. Even if my mom had heard something about it, she’d never tell me.
When I walked out of the house, my brother was sitting on the porch sipping from his apparently refilled flask. He passed it to me when he realized I was standing over him.
“You’re going to puke,” I said taking a tiny drink. My last drink. I was cutting myself off.
“Bah, I filled up on mom’s hors d’oeuvres. I’m good to go on to round number two,” he said stretching out his legs.
“When are you going back home?”
“Whenever I want to, although it won’t be tonight,” he said lifting the flask up as if I couldn’t figure out why tonight wasn’t an option. “Mom likes having me around. She’ll probably beg me to stay longer.”
“Oh please,” I said crossing my arms, but it was probably true. He was her little baby boy.
Jake pulled out his pack of cigarettes. I tilted my head and widened my eyes at him as though he had lost his mind. He practically sneered at me, “What?”
“Umm… forget where you are? She’ll see you, dumbass.”
“Fuck off,” he said but tucked the pack back into his jacket. He shook his head, “Shit. You’re right. Send me drunk, I’m home.”
I took another drink from his flask. A long one. He watched me and nodded with approval. I swallowed hard and flashed him a weak smile. My body felt warm again.
That would be my real last drink. It was as though I needed a touch more… maybe for a burst of courage so I didn’t back out of my plans last minute.
I drew in a deep breath filling my lungs with the cool night air and let the breath out slowly between my lips. It felt invigorating.
“This has been the longest day in my entire life,” I said combing my hair with my fingers.
“Tell me about it,” my brother said taking another drink and offering the flask to me again. I waved my hand at him and declined. If I had any more, I might get too tipsy to leave, and I had to keep my promise.
“What time is it?”
“Why you got somewhere you need to be?” my brother looked almost angry. And if he knew he would be mad that I was leaving him to be with our parents on his own. I laughed at him.
“None of your beeswax!” I said and took a wobbly step towards the house. “Oh shit,” I said and he laughed at me. “Shut up.”
I swallowed hard and straightened my spine. I took another breath and opened the door. People were sprinkled about the first floor and I did my best to concentrate on walking straight. It wasn’t like I was drunk by any stretch, but I was feeling good. I didn’t want to draw any unwanted attention to my pleasant buzz.
When I got to the stairs, I practically ran up them feeling as though I was home free. I’d made it through the day and even though I had mixed feelings about it, I could finally get out of here and see Pike.
Chapter 6
I looked at the clock and somehow it was already seven. The whole day had gone by so slowly. But now the part of the day that I was excited for was finally here, it seemed as though time was suddenly on fast forward.
There were still people downstairs, but they’d probably be leaving soon. They’d spent the whole day here and my mom’s hors d’oeuvres were almost gone. I just wanted to get out of here before they left, so it would be easier to sneak away unnoticed.
I locked the door behind me and took several deep breaths. It was like I was trying to find myself again after the draining, hectic day. I’d spent most of the day in a sad, strange mood where I was reminded over and over again how short life really was.
It had been a depressing day of death and small talk with random people. I was surprised at how tired I felt even though I hadn’t really done much of anything, but I hoped once I was out of the house, my mood would change.
If I hadn’t made the promise to see him, I’d be tempted to cancel so I could lie down and sleep until morning came. I let my hands drop down and I shook them vigorously. It was like I was trying to shake everything away. I wanted to start this part of the day with a clean, fresh mind.
I was nervous about meeting up with Pike, but I was more than ready to get out of the house. The fresh air would be good for me. It was as though I had breathed in far too much stale air and my lungs felt tight.
I hadn’t brought much with me to change into because I hadn’t planned on staying in Greenwood Pass for very long. And I surely hadn’t planned on going out with Pike. I never even imagined I’d have to worry about dressing for a date.
It wasn’t like Pike would care what I was wearing. I could show up in my yoga pants and he would still tell me how nice I looked.
I put on a pair of jeans and plain button-down shirt. My outfit was OK, even if it was rather plain for a date. We were just getting together to catch up on old times… it wasn’t like I needed to dress up in anything special for that. What I was wearing would be just fine for talking.
Instead of going through the house and risk being stopped by someone, I climbed out of my window. I swung my way over to the tree and maneuvered my way down. I almost laughed at myself.
It was funny that I was twenty-six years old and I had just clumsily made my way down a tree. Something I’d done hundreds of times before, only then I had been far younger and apparently more agile. I remembered it being a lot easier.
I walked quickly down the sidewalk as though I was afraid someone would come chasing after me harassing me about where I was going. If Jake would have seen me, he would have teased me about sneaking away before he ran back to tell our mom that I was leaving.
It wasn’t like she would do anything about it in front of anyone but she’d do her best to make me feel horrible when I got back. She’d spend the rest of my visit reminding me about how I’d left the house after my grandma’s funeral when we had guests. And if she found out that I’d left to see Pike it would have been nonstop comments about how he’d been to prison. She’d probably mention all of the horrible things the club had been busted for in recent times too.
And it would do the trick.
I knew we couldn’t be together, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. We had spent a good po
rtion of our lives together… being in love. He would always have a special place in my heart and there wasn’t anything anyone could do about that.
Things had been good between us for the most part, but then everything came to a screeching halt when he joined the Brother’s Rebellion MC. Not that my parents hadn’t been trying everything in their power before that point to keep us apart. Of course they had, but none of it had worked until he joined the club.
When I saw him in the distance sitting on his bike, I almost wanted to run to him like I would have done in the old days. He’d pull me into his warm, safe arms and kiss the top of my head. My heart fluttered and I couldn’t help but smile at him. I wondered if he was thinking about the same thing.
“You made it,” he said stomping out his cigarette. “But… you’re late.”
“Sorry… lots of people at the house.”
“I can imagine. How’s your mom doing?” he asked sounding as though he genuinely cared to know. And he probably did too, even after everything she’d put him through in the past.
“She’s both barely holding it together and having the time of her life,” I said and he laughed. I crossed my arms in front of my chest. It was colder than I thought and I hadn’t brought my coat. Maybe some of the warmth from my courage was wearing off.
There was a long pause before he looked at his bike, “Go for a ride?”
“Yeah,” I said without hesitation. One of the things I loved when Pike and I had been together was taking long rides on his bike. We wouldn’t talk, we would just ride around heading nowhere in absolute, peaceful silence.
I would warp my arms around him while the wind blew through my hair. The smile on my face would be glued in place as we drove around the countryside enjoying our time together.
“You cold?”
I nodded, and he took off his black leather jacket that would be far too big for me. He wore a warm looking flannel shirt under his cut. Pike held the jacket up for me and I slipped into it instantly feeling warm.
Revenge - A Second Chance, First Time Romance Page 19