Love Isn't Always Easy: A Lesbian Romance (The Jersey Girls Book 3)

by Lydia Rose

  “Is that what you’re worried about? Me finding someone else and dumping you?” Jane realized that this was the reason that Erin was so upset. It wasn’t the time she didn’t spend with her, but that she would find someone else.

  Erin shrugged and looked at her feet.

  “Don’t you know there is no one else for me? I was alone all those years waiting for you. You are my soul mate, my heart. No one, no one could ever take your place.”

  Erin sank to the floor and began to sob uncontrollably.

  “I love you, Erin.” Jane got on the floor and held Erin tightly against her body. “I love you, baby.” She began to kiss her head, her cheek. The sobs still racked Erin’s body. “Don’t cry, baby. I’m here. I’m here.”

  They stayed on the floor until Erin’s sobs became a soft cry. Jane lifted her off the floor and led her to the bedroom. They crawled onto the bed and held each other.

  Once Jane felt that Erin was in a deep sleep, she quietly got out of bed and left the room. She had to call Denny and let him know what was going on.

  “Hey, Denny.”

  “Hi, Jane.”

  “Denny, I know tomorrow is your day off, but could you open up and take my shift tomorrow?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Erin was very, very upset tonight,” Jane said quietly.

  “Is she giving you a hard time because of not being around like Ron is doing with me?”

  “No. It’s more than that, Denny. Erin is worried about losing me to fame and fortune.” Jane let out a breath. “Erin thinks I’m going to end up leaving her.”

  “Wow. I’m sorry, Jane. What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to keep showing her how much I love her.” Now Jane giggled. “And ask her to marry me.”

  “Really?” Denny asked surprised.

  “Yes. Why not? I love her. She loves me and maybe once I have a ring on my finger, I won’t get hit on so much.”

  “You, too? I can’t believe how many times a day I am hit on since our show aired.”

  “The difference is I don’t want anyone else.” Jane exhaled loudly. “So you’ll work tomorrow?”

  Erin came out into the open. She had heard most of Jane’s conversation. “Tell him, you’ll go to work. I’m okay now,” she said moving closer to Jane.

  Denny hearing what Erin had said, told Jane, “I’ll be at work tomorrow. Go take care of your girl.”

  Jane put her phone down and looked at Erin. The worry showed on her face. “What are you doing out of bed?”

  “Your body was missing when I rolled over,” she said with a slight smile, but inside she was breaking.

  “Come on, let’s get back to bed.” Jane took her arm and led Erin to the bedroom.

  They both lay on the bed as Jane held her arm out to Erin. Her lips kissed Erin’s forehead. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too, and I want to marry you too.”

  Jane sat up quickly. “You do?”

  “Jane, I just couldn’t handle the thought of you not in my life forever.”

  “I feel the same way, baby. I waited thirty three years to find you.” Jane smiled and touched Erin’s cheek. “I’m never letting you go.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

  Jane and Erin kept their engagement to themselves over the next few months. Since no rings were exchanged, it seemed to make sense until they had time to plan a wedding.

  Even though Jane and Denny had finished taping their season, the moment it hit the airwaves, they became stars. They were both asked to guest star on other shows to cook or judge and then the morning shows began calling. Jane spent more and more time in New York and the store added another chef to help Rebecca with the day to day requirements.

  It was two weeks before Thanksgiving and Jane and Erin were looking forward to a break. Then the phone call came.

  “Ben, you want me to work on Thanksgiving?” Jane asked not believing what she was hearing.

  “It’s a wonderful opportunity, Jane. A live show with your fellow Food Network stars.”

  “I can’t, Ben.” Jane sighed. “Erin will never forgive me and my grandmother. I can’t accept.”

  “Are you sure? They are offering you a lot of money.”

  “How much money?” The moment the words left her mouth she regretted asking.

  Ben told her and Jane sucked in a breath at the amount.

  “They are going to pay me that much for one day?”

  “Yes.”

  Jane said yes without another word. Now she had to find a way to explain it to Erin.

  She let herself into Erin’s apartment with the key she had been given. Jane laid out the food on the table and lit candles. The mood was set, but Jane knew before the evening ended there would be trouble.

  “Something smells good in here,” Erin said as she came in the door.

  Jane smiled as she put her arms around Erin. “How was your day?”

  “Same as always. How about yours?”

  “Busy as always.” Jane put her arm through Erin’s and led her to the table. “I hope you enjoy the meal.”

  Erin looked down at the shellfish on her plate and muttered to herself. She has something she has to tell me and she’s buttering me up. “It looks as good as it smells.” Erin took a bite and then put her fork down. “So what is it you want to tell me?”

  “Eat dinner and then we can talk later.”

  “Jane, I won’t be able to eat until I know what it is you are afraid to tell me.” Erin stared at Jane until she could no longer meet her gaze.

  “I was offered a great opportunity today. It’s just one day of work, but it’s a lot of money and a lot of exposure.”

  “Okay,” Erin said softly.

  “It’s on Thanksgiving.”

  “You’re working Thanksgiving?” Erin expected bad news, but this was more than she could have imagined.

  “You’re angry?” Jane asked softly.

  “No, Jane, I’m thrilled that you and I won’t be spending the holiday together.” She wanted to get up and leave, but this was her apartment.

  “Do you want me to leave?” Jane asked, crying softly.

  “Jane, I don’t know what I want anymore. Let’s just finish our meal.”

  They finished the meal without another word passing between them. The dinner dishes were cleaned up and Erin went to get ready for bed. Jane was afraid to ask Erin again if she wanted her to leave so she changed and got into the bed.

  Erin was gone before Jane got up the following morning. She tried Erin’s cell, but it went to voicemail.

  “Erin, we should talk about this,” she said into the phone with a big sigh. “I love you, Erin. Please don’t shut me out.”

  Jane and Denny got into the car together to make their way to the New York Studio.

  ****

  Erin was at the station when her captain called her into his office. “How’s it going, Erin?”

  “Fine, sir,” she said taking a seat.

  “We’re looking for a couple of officers to go undercover. It’s a combined effort with the FBI. I know your background with the military.” He looked at Erin over his glasses. “Would you be interested in something like that?”

  “Yes,” Erin said instantly. “How long would this assignment be?”

  “It could be six to eight months.”

  “I’ll do it. Who do I report to?”

  Captain Arnold went over the details with Erin. The whole time Erin was thinking this was just what she needed. She needed time away from Jane. They were never going to be on the same page as far as work went and it was time to make a clean break. If anyone had told Erin that she would be leaving Jane for good, she never would have believed it. But the last several months had only gotten worse and Jane working Thanksgiving Day was the final straw.

  “You won’t mind being away for the holidays?”

  “No, sir,” Erin shook her head. “I don’t have a problem with that.”

  “Then go ho
me today and tomorrow you report to Lieutenant Benson.” The captain stood up and shook Erin’s hand. “This will look good in your file and help you become a detective faster.”

  “Thank you, sir. I appreciate the opportunity.” Erin left his office and went home.

  Erin decided to call Jane instead of waiting for her to get home.

  “Hi,” Jane said when she answered her phone.

  “Do you have time to talk?”

  “Can it wait until I get home?” Jane asked cautiously.

  “No, Jane. It can’t.”

  Jane could hear the anger in Erin’s voice. She took a seat. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “I accepted a special assignment.” Erin paused. “I won’t be around for the next six to eight months, maybe longer.”

  “What kind of assignment?” Jane asked wondering what kind of assignment would make Erin leave the area.

  “I’m not at liberty to say.”

  “You can’t tell me or won’t tell me.”

  “Both.”

  Jane looked at her phone and then realized what Erin was telling her. “You’re going undercover, aren’t you?”

  “Jane, I said I can’t tell you anything.” Erin looked around her apartment knowing she wouldn’t be here for a long while. Jane had added her touches to the small apartment with pictures of both of them. She closed her eyes as she listened to Jane.

  “You’re doing this to get back at me.” Jane began to panic.

  “Oh, when it involves my career I’m trying to get back at you. It’s okay for you to do everything they ask of you without a thought of me.”

  “Are you breaking up with me?” Jane had to sit down or she was going to pass out. She couldn’t believe that Erin was doing this to her.

  “Jane, I think we both need this time away from each other. You can concentrate on your career and I can help mine.”

  “You’re breaking up with me?” Erin didn’t answer. “I love you, Erin.”

  For the first time since they first told each other how they felt, Erin didn’t give her normal response. “I’ve got to go, Jane. I report in the morning and I’ve got a lot of things to do between now and then.” Erin disconnected the call before Jane could say another word.

  “Are you okay?” Denny asked when he saw Jane.

  “No. Erin just broke up with me,” she answered, holding back the tears so as not to ruin her make up.

  “Why? Is it because of Thanksgiving?” Denny asked leading her to a quiet corner.

  “I believe that was the final straw. She’s tired of coming in second in my life.” Jane sat down on a stool and allowed her tears to finally fall.

  “Second? It’s more like third or fourth. That’s what Ron told me the other night.” Denny took her hand. “Erin will still be around. You can try and patch this up.”

  “She won’t be around.”

  “Is she moving?”

  “I think she’s going undercover. She didn’t say that, but from what she told me,” Jane took a breath,

  “I think that’s what her new assignment is. Denny, she’s putting her life in danger to get away from me.”

  Erin packed her bags and called Casey. “Hey, Casey.”

  “How are you, Erin?” Casey asked knowing what was going on between her and Jane.

  “Can I sleep at your place tonight? I’ll bring dinner.”

  “Of course, see you at four.”

  ****

  “Pizza is not what I thought you’d bring to dinner,” Casey said with a laugh as she opened the apartment door. Erin didn’t even comment. “Come inside and tell me what’s going on.”

  Erin took a seat on the couch as Casey retrieved two beers for them.

  “So what’s with the suitcase?”

  “I have a special assignment and I won’t be around for a while, Casey.”

  “How long?”

  Erin shrugged. “Six, seven months, I’m not sure.”

  “This sounds dangerous,” Casey said moving closer. “What does Jane think about all this?”

  Again Erin shrugged. “I broke up with her.”

  “You did? I know she hasn’t been around much, but you love that girl.”

  “Sometimes love just isn’t enough,” Erin said with a loud sigh. She waited for Jane her whole life and now she was turning her back on her.

  Casey could clearly see the tears in Erin’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Erin.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  ****

  Jane used her key to get into Erin’s apartment. The moment she walked in, she knew she was too late. The apartment looked bare. The refrigerator was empty of all perishables and clothes were missing from the drawers and closet. Jane lay down on the bed and cried.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

  A tall redhead walked into the office of Lieutenant Benson. “Angie, come in. Erin Walters, this is Angela Wilson, FBI.”

  The redhead walked in and extended her hand to Erin. “It’s good to meet you, Erin.”

  “You too,” Erin mumbled.

  “Angie is going to be your roommate and partner for this assignment. She’s done undercover work before so she’ll lead you through this,” the Lieutenant explained.

  By afternoon, Erin and Angie walked into the dingy apartment in a rough part of the neighborhood they would be working.

  “Tonight we will try and make contact with one of the low level drug dealers. This is going to be a long and tedious time trying to get to the people in charge of this operation.” Angie took a seat next to Erin. “Are you going to be able to handle this?”

  Erin turned and looked at Angie. “Yes.”

  “Is there any family you are concerned in leaving behind?”

  “Nope.”

  “Boyfriend?”

  Erin wrinkled her nose. “No,” she said firmly.

  Angie smiled. “Girlfriend?”

  “We broke up. So there is no one that matters left behind.”

  “Good. Let’s go over our tactic for tonight.”

  Over the next month, Erin and Angie spent their nights hanging out with drug addicts. They both looked like they were addicts, too. Both had lost weight and their clothes didn’t look much better, but they were making inroads. Every day they would go to a low level dealer and buy all his stash. They learned that his name was Chase and after a week he became suspicious of the two women.

  “What are you doing with all the drugs you buy from me?” Chase finally asked.

  “What do you care?” Erin responded with a growl.

  “If you two are reselling in this territory, you both are going to end up dead.” Chase pointed with his hand.

  “You don’t have to worry about that,” Angie said with a laugh.

  “Yeah, so where you selling?” He pushed again moving closer to Angie.

  “Philly.” Angie bumped him away from her. “Can you get us more?”

  “What’s in it for me?” Chase asked grinning.

  “You keep your bosses happy.” Erin offered before Angie could answer.

  “I don’t think my boss would be happy to hear that you are reselling his product.” Chase looked around making sure no one was listening to their conversation.

  “So don’t tell him,” Erin said with a snarl.

  “Come back tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do.” Chase knew he was taking a big chance in pissing off his boss, but he also knew this was a way to make extra money for himself.

  ****

  Chase had a few more drugs for them, but Angie and Erin knew they would be here forever at this pace. Also, the price had gone up. Chase was making sure he was taken care of in this deal.

  “You need to bring us more,” Angie said counting out the money.

  “I don’t have to do nothing, bitch.” He moved closer to Angie as if he were going to grab her. Erin stepped between them.

  “Leave her alone, Chase,” Erin said pushing him away.

  “It’s your loss,” Angie said as she and Erin walked away.<
br />
  They were now informed by the FBI as to the bar the dealers frequented.

  Angie and Erin were sitting at a table in the corner watching the action without being obvious.

  “Tell me about her?” Angie asked as Erin picked up her bottle of beer.

  Erin looked across the table at Angie and lowered her eyes. “Nothing to tell. We fell in love, but her job came first.”

  Angie laughed. “Yeah, I know that all too well. That’s why I’m divorced.”

  Erin grinned. “Were you doing undercover work while you were married?”

  “Yes.” Angie leaned closer. “What’s her name?”

  “Jane Simmons.” Erin answered without looking at Angie. Then Jane’s face flashed in her mind. Jane’s smile nearly squeezed Erin’s heart until it felt as though it was going to stop.

  Angie’s brows furrowed. “Her name sounds familiar.”

  “She’s a Food Network star.”

  Angie’s eyes opened wide. “Of course.” Angie pictured the woman she had seen several times. “She’s a beautiful woman,” she whispered in Erin’s ear.

  “It doesn’t matter.” Erin downed the rest of her beer.

  They watched as their low level drug dealer approached their table.

  “Hey, Chase.” Angie called out. “Have a seat.”

  “Ladies,” he said giving them the once over. “Can I interest you ladies in something?”

  Angie slipped him two twenties and he slid two small packets toward her. “This will make your friend smile,” he said with a nod toward Erin who sat there with a frown.

  “Didn’t know you hung out here, Chase?” Angie asked.

  “Not often, but my boss wanted to see me.”

  “Who is your boss?” Angie asked quickly.

  He nodded over his shoulder. “That’s Silver. He runs this territory.”

  “So he’s the man?”

  Chase laughed. “That will be the day,” he said sarcastically, but realized he had said too much.

  It was easy to get information out of Chase because he sampled his supply more than he should.

  “So who is his boss?”

  Chase sat next to Erin. “What’s it to you? Do you think you’ll get a better deal if you go right to the top?”

  “Maybe Angie and I want to start our own territory,” Erin answered.