by Tia Siren
“Trust you, what is it?”
“Ah, but you must have faith in me,” replied Ezekiel with a wink and a laugh.
Sarah laughed too. There was a certain undefinable charm about him. She watched as he worked but this time she knew what to expect. She knew that he would hum glorious and uplifting tunes to himself and seem to smile and laugh the entire time he worked. It was if he was in constant communication with God and he was continually being filled with enthusiasm for life. Sarah tried to think joyful thoughts. But as much as she was beginning to learn about how Ezekiel saw the world, her thoughts of God and joy were drowned out by the pain of her loss. She continued working to take her mind off it.
After they finished work for the day, they went back as they had the day before. They enjoyed another great meal together. This time it was goose. It was delicious. Sarah was so exhausted after two straight days of working hard doing chores that she could barely bring herself to talk at the dinner table of after. She went to her bedroom as quickly as she could.
“I am sure that you learned some more life lessons from Isaiah today,” said Sarah to her father.
“Sarah, I have learned a lot in just the two days that I have been here. I honestly feel different about how I see life. It is hard to explain, but it is real. Sarah I want us to reconcile. I need to hear that you forgive me. It will ease my suffering and my guilt. Could you please offer that to me?”
Sarah felt a desire in her to forgive him for all he had done to her in the past. For some reason it nagged at her and she wanted to hug her father and reconcile with him. It wasn’t right for a daughter to hate her father so much. Maybe the hatred was cooling off. Maybe now she simply didn’t like him. But she still could not bring herself to forgive him.
“I want to believe you, dad. I really do. But you have let me down far too many times. You forgive a person for spilling their drink on you, but not for this. I am sorry I cannot give you what you seek.” Sarah got into bed. She felt the weight of her sorrow and sadness consume her. It was as if she could not escape it, it stifled her.
She remembered what Ezekiel had said about faith, and wanting to show her. But she still didn’t know what he meant, and she was too tired to be able to care very much. She drifted off to sleep imagining her mother and what if felt like to be loved by her.
*****
“Sarah, get up, get up.”
“What, what is going on? Ezekiel, What are you doing here?”
Ezekiel whispered, “remember I had something to show you? Well now is the time. We must be quick though.”
Sarah got out of bed as fast as she could without being loud. She saw that her father was still there sleeping and didn’t want to wake him. “What time is it?”
“It is early, but not that early. We don’t have a lot of time,” he said. He grabbed her hand and led her out of the room and out the front door. It was very cold. “Here, put this on.” Ezekiel put his coat around Sarah. It fit surprisingly well. And smelled good.
“Where are we going,” demanded Sarah as she didn’t want to be out in the cold if she had no clue what was going on.
“You have to have faith in me, Sarah,” explained Ezekiel. “Now follow me.” Ezekiel began to run. he was faster than Sarah expected him to be. For where did an Amish boy learn to run fast. Ezekiel never ran track in high school or played football. But he could run. And Sarah struggled to keep up. They entered into the woods and the starlight and moonlight no longer illuminated their path. “hold my hand, Sarah.” Isaiah lead her through the trees. He moved deftly and without hesitation. He had done this many times before.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going yet,” asked Sarah. “I think I have trusted you quite a bit already and you owe me something.”
Ezekiel stopped. “Listen,” he said. “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what,” asked Sarah.
“The crickets, the frogs, the trees rustling in the wind. Close your eyes, Sarah. It is a chorus. The soundtrack of the night. This is a gift that God has given us. You said earlier that we do not have music. But yes we do. And I would say that this music given to us directly by the Lord above is better than anything that you have in heard in your earbuds.” Ezekiel seemed to be transfixed by the sounds.
“Yes, I can hear it.” Sarah closed her eyes. “Yes, that really is wonderful.” Sarah was not being sarcastic but genuinely loved the sounds. She felt a sense of peace come over, one that she had not felt for a long time. She smiled, hoping that it was too dark for Ezekiel to see.
“Sarah, I hope you are not beginning to get your first taste of joy,” said Ezekiel jokingly. “Come, we must continue ahead. We cannot stay here.
“I thought this is what you…” Ezekiel grabbed her hand and dragged Sarah along. He started to run faster than before and with all of the trees Sarah could not keep up unless she held tight to Ezekiel and trusted that he knew the way. He kept a steady speed for a while and Sarah felt like there was no way that she could continue. Then he slowed down and then stopped.
“Are we there yet,” asked Sarah as she tried to catch her breath.
“We have reached the creek. We must cross here to get to our destination. But we must be quick, for we don’t have much time.”
Time for what? Sarah couldn’t imagine what they could possibly be late for. Was he anxious to show her a midnight barn raising?
“The only way to cross is on those stones in the creek. You can’t see them very easily, but I know exactly where they are and will be able to guide you,” explained Ezekiel. I will go over first, and then you will come after.
Ezekiel looked for the familiar spot that he crossed. He found it immediately and then readied himself to jump. It was not a long leap, but it was a bit more than a stop. He landed securely with perfect balance.
“See there is nothing to it,” he said with a hint of glee in his voice. He readied himself for the next jump and again landed securely without losing his balance at all. Sarah was impressed. “There is only one more stone that I have to land on. It is close to the other side, and from there I can just step to dry land. The last jump is the hardest though.”
Ezekiel made sure that he was secure, and then got ready to jump. He pushed off harder this time, and landed on the third stone. But this time he wobbled a little bit before regaining his balance.
“See that last one is tough. I almost fell in.” Ezekiel stepped to the other side of the creek. “Now it is your turn.”
“I don’t know if I can do this,” said Sarah. “I will fall into the water, and it is freezing cold. There is no way I can do this.”
“Yes you can,” said Ezekiel, trying to assure her. “Just have faith. Remember you have to experience it. Now is your chance. Trust me.”
Have faith. But what does this have to do with God? Sarah determined that she would try to make it across. Ezekiel had been true so far. She would trust him. The first stone was barely visible in the darkness, and Sarah felt that she would barely be able to make it. She crouched down to make the jump. She sprang into the air and then to her relief felt the solid stone beneath her feet. She had successfully made the first jump.
“Great job, Sarah. This next one is easier,” said Ezekiel, cheering her on.
Sarah readied herself and made the jump. This time with more confidence than before. She landed securely on the stone. “Look at me, I am doing it.”
“You are Sarah, you are doing a great job. Now this last jump is the hardest and it might look like it is impossible for you right now. But I am over here and I will catch you if you are going to fall off. You just have to trust me that I won’t let you get hurt,” said Ezekiel.
“Okay, I am going to make the jump.” Sarah crouched down and this time pushed down with all of her might. She closed her eyes when she was in the air for fear of seeing the ice cold water below. She would rather hit it without seeing it coming. She felt the hard rock beneath her feet, but she struck it with so much force that she couldn’t ke
ep her balance. Sarah opened her eyes and saw nothing but the trees swirling around her. She was going to fall. Then, right before she fell completely off of the rock, she felt Ezekiel catch her in his strong arms.
“I told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” he said. “You did really great Sarah.”
Sarah regained her focus and looked up and saw Ezekiel looking down at her. For a moment she was transfixed by his gaze but then the moment was over.
“But, now we must go again. We don’t have much time,” said Ezekiel as he stood Sarah upright and then headed off into the woods. I thought this is what he wanted to show me. I guess not.
Sarah tried to keep up, but Ezekiel darted through the trees with skill and dexterity. he made sure that she wasn’t too far behind though.
“We are almost there,” yelled Ezekiel with more excitement in his voice than Sarah had ever heard before. “Just past these trees, and then...you will see.”
Sarah sprinted as fast as she could. Ezekiel was so excited that it was rubbing off on her. He must have something good in store for her. When she got past the trees and came out of the woods, she saw Ezekiel standing still. She stopped, and then walked to his side.
They were standing on top of a hill that overlooked a valley that stretched to the horizon.
“Look at that view, Sarah. Look into the sky. Look at the stars.”
Sarah looked up and saw more stars than she had ever seen in her entire life. There was no pollution to hide or obstruct them as they shown through the crystal night sky. They seemed so close that Sarah felt like she could reach up and grab a handful of them. She wished she could take some back to her father and show him.
“Look at the horizon Sarah, we are just in time.”
Sunlight crept over the top of the mountains in the distance as the sun began its journey. Sarah felt wonderment, as she had never seen anything quite so beautiful before in her entire life.
“watch as the orange hued rays kiss the skyline,” said Ezekiel. “The light will slowly creep over the valley. Watch as the flowers turn to face it as it greets them. Listen as the birds begin to sing as the sun ascends over the horizon. Feel the energy of the woods as the animals come alive all around us. This is the glory that each new day brings. Feel the sunshine kiss on your skin as it banishes the cold of night.”
Sarah did feel all that Ezekiel had said. She wondered how he had come to speak so poetically about the sunrise. She looked straight into the sun as it was not bright enough yet to hurt her eyes. It was beautiful.
“So this is what you wanted to show me?” Asked Sarah.
“Yes,” said Ezekiel.
“It is beautiful,” continued Sarah. “But what does this have to do with faith,” she asked.
“You really are clever, Sarah,” said Ezekiel. “The reason I brought you here is because you said that you could not have faith in a God that would allow suffering and your mother to die. Well I say how could you not have faith in a God that created something so wonderful as this sunrise.”
It made sense to Sarah. It didn’t answer a lot of questions, but it made sense. And it resonated with her.
“Sarah, there is a lot that we cannot know. I don’t know why your mother died. I don’t know why anything bad happens in this world. But I also don’t know why anything good happens either. So should I focus on being angry about the bad? Or should I focus on being grateful and happy for the good? You are a smart girl Sarah. You tell me which is more logical.”
Sarah nodded her head slightly, almost imperceptibly. She knew deep down that Ezekiel was right, that there was no good reason that she should focus on the evil and not the good. She was standing next to a wonderful guy that had shown her something amazing, and taught her something even better. She was with a family that loved her and would always be there for her. Her father was becoming a changed man and finding happiness. What did she have to be mad about anyway? Maybe this was God’s way of working things out for good?
“I think that we both know the answer to that,” said Sarah with a smile.
Ezekiel didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to.
They stood and watched the sunrise for a while longer, making sure to soak in every moment. Ezekiel reached for her hand. It caught Sarah off guard. But he had been holding her hand all night, guiding her through the woods. It felt good she admitted to herself. She laughed to herself. A few days ago she hated everything to do with the Amish. Now she was holding hands with one of their own.
“We must go back now,” said Ezekiel. We need to make it back for breakfast and our chores. We wouldn’t want to miss any of that now would we.”
*****
it was light out now, and Sarah could see her way through the trees much easier. her feet felt light as she still energized from the beauty of the sunrise. It was as if she was gliding through the forest. Ezekiel helped her across the creek and made sure she didn’t fall. He made sure that her every step was in its proper place, and something told her that he would always look out for her.
When they got out of the woods on the other side, Sarah saw the house again. But this time it didn’t look old and primitive and devoid of luxuries. This time it looked cute and charming and rustic and beautiful. She wondered if this is how the Amish see everything. The grass seemed to tickle her legs as she ran. They got to the house just as breakfast was starting.
“Where were you guys?” Asked Isaiah.
“I was showing Sarah the sunrise. You know at the spot that you used to take me when i was younger,” explained Ezekiel.
Isaiah gave a knowing nod. He looked at Sarah and could see that her temperament had changed. She looked happy, as if there was as glow about her. “And is that the case?” He asked Sarah.
“Why, yes, of course. Your son actually showed me a lot. In a way, he opened my eyes for the first time.” Sarah was emphatic.
Isaiah believed her and looked at her as if to say that he understood exactly what it felt like to have your eyes opened. Sarah looked at her father. He seemed delighted to see her and in a better mood than she was used to out of him.
“Well now that we are all here, let’s dig in,” said Rebekah.
Sarah heartily agreed, as she was very hungry after the long morning. After breakfast, they did their chores just like they had the past two days. The chores seemed easy with her newfound joy and perspective. She talked with Ezekiel and grew closer to him. He was like a best friend to her. But a great looking best friend that she never wanted to be apart from again. When they were finished with everything, they began to head back to the house.
“Ezekiel, I have a question for you,” asked Sarah nervously. “Do the Amish date, and if so how?”
Ezekiel laughed. “How do you think that we get married and have kids. We date, but we don’t do it the exact same way that you are used to.”
“Oh interesting,” said Sarah.
“Why do you ask,” replied Ezekiel.
“Oh no reason,” Sarah felt for sure that she was coming across as ridiculous.
“You are asking because you want to date me, aren’t you Sarah. I can see it on your face. And and I can hear it in the way you talk.” Ezekiel laughed.
“Why do you laugh at that idea. Even if it were true it wouldn’t be funny.”
“You are right,” Ezekiel calmed himself down. “But, to clear up any of the tension, let me ask you Sarah if you would do the honor of allowing me to court you. Not date you. But court you. That is what we Amish call it.”
Sarah looked relieved and thrilled. “Of course. I would love that. But how do we court? I wouldn’t know the first thing to do?”
“We have a way of doing it that you are going to get a kick out of. Most outsiders think it is the strangest practice. But it actually makes a lot of sense. I have never done it myself. But it sounds pretty awesome. Well, awesome if you are with the right person of course.”
“Oh and what is this method for courting?” Asked Sarah.
“Sa
rah, again, you are going to have to trust me. I will ask father about this.” Ezekiel looked eager. “I will ask now. Let’s go inside. We can start tonight.”
Sarah was confused, but decided to trust Ezekiel. “One thing, before we can court though.”
“Anything,” replied Ezekiel.
“It is not anything that you need to do. It is something that I have to do. There is a lot of enmity between my father and I. I wouldn’t feel right about starting something between us if there is so much negativity in my life. It wouldn’t be fair to you Ezekiel. You deserve the very best from me.”
“I understand,” replied Ezekiel. “And I think that is very noble of you. How about I talk to my father and you talk to yours. You can ask him if he thinks it is alright for us to court as well.”
Sarah went into the house. her father was already finished with his chores for the day and was sitting at the table reading a Bible. She was surprised, but also happy for him. Her father really was a changed man, and that would make it much easier to forgive him.
“Father, can I speak to you really quick about something,” said Sarah.
“Yes, of course honey, you can talk to me about anything, you know that,” he replied. Sarah couldn’t remember the last time that they spoke to each other so respectfully.
“Remember the other night when you asked for my forgiveness. You said that you needed to hear is so that the burden of guilt would be lifted off of you. Well the reason I couldn’t give my forgiveness last night was because of me, not you. Something happened to me today, and I feel changed. I feel that I can forgive you, and I do forgive you.”
“Oh Sarah,” said her father as tears welled up in his eyes. “I have longed to be at peace with you again for a long time. You have no idea how much I love you. You are my daughter and you mean so much to me. I will be a better father. I promise.”
“I know you will,” said Sarah. She hugged him. They embraced for what felt like a long time. Then Sarah remembered the second question she wanted to ask him. “Can I court Ezekiel?”