When Fall Breaks

by Julie Solano

  The guys work to unload every last bit of food, luggage, and bedding, while we prepare the turkey and pies in our cabin. When we’re finally settled and the food is prepped and in the oven, Jenna, Peyton, and I go over to the boys cabin to see what they’re up to. When we walk in, they’re giggling like school girls.

  “Just go over there Dude. Act like we need something and go talk to her.” I see Mason pressed up against the side of the window trying to peek through the shutters, while Brody and Caden try to convince him to go to the cabin next door.

  “What’s all this?” Peyton laughs. “Do we have a mystery girl in attendance this weekend?”

  “Oh she’s more than a girl. She’s a goddess,” Mason replies distractedly.

  “He won’t peel his eyes away from that window. He’s been standing there for at least twenty minutes,” Caden shakes his head. “None of us have actually seen her, and who knows about this guy’s taste in women, but it sure is fun to watch him drool.”

  “Guys . . . guys. . . psst . . . get over here . . . I see her,” Mason frantically whispers.

  We all run to the window, and crowd around, trying to pull the shutters back slightly, so we won’t be seen.

  “Hooollllyyyyy crap,” Caden slips as he’s instantly backhanded on his shoulder by Peyton.

  Brody simply nods his head for several seconds, mouth closed, and finally turns toward Mason. He draws his eyebrows together as an amused grin grows on his ever bobbing head, “Yep, good taste runs in our genes.” He turns his head and wags his eyebrows at me.

  I narrow my eyes at him and with a sarcastic smirk reply, “Nice save, way smoother than my brother over there.”

  Walking down the path to her car, I spy the beautiful country stunner the boys are salivating over. She flips her long, loosely curled brown hair over her shoulder, revealing a hot pink quote plastered across her camo sweatshirt.

  “What do you think that says?” Brody asks.

  “What?” Mason and Caden reply in unison.

  “Right there on her chest,” Brody squints.

  “Why are you looking at her chest?” I growl.

  “Kind of hard not to.” Mason drools. “Wait, she’s coming closer . . . Let me try to figure it out. Slowly he slurs, “I . . . Love . . . Big Trucks . . . Mudding . . . Bonfires. . . and Country Boys. Hot Damn!!!” He jumps up excitedly and gives the boys high fives.

  Dang, she is gorgeous. That’s it; Brody’s not going to want to be with me if he has her to look at all week. It’s like CJ all over again. I feel all the insecurities Pistol planted creeping back into my mind. She’s what every guy here wants. She really is a ten.

  “Ya, she looks like she’s right up your alley Mason. Why don’t you grow a pair and go meet her Dude,” Caden jokes.

  “She’s not that pretty, geez. Look at her booty. She needs a doublewide to haul that thing around.”

  “Looks pretty dang good to me . . . like it’s been handcrafted by a Brazilian surgeon . . . You jealous or something?”

  “I’m not jealous and her rack practically blocks her smile. I bet it’s stuffed,” Jenna says straight faced, nonchalantly.

  “Well I am,” Peyton quips, “especially since my boyfriend can’t seem to keep his mouth closed over here.”

  “Me too,” I add, staring at Cowgirl Barbie sauntering back up toward her cabin.

  “Awww. Come here Babe, she doesn’t hold a candle to you.” Brody holds his arms straight out for me to come to him.

  “You either, Sexy. Come here.” When Peyton gets to Caden, he grabs her butt. “and . . . damn girl, I’d stand behind you any day.”

  “You’re nuts,” she giggles.

  “Speaking of futures, I’ve got to figure out a way to meet mine before this night is over,” Mason interrupts Caden’s playful banter.

  “Well, it’s gonna have to wait, cuz we’ve got to get out there and find some wood while this storm’s still holding off.” Brody reminds the boys. “Do you girls want to come with us?”

  “We’d love to, but we’ve got cooking duties over at our cabin,” I sigh in disappointment.

  “Do you all have to go? It’s a pretty small kitchen.”

  “No. Peyton can go with you guys. You probably want to show her around anyway, since she’s never been over here before.”

  “You wouldn’t mind? I feel bad. Shouldn’t I help?”

  “We’ve got this covered. Go have fun Peyton. Explore. This place is full of surprises.”

  “Don’t worry Jenna. We’ll show her what poison oak looks like. We’re not gonna let anyone else make the same mistake you did with your magical firewood.”

  Brody takes me by the hand, “I need to talk to Pip before we head out.”

  When we get outside on the porch, he pulls me into a close hug and whispers in my ear, “You know I was just messin’ around in there about that girl . . . trying to look cool in front of the guys. I meant it when I said she doesn’t hold a candle to you.”

  His words are soft spoken and sincere. He maintains his gentle hold on me, as he pulls away from my ear and rests his chin on top of my head. “Since the barn dance, I’ve had a lot of time to think about what my world would look like without you. And . . . it would break me Pip. Your smile, your laugh, your smell, those beautiful blue eyes, your feisty little spirit, everything about you . . . You are a masterpiece, handcrafted by God himself. You’re beautiful from the inside out. So you’ve got to know Pip, that even if I look at another girl, I will never see her . . . not the way I see you. I don’t see with my eyes, I see with my soul, and you own it . . . completely.”

  His words are not just words. I can feel them wrapping themselves around my heart, igniting a fire that warms me from the inside out. Bundled in his strong embrace, and captivated by his warmth, I find myself at peace. For the first time, I feel completely secure with another human being. I cannot describe this overpowering feeling. It’s like I’m weightless, yet anchored all at the same time. My soul is tethered to Brody’s; I actually feel his emotions. I’ve said I love people before, but I’m not sure that I really knew what that meant . . . until now. A smile plays on my lips as I look up into his eyes.

  “I love you Brody Tatum . . .” I shake my head searching for more meaningful words, but I come up with nothing more powerful than those three words. “That’s all.”

  “I love you too Kaitlyn Woodley. Now go cook me some turkey Girl.” He pats my butt and lets out a cute chuckle.

  Brody kisses the top of my head, gives me a slight wave, and leaves me with a wink and a dimply smile. After he makes his way back into the cabin, Jenna steps through the door and we head back over to our place and get to work. When we finish our kitchen duties, we decide we need a little down time. Jenna heads up to the clearing on the hill so she can text Ty for a while, since there’s no service down here in the basin. In the silence of the cabin, so many emotions and words play on my heart that I pick up my guitar and finish the song I started.

  When Fall Breaks

  Sittin’ on the tailgate of his daddy’s truck;

  baskin’ in the bonfire’s glow

  He holds me tight and twirls my hair

  as the wind begins to blow

  He pulls me close and holds me tight;

  my heart jumps for goodness sake

  There’s nothin’ quite like a country night

  with him~

  When fall breaks

  And just like that the winds of time

  unleash the bitter cold

  His love grows dim, the colors die;

  to him we’re growin old

  I watch them dance around the floor;

  tears roll as my heart aches

  There’s nothin’ quite like a broken heart

  from him~

  When fall breaks

  And then one day, out of the blue

  Another looked my way;

  He sparked a flame inside my soul

  brightened my darkest day

  He cam
e around each time I made

  the worst of life’s mistakes

  There’s nothing like a helping hand

  from him~

  When fall breaks

  Chorus

  And with the change of seasons

  He brought a change to me

  He pulled me from a fiery hell

  and set my spirit free

  He gave me wings to fly again

  and soar to unknown heights

  He put the color in my day

  and stars into my nights

  How could I know at eight years old,

  that you would be the one

  To pick me up each time I fell,

  each time I came undone

  You taught me how to love and trust

  You’re the heart that fit my key

  And now I know that all because of you;

  Fall won’t break me. . .

  ~I’ll always love you, yes I will, oh yeah

  my sweet Brody~

  I strum and strum, replaying our story over and over on a constant loop. I feel empowered and lighter with each verse I replay. With the vibration of every string, another sliver of pain is released, and replaced with images of Brody. Happiness begins to consume me. One day I will play this for him, and he’ll know just how he saved me. But right now, it’s time for Thanksgiving dinner. I hear everyone starting to gather out in the front room. I set my guitar down and rejoin my friends and family.

  THANKSGIVING DINNER IS INCREDIBLE. THERE’S something about sharing a delicious turkey dinner in the remote wilderness with your closest friends and family that makes for a very special and memorable evening. I glance around the room and take in the beauty of the holiday, working to create a lasting memory. As they watch the fluffy snowflakes gently float through the sky, the lighthearted adults are gathered around the kitchen table pointing out the window and telling stories about the crazy snowstorms they endured at the Forks during the good ole days.

  All of us kids lie in front of the crackling fire nestled together like a litter of puppies, laughing at our own jokes and stories. I use Brody as my cozy backrest while he leans against the couch. I look down to see Peyton lying across Caden’s lap, holding his hand while he twirls her hair through his fingers. Mason sits right beside me, entranced by a picture he took earlier of the boys in front of the river. It seems his mystery girl slipped into the background unnoticed. He delights in his discovery.

  As I watch the smiles, and hear the laughter, I can’t help but reflect on my many blessings. I am thankful that despite everything I’ve been through this season, I am sitting here among my family and dearest friends. I’m thankful for my parents never-ending love and support, for my brother and friends, who stuck by me and protected me, and lastly, I’m thankful for the safety and peace I’ve found in this beautiful place we call Forks of the Salmon. I hope we can carry on this tradition for many, many more years.

  I’m drawn from my state of thankful bliss when I see Mason stand and stretch, “Well, I’m stuffed. How ‘bout we take this little rendezvous outside for a bit.” He pats his full belly, throwing his head over his shoulder with several quick snaps like he’s trying to get us up and moving toward the front door.

  “Did something bite your neck? Your less than subtle twitching is creeping me out.” Caden smirks. “Kidding . . . But Dude, it’s freezing out there. I’d rather stay inside and play with my Legos.” He continues to joke with Mason.

  I’ve been watching Mason stare at that picture for ten minutes, and I know perfectly well that he is on a mission to close the distance between Country Barbie and himself. I laugh silently when desperation paints a grimace across his face as he struggles for another excuse to get outside. “I thought we might want to walk off some of that dinner. And didn’t the girls want S’mores earlier? There’s a great fire pit right outside our cabin.” Mason never was good at subtlety, but I’m quite entertained by his effort, so I keep quiet to see what he’ll come up with next.

  “There’s one right out here too!” Jenna points.

  “Ours. Is. Better!” He snarls through his clenched teeth.

  When Mason narrows his eyes at her and purses his lips, a light bulb comes on over Jenna’s head. “Oh. . . I get it.” She pokes up her index finger and shakes it next to her head. “You’re trying to get a good view of that Sexxxy girl, mmmhmm,” she drops her hands to her hips, waggles her eyebrows, and whistles a fox call.

  “It’s not going to hurt us to help him out guys. Let’s go build that fire and see if we can make something happen for our single friend,” Peyton interjects in her soft, sweet voice.

  “Okay, but bundle up kids, the snow is starting to stick,” Brody and Mason’s grandma chimes in.

  We bundle up in our Carhartt jackets, snow boots, hats, and gloves, and head down to the boys’ cabin to build a fire in the pit out front. We huddle close, trying to keep in the heat. The six of us stand in silence listening to the crackle and pop of the flames.

  Caden finally breaks the silence, “Well, this is fun. Do you guys want to actually do something? Or just stand around and stare at each other’s boots all night?”

  “We can sing campfire songs,” I suggest.

  “Or we can tell ghost stories,” Brody chuckles, as I slug him in the side and tell him to shut up.

  “I’ve got it. Let’s play Truth or Dare,” Jenna suggests.

  “Last time I played Truth or Dare, I ended up in a closet with Bethanie the Beaver. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna do that again,” Caden chuckles.

  “Oh come on, that was like seventh grade. This will be fun. Besides, there are no beavers around here.” Peyton laughs.

  “Hey, I’m a Beaver!” I raise my hand and shout out without thinking.

  “Why yes you are!” The boys start cracking up.

  “You really had to go there, didn’t you?” I drop my head and lower my hand slowly. “Not that kind of a beaver.” Boys. I roll my eyes and shake my head subtly. “Just forget I said that.”

  “Okay, okay. Enough of this business. It’s settled. We’re playing.” Jenna begins the game. “Peyton, you go first. Truth or Dare?”

  “Truth? I guess . . . at least til I see what kind of dares you guys are into.”

  “Okay, Peyton, when did you start liking Caden?”

  “That’s easy. It was sophomore year when I watched him cheering for Kaitlyn during the Sharkfest. I thought it was super cute how he got right up behind the blocks and yelled, ‘You’ve got this Sis! Make ’em eat your bubbles now . . . ’ like no one was watching. He didn’t even care if the other girls’ fans were right next to him. His support and loyalty toward Kaitlyn kinda melted my heart.”

  “Sophomore year? Wish I had’ve known. I would’ve asked you out a long time ago.” Caden smirks and puffs out his chest, “I didn’t even have all this till last summer.” He drags his hands down the front of him, running them over his abs first, and then to his thighs. He squirms in a slow fluid motion from side to side like a sidewinder, pulling in a deep, proud breath and audibly releasing it with a grin and eyebrow pump.

  “Oh, give me a break. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.” Jenna laughs, “ . . . Next question.”

  “Let me ask you one, Oh Bossy Truth or Dare Hostess,” I pipe in. “Jenna, tell me the truth about what you were doing on the computer the night of the bridge. As soon as we got up to the pool, you shut it and acted really odd.”

  “Oh, um, just reading a weird email from some guy claiming to be my Russian brother. It was the first one I got, so it kind of tripped me out a little. Since then, I’ve gotten tons of them from random people, so now I know they’re just some scam.”

  “Ohhh Jenna, be careful about that, please.”

  “Oh, I am . . . I just bounce them all to spam,” she grins and cocks her head to the side. “Let’s move along. Peyton you get to ask someone something.”

  “Okay, Mason, if you could have any wish in the world, what would it be?” />
  Mason gets quiet for a moment as a solemn look crosses his face. Without looking up, he answers, “I wish I could have my mom back.”

  The circle grows quiet, “Oh . . . mmmm . . . sorry.”

  I whisper quietly in Peyton’s ear. “Let’s drop this one.”

  “Okay, my turn,” Mason clears his throat, and in a loud voice, he works to change the subject. “Brody, truth or dare?”

  “Enough of this heavy crap. I’ll take the dare,” Brody grins.

  “Okay, I dare you to go hang off of Mule Bridge for one minute. Right out in the middle. No cheating and dangling from the side either.”

  “No problem. You guys want to come with me to make sure it’s legit?”

  “Brody, you don’t have to take that. The bridge is high, and the water is really rushing right now,” I try to convince him not to take the dare.

  “Oh girl, I’ve done this before. One minute is nothing. Come with me. You can watch.”

  We all walk down the trail to the bridge. The rocks are slick with a thin layer of fresh powder. Each time I lose my footing, I cling onto the bushes to avoid falling to the ground. Finally the trail evens out and stretches out toward our destination. I feel the unevenness of the soft wood beneath my feet as I step up onto the bridge. I turn on my phone’s flashlight so I don’t trip. Two by two, we walk across to the middle. I drag my hand across the metal rail, and feel the roughness of chipped paint beneath my fingertips. I shine the light onto the rail and see initials, hearts, and memorials scratched into the rusting, green paint. “Oh look. That’s sad. It says R.I.P ~ S.F.” I point at the scrawled goodbye to a recently lost classmate. “Oh and look there’s Sean + Holly. That’s funny. I didn’t know they came all the way over here.”

  For several minutes, we wander the bridge, reading the carvings, until we decide it’s time for Brody to get on with his dare. “You ready Bro? Be careful, the snowflakes are probably making it slick.” I say, shivering.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” he laughs. “Besides, bridges don’t scare me . . . they scare you.” He gives me a playful poke in the shoulder. “Here I go.”

  Brody swings down over the side of the bridge. I can hear him shouting, “Woo Hoo. It’s sweet down here! Cold, but sweet!”