“If you want me, I won’t make you wait.” He smiles devilishly.
“I want you,” I sigh.
With one swift movement, he slides inside me. My head tilts back, and my mouth hangs open as he begins to move inside me. He feels so good, hitting all the right spots as he moves in and out of me at a steady pace. I wrap my arms around his broad back and tilt my hips, so I’m meeting him thrust for hungry thrust. Tonight, our lovemaking isn’t about commands or domination; it’s about two people who love each other coming together as equals. And I love this about Colton, how he can go from being a dirty lover to being a sweet lover. He’s everything that I need and all that I’ve ever wanted. Colton makes love to me sweetly all night until the sun rises. And in the light of day, I only pray that I don’t lose this man.
“Tell me what it was like growing up in California?” he asks, running his hand slowly up and down my arm in a sweet caress.
“Well, there was the beach close by, that was always nice,” I answer, knowing he wants more. The problem I was having was giving him more, opening up, and speaking of my childhood wasn’t easy. Who wanted to reopen a gaping wound? Feeling the burn slice through your skin again? No one wants to do that yet he needs to know me, and I wanted him to know that part of me.
“Evie, come on.” He gives me a look that says he wants more information.
“Okay,” I inhale a long breath. “Grandpa Jack worked in a bottle making company. He was up at the crack of dawn. That meant I made my breakfast and lunches. Grandpa Jack taught me how to make everything for when I was on my own.”
“What did you make for breakfast?” he asks, looking at me intently.
“Geez! You want a lot of detail,” I answered with sarcasm. I found his interest to be endearing. No one ever really wanted to get to know me inside out the way Colton does.
“Nothing too exciting…Captain Crunch, Fruit Loops, Sugar Crisp. Whatever sugary cereal Grandpa would pick up that week. Lunch was ham and cheese, and when we ran out of ham then just a regular old cheese sandwich. Grandpa wasn’t a rich man. He injured his leg in the war. By the time I came to live with him, he was in his late fifties, tired ,and burned out. I think he saw his retirement on the horizon and then he took me in. Taking care of me was an extra expense. He continued to work, he didn’t complain though, he was always kind, but he was also old fashioned. My father’s mother raised my father. She had done all the traditional stuff, so Grandpa Jack was clued out. I mean totally useless, so I quickly learned to do our laundry and clean our apartment,” I explained. “My childhood wasn’t filled with exciting times. I matured early because of life circumstances. My teachers always told me that I was a little adult, but it wasn’t by choice. I did those things to get by,” I explained, and Colton suddenly seemed withdrawn.
Then he snapped out of his trance. “I’m sorry, that sounds tough. I mean you must think I’m a spoiled brat.” He grinned, but his grin bled the self-deprecation he felt.
“You’re a good man, Colton. It isn’t a curse to be born into a rich family, though most of us aren’t.” I caressed his jawline and enjoyed the prickly feeling of his five o’clock shadow.
“And what about Jake and Veronica? When did they enter the picture?”
I smile remembering the first day I met Jake. “We were well into our freshman year. We were both attending a school for the deaf. Grandpa was already in his mid-sixties. If he was tired when I landed on his doorstep, then he was ready just to kick back and enjoy life when I got to high school. The bottling company provided him with a modest retirement package, but again it wasn’t enough to sustain the two of us. I wanted to get a job, but given I was only fifteen, I knew it would be hard to find something. I went to the guidance counselor’s office at school one day. I was holding a stack of books in front of me because my backpack had just given out and the strap ripped. Jake didn’t see me rounding the corner and slammed right into me. My books fell to the floor. Jake helped me pick them up and introduced himself. We got to talking…well you know communicating, and it turned out he and his mom lived only a few blocks away from Grandpa Jack and me.
“He invited me to dinner to make up for slamming into me. I agreed. I fell in love with Veronica instantly, she was warm and welcoming. I ached for a mother figure for so long, and Veronica slipped into the role seamlessly. Grandpa Jack had always been a man of few words, and so life at home was always very quiet. Once I met Jake, I hung out at his house all the time. Veronica was fun and young. She gave me advice about boys…”
“And what about Jake? I mean I would think at the very least, he had a crush on you. Did you guys never get together?” Colton asked, his forehead creased and his cool blue eyes etched with worry. It made my stomach sink thinking of Jake’s confession to me earlier tonight. I didn’t see a purpose in sharing it with Colton. Nothing was going to materialize because of it.
“No, I mean in high school we didn’t. I had boyfriends, and he had girlfriends, then when it came time to apply to college, Jake decided he wanted to attend a regular college with an interpreter. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was just scared of losing Jake and Veronica. Jake wanted to go to a college on the east coast, so that’s where we went. Veronica was in love with California, so she stayed behind,” I explained, noticing Colton’s lips pressed together into a thin line. “What is it?” I asked, caressing his strong hands. They were big manly hands, but they felt smooth not needing to do any manual labor.
“Veronica, she…how do I put this nicely? I mean you seem to look up to her…it’s just that she was acting…” he paused.
“Wacky?” I finished the sentence for him. If I was going to cover up the secret, I needed to downplay, or at least make fun of Veronica’s strange behavior at the Navy Pier yesterday.
“I guess you could say that,” he confirmed.
“I think Veronica hoped Jake and I would eventually end up together. I don’t think she likes the fact that you and me got close, so fast. It’s making her nervous. She isn’t always so flaky, I promise. You caught her on a bad day,” I finish the sentence as I stare square into his aqua blue eyes, lying to him, I hate myself in this moment, although what I said was only a partial lie.
“Carter’s got Veronica’s blue eyes,” Colton says out of the blue. His comment jars me. I have blue eyes, but mine are a dark blue, on some days I’m told they look grey. Veronica’s eyes are a crystal blue, a blue that seems translucent, a blue so much like Colton’s. My thoughts feel stuck in my throat, blocking my airway. I can’t continue this charade much longer if Veronica isn’t planning to tell Colton, I will have to. He’s a reasonable man. I’m sure Colton can take proper precautions to protect himself. He has security detail around most of the time anyway.
“Yes, I know,” I confirm what Colton said about Veronica’s eyes.
He pauses and seems deep in thought. Then he turns his head and presses a kiss to my forehead. When he pulls back he says, “Thank you, Evie, thank you for sharing that part of your past with me.”
I nod. “Of course.” I smile, I just can’t help the sinking feeling in my gut because as much as Colton and I are drifting together there is a very serious crater pulling us apart. Only he doesn’t know it. I have to speak with Veronica. Jake knows the truth, but I have to know if she plans on telling Colton. If she does, everything between Colton and I will change in a heartbeat.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Evie
The next morning, I can’t get to school fast enough. I drop Carter off at his before-school program and make it to my school twenty minutes before the bell. I had gotten out of bed a few times last night to text Jake, but he didn’t return any of my messages, and they all turned up only delivered not read.
Again, I found myself charging toward the gym office, the feel of my stilettos hitting the floor heavily, yet silently in my world. Jake was so drunk last night. It gutted me how heartbroken he was. He would be hungover today, and I wanted to see for myself that he was okay.
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br /> I round the gym office and immediately see one of Jake’s assistants, Bradley. I sign, asking him if Jake has come in yet. He replies that he just went to the office to check in and saw that Jake called in sick today. A substitute teacher is on their way to the gym to cover his class. My chest tightens as the need to find Jake overwhelms me. Problem is I can’t run out on my classes. Not on such short notice. I begin to walk back to my classroom when I bump into Cathy, she is a twelfth-grade philosophy teacher, who only works part-time, so she has some spare time in her schedule.
“Cathy, oh good, are you free first period?” I sign abruptly while feeling a little breathless.
She eyes me curiously. “Yes, I’m off first and second period. I came in to help out with the play third period.” She waits for my explanation.
I blow out a breath. “Can you cover my class for me? I normally would never ask, but I have a family emergency.”
She frowns. “Is everything okay with Carter?”
“Carter is fine. I just really need to go.” I wave my hands frantically trying to communicate. I don’t want to share my life secrets with her. She motions for me to be on my way and I don’t miss a heartbeat speedwalking back to my class to get my car keys. Geez! I didn’t even go over my morning schedule with her. Lucky my binders are all in order. I pull out this morning’s lessons and lay them front and center on my desk. Then I leave her a small note before taking off.
As I walk back to my car, I send Veronica a text.
Have you heard from Jake this morning?
Her reply comes almost instantly.
No, I’m terrified, Evie. He was so mad. So so mad. He didn’t come home last night. He still isn’t home. Where could he be?
By her message, I can only imagine how frantic she is.
I can only think of one place Jake would go.
I shoot a quick text to our friend Harvey. He’s a full-time lawyer who grew up with a deaf sister, Carolyn. I’m good friends with Carolyn. Jake used to hang out with us and became friends with Harvey. They were close enough that Jake would turn to him if he need be.
A moment after sending Harvey a text, the dots on my screen are rolling. I’m grateful that Harvey was replying right away.
He’s here. Don’t tell him I told you. He’s in a pissy mood.
I’m sure he wasn’t pleased. Just thinking of the look on his face last night when he confessed his feelings to me just about gutted me. I hate that I don’t return those feelings. Yet relief washes over me knowing Jake is with Harvey and not on the street. I make it to Harvey’s bachelor pad in record time since it’s just past the time where morning traffic is easing up.
Parking is a real feat in this part of town, so I pay for parking connected to a popular restaurant across the street. I also forgot to check the weather this morning. The sky is grey, and a crisp chill penetrates the thin blouse I’m wearing causing me to shiver. I walk briskly across the street, my arms folded across my chest as I make my way over to the building where Harvey lives. In the elevator, I run a few scenarios in my head about how I want to deal with Jake’s confession last night. I don’t return his feelings, but I still love him as a cherished friend. Worst of all, I fear our relationship will never be the same, that somehow over time he has become angry with me, maybe impatient. I’m terrified that I’ve ruined his pure heart by simply not seeing what was apparently right in front of me this whole time. I feel like a big idiot.
I take a few small breaths and knock on Harvey’s apartment door. It doesn’t take him long to open, and when he does, his hazel eyes turn wide like he’s shocked to see me.
“Evie, what the hell are you doing here?” he speaks and signs at the same time. I roll my eyes at Harvey. He can be a real goof sometimes. “Come on in.” He motions and I walk past Harvey into his large apartment. He has so much space. It doesn’t take long for my gaze to fall on Jake sitting on the couch leaning on his side, his hand supporting his head like he’s deep in thought.
He doesn’t look up to me when I’m standing right in front of him which makes my stomach sink. I tap his shoulder to get his attention even though I know he feels my presence hovering over him. “I was worried about you,” I sign. Harvey stands behind the couch and shrugs his shoulders. I look up to him for a moment, and he points, then mouths that he will be in his office. I’m a little more relaxed having this conversation in private. I’m not sure how much Jake shared with Harvey.
Jake looks a disheveled mess with his brown hair sticking up in different directions, his grey T-shirt has dirty spots, his jeans sit low on his waist, and he’s barefoot. “You shouldn’t be worried about me, I’m a grown man, I can take care of myself,” he answers finally, looking up to me and signing; only his eyes don’t meet mine like he can’t bear to even look at me.
“Jake, please.” I give him a sympathetic look. “No matter what, you’re my best friend, the father of my child. I can only imagine what you’re feeling,” I sign, but he stands from the couch and stalks away from me. I feel out of my element. Sure, Jake and I have had some disagreements over the years. It’s only natural given how close we are. In the past, there was anger, sorrow, and then it was over. This time Jake looks deeply hurt, his world has turned on him, and I can’t blame him for feeling the way he does. Not only did I betray his trust, but his mother and a father he never thought he had, did too. I follow him toward Harvey’s kitchen just a few steps behind. He opens the fridge and pulls out a container of lemonade. I wince thinking it must taste gross after a hangover. Jake flinches too, and our eyes finally meet. He places the carton back in the fridge, and a crooked smile splays on his lips. I don’t know why, but that simple small gesture gives me some hope.
“That’s all Harvey has, and I already puked my guts up, no more to puke,” he signs, and shrugs. At least he’s communicating with me.
I wince again and give him a sorrowful look.
“Don’t look at me like that, Evie, I was drunk. I’m sorry for kissing you last night. Don’t make it into something it isn’t,” he signs.
I get ready to sign back, but he lifts a hand. “Don’t, okay.” He blows out a breath. “I know you. You want to dissect every little thing I said. Okay…” He stops to run both hands through his unkempt hair. “I have feelings for you, is that what you want me to admit? How could I not?” he signs, and my heart stutters at his gesture. “I get it though, you don’t see me in that way. Maybe it will finally sink in, and I can move on. I don’t want there to be any bad feelings between us. It wouldn’t be good for Carter,” he signs, sounding so matter of fact like he’s given this a lot of thought. I can’t argue with him, and he’s right. What’s the point in dissecting this I don’t share his feelings?
I ram myself into him a little too harshly needing to hug him, thankful that he is such an understanding, and kind soul. “What would I do without you?” I say, but with my arms wrapped around him, I know he couldn’t hear me or see my lips. He presses his nose into my hair like he usually does when I hug him. I realize that he’s smelling my hair as if enjoying my scent. It makes the situation feel awkward. I pull away but try not to be awkward about it. Over the years I had thought of the possibility of Jake and me. How could I not? He’s handsome and kind. We get along so well. I just never felt that spark. I wanted to feel it though. I’m pretty sure that’s what happened the night we conceived Carter. We both maybe always wondered, and the alcohol gave us the courage actually to try and as special as the night was, it wasn’t earth-shattering sex. Not the way it is with Colton. Maybe if Colton never came into my life, then I wouldn’t know that kind of electricity exists. But I met Colton and fell in love. I could never just settle, and it wouldn’t be fair to Jake anyway. I only hope he finds the right woman one day to share that kind of electricity.
He gives me a guilty smile like he knows I caught him smelling my hair. “Some habits die hard. Don’t worry I’ll be fine. What I’m not fine with is you and my mother lying to me, more so my mother since she knew
the truth.”
I let out a long sigh. “I was so shocked too.” I follow Jake back to the central area of the apartment and take a seat beside him on the plush couch. I’m glad we’ve eased back into our old ways, the tension from earlier seems to have dissipated. I take a quick glance around Harvey’s apartment. It’s decorated to the nines.
“It’s nice here,” I sign.
Jake gives me a look that tells me he agrees and we both smile at each other. The moment passes, and I need to ask him how he feels about his mother’s revelation because it’s something that has been weighing heavily on me since the moment she told me.
“I just can’t believe I was born in this city, that the Mathis’ are my family. No scratch that, he didn’t want me.”
“Oh, Jake.” My heart goes out to him. “I know exactly how you’re feeling.” He gives me a look that’s filled with understanding.
“I know Evie, I know,” he signs, and he just seems so sad. Like a black cloud is hanging over us following us everywhere we go.
A moment later, Harvey comes running out of his office and signs, “You guys gotta see this,” he picks up the remote control to his TV and turns it on. Then he flips a few channels and fidgets. The subtitles come on. Colton’s face is on TV. Butterflies float in my stomach like they usually do when I see him. He’s holding the press conference he said he would. He’s wearing a dark blue suit, crisp white shirt, and red tie. His brown hair is slicked back, and he looks every bit the powerful man that he is, poised and direct. He’s giving a speech announcing that he will run for the office of the president. At the end of his speech, his lips quirked up on one side, and he gives the press what looks to me like a panty melting grin. I only wonder how many women are watching the broadcast and swooning over their candidate. He’s charming, smooth, and he wants to make a difference.
Someone asks him if the Mathis family is backing his campaign. I know they aren’t. Colton isn’t very close to them since he didn’t enter the family business and took the route of lawyer and politics instead. He smiles and answers “No, the Mathis family will not have anything to do with his campaign.” He goes on to say that he plans on running a clean campaign and wants to focus on the issues relevant to the heart and soul of the American people. A bunch of cameras go off.
Mr. All Wrong Page 20