Breaking the Chain

by Golden Angel

  "Sorry," Leigh muttered.

  "Don't say sorry to me, say sorry to yourself," Dr. Montgomery said. Even though she couldn't be older than forty, the doctor really had the whole severe thing going for her. Her mouth, more often seen spread in a warm smile, was now pinched and tight, and her expression was unhappy. "Do you want to be a diabetic, Leigh?"

  "No, of course not."

  "But you already admitted that you haven't been exercising or eating as well as you should be."

  "I've gotten better..."

  "Better doesn't cut it. You need to actually eat healthier, consistently, and exercise, consistently. Ignoring these restrictions is not going to make them go away, and if you don't get your blood sugar under control you're asking for a whole lot of complications in your life in the future."

  "Right... I know. I am. I'm fixing it. I have um, a friend who's going to help me with it." At least, Leigh was pretty sure that Jared would agree to. They hadn't really talked about it even though they'd talked on the phone every night since Saturday and he'd come over Monday night for dinner and to hang out with her, Angel and Adam. That had only been slightly awkward due to Angel's occasional narrow-eyed looks at Jared, as if she was suspicious of his intentions.

  "An exercise buddy? Good. Sometimes a little bit of extra motivation or a cheerleader can work wonders." Dr. Montgomery's usual smile appeared on her face.

  "Um, right," Leigh said. Yeah, she wasn't going to be correcting the good doctor about that one. Dr. Montgomery was wonderful and had great bedside manner, but she also had a kind of starchy personality. Her brown hair was always in an impeccable bun, her glasses always looked like they'd recently been cleaned, and her white lab coat was always pristine. Everything about her screamed "vanilla" to Leigh; she couldn't even imagine what the doctor would do if Leigh told her that Jared's form of "cheerleading" and "motivation" involved spankings.

  "We'll call you in a day or two with the lab work. In the meantime, more veggies and lean meats, less starches, and exercise."

  "Yes, Ma'am," Leigh said, resisting the urge to salute. The doctor gave her a slightly amused look, as if she knew what Leigh was thinking, before letting herself out of the exam room.

  Sighing, Leigh hopped down from the exam table and stripped off the paper gown, pulling her shirt back on. Great. Just what she'd wanted to hear. Not.

  Although, of course, a part of her knew that she hadn't been taking care of herself the way that she should. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was just hard to find the time sometimes. And she was eating pretty well, really. Much better than she had when she'd been living with Michael and had been the one doing all the cooking. Angel and Adam made a lot of healthy dishes. And if her portion sizes on the pasta or rice or whatever carb they were serving that night happened to be a little larger than it perhaps should have been... well, who would it hurt?

  Except she'd known that it would hurt her and that it would come back to bite her in the ass.

  It just sucked. She shouldn't be having to deal with being pre-diabetic. Not at her age and weight. Even the doctor had told her that it was highly unusual that her high blood sugar hadn't made an appearance until her twenties... it should have done so either much earlier or much later in life. But some freak twist of genetics and here she was.

  Being a picky eater sure didn't help either. But she could get around that. And stop eating so many carbs. And exercise more. It was just that she always stalled, procrastinated, or told herself 'I'll start tomorrow.'

  She hoped Jared had been completely serious about wanting to be able to take charge of her this way, because she was finally ready to admit that she really did need help. Thinking about the two hard thwacks he'd given to her ass to give her a taste of a punishment spanking, she was pretty sure she'd prefer to go to the gym over getting another taste. Considering they'd just barely started dating again, she wasn't sure if it was too soon to ask him to involve himself in her life this way, but she really did think it was the best option for her.

  Obviously, trying to take care of this on her own wasn't working as well as she'd thought, and Leigh really, really didn't want to actually become diabetic.

  ******

  It was amazing how a week could simultaneously be peaceful and nerve-wracking; entirely enjoyable and yet anxiety-inducing. It had been five days since Jared had seen Marissa, four days since he'd heard a single word from her, five days that he was able to focus entirely on Leigh. Except he couldn't. Because he kept waiting for Marissa to pop up again. Either at his house or at the club... he'd almost expected her to show up last night - the swingers met at Stronghold on Tuesdays and rented out the whole club. Single women were always welcome and none of his friends would be there. But Marissa didn't appear.

  He talked to Leigh every day, even though he hadn't seen her since Monday. Every afternoon meant another bad joke text messaged to him. They were flirting more during their conversations, opening up a little more, and Jared was really looking forward to seeing her again tomorrow night. Since he was working all weekend, tomorrow was going to be their date night. They were going out to dinner. On Saturday, before he had to be at Stronghold, they were going to go downtown and visit some of the museums.

  It felt good making plans with her.

  If only the threat of Marissa wasn't hanging over his head. Hoping that she had gotten the message was probably in vain. He didn't expect her to approach him at Stronghold again. Patrick had made it perfectly clear that he wouldn't tolerate that shit inside the club; but outside of the club, even at home, Jared wouldn't have any support or buffers. And he really didn't want to have to be cruel to make her go away. He just wished she'd disappear, go on one of her out of town assignments the way she liked to do. Find someone who wanted her to model something very, very far away.

  His phone rang and he flinched when he felt the vibration in his pocket before he realized it was Leigh's ringtone. In the past, Jared had never assigned ring tones, but with Marissa's return, he'd been jumping every time his phone had gone off. Giving Marissa her own ringtone, even if it was just the generic songs provided by the phone company, at least helped him relax a little as soon as he heard that the ringing tone wasn’t hers. Then, because it had seemed wrong to give Marissa her own and not Leigh, he'd assigned a different ringtone for her too.

  Recognizing Leigh's always made his heart would jump a little bit in anticipation.

  "Hello?"

  "Hey."

  There was something slightly off about her tone and his brow immediately wrinkled in concern.

  "Everything okay?" Immediately his anxiety ratcheted up. Had Marissa confronted Leigh again instead of him?

  "Yeah... just my doctor's appointment didn't go as well as I wanted it to. My blood sugar is still high and they didn't even need to send out for the blood work to know that." Even though Leigh sounded disgruntled, Jared felt a surge of relief, which quickly morphed into a different kind of concern.

  "I'm sorry to hear that."

  "Yeah, I just need to eat better than I have been... and actually work out. I keep meaning to, but then I always find a reason not to, and yeah."

  It sounded like she wanted to say something more, but instead she paused. He could almost hear her nervousness trickling through the phone. It slowly began to dawn on him that the reason she was calling, the reason she was so nervous...

  "Um... so, I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me out."

  "Help you out?" he asked calmly, even though his cock had just jerked to life and his heart was now pounding in his chest. But he didn't want to make her nervous or scare her off by acting like a newbie Dom who just wanted to get his hands on her ass. He did want that too, but what was really making him so excited was that - for the first time in his life - here was a woman asking for what he'd always wanted to give. At least, he was pretty sure that's what she was asking. Even when he'd talked about it being what he wanted, even when she'd said all the right things, he hadn't really believed
it would actually happen. Because it never had before.

  "If you could, um, spank me if I don't do the things that I need to." The words came out in a rush. "I mean, I don't want you to actually spank me and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't need to, but I think just the threat of it would give me the motivation to go to the gym, like if I'm thinking that I'll just go tomorrow but then I remember that you'll spank me if I don't then I'll actually go today-"

  "Leigh," he said, interrupting the torrent of explanation that was falling from her lips, wishing that they were having this discussion in person so that he could hug her and give her the reassurance that she obviously needed. Inside, he was dancing for joy, but with just a touch of wariness. "I would be happy to help you, but I don't want you to think of me as the Bogeyman."

  "No, no of course not," she said quickly. "That's not what I meant, really. It's just that I really do need some sort of outside motivation to galvanize me sometimes and, well, I trust you to be able to give it to me. Because you really seem like you care."

  "I do care," he said, not at all insulted that she had a hint of question in her voice. She was anxious and he knew she'd never done anything like this before. Prior to meeting his group of friends, she'd probably never even thought about it. This was a huge step for her, especially coming out and asking for what she needed when they were still taking things slowly and the whole ex-factor was still hanging over their heads. Jared didn't mind reassuring her at all. "Spend tonight and tomorrow thinking about what you want help with, and when you come over tomorrow we'll write out a contract that outlines what guidelines you want to live under. And Leigh, if you do not follow those guidelines, I really will punish you and I will not be easy on you. I care about you too much to let you make yourself sick once that responsibility is put into my hands."

  ******

  Leigh felt an intense surge of relief at Jared's words. She was almost limp with it, like a puppet whose strings had just been cut. Still, some part of her brain still felt like it was kind of wrong to literally be giving up this kind of control in her life to a man. It hadn't been easy to ask, at all, and she'd started second guessing herself almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but now that everything was out in the open, she just felt relief and satisfaction.

  Especially at Jared's response. He wasn't gloating or acting like she was stupid for asking him, he wasn't just taking charge and sweeping away any semblance of independence; instead, she felt supported. By the man she'd just asked to spank her when she didn't follow the 'rules,' even though the rules weren't in place yet.

  Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it wasn't very feminist. But it felt right for her.

  Sure, hearing that he wouldn't hesitate to spank her sent a fission of apprehension through her. Part of her almost wanted to treat the whole 'consequences' thing as a joke, like it wasn't really real, but if he didn't follow through then she would just keep doing what she'd been doing. Which wasn't helping her at all.

  "Yes, Sir," was all she said back, but she knew he would understand.

  "So, how was the rest of your day?" he asked, as if he sensed that - despite her relief - she needed a distraction from the monumental change she'd just made in her life with this one phone call. There would be plenty of time for her to think about everything between now and seeing him tomorrow.

  "Pretty good," she said, smiling as she relaxed, everything going back to normal. "Since I had the doctor's appointment late enough in the afternoon, I just took off the rest of the day rather than going back to school. My morning classes were good though. January's kind of a drag for everyone; next month when they're looking forward to Valentine's Day and teenage hormones are flying, that's usually when all the drama happens." Jared laughed and she leaned back against her pillow, smiling. Part of her brain was already working on what she was going to talk to him about tomorrow, but the other part of her brain was just enjoying this moment in the now. "What about you?"

  "Also pretty good. My boss is being an ass though," he said. "I was day dreaming before you called and now I think he realizes I'm on a non-work related call." Leigh giggled. Lately, whenever Jared talked about his day, he'd apparently decided that working from home, with no boss and co-workers, was boring compared to her job so he occasionally made things up just to make her laugh. Especially about his "boss." She thought it was cute.

  They talked for another ten minutes before he had to get back to work. He was copy-editing a company's computer manual, which (even though she was an English major) sounded incredibly boring to her, but he seemed to like it.

  When she finally got off the phone, Leigh wandered downstairs. Adam would be home soon and it was Angel's turn to make dinner, but she could at least offer to help. Plus, she did need to tell her housemates about her doctor's appointment and the verdict on her blood sugar. Since they all shared cooking duties, they needed to know. Another conversation she didn't look forward to. She was grateful that Jared hadn't scolded or lectured her, since she knew she would have that to look forward to from Angel anyway.

  Angel was making chicken and broccoli with rice, and her reaction was pretty much exactly what Leigh figured it would be.

  "Why the hell haven't you be working out?! There's a machine downstairs!"

  "I know... but I get bored with the machine. I want to go to the gym and do classes, like zumba or something, but then I come home from work and I'm exhausted, and I just keep telling myself I'll go tomorrow. Or I'll start next week, because all my weeknights this week are so busy. It's just so easy to put off."

  "Well, I'll start going with you," Angel said, as she pushed the pan of chicken into the oven and washed her hands so she could started on cutting the broccoli flowers off the stem. She'd refused Leigh's offer of help since this was a pretty simple meal, so Leigh was sitting across the island from her, sipping a glass of water and watching Angel prep. "I could use some gym time anyway."

  "You don't have to do that."

  Looking down at herself, Angel poked her belly. "Looks like I could use it."

  Laughing, Leigh threw a balled up napkin at her friend. "Shut up, you look gorgeous."

  "Well so do you but that's not the point. It's not a bad thing to be healthier, and I do feel like I've gained a couple pounds lately. Going to the gym won't hurt me and if it'll help you, it's worth it." Picking up a head of broccoli, Angel started slicing off the smaller stems and dropping them into the steamer.

  "Thank you, I appreciate that." She hesitated for a moment and then decided she might as well tell Angel now, since she knew she would eventually. "I've um, also asked Jared to help. He's going to motivate me."

  Slowly, Angel put down the knife and the broccoli, her hazel eyes serious as she looked up at Leigh. "Motivate you? Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"

  "If you think I'm talking about spankings, then yes," Leigh said, picking up her glass and taking a fortifying sip. Her mouth was feeling very dry all of the sudden.

  Angel frowned. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Isn't this kind of sudden? I mean, considering everything that happened on New Years, don't you think this is moving fast?"

  "Yes, yes, and yes," Leigh admitted. "The decision is kind of sudden and if we were just talking about mine and Jared's relationship since New Years I would think it was moving too fast... but I feel like we had a pretty solid base for a relationship already being built before that. New Years freaked me out a bit and I stepped back initially, and I don't regret that, but I think I might have overreacted."

  The scowl on Angel's face said that she didn't agree. "He dumped you."

  "He needed space to think."

  "How much space could he have possibly gotten while his ex was sleeping over at his apartment?"

  That was a good point, but Leigh believed him when he said that nothing had happened while Marissa was there and that he'd spent as little time at home as possible while she was. She wasn't going to be upset at how caring and loyal he was. How could she be when that
was part of what she was attracted to? In some ways, seeing how well Jared was treating Marissa - despite the fact that their relationship had ended - had reassured her on what a good guy he was. If she'd needed to stay with Michael after their break up, if she hadn't been able to go to Angel and Adam's, that's how she would want to have been treated.

  "Yet he still chose not to get back together with her," Leigh said firmly. "I don't blame him for needing some time to think; if Michael wanted to get back together and offered me everything I'd ever asked for, I would need the same thing. Sometimes it still hurts to think about the fact that I wasted years of my life with him, only to have it go nowhere. And then I wonder if it was really wasted, because I did learn a lot about myself and what I do and do not want in my next relationship. I do want a lot of what Jared has to offer and the spanking is part of it. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I should have taken a chance with him. Everyone comes with baggage, at least his matches mine."

  "And it doesn't hurt that he's incredibly hot," Angel said, one corner of her mouth turning up as she bent back over the broccoli. It wasn't exactly complete acceptance of Leigh's decision, but it was enough.

  "Nope, that definitely doesn't hurt either," Leigh said, a little shiver going through her at the thought of Jared's hands on her again. Hopefully this time with a happy ending for both of them.

  ******

  My love,

  I understand that you need to lash out at me, and I want you to know that I accept that and I will wait for you anyways. We haven't been together all these years just to give up now. Yes, there have been others, but I think every couple needs that - people need different experiences to know what's best for them in life - but you have always been the man I've come home to, the one that has always held my heart. I am ready to be yours, fully committed, and I wanted to prove that to you by not taking the job overseas, but now I can see that you need more. I don't blame you for that. I will patiently wait for you, the way you have always waited for me, because I know that we belong together, and I know that you know that too.