An Unlikely Daddy

by Rachel Lee

  “Thank God.”

  She laughed as she heard the door close behind him. After a few minutes she rose and went into her bedroom to look at the crib. Soon a baby would occupy it, turning everything on end. She could hardly wait. She loved picking up the tiny little clothes her friends had given her, still finding it hard to believe they were big enough to fit a baby. Such little bits of clothing, it just didn’t seem possible.

  But her back had started to ache again, so she returned to the rocker. It wouldn’t be long now, she thought, closing her eyes and savoring both her anticipation and impatience. With each passing day, she wanted this baby more, wanted to hold her in her arms, to see the small face, hear the cries. The waiting was becoming intolerable.

  Her thoughts wandered to Johnny, and she felt a twinge of familiar guilt. He hadn’t even been gone a year. Shouldn’t she still be in the pits of grief? But somehow, despite all, she was emerging.

  Surely Johnny wouldn’t begrudge her that?

  But the guilt remained, stinging. Of course she still missed Johnny. Hated the fact that he was dead. Hated that he wouldn’t be here to see his child. Sometimes resentment swelled in her, huge and ugly.

  But he’d left her here, and she had to keep going. Originally she had done that only for the sake of their child, but now...now she needed to do it for herself, as well.

  But she’d always miss Johnny. Always. With him she had forever lost a piece of her heart. But there were pieces left, she realized. A piece for this baby. Pieces for her friend. Maybe even a piece for Ryker.

  The ache in her lower back remained. She rocked a little trying to ease it, then, with a gasp, she realized she was sitting in a puddle of water.

  Now. Now? Now.

  Half-crazed thoughts raced in her head. She picked up the phone Ryker had left beside her, wondering if she should call for an ambulance.

  Then she tapped in Ryker’s number.

  “Hey, you okay?” he answered.

  “I think my water just broke.”

  * * *

  Ryker got stopped by a cop for speeding as he raced back to the house from Freitag’s. He didn’t even wait for the deputy to reach the side of his car.

  “Marisa Hayes,” he called. “You know her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Her water just broke.”

  In an instant he had a police escort with flashing lights and sirens clearing the rest of his way. “God, I love this town,” he muttered, his hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were tight.

  They pulled up in front of the house, and the cop came inside with him. They found Marisa in her rocker sitting on a towel.

  “Ambulance?” the deputy said, ready to key his radio.

  Marisa shook her head. “I called the hospital. A ride will do. Ryker?”

  “I’ll take you.”

  “Get more towels or I’ll ruin your car.”

  Like he cared about that. But he didn’t want to upset her in the least way, so he grabbed a stack of towels and laid them on the passenger seat. The deputy remained to ensure they got safely to the car.

  “Any pains?” Ryker asked as they drove toward the hospital on the edge of town.

  “Not yet. Just a flood. Ryker...after you leave me there, call Julie. She’ll take care of everything, okay?”

  “Sure thing.” He wished he could take care of everything, but he wasn’t family. They probably wouldn’t let him anywhere near.

  God, he hated it. He had no rights with this woman or her child, and that ate away inside him along with worry.

  “Quit looking like this is the end of the world,” she said. “It’s a baby. Happens millions of times every day.”

  “Not to you. Not to me.” Something perilously close to panic was riding his shoulder.

  She laughed quietly. “I feel good. Dang, I feel good! Finally!”

  At the emergency room, they helped her into a wheelchair. She gave him her purse. “In case they need any information. And later, I have a small suitcase packed in the closet.”

  “I’ll bring it.”

  The last thing he saw was her smile and wave as they swept her away.

  He stood there feeling helpless, feeling there ought to be something he could do. Hating that he couldn’t.

  “Be all right, Marisa,” he whispered. Then he pulled out his cell phone and called the whirlwind named Julie.

  * * *

  Julie arrived fifteen minutes later, meeting him outside the ER. She walked up briskly, smiling.

  “You look awful,” she told Ryker. “Relax.”

  “I can’t,” he admitted.

  “She’ll be fine. I’m her coach, so I’ll be with her every minute. You get to join the pacing people in the waiting room. Come on up with me and we’ll get the news.”

  That was better than no news at all.

  The maternity nurse met them in the waiting room, smiling as if she had the happiest job in the world. “Just in time,” she told Julie. “Her first contractions have just started. They warned you first babies take longer, right?”

  Julie nodded. “A few of my friends have been down this road. How long do you think?”

  The nurse shrugged. “Everyone’s different. It might be as long as twenty-four hours.”

  Oh, God, Ryker thought. He’d had a lot of time lines in his life, but never had twenty-four hours looked longer.

  Julie turned to him. “Get some coffee. Go for a run. It’s going to be a long haul.”

  “Just tell someone to keep me posted.”

  The nurse regarded him. “Who’s he?”

  “Family,” Julie said, surprising him.

  “Well, then, I guess we can let you know. But don’t hold your breath. First babies take their time.”

  Locked out, left in a waiting room with an older couple who seemed to be waiting for the same thing, he decided to take Julie’s advice. A long run. Then he’d bring back some decent coffee. Maybe he could even slip one to Julie.

  As his feet pounded the pavement and icy air stung his face, he wondered how many changes he could make and how fast. Life was suddenly bearing down on him like a freight train.

  He needed to get his head straight fast.

  * * *

  Johnna Jayne Hayes was born at 12:07 a.m. on Christmas day. She arrived with one long, loud wail, and then began looking around with bright eyes as if she were delighted to see the world.

  A minute later, wrapped in blankets, Johnna was laid in Marisa’s arms. Marisa forgot everything else as she stared into that tiny face, into those incredibly piercing dark eyes. Oh, Johnny, I wish you could have seen her.

  She held her daughter, weariness washing over her in waves, accompanied by a happiness she had scarcely imagined she would find in this moment.

  If she hadn’t been so tired, she was sure her heart would have burst with joy.

  “We have to take the baby for a little while,” the nurse said, reaching for Johnna. “The pediatrician needs to check her out. We’ll move you to a recovery room. You need some sleep and then you can see her again.”

  Marisa yielded her daughter only reluctantly. She understood the reasons, but she didn’t want to let go. A crazy fear filled her that something bad would happen while the baby was out of her sight.

  But even in her weariness she knew that was just a flash from the past. Johnna would receive excellent care; she knew almost everyone who worked here and trusted them. Julie, who had coached her all the way through, sagged against the bed.

  “I need some sleep, hon.”

  “Go home. You were wonderful.”

  Julie bent over her and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “You get some sleep, too.”

  “Ryker?”

  “Pacing like a cag
ed lion. You want to see him?”

  “Please.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  The fatigue hit Marisa then, and she barely remembered being trundled down the hall and moved to a new bed. Her baby was here, she thought as sleep claimed her.

  The world seemed right again for the first time since she got the news.

  * * *

  She awoke later from the deepest of sleeps with no idea of the time. She turned her head a bit and saw Ryker dozing in a chair beside the bed, his eyes closed, his chin propped in his hand.

  He must have heard something, because his eyes popped open. “Welcome back,” he said, smiling. “By all accounts, you did very well.”

  “My baby?”

  “They won’t tell me a lot except that she’s perfectly healthy. Oh, and they’re going to move you to a regular room soon, and you can have her in a bassinet beside you until they release you.”

  Instinctively, she reached out a hand, wincing a little as the IV moved. He caught her fingers gently, still smiling, and leaned in to press a kiss on her lips.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked softly as he pulled back.

  “Exhausted but so very happy.”

  “Me, too. They let me see her through the nursery window. She’s perfect, Marisa, and she looks a lot like both you and John.”

  A tired laugh escaped her. “How can anyone tell that this soon?”

  “It shows.” He winked.

  She drank him in, thinking she’d never seen him look more rumpled. He looked like he’d gone through a worse time than she had. Maybe so.

  A nurse bustled in, throwing Ryker out for a few minutes. “I need to examine her,” she explained.

  Afterward, the nurse assured her everything was fine, and she’d be moved to a proper room in the next few minutes.

  “And my baby?”

  “Right behind you,” the nurse promised.

  Ryker followed her down the hallway to the regular room and then was evicted once again. “Go home, rest, clean up,” the woman said. “Marisa needs her rest. Come back in the morning.”

  Marisa wanted to protest, but Ryker nodded, promised to return first thing in the morning and departed meekly enough.

  Marisa watched him walk away and thought that didn’t seem fair at all. Mostly, she already missed him.

  * * *

  In the morning, Marisa chose to sit up in a comfortable chair while she nursed Jonni. She was hungry and eager, and Marisa watched her continuously, hardly removing her eyes from the little girl.

  Her friends showed up one after another, oohing and aahing and agreeing that Jonni was one of the most beautiful babies they’d ever seen. Marisa accepted their judgment with delight, even though she knew they’d all said the same things about their friends’ babies.

  But no Ryker. After the girls left, she sat alone with her baby in her arms and felt oddly bereft. He must have left. Certainly he’d been made to feel like an outsider.

  But just as she was about to rise and put her baby in the bassinet again, she heard his voice.

  “Good morning.”

  She looked up and saw him standing there smiling, a bouquet in his hand. He added the flowers to the ones the girls had left, then edged closer. “Can I see her? You’re looking great.”

  “I look like a hag.” She lifted one hand to try to comb her hair back.

  “No, you look beautiful.” He stepped closer, and she pulled the receiving blanket back, revealing a small, sleeping face. “Awesome,” he said quietly. “Just awesome.”

  A nurse bustled in—Mary, a woman she knew. The former sheriff’s daughter. “So this is the guy who’s been looking after you? Nice to meet you.” They shook hands and exchanged names. Then she reached into the cabinet beside the bed and tossed him a folded blue square. “You need to put a gown on before you hold her. We try to send them home healthy.” She grinned at Marisa. “It works.”

  After she buzzed out, Ryker hesitated. He gazed longingly at the baby, but she could tell he didn’t want to overstep. And the truth was, letting anyone else hold the child had been impossible so far. Not even her girlfriends.

  But something deep within her shifted. “Put on the gown and sit down, Ryker.”

  He quickly tugged it on so it covered his front and sat in the other chair. Then Marisa rose and carried Jonni to him. Surprisingly, she didn’t have to show him how to hold the infant.

  Then she returned to her chair and simply watched as a miracle seemed to happen. Ryker’s face changed, softening more than she had ever seen it. It was instant love, and she knew it.

  She sighed, closing her eyes, and realized she’d just leaped a hurdle. It was okay. Johnny’s baby in Ryker’s arms. It was as if a circle had been completed.

  “Are you tired?” he asked.

  She opened her eyes. “A little. But mostly I’m delirious with joy. Come home with us, Ryker. Will you?”

  “I never thought of doing anything else.”

  * * *

  Three weeks later, life had settled into a comfortable routine. When Jonni woke for her nighttime feedings, Ryker hopped out of bed and brought her to Marisa. Then he’d sit beside them and watch as she nursed. Afterward, he changed the diapers and walked with the baby on his shoulder, gently burping.

  “How did you learn how to do all of this?” she finally asked him.

  He smiled over Jonni’s downy head. “My sister. I was ten when she was born. I have to admit I resented being pushed to take care of her, but I learned a lot even though I tried to avoid it.”

  “Are you resenting this?” she asked.

  “I’m loving it.”

  The answer warmed her to her toes. During the days he often went out for a while, always returning with some tidbit of food. He took down the Christmas tree without her help while she sat rocking the baby, then spent a couple of hours outside in the cold taking down the lights. Everything was carefully stowed in her basement.

  But as settled as he seemed, she worried this was transitory. A man like him couldn’t be content with such a bucolic life, she was sure. Like Johnny, before long he’d be running off on his next adventure, never mind what he’d said about resigning from the agency. She didn’t really believe that, although she believed he’d meant it when he said it.

  Then late one afternoon, Julie popped over unannounced. “I’m babysitting,” she announced. “You two need to get out for a while. Take her to dinner, Ryker.”

  Ryker smiled. “Sounds good to me. Marisa?”

  She still hadn’t completely regained her shape, and even with the exercises she performed religiously she wondered if she ever would. But she managed to find a pair of slacks with a stretchy waistband and a sweater that covered her worst sins. She liked the way Ryker’s eyes devoured her with approval, but she hated knowing this was only temporary. Soon it would be just her and her daughter, and maybe an occasional Skype from some place far away.

  Life could be so unfair in some ways, but even as the feeling dampened her mood, she thought of Jonni. Life could also bring amazing joy.

  It would be all right, she promised herself. She had a new life to build with her daughter.

  The weather was about to turn bad again, and when they arrived at Maude’s the place was only half full, a rarity.

  She was ravenous these days, and even though her doctor had warned her to be careful, that, yes, she needed more food but not that much, she ordered a steak sandwich and fries. Ryker did the same.

  They talked about Jonni for a little while, but then Ryker shifted the conversation.

  “I need to go back to DC,” he said.

  Marisa’s heart plummeted. “I thought you must need to,” she answered, although she’d been dreading this moment more than she could say...or dared t
o say. She had no claim on this man. He had come only because Johnny asked him to, and for no other reason. He had a life elsewhere.

  “Only long enough to resign,” he said firmly.

  “Then what?” she asked. “Did you find something?”

  “Actually, yes. That cursed ski resort they keep trying to build?”

  “The one in the mountains here?” Her heart began to hammer nervously. He was coming back here?

  “They’re working on it again. But they’ve decided they want to lead backcountry hikes during the summer. I’ve been hired.”

  Now her mouth started to grow dry. “Really? Will you be happy with that?”

  “What I’ll be happy with is being with you on weekends all summer, and then every day in the winter.”

  She felt her jaw drop a little. “Ryker?”

  He looked down at his plate. “You know, there can’t be any place less romantic than this. There’s a storm brewing outside and a baby and Julie waiting at home. So, please, excuse me if the atmosphere is lacking, but what I’m trying to say is, if you’ll have me, I love you and want to marry you.”

  She couldn’t find her voice. Her heart had climbed into her throat, where it nearly suffocated her. She hardly dared believe what she was hearing.

  His expression turned rueful. “Guess this doesn’t make you happy.”

  She fought for a breath, knowing it was now or never. This man would vanish as soon as he took her home if she let him believe that.

  “No,” she burst out.

  His face sagged a little. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

  “Ryker, no. That’s not...not what I meant.” She dragged in another lungful of air. “God, I’d been so afraid that you’d leave me. I love you!”

  Watching his expression change was one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. A smile was born on that harsh face, and every line lifted.

  “To hell with it,” he said.

  The next thing she knew he’d slipped out of the booth and was kneeling beside her, heedless of gawkers or the sudden complete silence in the diner.

  “Marisa Hayes, will you, please, marry me?”

  “Yes,” she breathed. Then she threw her arms around his neck. “Yes, yes, yes!”