“Colton, hey.” My son smiles widely running up to Colton holding his hand up for a fist bump. It makes my heart ache and swell all at once that Carter and Colton have become close.
“Hey, buddy. You having fun?” Colton asks just as Veronica comes running up to us out of breath.
She looks like she’s huffing for air. “Carter you shouldn’t run off on grandma like that,” she says and signs, until her eyes meet the sight of Colton standing with us, and her eyes bug out of her sockets. Her lips are moving, but she doesn’t make any sense which tells me she must be mumbling something and who knows what. I’m pretty sure the last time she saw a live version of Colton he was five.
I have to try to smooth over her awkward behavior, so I take a step forward and again hope my voice is leveled. “Veronica. This is Colton,” I say, introducing her as if she wouldn’t know her freaking son. My heart beats at a staccato in my chest, and I feel like I want to pass out. Veronica seems to be a shaky mess too. Her hands are flailing in front of her before she wraps them around her middle like she’s trying to protect herself or maybe disappear into thin air.
Colton gives her a curious look like maybe she isn’t well and doesn’t want to draw too much attention to the fact. I just want to take my son and run anywhere but here.
“Nice to meet you,” I see her mutter. I can only imagine what she sounds like.
“And this is Jake, Carter’s dad,” I motion to Jake and sign, needing to draw the attention away from Veronica who isn’t much of an actress at the moment, even though it had been her dream to become one a lifetime ago.
Jake gives Colton a warm smile and extends a hand, nodding his head since he doesn’t like to use his voice.
Colton eyes Jake warily. I see the questions dancing in his eyes as he wonders if I told him the truth about why Jake and I were holding hands.
When they break their handshake, Jake signs for me to say that I should tell Colton he has nothing to worry about. That he was just trying to console me since I was sad. I give Jake a loving grin. And I go on to deliver the message.
“Thanks for clarifying that. I appreciate it.” Colton’s hardened demeanor softens as he gives Jake a small smirk. I relay the message to Jake through ASL.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Veronica says. “We should get going. We have our reservation…Carter is looking forward,” she says, and I know it’s her way of getting us away from Colton and this more than awkward situation. I go along with her story as my need to flee is heightened. My heart is hammering too fast in my chest, and I fear fainting.
“Colton, can we talk later? We have plans,” I explain, feeling my stomach sink. He deserves so much more of an explanation from me. Hell, he deserves an invitation to eat out with us. Only I can’t do that because the whole situation is too overwhelming. I’m just relieved that Carter doesn’t cut in or call out that there is no actual reservation.
“Um, yeah… sure okay,” Colton says with both hands tucked into the front pockets of his khakis. “You’ll text me later?” he asks looking at me with a hopeful gleam in his eyes and all I can think is that I’m a fraud. A horrible terrible no good fraud. I’ve lied to this good-looking, powerful man that doesn’t open his heart, but opened it to me.
I nod and lean up to give him a kiss on the cheek, and his face lightens. My heart skips a beat from the scent of his cologne and the mere contact of touching him. “Bye Colton,” I whisper close to his ear. This needs to be goodbye because our situation is too complicated. Our relationship was doomed from the start.
“Yeah,” he says, and his mood is somber almost like he can read my mind. “Nice meeting you all. Stay cool, Carter.” He gives my son a high five and turns to look at me one more time. His gaze is too much, filled with emotion that pierces right through me. As much as I want to reach out to him, I can’t. Not now. Veronica just acted like there was something very wrong with her. Jake is eyeing his mother like she’s lost it and me carrying this burden of truth is just too much to handle.
I motion for Carter to follow me. Veronica immediately signs, “Let’s go.” Veronica, Jake, Carter and myself walk away from the Navy Pier like the cops are after us. Jake and Carter are asking continuously what’s wrong. Veronica doesn’t say anything, so I opt to keep my mouth shut too.
When we reach the street, I tell Jake and Veronica that Carter and I will catch an Uber home.
“But Grandma said we were going for pizza.” Carter pushes out his lower lip. I guess he must sound whiny.
“Sorry, not tonight.” Veronica smiles and pats his head. “Grandma is a little under the weather. I’ll take you for pizza soon.”
Carter scrunches his brows together and makes an adorable, but angry face. He usually uses that look to get his way with me. To his credit, I have a hard time saying no in general to him. He’s a good kid. “Fine, we can order in,” I concede. “Please let’s just go home,” I say, and it doesn’t fly past me that me and Veronica are only using words, and not signing which means we have left Jake out of the conversation. He is going to have some choice words for his mother very soon, and I’d rather not be around when that happens.
I reach over to hug Jake. “I’ll text you later,” I motion to him.
“You better because I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and my mother but I want answers,” he signs abruptly. I wince. I was expecting that. I don’t know what Veronica is going to do, but I’m leaving the ball in her court.
Veronica gives me a terrified look. I lean in and give her a hug and whisper, “Good luck,” in her ear. She gives me a knowing look. Then I take my son by the hand and walk two blocks needing the distance before I call the Uber car.
“Mom, what’s going on?”
“Nothing honey, don’t worry about it. Everything is going to be fine.” I give my son a strong hug holding him close to my heart. As I say the words, I want to believe them, but I know things aren’t going to be fine. They are going to blow up, and I don’t know how we are all going to deal with the repercussions of what they mean.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Evie
It’s past midnight, and I haven’t heard from Jake or Colton. Colton probably thought that I have a nutty family, which isn’t the end of the world. I do wish he would have made contact tonight as I don’t know what to do about us, but knowing that he’s making an announcement soon makes me feel like I’ll lose him forever.
And Jake, poor Jake. He’s been lied to his entire life by his mother. The one person that should have never lied to him even though she did it to protect him. I guess Veronica told him the truth. I don’t think there was any way for her to get out of it, which makes me wonder why Jake hasn’t made contact. Maybe he hates me for knowing the truth and not telling him. Maybe he hates me for falling in love with his older brother.
Unable to call him I settle for a text message instead.
Where are you? I’m worried.
Not a moment later, the red light at the entrance to my house flashes indicating there is someone at my door. My immediate response is alarm thinking there is some creepy stranger by my door late at night, but then I receive another message.
Open. It’s me.
Relief washes over me. He came to me. He doesn’t hate me. I can be there for him. Everything will be okay. Many thoughts scroll through my mind as I make my way to the front door in an oversized New York T-shirt that hits just above my knees. Jake and I went to New York just before we started college. It was a great trip. This T-shirt is all scraggly and old, but it reminds me of good times.
I open the door and wave him in. If I was feeling relief a moment ago, I’m now drowned with worry. By the sway in Jake’s walk, he must be very drunk and he isn’t much of a drinker.
“What’s going on?” I sign, needing to figure out exactly what he knows.
He laughs. I’m not sure about his volume; maybe he’s completely quiet. But I swat him in the chest and tell him to keep it down because Carter is sleeping. Besid
es, I don’t need him to see his father falling all over the place like a fool.
He signs, “I was waiting outside. Not sure I should come in. Then you texted,” he says and holds onto the wall at the entrance to my kitchen.
“I should get you water.”
“No, I don’t want water. It’s funny, but I like being drunk right now. It’s better than feeling the pain of learning that I wasn’t a test tube baby. That I had a father that didn’t want a deaf child,” he finishes and stumbles his way in the dark to the couch in my family room. My heart beats fast as I worry that he’ll fall or break something along the way, and I will need to explain to Carter why his father is a drunk mess.
I follow him, then take his hand. He looks back at me with tear filled eyes and my floodgates open as I pull him into me to hug him. I hate this for him. I hate it for anyone. No one should feel rejected by a parent. Parents should be all accepting. I pull away.
“I’m so sorry, Jake.” I allow my hands to drop, then sign.
He nods his head, and his lips twist leaving me confused. “I didn’t expect you of all people to keep such a secret from me. I thought we had no secrets,” he signs.
“We don’t have secrets. That wasn’t my secret to tell. It was your mother’s. She made me promise. Besides I would never do anything to put you or Carter in danger.”
He waves me off and almost loses his balance as he stands from the couch. I take his hand and pull him back. He falls back into the couch the softness of the cushions breaking his fall. He turns to look at me, and he picks up my hand. I’m confused because his face twists.
“My older brother, huh? I apparently am damaged goods. Is that why I’m not good enough? Yet the great Colton Mathis…you fall in love with him in what, like three weeks?” His question just about guts me. The way he signed those words, like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders, lets me know he’d given that statement a lot of thought.
“Jake, what are you talking about?” I sign at a loss.
“Don’t act all like you don’t know, Evie. I’ve been in love with you since high school, but I settled on being your best friend. I’ve done everything to ensure your happiness and what? Am I not good-looking enough, not kind enough…” he signs with such abrupt actions, and I feel so overwhelmed, like I may faint.
“Jake, stop, where is this coming from?” I shoot up from the couch feeling antsy and pace a moment before returning my attention to him. “What are you talking about? Is this the alcohol talking?” I ask because I’m at a loss. There is no way Jake spent the last fifteen years secretly in love with me.
He shoots up from the couch then stalks away from me before spinning back around. I’m getting dizzy just watching his abrupt actions. “Is that what you need to believe?” he signs, only I see his lips moving. He’s talking. Jake doesn’t do talking.
“Jake.” I feel completely helpless.
“You don’t know what to do, do you?” he says, and he closes the space between us, and suddenly he’s kissing me. I taste the vodka and maybe something else on his breath. His tongue slides into my mouth, and I don’t know what to do, this is Jake. I love him, just not in that way. Before I register what to do I’m pressing his shoulders away from me.
“Not good enough, huh?” he signs, and I see the hurt in his glare when he looks back at me. It makes me think of all the times I told him about dates I was going on. Yes, he was protective, but he always gave me a reason why they weren’t good enough for me, and I, like a fool, didn’t read between the lines. Shit, I felt stupid, like a grade A asshole. “I’m sick of this,” he suddenly snaps his hands in the air. He turns toward the front door and stalks off. I run after him and just as he turns the knob getting ready to leave, I force him to look at me.
“Stay, sleep it off,” I urge. I can’t let him wander the streets in his current state.
“Why? What the hell for? This feels too good, Evie. I get to say and do what’s on my mind. I’ve put my life on hold for too long. I’ve had enough. This deaf man is going to do whatever the hell he wants,” he signs then taps his chest and nods his head, then he stalks out the door. I don’t know what he’s talking about. I think the alcohol has completely blurred his senses.
I can’t go to sleep now, so I pour myself a glass of water and sit at my kitchen table in the dark. My life feels like a colossal disaster. How did I not know that Jake was in love with me? I think back to his reaction when I told him I was pregnant. He was happy, supportive. He was hoping we could be a family. How could everything be so messed up now? How many times have I thought - if only I loved Jake, life would be less complicated. My son would have his mother and father under one roof. Problem is we can’t control who we love. As I think of the hurt in the depths of Jake’s soulful eyes, I think about my feelings for Colton, and a cold shiver runs through my body leaving goosebumps in its track. Jake has never looked at me like that before; it makes me feel so empty, stupid, hurt like I should have known, like I took his kind nature for granted.
I walk back to my bedroom and without thinking I pick up my phone and text Colton. I know it’s a selfish move, but my world has been turned upside down.
I need you
I text the three words and press send. There is no taking them back now.
I wait one minute, two, five, ten and there is no reply. Maybe he’s had enough of me too. He put his heart on the line, and I rejected him. If I truly loved him, I should’ve stood up and supported him. When he told me his plans, I should’ve said I’ll be there beside you always. Only I didn’t do that and maybe that goodbye at the Navy Pier today was our last goodbye.
I slide under the blankets and stare into space wondering why my life is always so colossally fucked up. I stare out the window in my bedroom into the midnight blue sky to the yellow stars sparkling in the dark. A star stands out from the rest, and I look at it and make a wish. I used to do that when I was little, hoping my wishes would bring my mother back to me. Only those wishes never came true.
Suddenly my phone lights up. It’s a text from Colton. I take a breath feeling like I was holding it since I sent him that message of I need you. I don’t like to feel vulnerable. I like to behave strong so that I can handle life’s kicks and punches. Being a single mom made me want to keep an armor up around me but those three words…I need you…they dissolved the armor, they say I don’t want to be alone anymore.
I’m at your door.
Four words that put the broken pieces of my world back together. I flip my sheets off me and charge toward the door. I can’t unlock it fast enough, and when I do, I see the man who takes my breath away. He’s standing in a suit. The top buttons of his dress shirt undone. A tie slung around his neck and his suit jacket hanging open. His usually electric blue eyes look tired yet when they gaze at me hot and wanting I feel that simmer ignite between my legs.
“Hey, I just finished up a meeting with Al. The press conference is tomorrow,” he pauses and looks at his watch. “Scratch that. Today.” His lips quirk up into a wry smile. Before he can say another word, I lunge toward him wrapping my arms around his neck. I’m drowning, and I need Colton to stay afloat. I press my lips to his, and he doesn’t hesitate as he wraps both of his very strong arms around me and pulls me close to him. Our kiss is hungry, needy and tells me that he’s missed me as much as I missed him. He walks me into my apartment, and I pull away from him. Both of us are panting from need and lack of air.
“We should go to the bedroom,” I say.
He eyes me curiously like I’ve just asked him a trivia question. “Isn’t Carter here tonight?”
“He is, and I want you in my bed,” I say since he needs the confirmation.
His gaze drops to my breasts. “Nice shirt.” He’s unusually playful or maybe he’s being hard to get after I pushed him away. Whatever angles he’s playing I’m so turned on I feel like I can combust.
My nipples peek through the thin fabric of my nightshirt, and his gaze drops to my chest. His eye
s turn to molten lava and his nostrils flare. It’s so freaking sexy on him.
He holds up a finger like he knows I want to lunge at him again. “Just to confirm I understood you…Carter is here, and I can spend the night in your bed,” he says, but I’m sure it’s a question.
“When we first started dating I didn’t want to give my son the wrong impression with having you stay over,” I whisper. “Now I want you in our lives. I want us to be serious about each other. I’m okay with Carter knowing I love you, that I want to be with you,” I say, and I don’t know if it’s because Jake knows the truth, but I felt desperate right now, and terrified about losing this man, the only man I’ve ever truly loved.
“I love you, Evie,” he says, and then stalks toward me sweeping me off my feet. He carries me to my bedroom and kicks the door closed. Then he places me softly on my pillow. “You have no idea how much I missed you,” he says as he works the buttons on his dress shirt. I lie back on the bed and watch him. This gorgeous man, who wants me, loves me, for who I am. His shirt slides off his shoulders along with the tie, revealing his chiseled chest and strong arms. He gets to work on his trousers unbuttoning and unzipping them before pulling them off. When he removes his boxers, I stare at his fully erect cock and saliva pools in my mouth. I swallow hard as my belly clenches at the thought of him putting his dick inside me and the way he feels when he moves in and out of me. As he walks toward the bed, I slip off my nightshirt and feel a cool breeze against my skin. That problem is rectified as Colton moves on the bed and covers my body with his. In bed, we don’t need words to communicate, our bodies say everything that we are feeling. With the warmth of his body over mine, we begin to kiss. His tongue moves in harmony with mine, our bodies pressed together. His cock moves between my legs teasing me.
He stops to look at me “You feel so wet, so good.”
I press my hips up needing to feel his silky-smooth cock against my folds.
Mr. All Wrong Page 19