Resisting the Hero

by Cindi Madsen

  Faith combined all the ingredients in a large dish and stirred around. “Looks pretty good if I do say so myself.”

  Her cell rang, and when she saw Kaleb’s name on the display, she answered. “Are you guys on your way? Dinner’s almost done.”

  “Thanks so much, but Anna’s blood pressure shot up, and they want to keep her one more day for observation, just in case. I know Ella’s a handful,” he said.

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry about us,” Faith said, though she was worried how she was possibly going to survive another full-time day with Ella. But she was more concerned for Anna and the baby, so she’d suck it up and do whatever it took, despite the fact she’d been dreaming about going to bed since about four in the afternoon.

  “Anna’s feeling pretty down, so I’m going to sleep here again. I’ll be by early in the morning to get dressed for work. Unless you need me there now. Like I said, I know Ella’s a handful.”

  “Actually…” Faith didn’t want to upset Kaleb—and without him coming home, he’d never know—but it was stupid to hide things from him. “Connor’s over now. He’s trying to get Ella to fall asleep. With his help, I’ll be okay.”

  With every second the line remained quiet, her stomach hitched higher. Why did she feel so nervous? She was an adult, free to make her own decisions. “Tell him I said thanks,” he finally said. “I do feel better knowing he’s there.”

  “He’s really good with Ella.”

  “I know.”

  He’s really good with me, she thought, which was silly but true. Maybe if she accepted Connor as more of a for-now guy, instead of pressuring him or herself to make it into something more, she could keep her heart from getting broken. A summer fling. People had them all the time. Who knew if they could actually get along for long enough to pull off a relationship, anyway?

  She told Kaleb to keep her updated, disconnected the call, and opened a bag of salad mix. As she was finishing setting the table, Connor came in, his hands free.

  “You got her to sleep?” Faith asked.

  Connor rubbed his hand across his jaw and nodded. “She’s out like a light. For how long is anyone’s guess.”

  Faith filled him in on Anna and Kaleb and then they sat at the table to have dinner, just the two of them. Suddenly she was afraid to make eye contact, like he’d sense she’d decided to have a summer fling with him and attack her.

  Then again, I might kind of like for him to attack me, she thought, her cheeks heating.

  Connor made a choking noise. He reached for his drink and drained it in a couple of large gulps. Then he set the glass down and looked across the table at her. “Wow, that’s…” He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and shook his head. “You’re sexy and funny and can talk trash like nobody’s business. But you can’t cook for shit, babe.”

  All her happy tingly, I-wanna-start-something-with-this-guy vibes vanished. “Ah! I’m never cooking you dinner again!”

  He reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “Don’t be mad. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it. Or we’ll just be one of those couples who eat out all the time—that works for me.”

  She yanked her hand free. “You can go by yourself, you jerk. And don’t call me ‘babe.’”

  “Okay, sexy.”

  She clenched her jaw, and all he did was grin at her, amusement flickering in his eyes. “I notice you haven’t tried it,” he said, pointing his chin at her plate.

  Faith picked up her fork and shoved a bite of pasta in her mouth to prove it wasn’t that bad. Connor was watching her closely, so she tried to chew and act like it wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever tasted in her life. The noodles had coagulated to one gooey yet crunchy chunk, and the overpowering charred taste made it clear she’d burned more than just the chicken. Come to think of it, the pasta sauce was more brown than white. She held back a shudder as she swallowed. Connor pressed his lips together, obviously working hard not to laugh.

  Faith grabbed her glass of milk and took a large drink to wash it all down. “It’s…” She dropped her fork and sighed. “How am I going to do this for a month and a half? I can’t take care of Ella without losing my patience, can’t get her to go to sleep, and I can’t cook dinner.”

  Connor’s face softened. “Hey, it’s not that bad. I just wasn’t expecting… Well, it’s raw and burned at the same time. It’s a lot of…flavors to deal with. Now that I’m prepared…” He wound noodles around his fork and started to lift them to his mouth.

  Faith put her hand on his wrist. “It’s disgusting. Don’t eat it.”

  The fork clinked against his plate as he released it. “I’m sure the salad is good. I’m always thinking I should eat more vegetables.” He dished himself a large helping and passed it over to her. Luckily, the company who bagged it knew what they were doing—after the burned food it tasted especially amazing, although not very filling.

  “About taking care of Ella,” Connor said, his eyes locking on Faith’s. “The fun part of being the aunt or uncle is coming in, playing with them, and then getting to leave. It’s one thing to deal with whining or tantrums for an hour or two. It’s another thing to do it all day. You’ll get the hang of it, though.” One corner of his mouth twisted up. “And we’ll work on the cooking thing.”

  After they ate their salad and a lot of bread, they cleaned up the disastrous kitchen. When Connor moved to wipe off the counter in front of her, he caged her in with his arms and pressed his body against hers. Then he leaned down and kissed the back of her neck. A hot flush spread from his lips to her core.

  “Connor,” she tried to say, but it came out with little air behind it.

  “Yeah, babe.”

  She twisted to face him. “If we’re gonna do this—”

  “We are,” he said, closing the mere inches between them and causing the point she needed to make go wispy.

  She swallowed, her heart thumping hard in her chest. “You’ve helped me a lot in the past few days. I appreciate it, and I do…care about you.” It felt like her skin was too tight all of a sudden, so she rushed on with the rest. “But I know you don’t normally do commitment, and I think it’ll work better for both of us if we agree from the start that it’s not serious. We’re not… This isn’t like a relationship.”

  Connor lightly kissed her lips. “If this isn’t ‘like a relationship,’ I’m not sure what a relationship is.”

  “You know what I mean. We don’t have to be exclusive. Like if you want to go out with someone else, you…can. No big deal.” The words tasted bitter on her tongue, like the little lies they were. Yes, he could, but it’d hurt her, despite telling herself she could handle it if she knew it were a possibility instead of getting surprised with it.

  Connor dropped the rag he’d been using and pulled her flush against him. “If you decide to go on a date with another guy, you’d better make sure he’s bigger and tougher than me.” His snarky eyebrow raise made it clear he didn’t believe that were possible. “Because I’m not going to just watch that happen.”

  “You’re threatening my hypothetical date?”

  He kissed her deeply, sliding his tongue in to meet hers and claiming every inch of her mouth. He tilted her head back and looked her in the eye. “I’m saying, you’re mine, babe. And this isn’t like a relationship, it is one. So get used to it.”

  She needed to argue—a guy like him didn’t change overnight, she knew that. And she was trying to find the words. But then his lips came down on hers again, he pressed his hips into her, and words just seemed so damn unimportant.

  She gave in to the kiss and he boosted her onto the counter. His hand slid up her leg, to the hem of her shorts, her skin burning every place he touched.

  “Mommy!” Ella’s voice was filled with tears. “Mommy!”

  Connor leaned his forehead against the cabinet behind Faith, his breaths sawing in and out of his mouth.

  “I got it,” Faith said, the rise and fall of her chest matching his. Sh
e kissed his cheek and scooted off the counter. Ella stood in the hallway outside her parents’ room, tears streaming down her face.

  “Mommy,” she said with a sniff.

  “I know. She’ll be home soon, okay?” Faith lifted Ella and her niece wrapped her arms around her neck. Faith glanced over the curls at Connor, who looked slightly disheveled, like he might have run his hands through his hair a couple times—maybe even splashed water on his face.

  He sat on the couch and Faith carried Ella over to sit next to him. Then they fired up Sleeping Beauty and settled in for what was most likely going to be a long night.

  Chapter Twelve

  Faith heard Ella’s tiny voice, followed by a much deeper one. Her brain was still in the foggy half-asleep stage, and judging from the odd angle of her neck and the kink that might never go away, she guessed she’d slept on the couch.

  “She’s being Sleeping Beauty,” Ella said. Nice, but probably an exaggeration considering Faith’s hair was usually a tangled mess in the morning.

  “And how do you wake up Sleeping Beauty?” Connor asked, and Faith’s heart rate steadily increased, chasing away the last of the haziness.

  “Tiss of tourse.”

  Connor’s heavy footsteps crossed to her and she bit back a smile. His breath fanned her face and then he pressed his mouth to hers. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.” His words vibrated against her lips and traveled down her core.

  Faith kept her eyes closed. “What if you’re not my prince?”

  “Then you’d still be asleep.” He kissed her again, running his tongue across the seam of her lips. Suddenly, she was feeling very awake, and remembering how they’d been interrupted last night.

  When she opened her eyes, she was greeted with the image of her dead-sexy cop, uniform and all. Ella stood next to him, a chocolate milk mustache and the remains of the un-washable blue marker on her face.

  “I put Ella to bed around three, and considered carrying you to your bed.” Connor leaned closer and lowered his voice. “But I wasn’t sure I could keep myself from only setting you in it, and I was afraid your brother would catch me in there and kill me.” His lips brushed her ear, sending goose bumps skating across her skin. “Right now, I’m thinking it would’ve been worth the risk.”

  Faith ran her hand down Connor’s cheek, noticing it was smoother than last night. “You shaved.”

  “I snuck back to my place to take care of Penny and get ready for work. Kaleb got home about an hour ago, and he insists on going in today, even though I told him the guys and I could take care of it.”

  A door opened and closed in the hall, and Kaleb came into the room, dressed in his uniform.

  “Uncle Connor woke up Auntie Faith with a tiss,” Ella said, and Kaleb’s shoulders tensed.

  Connor patted Faith’s thigh and shot her a tight smile. “Looks like my day is gonna be interesting.” He stood and readjusted his belt. “Are you sure you don’t need me to get your shift covered again, man? I don’t mind.”

  “No. It looks like if I take off a day, everyone will forget the simple instructions I gave them.”

  Faith glanced from Kaleb to Connor, back to Kaleb. They were having some weird showdown, and she didn’t like feeling out of the loop, especially when it obviously involved her. “So, um, I appreciate the protective vibe and all, Kaleb, but I can make my own choices, you know.”

  “It’s just that I remember who you always turn to when your choices end badly,” Kaleb said, “and I don’t have time to take care of anything else right now. I’ve got my hands full as it is.”

  Offense pinched her gut. “I can take care of myself.”

  “Like when you ran out of gas?”

  “That could happen to anyone,” Connor said, and he and Kaleb went back to staring each other down.

  Faith stood, putting herself between the two of them and addressing Kaleb. “I’m trying to help you. I want Anna to get well as much as you do, and I’m doing everything I know to do. I wish I was better with Ella; I’ve just never done this before. But I’ll figure it out, I swear.”

  Kaleb sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what I’d do without you here.” In that moment, he turned from the guy who’d always protected her, to a guy on the verge of cracking under everything going on in his life. “But I still worry. I need both my sister and my best friend if I’m going to get through this, and it’d be easier if I didn’t feel like killing one of them.” His hardened gaze went back to Connor.

  Connor opened his mouth, but Kaleb threw up a hand. “We need to go or we’ll be late. And I’d rather Ella not hear this discussion anyway.” He bent down and kissed Ella’s cheek. “Be good for Auntie Faith, okay? And if Mommy can’t come home this afternoon, I’ll take you to see her.”

  Ella’s lower lip trembled. “Mommy.”

  Kaleb put his hand on Faith’s shoulder. “Call if you need me.” He jerked his chin toward the door and Connor glanced at her for a moment before he followed. As hectic as her day with Ella was sure to be, she thought that Connor might have it worse than she did.

  …

  As Connor walked toward the squad car, he told himself whatever happened next, getting to kiss Faith had been worth it. More than that, though, she’d needed him—even admitted it, out loud—and he never realized how nice it was to be needed on that level. It was deeper than his job, and when she’d told him she cared about him, the shell he’d kept around his heart for so long cracked open and filled with her. There was no going back now, and he’d fight for her if he had to.

  “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve done for my family this week,” Kaleb said. “But this thing with you and Faith will only end badly, and it pisses me off that even when I told you why I didn’t like it, you blew it off.”

  Connor got into the passenger seat. “I tried, man. But she called me, and what was I supposed to do?”

  “Keep it in your pants.”

  “Technically, I did. So far, there was just ki—”

  “I don’t wanna know. I don’t suppose asking you to stop would do any good?”

  “I’m not gonna lie to you, man. I can see where you’re coming from, but I already care about her. I’ll treat her right, I promise.”

  Kaleb shook his head, his jaw set, and fired up the car. The thick silence settled over them as he pulled onto the road.

  Connor readjusted the radio so it wouldn’t come loose if they hit a bump, and for something to keep his hands busy. After another minute of silence, he cleared his throat. “I was even thinking, with her career, Faith’ll know how to handle my line of work better. If things get that serious.”

  “Shit,” Kaleb said. “You’ve actually thought that far ahead? You really are serious.”

  “I told you I was.”

  “Did you tell her how you knew my dad? About why you became a cop?”

  Connor swallowed. It’d taken six months of knowing Kaleb before he’d even told him exactly why Officer Fitzpatrick was one of his heroes and what the man had done for his family. “I told her he was one of my heroes. I’m not quite ready to tell her the rest—not because I’m not serious, but hell, we haven’t even gone on a date yet. I’d like to at least take her out and get to know her before I start sharing my life sob story.”

  Kaleb slowed for a stop sign. “I still don’t like it. But…you better take her out somewhere public, not your house, and if you hurt her—”

  “I get it.”

  “I don’t think you do. I’ve felt responsible for her ever since I can remember, but even more after my dad died. I’ve ended up hating every guy she’s ever dated. It’d be a shame to lose my best friend.”

  The pressure pressed against him, like when he was at the gym and got cocky with too much weight and no spotter and he wasn’t sure he’d get the bar off his chest before it crushed him. Risking himself for work, even putting the side of himself out there that he usually hid, he could handle that—if on
ly he got hurt. But being with Faith meant risking his best friend, on top of knowing he might accidentally hurt her, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. Usually, he’d say it wasn’t worth it. He kept picturing her face, though, and thinking about how she saw through his bullshit and always had a witty comeback. Her passion for helping people and that damned awful pasta that somehow only made her more adorable.

  If anyone in the world was worth the risk, it was Faith. “I promise I’ll take care of her.”

  Kaleb didn’t say anything. But his hard glance and stiff posture said, You’d better.

  …

  By lunchtime, Faith couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to at least check in with Connor. She sent him a text.

  You still alive? Missing any limbs?

  A few minutes later, he texted back.

  Any particular limb you interested in?

  She shook her head, cool relief washing over her. If he was joking, he must be just fine. She was trying to think of a good comeback when another text came in.

  Got permission to take you out this weekend. There are lots of rules attached, but it looks like you’ll finally get that hot date you’ve been begging me for since the night we met. A second later. Stop shaking your head. You know you want me.

  Ella whimpered, holding up her sandwich, speaking what Faith was pretty sure was an alien language made of high-pitched squeaks. Flirting when a toddler was in the room took multitasking skills she wasn’t sure she had.

  Faith moved toward Ella but kept her eyes on her keypad.

  Actually, just realized I sent this to the wrong number. Pardon me while I text my other too-cocky-for-his-own-good guy.

  Tracing your texts now. Other guy will be out of the picture momentarily. And seriously, that’s not funny.

  Ella pointed at the crust on her sandwich and Faith realized that Anna normally cut it off. So Faith removed the brown edges and gave the food back.