The Sex Shrink of Seattle (Sessions #1)

by Kailin Gow

  “You’re so full of shit,” Matt said.

  I laughed. Matt was an all out sports enthusiast and considered it a huge victory when he found a beautiful, curvaceous lady who had a real love for sports. It was never a big enough score to consider making him go from bachelor to groom, though. That’s also how Ralph Bixby had been until Lina.

  “I saw Lina this past week. She came to listen to my Women and Sex presentation at the university.”

  “She did, did she?” Matt said rhetorically.

  I knew what he was getting at and I wished to high heaven that he was right. “We talked and that’s all.”

  “I know you, you’re planting a seed. Not sure why you’d want to play such a dangerous game but if you want, go ahead.”

  “Dangerous? What’s dangerous about it?”

  “Let’s see. She’s engaged. You seem emotionally vested and I haven’t had a conversation with you in the last weeks where you haven’t speculated about her or Bixby. I’d say that’s vested, my friend…even if you don’t want to admit it.”

  “You know and I know that the one thing that Bixby and us have in common is that we like women—lots of women who can do lots of dirty little things to us.”

  “Yeah. Where you going with that?” Matt asked.

  “From talking with Lina I don’t think she’s like that. She’s sweet and has an innocence about her that can’t be hidden by confidence or charm. It’s a strong presence.”

  “That you just happened to notice,” Matt said.

  “You’d have to be blind not to notice it,” I countered. I know he thought I was crazy and if it was him talking with me I would have said the same thing. Something was different about this woman though and I didn’t feel like I could rest until I figured it out. Nothing would have made me happier than her having some dirty, little secret to make her seem less angelic, maybe wholesome.

  Matt pointed to the television. “Speak of the devil. Look.”

  I turned my head and on the television in the far right corner was Ralph Bixby at some press conference or another. I quickly pulled out my smart phone and pulled it up, putting in my ear bud to listen.

  Bixby Holdings is proud to announce our latest asset, which we have recently purchased. We are now adding Meridian Media Group to our holdings. This is the largest acquisition we have ever had…

  Then the broadcast went on to mention Ralph’s engagement to up and coming actress, Lina Lee, who is the female lead opposite Tatum Teely in Mattoff’s latest screenplay, The Encoded Soul. Lina’s picture flashed before my eyes and I stared at it, still taken by her beauty and also believing her to be way too innocent and naïve to ever find long lasting happiness with a guy like Ralph.

  Matt whistled. “She is a looker. Not enough to make me want to settle down, though.”

  “Me neither,” I said, not really thinking about the words as they left my lips.

  “That guy sure has an in with starlets, doesn’t he? We’ve both bagged some beauties from Hollywood but he has a steady stream.”

  “And the acquisition of Meridian will keep that going,” I said.

  “He’s engaged, remember?”

  “I don’t buy that he’ll be faithful. If there’s one thing I know, its men like him because he was kind of a guy like me in that regard.”

  “You don’t ever think you’d be faithful?” Matt asked.

  “I don’t plan on putting myself in a situation to find out,” I said.

  “Look, we’re young and fit now but it might not always be that way. Some day our balls are going to have gray on them and we may not be that package we were now.”

  “You talk as if you’d settle down today,” I said.

  “Not today but by the time I’m forty, hopefully,” Matt replied.

  “You know what’s odd, Matt?”

  “What?”

  “Since when do newspaper reporters gossip about dating and love on a football channel, even cutting in during a game?”

  “Well, if my memory serves me correctly, Meridian owns a few of these sports channels.”

  “Leave it to that prick to ruin the game,” I said.

  “At least he’s only talked for a minute of it. We’re almost to the second quarter and you won’t shut the hell up about his fiancé.”

  “It’s him I’m curious about right now, more than anything,” I said. Then I took a sip of my beer and turned my attention to the game. I stared at the screen, shouted out like a testosterone laden sports guy, and internalized all my thoughts about what a lucky bastard Bixby was.

  By the end of the game I was feeling great, relaxed with a few beers under my belt, and making my way to my car, where I was about to get a blow job from an eager, sexy coed. I know she wanted to go to my penthouse but there was no way I was going to show her where I lived. Whenever I made that mistake it ended up costing me a fortune in tips to the doorman to remain quiet about it and deal with the late night attempts to get up to my penthouse. I had quite the network of people helping me jockey this beautiful life I’d created so why was I feeling like something was missing?

  Chapter 8

  “How’s my beautiful, amazing agent today?” I asked, walking up to Tina and giving her a warm hug the next morning.

  “Fantastic and I’ll be better if you get the latest revisions over to the editor for the book. Time’s coming to an end. You’re not going to disappoint me now, are you?” She teased me with her words but I knew she had a serious meaning behind them.

  “I’d never disappoint you,” I said, winking at Tina. I loved the way she blushed when she did that and then burst out into a little giggle to try and cover it. I saw it, though, because I saw everything with women. I even knew what they were likely to say before they said it, had a feeling of how their bodies moved during sex by the shape of their ass…

  “Ella is back today,” Tina said to me.

  I smiled. I was glad. I liked the regular hostess because we’d never been intimate together and she really knew how to take control of the callers and help get the best questions out of them. Since it was the host’s job to do that I liked working with those that had a gift for it.

  It was show time. I walked out, turning to the audience and blowing out a kiss, followed by a smile so bright that it made my teeth look like twinkling stars in the studio.

  “Look who’s here, ladies. It’s Dr. Sessions, our favorite Seattle sex therapist,” Ella said.

  I waved and waited for the applause to die down. Man, I loved the sound of applause for me. It was so empowering and helped fuel me up to do the best I could.

  “Dr. Sessions, how are you today?” she asked, shaking my hand and sitting down.

  “Wonderful, it’s great to see you, Ella,” I said. I looked out to the audience and said, “Doesn’t she look like a million bucks?”

  “Yes!” They all screamed it and someone yelled out, “So do you, Doctor.”

  “Alright everyone, let’s quiet down so we can get our first caller on the phone,” Ella said. Everyone quieted down. “Hello, are you there caller?”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  “You’re on the speaker with Dr. Sessions and I,” Ella said. “What’s going on?”

  The woman started to talk quite fast at first, showing that she was nervous, but then she finally had to take a breath and slow down. “So, what I guess I’m wondering is if men actually go for girls who are close to their ideal woman, or do they go for girls who are convenient, easy to please, and fit into their existing world?”

  “Great question,” I said. “You know, it’s often said that women are complicated but I tell you ladies, men are just as complicated. What makes it even worse for us is that we don’t really know how to tell what we want the way you women can. You’re definitely the smarter species.”

  Everyone laughed and I shrugged my shoulders in surrender, then leaned back on the couch and crossed my leg over, showing that I was focused on answering the callers question with serious integrity. “
From what I’ve seen in my practice and around my friends, the confident men go for women who are ideal because they are not afraid to stretch their limits and become the man who is worthy of the woman they love.”

  “Aahs,” came from the audience.

  “On the opposite end of the spectrum, insecure men go with what is comfortable. They want the girl who lets him do whatever he wants with her, who doesn’t have her own ambitions or any plans except for his. Many of you call this woman the trophy wife.”

  “Trophy wife,” Ella interjected, “isn’t that usually used in a positive manner. The way you say it makes it sound negative.”

  “Not negative, Ella, but different. You see, it takes more than money and an image to make a woman feel truly whole and complete. Rich men get this, of course, but this is one area where a poor guy has equal footing. A poor guy can make a woman feel more complete than she’s ever felt before if he’s genuinely vested in becoming a better man because of her in his life.”

  I heard more “aahs” and smiled. My latest demographics report showed that I could benefit from appealing a bit more to the common man, the one willing to take some advice, so I’d been trying to work in the guy angle a bit. My second book was going to be directed toward men, too, and I knew that if nothing else, the women who buy the first book will definitely buy the second one for the men in their life. It was a win/win and the more people that realized they needed the unique, refreshingly honest, perspective of me, the better.

  The caller started laughing. “I love your insight, Doctor. I never thought of it that way. So, if you don’t mind my asking, what kind of man are you?”

  “I don’t mind you asking at all. What I really want is that ideal woman, the one who’ll make me do things I never imagined I’d do for someone—the one who makes me so uncomfortable that just being in her presence makes me stretch my limits as a man and as a person.”

  The audience started clapping, moved by my declaration, and I was even a bit amazed by the poetic nature of it. It felt really inspired and I knew by whom, too.

  “Dr. Sessions, have you met that woman yet?”

  “Not to the best of my knowledge, although I keep hoping.”

  I was on fire today and it made me feel so good, but horny. There was something about a great show that made me want to feel the warmth of a woman’s body by my side to celebrate it. If not helping clients then at that woman’s house, where I could leave when I was done. My home was my sanctuary, a place meant for me and only a small handful of invited guests.

  “Caller, your question has helped us all, thank you,” Ella said. The call ended and then Ella turned to the audience. “I bet there’s some ladies out there who’d like to find out if they are the ideal one.” She smiled at the audience and as expected, many calls claiming to be that one were called out, making everyone laugh.

  There was a commercial break and I walked to the side of the stage, wanting to get a drink of water, and as I drank from the bottle I saw a tall, thin chestnut haired woman with her back to me. I paused. Was it Lina? Could I be that lucky? She turned around and I saw that I wasn’t that lucky at all. It was some other girl but when she saw me looking at her I could see it impacted her. Sorry sweetheart, but not today, were my thoughts.

  Tina walked over to me. “You’re nailing it today, Simon. Great show.”

  “Thanks, I’m feeling in stride.”

  “Keep it up. I see your clout going through the roof. I’m sending this tape to some guy in Hollywood who needs someone to play a cameo for a sex expert.”

  “And you think that’s me?” I asked.

  “If not you, who?” Tina asked. She was quite serious with her statement.

  “Good point,” I said. I leaned in and brushed her cheek softly, feeling her face respond to the gentle touch. I did it out of friendship but I also found enjoyment in how she was able to control her emotions in front of me the way she did. It took all she had; I was certain.

  “Okay,” she said, stepping backward to gain some distance between us, “back out there for five more minutes of shine.”

  “Shine away,” I said, laughing and then I turned and walked back on stage, quickly giving one autograph to a lady in the audience before taking my spot on the couch.

  Ella came up and said, “Love it today. Those were some juicy words for the ladies to absorb.”

  “And a warning to the men in this world, too, I hope.”

  “Well, if they didn’t hear it directly they’ll sure here it from the ladies in their life.”

  We chuckled a bit and then the producer counted down 3, 2, 1. We were back on the air.

  “We’re back with Dr. Sessions, Seattle sex therapist, and have time for one more caller. Are you ready, caller?”

  “Yes, I’m here. Hi Dr. Sessions,” she said in a kitten-like voice.

  “Hello.” I smiled but I knew who this caller was and couldn’t believe she’d gotten through. No one else would know that, though.

  “What is it that you want to ask Dr. Sessions about, caller?”

  “I was wondering, Dr. Sessions, what you thought about ménage à trois and if they negatively impacted a relationship?”

  “That’s a question that a lot of people ponder at some point, isn’t it? It stirs an instant opinion. I guess I need to know what your case is in specific, A…caller.”

  There was a soft giggle. “Well, I’d like to invite a girlfriend to join someone I’m very intimate with and see if we can achieve a Level 8 orgasm together.”

  “I see you must be a follower,” I said. I turned to the audience. “For those of you who don’t know, Level 8 is a term I coined on my intimacy scale, showing how to slowly build a relationship to be mind- blowing and wonderful in the bed, as well as outside of it.”

  Everyone gasped, as if the thought of it was impossible. From firsthand experience I knew it wasn’t impossible, in the bed, anyway.

  “I am familiar with your work,” she said softly.

  “A ménage à trois is tricky, it takes a lot of confidence in yourself and you can’t have a possessive nature or it’s destined to implode a relationship that you want in your life long term. The meaning of the word is ‘household of three’ in French.”

  “So you think it’s a bad idea?” the caller interjected.

  “I’m not saying that, however, I am saying that it’s something that you may want to try in a more casual, safe manner if you are simply exploring your limits and satisfying a curiosity. Does that make sense?”

  “It does. Thank you so much, Doctor. You’ve been a huge help.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  The caller hung up and Ella looked at me. “That was steamy.”

  “Sex usually is…if it’s done right, anyway,” I added with a laugh. Inside my mind was not laughing. I was completely annoyed that Atori had called the show but also excited about a possible adventure coming my way. I’d explored it before and what I liked about it was that I could become the one being doted on from head to toe, giving my entire body an amazing work-over of sexual gratification in a single shot.

  Chapter 9

  Slamming on the punching bag at the gym hadn’t helped me. Masturbating like a pubescent boy hadn’t done the job. Having extra sex therapy sessions hadn’t alleviated what had gotten to me, either. I felt like my cocoon had been cracked and I was exposed, growing into something I wasn’t ready for. Damn that Lina. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, no matter how hard I tried. I barely saw her and didn’t even have her contact information to talk with her but she occupied most of my emotional time and had claimed a place that she didn’t deserve…or that I wanted filled.

  There was a knock on the door and I walked over to it, opening it up and smiling at the prize that was standing there. It was a chestnut haired beauty with bright hazel eyes, a curvy but athletic body, about 5’8” and 110 pounds. It was a doppelganger of Lina and from a distance she could have passed. Up close, not so much but if I didn’t stare right at her fa
ce, she’d do the trick.

  “Come in,” I said, standing aside.

  She walked in, looking at me with suggestive eyes, and fell right into her role. This was my solution to my greatest problem—Lina on the brain. It was also good research, something that I could use as a foundation for helping people get through situations where they longed for the one that eluded them.