Changing Hearts

by Marilu Mann

  Micah turned and walked out of the bar, leaving Slade sitting there staring after him. When the door opened again to allow more people to enter the bar, Slade shook his head and shoulders.

  He glanced at the hamburger and fries congealing in their own grease and blanched. Throwing money on the bar to pay for his food and the beer, he left with no clear idea of where he was going.

  Tante Kay and Micah had both suggested that he belonged with Joie. Joie had told him his home was with her. The longing hit him like a lightning bolt. He could almost smell the bayou, could almost hear the sounds of the birds and squirrels and he could almost taste Joie’s gumbo, not to mention her sweet mouth.

  “What in the fuck am I doing in fucking Oklahoma?”

  Slade didn’t realize he’d spoken out loud until two people stopped to stare at them. He grinned ferally at them then took off running for his bike.

  “I’m going home, home to Joie.” He spoke softly under his breath as he mounted the bike. The phrase repeated itself over and over as the powerful bike started down the highway back the way he’d come.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Four weeks into her pregnancy, morning sickness had become a reality. She’d expected Malcolm back before now. Joie brushed her hair out of her eyes as another wave of nausea hit her. She kept one arm protectively over her stomach as she retched.

  When finally able, she got slowly to her feet. Staring at her reflection, she was glad Malcolm hadn’t come back. What would he think of her now? Her hair lay dull against her scalp, her eyes were glassy and she’d never looked this pasty in her life!

  Joie washed her face, brushed her teeth and stepped into the shower. She let the cool water run over her body for several minutes before leaning down for the soap. Pouring soap onto the sponge, she remembered the pleasure Malcolm had taken in washing her. Joie sighed as she replaced the soap then ran the sponge slowly over her neck and shoulders.

  Her breasts were slightly larger now than before. She shuddered slightly to think how big they’d really get. She washed the rest of her body then soaped her hair. The smell of the shampoo was almost enough to make her cry. She remembered this smell from the day she’d cut Malcolm’s hair.

  “Joie Sue, that’s enough. He’s gone. He may never come back. Snap out of it!” Joie spoke loudly to herself, slapping her hands against the wet tile in the bathroom. She turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping her hair in a towel, she grabbed another one to dry off with.

  Dressing quickly, she made her way down the hall to the kitchen. A glass of tea and some dry toast were all she could stomach right now. Tante Kay came out of her room with a frown in place.

  “You done made up your mind, then?”

  “Yes. I just want to be by myself for a few days. The animals are all going to the vet over in LaPlace. You’ll be fine here, won’t you?”

  “I been alone before, child. ‘Sides, it ain’t forever. You’ll be back soon enough.” Tante came forward, hugging Joie with a strength that amazed her.

  “That’s right. I just need a week or so by myself, just to get some perspective. I’ll be back and then we can talk about what we’re going to do about the baby’s room.”

  “Right!” Tante Kay thrust one arm high in the air. “We gonna have us a baby!” She clapped her hands then cupped Joie’s face and gave her a smacking kiss on both cheeks.

  “You go back to the cabin and take care of yourself, rest. Boudreaux, he already opened everything up for you and all the linens are fresh. I wish you’d let us put that air conditioner in, at least in the bedroom. You know your body is gonna be warmer now that you’re breeding.”

  “I know. I just want things the way they are for now. If I decide to stay more than a week I’ll let you know and then we can talk about the air conditioner.” Joie gave Tante a kiss of her own then finished her tea. “I’d like to get started. This early it’ll still be a little cool on the bayou.”

  “You take care now, child. You got that cell phone?”

  “I have it. And the extra battery.” Joie put her glass in the sink. “You take care too.”

  “Don’t you be worrying about me, now.” Tante flapped her hands at Joie as she followed her to the door.

  Joie turned back once to wave then got into the boat. The cabin held nothing but happy memories, no fear, no sadness. That’s where she wanted to be right now to decide what she was going to do.

  Out of curiosity, she’d contacted the bank that held the account Malcolm had left information on. There was enough money in there to keep Tante Kay, Joie and the baby in comfort for several years but she didn’t want to use it. That was Malcolm’s money and if he thought he could buy forgiveness, he had another thought coming.

  Joie set the boat on a straight course to the cabin, seeing but not really registering the scenery all around her. Fish and turtles jumped in the water, birds and deer drank from the banks. She saw them all but paid them no attention. Her mind focused inward on the child growing inside her and the man who had fathered her child.

  She arrived at the cabin and docked the boat. Tying it securely, she picked up the small bag holding the last of her personal items. Making her way up the path, she stopped at the first sight of the cabin.

  A smile formed across her face as she started up the steps and stayed there as she placed her toiletries in the bathroom then walked into the bedroom.

  Joie sat on the side of the bed and opened the bag again. Withdrawing the picture frame holding her family picture and Malcolm’s, she put it on the table beside the bed then lay down on her side. Another side effect of her pregnancy was frequent napping.

  She smiled again as she stared at the faces of the little girl on one side of the picture and the little boy on the other.

  “Such beautiful children.” She drifted off to sleep with the picture firmly in her mind and that’s how he found her.

  * * * * *

  Slade had arrived at the cabin on foot only to be confronted by Tante Kay holding that damn shotgun on him. She hadn’t been swayed by anything he’d said until he’d stared her right in the face.

  “I love Joie. I love her more than anything in this world. If you’re going to shoot me, do it. Otherwise, please, tell her I’m here and I want to see her. If she sends me away, I’ll go and I’ll never bother you again. Please. I just want to see her.”

  “She ain’t here, boy.”

  That single definitive statement nearly dropped him to his knees.

  “Tante, please tell me where she is.”

  The shotgun never wavered as she shook her head. “You know where she is, boy. She’s right where you left her.”

  Slade felt like he’d been hit with a one-ton steel weight right in the middle of his chest. Left. Tante had packed a wallop into that one word. He’d abandoned his mate. The only woman he’d ever marked as his. Would she want him back now? Would she tell him to hit the road and never come back?

  A spasm hit him in the heart. If she didn’t want him back, what would he do?

  He had to find her. Slade whirled to leap off the porch, but spun back toward the old woman. Oblivious to the shotgun, he grabbed her in a quick fierce hug. “Pray for me, old woman. Pray that I am not too late.”

  “Stupid Loup Garou. You think I ever stopped praying for you?” She swung the butt of the shotgun at him like a broom to sweep him off the porch. “Get outta here, boy. You got some groveling to do.”

  In his scramble to hit the ground, Slade realized she hadn’t reacted to him in fear. She’d treated him like family. Family who’d screwed up, but still, she’d treated him like family.

  He got to the water’s edge only to find the boat missing. Cursing, he ripped at his clothes. Once they lay in scraps at his feet, he threw himself into the water changing as he went. Powerful muscles propelled him toward the cabin.

  Unerringly he swam back to the place he truly considered home. He wondered if he could talk Joie into living here instead of at Kay’s plac
e. Then he wondered if she would even let him in the door. He changed shape again as soon as his feet were on solid ground. For once he was grateful for the heat as the sun dried his skin.

  He’d called out to her as he walked up the steps but she hadn’t answered. Slade moved through the cabin, noting the changes since he’d been there last. A fresh coat of paint decorated all the interior walls and braided rugs covered the worn spots on the floor. There were new covers on the couch and curtains on the windows. Potted plants occupied the windowsills and a painting of moonlight on the bayou graced one wall. A new ceiling fan turned quickly in the living room as well.

  He’d moved farther down the hall then stopped in the doorway to the bedroom. Joie lay on her side, one hand under her face, the other on her stomach. He walked slowly across the room never taking his eyes from her. So fucking beautiful. “No fucking,” he whispered with a grin.

  Kneeling by the bed, Slade ran one hand over her face, brushing her hair back slightly. He leaned forward, inhaling slowly. Lilacs, soap and something more. There was a different scent to her body now. Something that he couldn’t quite name.

  Rocking back on his heels, he wondered if it could be their child. Was it possible he could distinguish the child’s scent already? She wasn’t that far along. My child.

  “Joie,” he spoke softly, unsure of her reaction. He wouldn’t blame her if she threw him out but he’d get on his knees and beg to stay if he had to.

  She sighed and rolled onto her back. His gaze skimmed over her body. She had on a blue t-shirt and a blue and white skirt. Her softly rounded body made him sweat with longing. Slade reached out and touched her face again. “Joie?”

  She opened her eyes slowly, a beautiful smile on her face as she whispered, “I knew you’d be back.”

  Her eyes closed but the smile stayed in place. Slade smiled as he leaned over her to kiss her softly, running his tongue over her lips. With a gasp, she shoved him away and sat straight up.

  “Malcolm?”

  “Yeah, baby.” Slade sat on the edge of the bed. He wanted to pull her into his arms, wanted to kiss her, wanted to make love to her but she stared at him like he was a ghost.

  “I’m not still asleep?” Joie pinched her arm, winced and scooted back away from him slightly. Her eyes turned cold and his heart dropped. “What are you doing here?”

  Slade clasped his hands, licked his lips then met her gaze. “I am a complete and total asshole.”

  She didn’t object or agree. He cleared his throat and started again. “Joie, I don’t remember what it was like, being part of a family. I don’t know how to do it. I’m going to fuck things up, I know I will, but I’m willing to try.”

  He couldn’t look at her now, didn’t want to watch her face when she told him to disappear. “I ran away because that’s the only way I knew to deal with things. I came back because you’re my home. You’re the only home I’ve ever really wanted to return to. If you tell me…” he stopped and swallowed again. “If you tell me to leave, I will. God, I hope you don’t.”

  Joie looked at him. She saw the tears he didn’t acknowledge, watched them roll down his face as he said he’d leave. Brushing a hand across her own cheek, she wiped her tears away then knelt on the bed behind him.

  “I don’t want you to leave. I never wanted you to leave.” Joie reached out to put her fingers over his mouth, stopping him from saying anything. “I love you, Malcolm. I told you that and I’ll keep telling you until you believe it. Love doesn’t disappear, not real love. What you and I have, that’s forever.”

  Joie touched her neck where he’d marked her. “You told me once that this meant we belonged together. I believe that. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past. What matters now is our future. Yours, mine and our child’s.”

  She took his hand and put it over her abdomen. “Your baby is inside me here, Malcolm. You? You’re inside me here.” She placed his hand over her heart.

  He took a shuddering breath then yanked her into his arms. Burying his face against her neck, he held tightly to her, rocking back and forth with her in his arms. Joie squirmed around until she was half in his lap. She stroked her hands over his head and shoulders until he raised his head.

  “I love you so much, Joie.”

  “I know.” She smiled as she pulled his head down to hers. The kiss started softly, tentatively, and she was the one who bumped it up, sucking his lower lip into her mouth. She’d missed him so much, missed this feeling. “Malcolm Slade, if you ever try to leave me again, I’ll shoot you with Tante Kay’s shotgun. After I load it with rock salt!”

  He shouted with laughter then flopped back on the bed with his arms around her. “You’ll have to shoot me to get me to leave, baby. I’m back for good. I even found a job, well, sort of.”

  “What? What kind of job?”

  “I talked to Boudreaux earlier, before I came out here. He said they’re looking for a welder at the mill where he works.”

  “You can weld?”

  “Hey, I can do a lot of things. There’s more to me than just shifting.”

  “I know that. I’ve always known that.” Joie brushed a kiss over his mouth then studied him. “You look tired.”

  “I’ve been on the road for nearly a week. Fucking bike broke down about fifty miles from here.”

  “How did you get here?”

  “Walked, ran, hitched a ride when I could, swam. Couldn’t shift ‘cause there was no way to carry my clothes.” Reaching up slowly, he traced the line of her jaw then tucked her hair behind her ear. “Nothing was more important than getting back to you.”

  “Really?” She smiled and propped her chin on his chest.

  “Yeah. I ran into Micah about a week ago. Between him and Kay, I was forced to face a few facts.”

  Joie settled herself more comfortably on his chest. “What facts?”

  “Like the fact that I’ve never really faced up to anything in my life that I didn’t want to. If something pissed me off or didn’t go my way, I just walked away.” Slade sighed and clasped his hands in the small of Joie’s back. “Like the fact that without you I don’t have a home, I don’t have a place to be or anyone to be with. If you hadn’t forgiven me I don’t know what I would have done.”

  “Oh, I didn’t say I’d forgiven you.” Her softly spoken words sent an arrow of ice straight to his heart.

  “What?” Slade moved on the bed until they were lying side by side and he could see her face. “You took me back!”

  He heard the edge of panic in his voice and fought it down. Joie met his eyes briefly then focused on his chest.

  “Yes, I’ve taken you back, welcomed you back, even but that doesn’t mean you’re forgiven for leaving me in the first place.”

  “You said you love me.” He was going to beg in a minute, he’d get down on his belly and grovel to stay here, stay with her.

  “I do love you.” Joie finally looked up, meeting his eyes and he nearly screamed in relief. Humor shone from her green eyes as a slight smile flirted with the edges of her mouth. She was teasing him!

  “What do I have to do to get you to forgive me, Joie?” Slade moved his hand from her waist up to cup her breast. The sharp intake of breath she gave almost brought a smile to his face. He palmed her breast, feeling the difference in weight as he plucked at her nipple through the t-shirt.

  He moved his head to her jaw, kissing and licking her jaw and neck, inhaling her sweet scent again. His body reacted instantly, and the fact that he was totally naked meant she had to be aware of it.

  “Well,” she sounded a little breathless as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth. “That’s a damn good start.”

  “What was it you called me once? Your very own love slave?” Slade murmured the words softly into her ear then raised his head to meet her eyes. “Use me, baby. Tell me what you want me to do. Anything you want, tell me.”

  “Marry me.” She was still breathless but her words were clear enough. Slade froze, his hand on
her breast, his mouth inches from hers. He drew his head back to stare at her.

  “What?”

  “You said anything. That’s what I want.” Her jaw tightened and she squirmed out from under him, sitting up with her back against the headboard.

  Slade sat up, swinging his legs around to sit facing her. “Marry you?”

  “Is that so difficult to understand? I want our child to have your name, Malcolm. I want your name. I want us to be a family in the truest sense of the word. If you truly love me, truly want to be here with me, then marry me.”

  “I didn’t…I never.” He swallowed hard, stared at his hands for a moment as he thought about the past week and what his life had been like without Joie in it. “How right that is,” he murmured. “What is my life without joy? Without you.”

  Slade got off the bed to pace beside it for a moment. Whirling to face her, he knelt on the bed as he reached for her hands. “What do we have to do?”

  “What?” His sudden acquiescence seemed to startle her.

  “What do we have to do, in the human world? We’re already mated, baby. Nothing can change that. You want a piece of paper, you want it legal in the human world, tell me what we have to do.” Slade played with her fingers, entwining his hands with hers.

  “Well, we have to have a license and a our birth certificates.”

  “How long does it take?”

  "About seventy-two hours, I think. Tante will know more."

  "Do we have to have a blood test?"

  "No, not any more. Oh! Malcolm, would your shifting show up in a blood test?"

  "Yes. Since it's genetic, it'll show up as a blood anomaly, nothing serious or deadly, though."

  “Oh.” She seemed subdued for a moment then glanced at him again. “So, does this mean you agree?”

  “Hell yes.” Slade pulled her into his arms, wrapping them tightly around her. “I don’t want to lose you. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, to keep you in my life. I love you, Joie.”