Rising to her feet, she eyed him calmly. “I take it they haven’t found Ophelia?”
“That’s not really your concern, Dani. Say what you have to say and get out.”
He wasn’t making this easy. Hostility. Impatience. Barely disguised anger.
When her chin started to tremble, she locked her knees, clasped her hands at her waist and bit down hard on her bottom lip. The pain made her focus. “The reason I was sending out résumés is because I was attracted to you. I knew we couldn’t work together under those conditions.”
Not by even the flicker of an eyelash did he betray a response.
“Did you hear what I said?”
He shrugged. “It’s a nice story.”
“You owe me an apology,” she said firmly.
Dark eyes glowed with heat. “The hell you say. I wasn’t the one sneaking around.”
“Don’t use that snotty tone with me,” she shot back. “You’re hardly a saint.”
“I’ll give you that one. But at least I’ve been honest with you. Which is more than you can say in return.”
She inhaled sharply, taking the biggest gamble of her life. “No,” she said bluntly. “You haven’t been honest with me at all.”
His jaw dropped. “Of course I have.”
“You have feelings for me. You might even love me. But you’re too scared to let me get close. The reason you freaked out when you heard I was looking for another job was that I hurt your feelings. And maybe you thought I was abandoning you. But I wasn’t. I’m not.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Dani. Women come and women go. You’re no different from the rest.”
“Nice speech. Have you been practicing?”
The lightning flash of fury in his gaze told her she might have gone too far.
Peaches played happily between them, her innocent baby noises a bizarre backdrop to the gravity of the moment.
Nathaniel ran a hand through his hair, a gesture indicating he was perhaps no calmer than she was. “Did you know NCT will be having a VP opening in the spring? McCaffrey is moving to the West Coast to care for his ailing parents. I had decided to recommend you for the spot. I’m sure with your new degree and your depth of experience at NCT, the board would have agreed.”
“Had decided?” she asked faintly.
“Definitely past tense. You’re the one who chose to leave.” He picked up the baby who had begun to fuss. “It’s time for her nap. Feel free to let yourself out.”
When he returned several minutes later, Dani glared at him. “You’re an ass, you know that?” Frustration clogged her throat.
“And you’re an opportunist.”
“Let me get this straight,” she said tightly. “I produced a blizzard, planted a baby carrier on your car and arranged for myself to become indispensable to you so you would fall for my charms and I wouldn’t have to leave?”
“I have no idea what goes through your mind. All I can say for sure is that you tried to manipulate me, but it won’t happen. I won’t let it, Dani. You can take your stories about falling in love—and peddle them elsewhere.”
He was goading her. Trying to hurt her. And it was working. But the bitter ridicule was his defense mechanism. No one in his personal life had ever put him first. Through no fault of their own, his parents had abandoned him emotionally. Seeing his father’s downfall after cheating with a coworker had cemented the idea that women—and lovers in particular—couldn’t be trusted.
And then came Ophelia’s manipulations. Poor Nathaniel. Beset at every turn.
Dani refused to back down or look away. In that intense moment, she saw the truth. He was feeling something. And it looked a lot like despair and yearning. Could it be true?
Clinging to the hope that what they had shared in this very room was more than lust and opportunity, she went to him and placed both hands, palms flat on his chest. The soft, springy hair beneath her fingertips was like silk. His flesh was hot and smooth.
He sucked in a startled breath when she touched him and then went rigid. “Get out,” he said, the words hoarse, barely audible.
Dani shook her head. “I can’t,” she said softly. “Everything I need is right here. Maybe you don’t believe me today. And maybe not tomorrow or the next day or the next. It doesn’t matter. I’ll keep telling you again and again as long as it takes.”
She went up on her tiptoes, cradled his face in her hands and kissed him. “I love you, Nathaniel Winston. You’re hard and stubborn and suspicious, but you’re also intelligent and decent, and you have a deep capacity for love even if you don’t know it. How many men would take in a baby who’s probably not even his and care for her despite the havoc she wreaks in his life?”
She kissed him one more time. For a moment, she thought she had won. His hand cupped the back of her head, pulling her close and holding her as he responded to her kiss with bruising desperation.
But it didn’t last. He jerked free and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “What would you say if I told you Peaches really is mine after all? That her real name is Lila, and that her mother doesn’t want her...that Ophelia has signed away her rights because she’s leaving the country with a man who doesn’t tolerate children. What then, Dani? What if I said I’d marry you, but only with an ironclad prenup that puts everything in trust for the child?”
Stumbling backward in shock, she sank onto the sofa. She looked at the baby and back at Nathaniel. “It’s true? She’s yours?”
He didn’t say a word. He simply stared at her with an expression she couldn’t read.
Well, here was her choice. Nathaniel needed a mother for his new daughter. Apparently, he was willing to spin the game to his advantage. Dani swallowed hard. “I’m very happy for you,” she whispered. “I know you’ll be a wonderful father.”
Tears clogged her throat. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t marry him knowing he didn’t want her the same way she wanted him. It would destroy her.
Before coming here today, she had hoped to look into his eyes and see the truth about what he felt for her. She had told herself even a little flicker of love could grow.
If there was nothing in his feelings for Dani but lust, she was better off without him. She had to clear her throat twice before she could speak. “I’d take that deal in a heartbeat if you loved me. But you don’t, do you?”
She stood on shaky legs and composed her expression. “I won’t bother you again, Nathaniel. I wish you and Peaches all the best.”
Rapidly, she walked out of the room, her heart beating in her chest so wildly she felt sick. Yanking open the door in the foyer that led to the hallway, she wiped her eyes, intending to flee, but Nathaniel was right on her heels.
“That’s it?” he shouted. “You lose your shot at the money, and you’re gone?”
“No,” she said raggedly, turning to face him, tears spilling over and wetting her face. “I didn’t lose. The truth is, I had a narrow escape. I don’t want your money or your sterile condo or your stupidly expensive vehicles. I wanted a man who would love me. That’s all. Now, forgive me for being slow, but I’ve finally figured out that man isn’t you. You’re going to live alone and die alone. I feel sorry for you, actually.”
“I don’t need your pity,” he snarled.
She reached blindly for the doorknob, desperate to escape. A hard masculine hand came down on her shoulder, spinning her around. Nathaniel’s face was white, his eyes glittering like coals.
“Let me go,” she cried.
He got up in her face, his breath warm on her cheeks, his grip on her shoulders viselike. “What makes you think you can save me from myself?”
And then she saw it. Buried beneath the layers of fury and condemnation was a pained uncertainty. Nathaniel Winston thought he was unlovable.
Her whole bod
y went limp. She could fight his pigheadedness but not such aching vulnerability from a man who prided himself on icy control. She could barely breathe.
“I was hoping we could save each other,” she whispered. The time for self-preservation was gone. She would give him complete honesty or nothing at all. “The world is a scary place, Nathaniel. But when I’m with you, everything seems possible. I didn’t want to fall in love. That’s why I was leaving NCT. But I waited too long and the snow came, and now I can’t imagine waking up every morning and not seeing your face.”
Thirteen
Nathaniel still reeled from the shock of finding out he was a father, and now Dani expected him to believe the two of them had a chance?
He shoved her away and paced the confines of the foyer, feeling sick. “Love makes a man stupid,” he muttered. “Did you see all that baby stuff I bought? I’m a sucker.”
Dani stood watching him with pity in her eyes, her arms wrapped around her waist. He didn’t need that, not from her. She looked beautiful and professional and exactly like the woman who had worked with him for almost two years. But things had changed.
She lifted her shoulders and let them fall. “You’ll be a better parent than either your father or your mother was if you put your mind to it. I’m sorry Ophelia abandoned her daughter.”
Rage filled his chest. “People shouldn’t have babies if they can’t follow through. It’s criminal.”
His ragged shout echoed in the small foyer. Dani stared at him, her blue eyes awash in tears. “I can’t make up for what you lost, Nathaniel. I wish to God it was possible. But we could do it right this time. Peaches doesn’t have to be the only one. Families are wonderful.”
He blinked, not sure what he was hearing. After every cruel, heartless thing he had said to her? He cleared his throat, his head spinning. “Are you offering to give me a baby?”
Her chin wobbled. “No. I’m saying I want to make a baby with you. When the time is right.” She tried to smile, but the failed attempt broke his heart. “I love you. Even though you’re acting like a jackass and trying to shove me out the door, I won’t stop loving you. I’ll sign a legal document if you need a tangible reason to trust me.”
Fear like he had never known clutched him from every angle. Spending time with Dani’s parents and siblings had shown him what normal family life could look like. The yearning had hit him hard, reminding of everything his mother’s illness had cost him.
“I lied to you, Dani,” he muttered, stung by the enormity of his sins.
She frowned. “About what?”
“You asked me if I had ever fantasized about you at the office.”
She paled. “You told me you had.”
“That was an understatement,” he said flatly. “The truth was too damning.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Six months after you first started working with me, I began dreaming about you. Every night. In vivid Technicolor.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh.”
He shrugged. “It scared the hell out of me. I’d watched my father go down that road and be ripped apart financially and emotionally. For years, I told myself I would never get involved with an employee. But there you were, so bright and funny and damned good at the job. I was stuck. Every day you and I worked together like the proverbial well-oiled machine, and every night I undressed you a thousand times and a thousand ways in my mind.”
“So it wasn’t just me...” Her eyes were round.
He shuddered, wanting her desperately and yet afraid to touch her. “No.”
“Are you in love with me, Nathaniel?”
The words were barely audible. Maybe she was scared, but she didn’t show it. The stupid woman didn’t know how to protect herself. “Men like fucking,” he said. “We don’t wrap it up in pretty ribbons.”
He was testing her. Pushing her. Trying to drive her away.
Dani inhaled sharply and fell back a step as if his deliberate profanity were a physical blow. “So you would rather have a temporary affair?”
“Are you available?” He stared at his nemesis, stone-faced. Every emotion he felt for her hammered in his chest like a wild swarm of butterflies trying desperately to break free.
In the hushed silence, he witnessed the moment Dani saw past his facade. Her expression softened.
“For one night,” she said softly, her face aglow as if she heard something amazing in his crude offer. She was young but wise. Sure of herself and maybe of him, as well. “And the next and the next and all the ones after that.”
“Fine,” he said. His hands trembled, so he jammed them in his pockets. “Don’t most women want a man down on one knee? The pricey ring. The pretty speeches? I’m surprised you’re selling yourself short.”
“Shut up, Nathaniel.” Her wry smile warmed him from the inside out. “Shut up and prove to me I’m not making the biggest mistake of my life.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek exactly over the spot where his heart pounded madly.
His hands tangled in her hair. He couldn’t stop shaking. It was a mostly unmanly thing to do, but Dani didn’t seem to mind. He clutched her tightly. “I don’t know how to do forever.”
She went up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. “We’ll figure it out together,” she said. “It won’t be so bad, Nathaniel, I promise.”
The walls came down, every brick, every fragment of mortar. He inhaled her scent, his mind a blank. “I need you, my sweet Christmas elf.”
“I know,” Dani whispered. “I know...”
Epilogue
Thirty-six hours later, New Year’s Eve
Nathaniel flung open the door to his condo and dropped a pile of packages on the chair in the foyer. “I’m home,” he yelled.
Dani appeared, her radiant smile catching him unawares and wiping every coherent thought from his brain. “What took you so long?” she said.
He scooped her up and twirled her in dizzying circles until her hair fanned out from her head and they both laughed breathlessly. “It’s not easy finding a Christmas tree on December 31.” He released her and grabbed up the largest bag. “What do you think?”
The tree was prelit, but that was its only claim to fame. Twelve inches high and already shedding artificial needles, it was a tree only a mother could love...or a man bent on setting the stage for romance.
“I adore it,” Dani said, her eyes dancing with amusement.
“Help me carry everything.” he said. He headed straight for the den and began setting out his bounty. Carryout containers from Dani’s favorite restaurant. An eighty-dollar bottle of champagne. Tulips and roses from a ridiculously expensive Buckhead florist.
Dani plugged in the tiny tree and set it on the hearth, then stood back and watched, her expression caught somewhere between excitement and apprehension. The two of them had spent the majority of yesterday afternoon and evening making love. Nathaniel had slept the entire night with her in his arms. This morning they had made French toast together.
Now came the hard part.
When he was finished with the accoutrements, he examined his handiwork. He’d never tried to impress a woman before, not really. Tonight, it was vital that Dani understand what was happening.
He took her hand. “We need to talk.” Fortunately, Peaches was asleep at the moment.
Dani blinked. “Ouch. Barely a day and a half and we already need to talk?”
Drawing her over to the sofa, he sat down and pointed to the opposite end. “You, there,” he said. He had important things to say. His self-control was tenuous at best, so he wasn’t taking any chances.
She cooperated obediently, leaning back into the corner embrace of his expensive leather sofa and crisscrossing her legs like a child. Her hair was clean and damp and shiny. He knew she had s
howered while he was gone, because he smelled the soap his housekeeper put in the bathrooms.
They had stopped by Dani’s apartment late yesterday, so now she had her own wardrobe to choose from. Tonight she was wearing gray leggings and an off-the-shoulder, cotton-candy-pink sweater. Her feet were bare. There was a good chance she wasn’t wearing a bra. He didn’t look too closely, because if she weren’t, he might forget his speech.
Dani held out her hands, palms up. “The food is getting cold, Nathaniel. Say whatever you have to say.”
Her lips smiled, but her gaze was wary. That expression in her eyes crucified him. How long would it take before she ceased expecting the worst from him?
He jumped to his feet and paced. For the past hour, he’d rehearsed what he wanted to say. Now, suddenly, his brain fogged. “You were right to say I owed you an apology. Looking for other employment was a very professional thing for you to do. But the prospect of you not being in the office every day caught me off guard. I never wanted you to resign, not really. I was angry, and I lashed out.” His stomach cramped. “You have an incredible brain and the ability to connect with all kinds of people. I would hate to see you leave NCT. You deserve the chance to prove what you can do for the company.”
“I see.”
“You already said that once,” he muttered.
“True.” Dani gnawed her bottom lip. “Is what I do at NCT more important to you than talking about us?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I’m confused. Now that we’re practicing détente, I assumed our personal life was going to take precedence over work.”
“It does. It will.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Maybe this will help.” He reached inside the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a folded sheaf of papers. “Happy New Year, Dani. I may be the world’s most stubborn man, but I believe in second chances, and I hope you do, too. That’s not a prenup, by the way,” he said hastily.
She unfolded the papers and stared at them, turning one page at a time slowly. Nathaniel had paid his expensive legal team a fat bonus to put the wheels in motion on his grand gesture before the clock struck midnight.
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