by Ivy James
“Why did you take off? I’ve been through hell this week wondering what was going down with you.”
“I—” she started to automatically say I’m sorry but refused to apologize again “—had a business trip.”
“Uh-huh. You left because of what happened.”
“Your ego is huge, you know that? I went to buy artwork.”
“And to escape the fallout if I told Garret about what you did?”
“You wouldn’t do that.”
“What makes you so sure?”
She stared into his lion eyes and knew they both felt the same in one aspect if nothing else. “You wouldn’t hurt him that way. Just like I wouldn’t.”
“We kissed—”
“And I said I was sorry. Just leave it be.”
“I can’t. I can’t, and do you want to know why?”
No.
“Your tongue was in my mouth and you kept inching your leg higher, like you wanted to wrap it around my waist.” He eyed the paneled wood behind her. “Ever done it standing up?”
“Stop it.”
“The idea getting to you? Join the club. I’ve thought of nothing else since that day.”
She didn’t comment. She wouldn’t. He could talk all he wanted and when he was through, he’d leave. And if he so much as put a finger on her she’d scream.
With pleasure?
“How can you marry him knowing you want me?”
Her face burned. “It was a very brief moment in time. A mistake. And I’ll marry him because I care for him and it’s the right thing to do. This conversation isn’t right. Nothing about this is right.”
“You weren’t thinking it was wrong when you kissed me.”
“Would you stop saying that?” She slid sideways against the door and crossed the bedroom to get away from him but he followed her. “You’re supposed to be his best friend. Where’s your loyalty? Your honor toward Garret?”
“I guess I’m thinking that if you’re kissing me, maybe this marriage isn’t such a great idea. There’s my loyalty. Maybe I’m doing my part to keep you both from making a mistake. He hasn’t asked you, and you haven’t been pressuring him to hurry up. That doesn’t spell trouble to you? There’s still time to fix this.”
“Fix it? How could we possibly fix what we did?”
“By doing it again? If it was a fluke or—what did you call it? A mistake? Then we’ll feel nothing and there’s no reason for either one of us to be worried. Let’s try it and see.”
“That’s ridiculous.” She tried to put a wing chair between them, but Tobias snagged her arm and wouldn’t let go. Still, he didn’t attempt to follow through on his threat to kiss her again. “Let go.” She yanked her arm free, knowing full well if he’d wanted to hold on to her, he could have.
“Is that what you want? Him? Take me out of the equation. If things were all right between the two of you, you wouldn’t have kissed another guy. Admit it. Who’s to say you’re not going to go kissing someone else?”
“You know I’m not like that.”
“How’s that when you did it to me, his very best friend?” Tobias tilted his shaggy head to one side. “That mean desire got the best of you?” He looked extremely pleased by the thought.
“It shouldn’t have happened. I regret it.”
Tobias crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze narrowed on her thoughtfully. “Are you sure you regret it? That kind of passion doesn’t happen every day.”
She struggled to focus, her hands fisting even though she’d never struck another living soul in her life. “That kind of passion leads nowhere and I won’t be a part of it again.” The moment the words were out of her mouth she knew she’d said too much.
“This is getting interesting. Again, huh? Who was he?”
“Leave. Now.”
Once more he stopped her and kept her close. “Does Garret know about the guy or are you keeping him a secret, too?”
“It was a long time ago.”
“He doesn’t know, then.”
“He knows I was with someone.”
“What happened?”
“I fell in lust and thought it was love. End of story. Surprised?”
“That you could experience lust? No, you’re a very passionate woman.”
Garret didn’t think so. She saw it in his eyes whenever they were together. Sometimes she’d been able to get into things and enjoy the closeness, but lately…
Tobias stepped forward, lifted his hand and smoothed his knuckles along her cheek. “Jocelyn? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of feeling too much? Is that it?”
“I’m not discussing this with you.”
“Why not? Obviously you can’t discuss it with Garret. Tell me.”
“Fine. You want to know? I don’t trust blazing, gotta-have-you-now desire. It’s pure lust and it means next to nothing. I had that and I got burned.”
“How?”
“He used me for money and when I couldn’t give him any more to fund his art, he left. End of story. Are you happy now?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “So you’re going to marry Garret because he doesn’t make you burn?”
Why wouldn’t he just shut up?
“I don’t like the thought of you getting hurt because some ass used you and abused you. But I’m not him. I don’t want your money, and I’m man enough to know something special when I see it. When I feel it. That kiss—”
“Was nothing. Just like I had before. What about the guilt and pain we’d feel? What about decency? What about Garret?”
“He’s a man, not a little boy. The question is, are you a woman or a little girl playing at being an adult? You only get one life, Jocelyn. You either live it or you drag yourself through it. I love Garret like a brother, but the two of you are not married. You’re not even engaged. You have time to fix the mistake by ending this before it gets worse.”
“You don’t care that it would hurt him? Humiliate him? We’ve been together three years.”
“Garret is going to hurt a lot worse when you finally realize second best isn’t good enough. You think he won’t feel that? Living with you every day? Men aren’t as stupid as women think.”
“Garret and I are fine.”
“Keep lyin’ to yourself, honey. But we both know differently, don’t we?” His yellow-gold eyes were hooded, darkened by thoughts she could easily read. Why? Why did she feel this way toward Garret’s friend? Toward anyone else? Garret had supported her dreams, been faithful and kind. Loyal. He deserved more than to have her behaving like this or having this discussion at all.
She could be happy with Garret. Would be happier if Tobias—What? Stayed away? So now she was going to turn into her father? “Sex isn’t everything. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. There are a million and one reasons why we’d never work. Even if Garret and I split up, I wouldn’t be comfortable dating his best friend. What kind of woman does that?” Her father would never approve.
You’re nearly thirty years old; why do you need Daddy’s approval?
“Garret and I make a wonderful couple. We’re friends. We complement each other very well, what with our backgrounds and—” She broke off abruptly, not wanting to hurt Tobias but managing to anyway. She saw it in his eyes, the sudden stillness in him.
“Your backgrounds and upbringing in Beauty’s elite?” His face turned into a mask of disdain. “I’m just the maid’s son, is that it? Someone to play around with and tease when you’re bored but not to be taken seriously?”
“Tobias, please, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant—”
“I know which damn fork to use, Jocelyn.” He smirked. “One of the perks of being the housekeeper’s son is that you pick up on things like that.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
Tobias swung his leg over the sill, pausing long enough to say, “You didn’t. You insult yourself by not seeing what you could have if you were brave enough to stand up to your old man
and Garret instead of floating along afraid of your own shadow.”
He was gone in a flash. One minute he sat on the edge of the sill and the next she saw him slip over the side of the roof out of sight.
Her shoulders sagged. Shaken, she closed the window and locked it. Pulled the drapes so that her room looked the same as it had before he’d arrived. He was crazy. Everything Tobias had said was just crazy. Garret was her future.
Not his best friend.
Chapter 18
DR. CLYDE FROWNED at Darcy after looking over the contents of the file folder in her hand. “Darcy, I’d hoped things would change since I saw you last, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to get strict here and put my foot down. You are not to travel alone, much less finish this move by yourself.” The woman pulled off her reading glasses and gave Darcy a regretful stare. “Your blood pressure is still up and those cramps we talked about probably are some strong Braxton-Hicks contractions. But the fact they’re not ending concerns me. I don’t want you taking off and going anywhere without a traveling companion.”
Darcy tried to unglue her tongue from the roof of her mouth. “But—my blood pressure is probably just up because of stress.” And Garret’s kiss. She’d had the hardest time forcing herself back into the kitchen to help Rosetta clean up and she’d caught the older woman looking at her suspiciously more than once. After the dishes were done, she’d claimed exhaustion and locked herself in her room, somehow managing to avoid the subject of her mother’s call. Thank God the woman didn’t pry. “I’m fine,” she told the doctor. “I feel a lot better since I’ve rested.”
“Stress is another thing you must get under control. Even with all that you’re facing. If you don’t, your problems are going to get worse. Stress manifests in health issues, and we can’t have that with this baby. Surely you have someone who can fly down and drive you home to Indiana?”
“There’s only me and my mom, but she can’t come. Actually, I’m not sure I’m going to move to Indiana now.” She had the week until her car was repaired to figure it out. Not much time in the scheme of things. Was she seriously thinking of driving off on her own after what Dr. Clyde said? What about being responsible?
“You aren’t going to stay with her?”
Feeling the doctor’s censure, she shook her head, unwilling to part with more humiliating details. She could only imagine what the doctor thought of her situation. For all intents and purposes, she was homeless. Dr. Clyde wouldn’t report her or believe her unable to take care of her baby, would she?
“Darcy, look at me.” The doctor waited for her to obey. “Your baby doesn’t need a lot of expensive toys or gadgets. But it does need you to be as healthy as possible. You need to establish roots and quickly. Getting settled and having plans for the future should bring your blood pressure down. I’m going to be blunt and give you advice you probably don’t want to hear. I think you need to rent a place in Beauty and stay until after the baby arrives. I don’t think we need to put you on Brethine yet, but if the low-grade cramping turns into more, I want you here immediately.” She patted her hand. “I don’t want you to be alone and I hope you feel you can trust me to help you through this. I’ll do as much as I can for you to make sure you and your baby are okay.”
“Thank you.” Darcy struggled to keep her emotions under control. The past twenty-four hours seemed surreal. Her mother, Garret and his horror over the kiss. This. Dr. Clyde’s advice was sound. She had to find her own place. No way could she stay with Rosetta until the baby was born. And Garret? Would he feel strange visiting her now? Probably so if his reaction last night was anything to go by. But her car wasn’t ready yet, and she couldn’t leave or move without it.
“We’ll need to set up weekly appointments from here on out, but come before then if you experience any changes or problems. Go back to where you’re staying until your car is repaired, prop your feet up. Check out the apartment rentals in the paper, and get some rest. Doctor’s orders.” She ripped off the diagnosis sheet and handed it to Darcy. “I’ll see you in a week.”
Outside the office, Darcy put one foot in front of the other. What now? Stuck on that highway that night, she’d prayed for a miracle and received a series of disasters instead. The knot in her stomach grew to monstrous proportions and she ducked into the ladies’ room. The panic grew larger, more strangling. She had limited funds. Maybe Nick would let her stay in the massage room at the gym until she got some money together. Surely there was a locker room. An office? Sleeping on a couch would be fine. The gym had showers.
Darcy left the restroom and rode the elevator, ignoring the curious looks from the smocked nurses and orderlies because no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t stop biting her lips and twisting her fingers into pretzels. What was she going to do? Why had she kissed Garret? If they hadn’t shared that kiss everything would be normal between them now. She’d feel comfortable staying at Rosetta’s until she found an apartment, her conscience clear. But not now.
Darcy left the elevator and turned the corner only to hesitate beside the foliage of a ten-foot ficus tree, her gaze locking on Ethan and Garret standing about four feet away arguing, if the expressions on their faces were anything to go by. Stepping closer but remaining behind the tree, she listened.
“Darcy is nice, okay? She’s great, but do you know how long I’ve waited for the chief of surgery to retire? I planned to toss my hat into the ring officially, but when I went in to talk to Harry, I couldn’t get a word in because Harry was on a rampage about you and how you’ve betrayed Joss by having an affair this week while she was gone.”
Garret ran a hand over his face. “Didn’t you explain?”
“I didn’t get the chance. Garret, you’ve gotta fix this and do it quickly. Propose to Joss as planned, put the ring on her finger and make it official so Harry will calm down.”
Darcy caught her breath. Propose? As planned? They were that involved? But Garret had kissed her and—It meant nothing. He’d regretted kissing her, said he was sorry. She was the one who’d thought that maybe it wasn’t such a mistake. That friends could become more.
“When I propose to Joss, it won’t be because Darcy needed a place to stay and Harry’s using it to his advantage to force my hand.”
When, not if. The ache in her back increased and Darcy lifted her hand to rub it. The movement drew Garret’s attention and she smothered a groan, but managed a shaky smile. “Good morning.”
Ethan swung to face her. “How long were you standing there?” His expression softened into one of doctorlike compassion. “You weren’t meant to hear that, Darcy. This isn’t your fault.”
“Don’t. I’m glad I know what’s going on. And I’m sorry for causing you both trouble.”
“You’re no trouble. Everything is fine,” Garret insisted.
“Yeah, once Garret explains the situation to his boss, it will all blow over. It’s the old-fashioned mind-set around here, that’s all.”
“It might be old-fashioned, but I guarantee your family isn’t any happier about this than I am.”
Darcy jumped at the sound of the deep, angry voice, and turned to face the man it belonged to. Garret’s boss? He had three chins, a rounded stomach way bigger than hers and wore a brown suit, overcoat and brown hat with a two-inch band of black piping at the base of the brim. The man regarded her with an uncompromising stare, his gaze sweeping over her and lingering on her belly before shooting back to her face.
“Darcy, this is my boss, Mr. Pierson. Harry, Ms. Darcy Rhodes.”
“I can’t say that I’m happy to make your acquaintance.”
“Harry—”
“I do not appreciate the situation you’ve forced upon Garret or this hospital.”
“She didn’t force anything.” Garret glanced at her, his moss-green eyes soft with regret.
Harold released a loud harrumph. “You’re a brilliant man, Garret. I’d never have guessed you’d fall for some money-hungry bed-hopper’s tricks.”
“That is enough. Harry, I know why you’re upset, but you have no reason to be.”
Ethan moved so that he stood beside her. “I agree. You’re insulting Darcy and Garret both—not to mention Joss—by suggesting something more happened than us simply giving a stranded, pregnant woman a roof over her head in the midst of a natural disaster. What kind of image would it have set if two of the hospital’s employees had turned their backs on her?”
“Lending a helping hand is one thing, but it did not have to involve her sleeping in the same house—or visiting her every night this past week.”
She should’ve known people were gossiping about them. How could she have forgotten that about small towns? In Miami no one knew or cared what went on with the neighbors unless the police showed up. But Beauty was even smaller than her hometown in Indiana, and everyone had known everything happening with her mother there. Thank goodness the kiss hadn’t taken place outside the condo door.
The argument continued. People—hospital employees and visitors alike—gawked as they walked by. The pain in her back caused the muscles on her sides to ache, and she rubbed her stomach in rhythmic motions when the latest cramp grew stronger.
No. No, she wasn’t doing this again. It was stress. She had to calm down and the pains would go away. Everything would be fine as soon as she could get away from them all, even Rosetta. She needed to retrieve her things from the condo and find a cheap room somewhere and lick her wounds in private.
Desperate to sit down, she spotted a bench nearby and lowered herself to the seat, earning a frowning look of concern from Garret. “Just resting. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Ethan murmured. “You’re having contractions again, aren’t you?”
She moved her head calmly back and forth. She was not their problem, not anymore. “I’m fine.” But maybe she should go back upstairs. Things were getting a little…intense.
“Of course she’s fine,” Harry added. “Don’t think a little playacting on her part is going to change the subject, Garret. You owe me and my daughter an explanation and an apology. How dare you treat Jocelyn this way?”