Soul of Smoke

by Caitlyn McFarland

  “I was five!”

  Juli raised an eyebrow, then yanked the curtain aside and marched into the hall. Kai caught the surprising white flash of Ashem’s smile before the heavy fabric fell back into place. Juli started shouting, but the sound faded as they walked out into the sleeping room.

  Ffion lay down on her side again, her head resting on her fist. “She’s good for him, too. What other questions do you have?”

  Kai reached for her carabiner. “If I have a dragon’s lifespan...I’ll save my family and the people I love, but I’ll lose them anyway, won’t I? Cadoc said he was over two thousand years old.”

  Ffion gave Kai a sad smile. “I’m afraid so. Dragons normally live several thousand years.”

  Kai felt the blood drain from her face. That kind of time was unimaginable.

  Kai opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it again. Thousands of years. She’d had her problems with her family, but... They’d all die, and she’d barely age a year. Their children would die, and she’d still be the same. By the time her body was thirty, she’d have lost track of her brothers’ descendants altogether. Their blood would be so diluted those people wouldn’t count as relatives at all. “How do you do it? How do you live so long without going insane?”

  Ffion tilted her head, her eyes focused somewhere in the distance. “Time is relative. When things are good, it flows like a fast river. At times like this, when we’re at war, it seems to stretch and warp. Every day feels like a year might have felt before. I imagine it’s how you experience time on a regular basis.”

  “That’s...interesting.”

  “Family and friends help. Someday you’ll have children, too. I’ve been told time with young children both flies and drags. I wonder how that will feel.” Ffion’s eyes went distant.

  Kai refused to think about children. She had enough on her plate just dealing with Rhys. “Ffion...do dragons have affairs and things? Relationships outside of heartswearing?”

  Ffion’s face became guarded. “It happens.”

  Kai clicked a carabiner. “Is Rhys...does he have someone waiting for him? I mean, is he already in love?” Her stomach knotted.

  “No. Not that I know of.”

  Ffion’s answer was a little too quick. Kai watched her, but the dragon woman’s face remained serene.

  “Okay...well, I wanted to talk to you about what it’s like to have someone in your head all the time.” She wasn’t sure why, but it felt like she was asking Ffion something supremely intimate. “I mean, obviously Ashem is in Juli’s head. She doesn’t like it, but she’s not reacting the way I did when Kavar...”

  Ffion’s eyes lit like a light bulb had gone on in her brain. “Oh, Kai, is that what you’ve been thinking? Heartswearing is nothing like what Kavar did to you. First of all, Rhys is not Kavar. Second, it wouldn’t be an invasion. You’ll be bonded. As much a part of him as he is of you.”

  Kai frowned. “Do I want to be in someone else’s head?”

  “You don’t have to be all the time.”

  “Do you keep Griffith out?”

  Ffion smiled. “Not usually.”

  “Oh.” Kai laughed a little. “You know, I just realized Juli is basically married.”

  Ffion blinked at her, the air of concern deepening slightly. “If you’re just now realizing that, perhaps I should point something out.”

  “What?”

  Ffion cleared her throat. “If you heartswear to Rhys, you’ll be queen. After what happened with Mair and Ayen, the fact that you’re human is going to cause problems.”

  Kai had stopped listening. She tried to speak, but nothing came out. Queen? The room spun. Dizzy, she thrust herself to her feet. “Holy... I need to take a walk. Think about this.”

  Ffion stood, too, regarding Kai uncertainly. “All right. I’ll walk out with you. Apparently, Rhys cleared a space in the hoard. I’m going to go work out with Griffith.”

  Kai nodded numbly, following Ffion out into the main cavern. Kai, needing air, trudged up the small rise to the ledge.

  There wasn’t a point in delaying any longer. Terrified or not, she should find Rhys. She didn’t want to wait for Ashem to lock them in a room together or—

  Kai froze. Not ten feet in front of her, Rhys stood on the edge of the ledge, his toes hanging over space, staring out at the distant horizon. He wore no shirt, his hair dark with sweat, as if he’d been working out. The white bandages, his constant accessory since they’d arrived, were gone.

  He finally looked as strong as his power made it seem he should.

  He lifted his head, as if he’d sensed her, and turned. His mouth curved into that heart-stopping half-smile.

  Kai swallowed and reached for a carabiner. Click, click, click. The thunderstorm feeling rolled over her as she stepped out of the cave. “How’s it going?”

  The smile grew a little. “All right.”

  Kai’s throat went suddenly dry. How should she do it? It seemed sort of abrupt to just walk up to him and kiss him.

  “So...I talked to Ffion.”

  He watched her.

  “She said that Wingless have magic.”

  Rhys nodded.

  Kai found herself mesmerized by the curve of his lips. “Fire magic will be pretty awesome.” She heard herself babbling, but there didn’t seem to be a way to stop. “I mean, mind reading magic is slightly more awesome, but—”

  Rhys folded his arms across his chest. “You think Ashem’s magic is better than mine?”

  Kai grinned. He looked genuinely affronted. She shrugged, just to goad him. “Well, I mean, reading minds...”

  “Follow me.” He strode past her into the cavern.

  Intrigued, Kai stepped inside. The cave could have been empty but for them, and she wondered where the others had gone.

  Rhys walked to the middle of the cavern then turned to face her. She opened her mouth, but he held up a hand.

  The wall fires died, swallowing Rhys in shadow. He held his hands in front of him, his arms bent, his palms toward each other. The air between them rippled and his eyes began to glow. A spark of light appeared between his hands, swirling lazily. It grew into a single tongue of flame that danced, flickering from blue to yellow to red and back again.

  He dropped his hands. The flame became a softball-sized ball of fire. Other fireballs winked to life, surrounding him. They moved, weaving in and out of each other with such quick complexity they became streaks of light, searing an intricate afterimage into her vision.

  The pattern surrounded Rhys, forming a golden cage, never still, a whirling, changing pattern with him at its heart. The cage collapsed, forming a pool of fire at his feet. It stretched outward, mini-geysers of flame shooting into the air. Flowers bloomed, vines put out leaves and curled back upon themselves, spiraling outward. They grew, covering the cavern walls, then the ceiling, until the entirety of the cavern was laced with flame in beautiful, dizzying designs.

  A pathway opened, parting the garden of flame. Rhys stood at the other end, perfectly still, body tense. He held out his hand.

  Kai swallowed and stepped onto the path. Suddenly nervous, she looked back. The fire wasn’t closing in as she’d thought it would; he’d left a way for her to escape.

  Confident now, she moved toward him. His eyes mesmerized, and he seemed just as enthralled by her.

  She wasn’t sure who moved first, but their fingers intertwined. A shockwave pulsed through her body. She moved forward, or he pulled her, or both, but suddenly she was in his arms, crushed to him with desperate intensity. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest, and he buried his face in her hair. He was shaking; his heart pounded beneath her ear. The fire coalesced around them, a column of rushing flame that reached from ceiling to floor. But he’d left the way out. A gap in the flame to her right, a s
pace just large enough for her to escape if she’d wanted.

  She didn’t. Maybe it was the time they’d spent together last night, or seeing Juli interact with Ashem, or talking to Ffion, but Kai was no longer afraid.

  To hell with freedom. Give me fire.

  She was aware of every inch of him, aware that he smelled like wind and smoke and whatever it was that made her nerves go zing. She tilted her chin up just a fraction, her nose brushing his jaw. He lowered his eyes, his head angling down a fraction. If she moved, if she lifted her mouth another centimeter, they would kiss.

  She traced her fingers along the flame-like indicium that covered the right side of his chest, down his ribcage to his stomach. His breathing became unsteady. She grinned.

  His fingers feathered down the back of her neck, down her spine to the hem of her shirt. They found a stripe of skin and slipped, warm and rough under the fabric. He caressed her back, then skimmed the curve of her waist from her hips to her ribcage, his thumbs making small circles on her stomach.

  “Rhys...”

  It was his turn to grin. He kissed the side of her neck, and she buried her fingers in his hair. His teeth nipped her skin and she gasped. If this was what it would be like...

  He kissed her neck again, and then tucked her head beneath his chin, holding her for another minute, his hands against her skin.

  Do it. She pulled away just enough.

  It was time.

  Suddenly, he froze, his eyes on the sky beyond the cave mouth. The garden of fire collapsed. “Cadoc,” he whispered. He released Kai. She thought she saw pain flicker across his face, but it was gone too quick to be sure.

  “Cadoc?” Her voice sounded oddly flat. Dizzy, she couldn’t process what had happened. How good it had felt to be close to him.

  Rhys spun to look at Kai. “Stay back.” Fire blazed up around him, and he was the dragon. “Stay inside. The wind from the downbeats will knock you off the ledge.”

  “Wait! What’s going on?”

  But Rhys was gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  More Time

  Cadoc’s wings faltered, and he dropped several dozen feet before catching himself. His right foreclaw was curled tight to his body, as twisted and mangled as it had been as a human hand. He needed to sleep so badly that keeping his eyes open was torture nearly as wrenching as anything Izel had done.

  The ground sped away beneath him. He forced his weary head up to look at the horizon, blinking bleary eyes. The mountains in front of him unwillingly coalesced, forming a shockingly familiar pattern. He was nearly to the cave. “Ashem! Anyone!”

  Ashem answered immediately. “Cadoc! You escaped! How?” The Azhdahā’s mental touch skimmed over him, and he swore softly. “Land somewhere and wait. Don’t come here. Something is wrong.”

  Cadoc groaned. If he landed, he wouldn’t take off again. “I’m almost there. I can see the cave.”

  Power washed over him. A flash of crimson caught the corner of his eye. Rhys had come up beneath him. Cadoc hadn’t even seen him approach.

  “Cadoc!” Rhys flew closer and did a roll around Cadoc, looking him over. “Ancestors of the Ancients, your hand. Get inside. Go see Ashem.”

  The contradictory orders made Cadoc laugh, an out-of-control giggle. He was so tired.

  “Rhys.” A chill began to creep over Cadoc’s mind, conscious thought slowing to an icy crawl. He tried to shake the cold, but it wouldn’t go. It had to be the exhaustion, the stress. Rhys. “I’m...sorry. I came to...warn... Owain and Kavar are close. I did it. I...”

  The cold grew more intense, sliding through his veins until his entire body was numb. He faltered again as a red haze rose up to blanket his mind. A voice seemed to echo through his brain, murmuring and hissing, “Rhys ap Ayen must die. Kill the dragon king. Lladd y brenin ddraig.”

  Cadoc watched in horror from some distant, shrouded place as he dove for Rhys’s back, drawing in a breath, igniting fire deep in his belly to incinerate the delicate membrane where it stretched between the bones of Rhys’s wings.

  In his mind, Ashem shouted a warning.

  As undeniable as blood, the voice whispered, “Kill the dragon king.”

  * * *

  Juli sat in the library, glaring at Ashem over the top of the book she wasn’t even pretending to read. Ashem ignored her, manipulating some kind of holograph that floated above a glass sphere.

  “Ashem! Anyone!”

  Juli jumped at the sound of the stranger’s voice. She’d been practicing eavesdropping on Ashem without him knowing, like he did to her. Now his hand hovered in mid-air, the holograph forgotten. She “watched” him respond, then give the stranger, apparently the Cadoc person Kai had told her about, a mental once-over.

  Something was very, very wrong with his mind.

  Juli knew it was bad when Ashem swore only once, his voice soft. That single, murmured curse held more vehemence than any of his normal strings of obscenities. “Land somewhere and wait. Don’t come here.”

  Cadoc didn’t stop. Ashem rose. So did Juli. Whatever was wrong with Cadoc’s mind, it put Ashem on edge.

  They heard Rhys speak. Ashem swore again, and then fixed his golden gaze on Juli. “Stay here.”

  Ashem left the hologram and strode toward door. Juli snorted and followed. “You do not dictate what I can and cannot do.”

  He glared, sent out a mental call to Ffion, Griffith and Deryn, then put his hands on her shoulders and spun her around. “Go back to your book.”

  She smacked his fingers. When that didn’t work, she twisted her head and tried to bite him. Only half-listening to the conversation between Rhys and Cadoc, she froze at Cadoc’s next exhausted words.

  “Owain and Kavar are close. I told them. I...”

  Ashem released her and sprinted out of the library. Juli followed. She caught a glimpse of Kai out on the ledge, holding her hoodie tight around her. Beyond her, two red dragons flew. One had scales the red-orange of flame, his wing beats slow and unsteady. The other, crimson as blood, flew smoothly below him and to one side. Juli’s breath caught. She came to an abrupt halt.

  Dragons. She hadn’t seen one since Ashem had brought her back to the cave after their ill-fated escape attempt. There they were, as plain as day. Freaking. Dragons.

  Juli sensed, as Ashem did, the moment Cadoc lost control. She watched the red-orange dragon pull his head up and back, fire and blood hot in his brain.

  “Rhys! Dodge left!” Ashem’s mental voice boomed. Rhys twisted away an instant before Cadoc’s flames seared the air. “Something’s wrong.”

  “Obviously!” Rhys snapped. “Owain had him for days. Who knows what he did!”

  “Get away. I’ll knock him out, and we can figure out what’s wrong with him when we get to Eryri.”

  Ashem turned to Juli. “Get Kai and get out of here, jāné del-am. If Kavar finds out about you...” He pulled the shutters over his mind too fast for her to hear the end of the sentence, but not before she sensed his fear.

  It shocked them both when Juli rose on her toes and kissed him. She didn’t know why she did it. She didn’t expect the roiling wave of emotion that crashed over her. They tore away from each other, and Ashem gave her one confused, piercing look before he turned and ran.

  “Kai, move!” Juli shouted.

  Darkness gathered around Ashem, coalescing about him, growing until the man had disappeared. Juli blinked, and the blackness became an ebony dragon. Kai dove out of the way as he reached the edge and plunged over, his vast wings like a patch of night that had somehow survived the sunlight.

  “You really are a dragon,” Juli sent.

  Ashem didn’t reply.

  Next to her, Kai was pale and shaken. “Cadoc is alive! What’s going on? Did Rhys lose control again? Is this still b
ecause of that stupid kiss?”

  Before Juli could answer, footsteps pounded across the cavern. Ffion, Griffith and Deryn.

  “What’s happening? Where did Ashem go?” Ffion asked, breathless.

  “Something is wrong with Cadoc.” Juli snatched her fingers away from her lips, which felt suddenly oversensitive. “He’s not in control of himself. Cadoc, I mean. He’s trying to kill Rhys.”

  Jāné del-am, Ashem had called her. She’d seized the meaning from his mind as he’d closed down on her. Jāné del-am. Life of my heart.

  Juli snapped back to the present. The dragons were gaping at her. “Why are you standing there? Go help them!”

  The cavern filled with the sound of wind, wave and shifting earth. Where there had been three humans, now three dragons stood: green, silver and blue. Suddenly, the vast cavern seemed very small. Juli’s mouth dropped open in an O of amazement at the sheer size of them.

  She closed it. “Ffion!”

  The smallest of the dragons turned her finely sculpted head in Juli’s direction. Her wings were translucent silver, her scales glittered like thousands of mirrors. Juli found herself confronted by ice-blue eyes the size of dinner plates.

  “Yes?”

  Juli took a step back. Ffion was perturbing enough as a tiny woman. Now she was at least forty feet long. Juli tilted her chin up the smallest bit. “Ashem wants Kai and me out of here. We could rappel down, but it would be faster if someone carried us. Can you do it?”

  Ffion gave her a look Juli supposed was the dragon equivalent of an arched eyebrow. “I believe I’m capable.”

  Juli swallowed hard. Oddly, she wanted to reach out to Ashem. She’d a thousand times rather ride him than this fine-spun creature of saran wrap and silver glitter.

  “You’re broadcasting.” Ffion’s mental voice was dry. “I can hear you.”

  “Well, pardon me for being uncertain,” Juli snapped. It was odd, hearing the dragon in her head. It wasn’t like the little mind reading she’d managed since heartswearing to Ashem. Neither was it like speaking to Ashem in her own mind. Of the three, the dragon-speech was the most like talking. Very much on the surface, without much to hint at what the speaker was thinking beyond tone or intensity. Reading minds, she was able to pick up a bit more of the thoughts behind the speech. With Ashem, she got everything. Intention, tone, words, images, emotion and sometimes hints of memories—flashes of sight, sound or smell.