Private Lessons

by Dara Girard

  She helped her mother and added so much efficiency as to how things were run in the house that the owner began to defer to Jodi, instead of her mother, when she wanted something done. But things had still been tough and the money never enough.

  Most of her life she’d lived in fear of being taken from her parents, of her father dying, of her sister not doing well. She lived in fear until she’d managed to get the job at By Your Side, after her father had briefly been in one of the rehabilitation centers the company provided transportation for and she’d spoken to one of the drivers and learned they were hiring. That had changed her life.

  The schedule worked for her—odd hours, evenings and weekends so that she could take care of her father—and although the money wasn’t good at first, her ingenuity and ease with clients quickly got noticed by Larry, who, at the time, was eager to put the new company on solid ground. She shared her ideas and got more responsibilities and a raise. Enough to help support the family, along with her father’s disability and retirement. Due to a bad back her mother stopped working seven years ago. Fortunately, her sister got a scholarship and went to college where she majored in Psychology and eventually married a doctor. They had two children.

  Jodi felt proud that she’d succeeded in giving her sister a chance for a different life. One that wasn’t constantly marked by struggle. But at times, she wondered if she’d ever find that chance for herself. If she’d ever escape being afraid of people discovering her secret and losing everything.

  Her parents still depended on her, although she was relieved that at eighty-five her father’s health had stabilized—and she couldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. But sometimes, at moments when she was alone in her room, she dreamed of a new life. She wanted all her fears and troubles to go away. She wanted to be carefree. She wanted someone to look after her, to worry about her. To care about her.

  But she didn’t think that day would come. What man would want to take on the burden she carried?

  She remembered the sight of her father holding her mother— his gentle words stopping her from another meltdown, rocking her in his arms—and Jodi felt a sadness welling in her heart because no one had ever held her like that. And she wondered if she’d ever feel a love like that.

  I like you.

  Dylan. She missed him. She wished he’d stayed. She wished she hadn’t had to fire him. She wished she hadn’t imagined his words, that he’d really said them to her and meant them.

  Why him? Why did she have to be attracted to a guy like him?

  Jodi squeezed her eyes shut. If only she could forget the first day he’d shadowed her. The gentle way he’d wrapped Mrs. Sherman’s sweater around her shoulders when it had fallen to the ground. How he’d helped Mr. Newman select the right wine at the store for his monthly meeting with his buddies. He’d been so patience with Mrs. Tamaka using halting Japanese and making her giggle. He’d listened to Jodi’s ideas about the way the company could assist their clients further. Really listened. And his eyes. She missed those frozen lakes that never made her feel cold, but serene. Less alone.

  “Why do you do this?” he’d asked her one day in the office after she’d given him his schedule for the day.

  No one had ever asked her before and she hesitated then said, “Because of my father. He hated his lack of freedom following his stroke; waiting for the regular medical transport to come. I know how important it is to control your life as much as you can.”

  She didn’t tell him that she’d felt old even when she was young. She’d started taking over some of the household chores by age five—folding clothes, washing dishes, helping her grandmother working on piecemeal projects she took in such as hand painting figurines and attaching eyes to stuffed toys. Her father was never strong and her Jamaican maternal grandmother did her best to support them on her meager wages, but the fridge was usually sparse and there seemed to be more bottles of medicine inside than anything else. When her grandmother passed away when Jodi was eleven, she felt the loss keenly.

  Dylan nodded then tapped her desk with his knuckles. “The company is lucky to have you. I hope they know that.”

  Jodi nodded, her heart in her throat. His compliment meant more than anything Larry could say.

  If only his words had been for real. If only he’d felt the attraction too. If only she didn’t have to keep her secret and could face Natalie’s deception. If only she could be someone else and escape this life.

  But she feared she never would.

  7

  “What did you do?” Cara asked Jodi the following day.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Natalie’s gone.”

  “What do you mean ‘gone’?” Jodi asked, taking a seat behind her desk.

  “Fired. Did you tell Larry about the report?”

  “No, I haven’t said anything.”

  “Well, something happened and Natalie’s gone. Now Joyce has been promoted and is taking her place and Larry wants to see you.”

  “Why?”

  “Maybe so that you can take Joyce’s place.”

  Jodi’s heart began to race. “But I can’t take Joyce’s job.”

  “Why not? You practically do it already.”

  “But I’m just her assistant. I can’t—”

  “You can’t let your dyslexia get in your way. First find out what Larry wants.”

  This couldn’t be happening. It was a dream and a nightmare happening at the same time. She was glad Natalie was gone, but taking Joyce’s place may expose her secret and she couldn’t allow that. She would tell Larry that if he asked. No one could make someone take a promotion they didn’t want.

  Jodi felt as if she were going to the principal’s office as she walked down the hall.

  When she was seven years old she remembered being sent to the principal’s office because she’d head butted a fellow classmate who’d teased her about her father. Your dad is as old as a volcano, he had teased her. Only once, she’d made sure of that, but the words had hurt.

  She remembered walking down the long hallway with angry tears burning behind her eyes. She didn’t care that she’d given him a bloody nose she’d do it again. She loved her dad and didn’t like anyone making fun of him. He was sick and he was older than all the other dads at school. Sometimes she wished he wasn’t so tired all the time—at times he seemed older than even some of her friend’s grandfathers—but when he wasn’t he could make her laugh and he was fun.

  She had no reason to be ashamed, but at a time when she wanted to be like the other kids she stood out. Not only because of her father’s age, but also because she’d used old-fashioned British-Jamaican words that she’d picked up from her father and grandmother.

  She’d learned to keep herself away from situations that made her feel like a fish out of water. Jodi had the same feeling of defiance and fear as she walked to Larry’s office.

  She entered Larry’s office and spoke before he could. “I see that Natalie’s gone and—”

  “Sit down.”

  “I have something to say first. I—”

  He looked more unnerved than he usually did. He ran a hand through his hair, but his hair didn’t fall as neatly as it usually did. “You can say whatever it is later. This is important and I need you to listen carefully.”

  She nodded.

  “Have I ever made you feel as though you weren’t valuable here?”

  “Of course not,” she said, taking a seat in the soft black chair facing his desk. “Where is this coming from?”

  “I just want to make sure that you’re happy here.”

  “I am.”

  “I’ve given you lots of options?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you like me as a leader?”

  “Yes.”

  He took a deep breath looking relieved. “Good. Good.”

  “But I don’t—”

  “Natalie’s gone so you won’t have to worry about her anymore. I realize I should have managed her better than I
did, but it’s all corrected now.”

  Jodi studied him. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Yes. I wanted you to know that you’re now the new operations director. I don’t think you’ll need an assistant because Cara can help you with other duties. The office was a little crowded anyway.”

  “But I can’t take the job.”

  “You have to,” he said sounding a little panicked. “The company needs you and I can’t hire someone right now.”

  “You don’t understand—”

  “Of course I’ll give you time to adjust, so don’t worry. But I didn’t call you here just to talk about that. Garden View is hesitant about signing another contract. I need you to seal the deal for us.”

  “I will, but I really can’t take the position that Joyce had.”

  Larry leaned forward. “Either you take it or leave the company. There’s no other position for you.”

  She couldn’t lose her job. But she couldn’t be exposed either. She felt as if she were being squeezed in a vise.

  “This is a promotion. I thought you’d be happy. You’ll get a raise as well.”

  Jodi plastered on a smile, inwardly screaming.

  8

  She spent the next several days in a daze. She had to quit. It was better to quit than to have everyone find out she was a fraud. But she needed the money and she liked what she did.

  “You’re very quiet today,” Margery said. The older woman had stopped by the office to give them brownies her mother had made; a way of thanking them for their services and she’d then offered to buy Jodi lunch.

  Jodi didn’t have much of an appetite but was eager to get out of the office. They now sat in a small American style restaurant among the smell of chili covered hot dogs and French fries smothered with ketchup. “Is something wrong?” Margery asked.

  Yes, everything! “No, just thinking.”

  “Where’s that nice young man who was shadowing you several weeks ago?”

  Nice young man? “Who?”

  “The man who helped you with Dad when you came to our house.”

  Jodi paused for a moment. Dylan? Was she talking about him? She never thought anyone would describe Dylan as a ‘nice young man’. Fierce looking? Yes. Serious? Definitely. But ‘nice’? “Oh, he no longer works with us.”

  “That’s a pity. I think he liked you.”

  “What! You really think so? Did he say something? How could you tell?”

  Margery laughed. “I didn’t suspect it, Mom did. She said he always asked a lot of questions about you.”

  “You mean he talked?” Jodi said surprised. She knew he’d been Mrs. Fischer’s driver on different occasions but she’d imagined him being the silent type.

  “Yes, she said they talked all the time.”

  “He rarely talked to any of us.”

  “Maybe he feels more comfortable with people who are older.” She grinned. “You like him too, don’t you?”

  Jodi’s face burned. Was it that obvious? “I’m not sure your mother is right. If he really liked me he didn’t act like it. Anyway, he’s gone now.”

  “Do you know why he left?”

  “It’s a private matter. But I’m sure he’ll find something else. He was a very good worker.”

  “He’s a good man too; I wish I could have thanked him more for what he did for my dad. Has he worked with seniors before?”

  “I don’t know much about him.”

  Margery rummaged in her purse then pulled out a little black book. “Are you ready to fall in love?”

  Jodi blinked. “What?”

  Margery clicked the top of her pen. “You heard me. Are you ready to fall in love?”

  “I guess,” Jodi said, stumbling over the words.

  “You’re not sure?”

  “I have other things on my mind right now.” Like trying to keep my job.

  “Love can still find a way to fit in,” Margery said, writing some notes in her book.

  Jodi looked at the black book. “What are you doing?”

  “A shame he’s gone. Mom enjoyed him. She’d actually requested him a few times.”

  Jodi nodded. She remembered the request. As soon as he was trained he’d gotten popular with the “same day” calls, but she’d put him on van duty hoping to give him a more structured schedule and pay and then he’d gotten arrested… She inwardly groaned.

  “She said that he didn’t even mind when she took Cashew along. What do you think of a man who likes animals?”

  “I guess it’s a nice trait, but—”

  “Yes or no?”

  “Yes, but—”

  She snapped her black book closed. “That’s all I need to know.”

  “I don’t mean to be rude, but I hope you’re not trying to set me up with anyone right now. I’m not ready.”

  “You’re ready,” Margery said, putting her black book way. “You just don’t know it yet.”

  Jodi didn’t have much time to think about Margery’s statement as she tried her best to learn her new role. She managed to cover two major gaffs with Cara’s help and came up with a system that worked for her, but she lived in constant fear of discovery.

  Two days later she had to take a client clothes shopping when one of the driver’s failed to turn up. She was helping Ms. Rehnquist, a stylish woman of seventy-six, with her three white, red and green shopping bags—new clothes she planned to wear on a Caribbean cruise—when Ms. Rehnquist said, “This dropped out of your purse.”

  Jodi looked at the elegant envelope. “That can’t be mine. Nobody would send something like that to me. It must be yours.”

  Ms. Rehnquist turned the envelope over. “But it has your name on it.” She held it up to her.

  Jodi hesitated not wanting to argue. “Okay, I trust you. You can just slip it in my handbag.”

  “Would you like me to read it for you?”

  “I can read it later.”

  “No, you can’t.”

  Jodi paused feeling suddenly exposed. How did she know?

  “I don’t mind,” Ms. Rehnquist continued, “and I don’t have anywhere else to go. Can I open it for you?”

  Jodi closed the trunk. “I guess so.”

  “Is that a yes?”

  She nodded.

  Ms. Rehnquist sat in the passenger seat while Jodi got in the driver’s side.

  “Don’t start the car,” she said. “I can’t read while I’m driving,” she said.

  Jodi turned off the engine and watched in amazement as Ms. Rehnquist grab a letter opener from her purse and swiftly cut open the gold lined envelope. Inside was a handwritten note on expensive parchment paper lined with finely woven lace.

  “You have been personally selected to join The Black Stockings Society,” she read, “an elite, members-only club that will change your life and help you find the man of your dreams. Guaranteed.”

  “Guaranteed?” Jodi said with a sniff. “Does it really say that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then it’s a scam.”

  “I haven’t finished reading yet.”

  “I’ve heard enough.” She turned the key in the ignition. “You can throw it away.”

  “Dumped?”

  Her hand fell to her lap. “What?”

  She pointed to the letter. “That’s what it says, Dumped? Have you been dumped?”

  “No.”

  “Bored? It says that too,” she said when Jodi looked confused. “Tired of being single? Ready to live dangerously?”

  “It says all that?”

  “Yes, are you any of those things?”

  She hadn’t been dumped. She did feel a little bored. She’d gotten used to being single until she met Dylan. She’d love to end her single days with him. She shook her head. She had to forget him. “What was the last thing it said?”

  “Ready to live dangerously?”

  No. Her life was risky enough.

  “You only have to answer ‘yes’ to one of those questions.”

&nbs
p; Jodi bit her lip. “I would like to meet someone someday.”

  “Then this is the club for you.” Ms. Rehnquist pointed to the invitation. “Yes, that’s what it says. Guaranteed results! Submit your application today.”

  Jodi frowned. “There’s that word ‘guaranteed’ again. And if I was selected why would I have to fill out an application?”

  “I’ll help you fill it out. You don’t want to miss this opportunity.”

  Jodi hesitated.

  “The application fee is small.”

  Her brows shot up. “There’s a fee too?” She shook her head. “No way. That’s how scams work. You just get a bunch of people to pay a small amount and end up making a fortune.”

  “I’ll pay the fee then.”

  “No.”

  “What do you have to lose?”

  She was right. But Jodi didn’t want to believe in something that might not come true. She’d let herself stop believing years ago.

  “Come on,” Ms. Rehnquist urged her. “Let me help you.” She got a pen. “I’ll read out the questions.”

  Jodi sighed resigned. “Okay.”

  “Teacher or student?”

  “What?”

  “That’s the question.”

  “But it doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Of course it does. Would you rather be a teacher or a student?”

  “Both I guess.”

  “Choose one. Don’t think about it, just say it.”

  “I’d love to be a teacher for once. I’d love to have knowledge to give to someone. I always feel that I’m the one learning.”

  She scribbled the answer down. “That’s good.”

  “Don’t write all that down.”

  “Why not? It might help. Okay the next question is: Long or short?”

  “Long or short what?”

  “Just long or short. I suppose it means do you prefer things to be long or short.”

  Jodi shook her head. “It depends. These questions make no sense.”

  “Well I suppose since this is for changing your life. Would you want a long affair or a short one?”